


To See The Sun

by Waddles2018



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Avalon Has Lots of Apples, Celty Is Just Misunderstood, Character Development Exists I Guess, Descendants Au, Dollars (Durarara!!), Don't Get Mad At Me For Plot Twists, Durarara!! AU, Fluff, Izaya Just Wanted to Set the Rocks Free, Izaya Laughs Like a Hyena, Izaya Loves Strawberries, M/M, Major Changes to Plot, Namie Is Salty, Probably Gonna Be Really Long, Shinra is Helpless for Celty, Shizuo Hates Izaya's Laugh, Shizuo Loves Izaya's Laugh, Shizuo is confused, Slow Burn, That's a lie, The Isle of The Damned Needs More Flowers, Tom Isn't Paid Enough, Tree Houses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:26:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 98,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23500789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waddles2018/pseuds/Waddles2018
Summary: "Do you want to see the sun?""More than anything."-In a world where villains were successfully locked away on their own little Island and the so proclaimed heroes lived in bliss, it was the tough as steel and impenetrable barrier that kept it that way.A seven year old Izaya found himself throwing rocks at the barrier that separated the two worlds. Sometimes they would pass through to the other side. But every single day he would find the pile of rocks back at his feet. On one day, frustration got the better of him, and coaxed him into kicking one of the rocks. He ended up with four bruised toes and teary eyes, along with a helpless tremor at his lips. He had just set them free yesterday.-A seven year old Shizuo always found a tiny mountain of rocks starting to pile up against the barrier. They weren't supposed to be there, so every time he chucked them back till they passed through again. But they kept appearing day after day, and it wasn't easy to send them back from where they came from. On one day, frustration took over, and he threw one at the barrier just to see it recoil back. With a large bruise next to his right eye, he pouted. He had just cleared the area yesterday.
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya
Comments: 72
Kudos: 174





	1. Let The Rocks Be Free

**Author's Note:**

> So I did a thing.

The villains had lost ages ago.

Izaya was aware of this from the day he was born.

He was going to remain stuck on this miserable piece of land for the rest of his even more so miserable life.

Izaya was aware of this from the day he was born.

And he would give anything to see the sun.

Izaya was aware of this since yesterday.

Being the mighty age of seven there was only so much he could do to contribute to the failing anarchy of their island, officially named The Isle Of The Damned by the winners of the war who lived in the Island of Avalon, who despite everything, clearly had a wonderful sense of humour. And there wasn't much to do at home except for staring at his mother or wondering what she would be like if dad was ever home, so he made the streets his own. They were villains in the eyes of everyone, but every kid from The Isle moved as a single unruly unit, whether their parent was only a nameless grunt, or a force that was once to be reckoned with before they were imprisoned in a place that didn't contain a semblance of magic. Or internet for that matter. The younger generation would run through the markets, maybe snag an item or two instead of bothering to actually trade (their economy was truly flourishing), and then he would meet up with his three very best friends at their secret base that was actually just a tree house.

They would spend hours talking about the most crucial of subjects like their dreams and annoyingly bright futures. And it didn't matter if they lived in a pile of garbage with a stench worse than Hell's, because they were kids talking about keeping the princess locked away for good this time, for the sake of their parents. And they could talk for hours and hours about ruling over the world, feeling unstoppable in their tree house, while they all knew that every kid out in the street including themselves didn't care about world domination, they just wanted to be saved.

And after, they would say 'See you tomorrow' with a cheeky grin (for those of them that didn't hide their face behind a helmet) and a hasty wave before running away to their own homes. Izaya didn't go home. He never went immediately at least. He took his time to explore the outskirts of the Isle, which was just a little further than were their tree house was, and every time he felt as if he never wanted to go back.

The barrier surrounding their island was as tough as steel and smooth to the touch. It was clear like glass, allowing the eye to think that nothing was there, that you could run straight ahead till you create your own wind, and nothing could ever stop you except for your own two feet.

It stopped Izaya long before his feet could.

But he was smarter than that now, he was seven years old after all, and he knew everything about the barrier and the world around him, he thought. The most important feature of the barrier was that it was completely impenetrable. Except for one little part. There was a section of the barrier were the outskirts of The Isle Of The Damned and Avalon met; the only part where the islands met. The rest of the islands were separated by miles of ocean, except for the magical bridge that appeared when they would send over supplies so that not everyone would starve to death at least.

That little part of the barrier was still strong, but it rippled like water when Izaya poked it the first time, although it didn't allow for his finger to go through. It didn't make much of a difference though, because the less immaculate part of the barrier was only as big as the open palm of an adult. He didn't mind that though. The place was beautiful unlike the rest of the island. Since it was touching the outskirts of Avalon, the beauty must have seeped in from the perfect looking haven, leaving it to be the only part of The Isle covered in grass and trees; hence, the existence of their secret base was allowed.

He never told anyone about it because the information was worthless in his opinion, and he threw nearby rocks at the barrier till they passed through the weak spot because he was seven and had nothing better to do in his late afternoon. And that quickly became a routine. What also became an annoying habit was finding all the rocks he threw back on his side of the barrier the very next afternoon. On one day, frustration got the better of him, and coaxed him into kicking one of the rocks. He ended up with four bruised toes and teary eyes, along with a helpless tremor at his lips. He had just set them free yesterday, after all.

**-**

Shizuo always found himself staring outside the windows of his castle, his eyes searching for the view of the Isle which was nothing short of scary for a seven year old. But he couldn't stare for long because he was a busy little kid; between spending time with his brother and going to suit fittings that he despised with his very being, he barely found time to run past the woods that lead to the very outskirts of Avalon after his mother strictly told him not to do so. Not that he didn't respect his mother, but he was a seven year old brat, and his mother was honestly expecting too much of him. He had a job to do after all, that mountain of rocks piling up against the barrier didn't belong there, and if he didn't clean it up, then they would just sit there, and that would be nothing short of a tragedy.

He only realized about the small fault in the barrier because he was messing around that one time and almost got his face stuck in it when he was five. He then swore to never go back again, before going back the next day.

But now, he took his time to chuck the rocks back through, only to find them making their return the next morning. On one day, frustration took over, and he threw one at the barrier just to see it recoil back. With a large bruise next to his right eye, he pouted. He had just cleared the area yesterday, after all.

**-**

Izaya was enjoying a rather lazy afternoon by the barrier, resting against a tree and setting the rocks free with a flick of the wrist and a rather precise aim. It was honestly quite the chore, but the sky was blue and the fuzzy ball high above was still shining so there was only so much that he could complain about. The birds were rather loud on that day, in fact he could hear them from his side of the barrier, chirping their melodies and tweeting nonsense at each other.

And then, the unthinkable happened. A boy walked up to him. From the other side of the barrier. Izaya's hand froze momentarily and the two just gave each other blank looks. He was a lot less lanky then the kids of The Isle but still quite skinny, and he wasn't quite as pale as them either. He had messy blonde hair and wore shorts and a t-shirt that were covered in dust and a few holes here and there, and there was a bruise next to his right eye. After deeming him not much different than himself, Izaya shrugged and flicked the pebble in his fingers through the barrier, and the blonde kid narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms.

"So you're the one throwing rocks on our side!" He accused, although he sounded a little muffled with the barrier between them. Instantaneously Izaya realized that this had been the faceless enemy he had been facing all this time, his sworn rival that he couldn't seem to cross paths with. He stopped slouching against the tree and stood up properly, walked over till he was just inches away from the barrier, and held his head high even though the kid was visibly taller than him by just a little. He clenched his fist and stood his ground while looking him in the eye. "I'm setting them free."

There was no room for childish doubt in his statement although it was a childish statement nonetheless. But the blonde's hostile demeanor changed at the site of Izaya's attitude, and after a few moments of silence except for the warbling of the birds, he asked a question.

"Is it because you wanna be free too?"

It was genuine, lacking mockery or sarcasm from what Izaya could tell, and it made him just a little uncomfortable, so he heaved a sigh, averted his eyes and scratched the back of his neck.

"Wouldn't _you_ want to be free?"

Shizuo thought that the people of The Isle were scary.  
On that day, Shizuo learned that he was wrong.  
Unbeknownst to him, the boy he met was the son of one of the most despicable villains, and he was just days away from forming his own gang. But he wasn't scary.

"Will you be here again tomorrow?"  
The chirping of the birds didn't fail to accompany the question with a rather musical lilt.

**-**


	2. The Fuzzy Ball In The Sky Has A Name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just wanted to clarify; for those of you that haven't watched Descendants, don't worry, you don't need any knowledge about it to understand the plot.  
> And for those of you that have watched Descendants, I'm mostly going to be working off the plot of the first movie but there will be major changes to that plot.

_"Will you be here again tomorrow?"_

Izaya didn't know why the blonde boy had asked such a question, but he was curious enough to respond with a simple nod of the head, his action enough to form a sort of unspoken promise between the two. He wasn't sure about what they would do, or what they would talk about, but he wasn't indifferent enough to not care, so while walking home he added _'Meet the blonde boy_ ' for tomorrow's routine.

The _Tomorrow._

The thought alone was exciting on its own accord, even if the world around him was bleak enough to destroy any semblance of anticipation from any living thing. It wasn't an understatement to say that The Isle didn't have much life, except for when the younger ones, Izaya included, were rampaging through the streets. The villains that were so despicable just years ago (from what he was told) seemed to be reverting to shells of what they used to be. The most of them still had a type of aura around them, malice dancing in their eyes, waiting for the day that they could take their revenge. And there were very few that still had a bite that could live up to their bark but, at the end of the day, any sense of hope was quite... useless. 

While the people of Avalon had a transportation system where they sent over supplies like food and clothes and even building materials, any other measures they were taking was more to keep everyone in check than actually help anyone. The rumors that were currently going around speculated that the guards patrolling the outskirts of The Isle next to the magical bridge were collecting information about everyone and the growing family trees. They never bothered to go in much further for their own safety, to protect themselves from the bad guys.

Izaya always wondered where the bad guys were hiding.

But he got bored of thinking the same thing all the time, and before he knew it he was walking through a road that was a little more familiar than the rest, with jagged edges of cracked pavement attempting to pierce through his shoes and an almost wobbly door that made the small smile on his face disappear.

"I'm back," he announced, albeit a little reluctantly.

It was silent at first, but just as he had irritatingly anticipated, his mother showed up to greet him. No wonder his dad was barely ever around if he had to come back to be welcomed by such a woman. Her expression was enough to make him frown harder. Her well defined cheek bones and jaw line reminded him of the sharp blades that some people carried around like bags of groceries. Although recently, sharp blades were a more common sight than bags full of actual groceries. Her eyes were a stark contrast to his own; a vibrant green that seemed to remain unaffected by the dull atmosphere around them. They were always so unsettling. 

"So, you're finally back. Took you long enough." 

Her voice was controlled and therefore controlling, _as always_ , and whether she spoke in a whisper or not, her tone demanded for attention. Her black cloak that she used to wear in her glory days (or so he was told by Dr. Facilier who owned his shop in one of the darker alleyways of The Isle) was trailing behind her feet. He thought he should have more respect for such an accessory, but nothing stopped him from using it as a blanket on the colder nights, and neither did she. 

"I didn't really want to come back to see _them_ ," he offered, only adding _or you_ mentally. She barked out a laugh. "What the twins? Well they're asleep right now."

The two sisters came into his household to ruin his life about a year ago, making them a total of seven years younger than him. So by default they were seven years dumber too. And he hated them. Selling them away would have been stupid to suggest because no one would waste any goods for helpless children, but he was speechless when the woman seemed to be ignoring the fact that she could... well ignore them. Keeping them around was making his hell even more of a hell, and when he realized that he suddenly understood why she didn't abandon them.

But he had larger matters to worry about, although she hadn't mentioned anything yet so he dared to hope, just shrugged his shoulders and took off his shoes which were almost in shambles, about to slip away when,

"You think I forgot about the chores you have to do, boy?" 

She said it more cruelly than she had to, raising an unamused brow at first, but when he groaned in defeat and stomped his foot in childish anger, she smiled. It was a cruel tug of the lips, one that reminded him that she was anything but fit to be a mother. Whether she had the capability of caring was a great mystery to him, because no matter how hard she could ever try (although he was quite sure that she never tried), she couldn't shake off the almost fiendish aura that practically suffocated the air around her.

"You look scary when you smile," He commented, already making his way to the kitchen to wash the dishes that were a little too large for him to handle. At his little remark she scoffed and went silent, leaving him to take care of the remainder of his chores in silence. The silence was the sound that he was most familiar with. He didn't mind it much, it could be interpreted as peaceful on good days. But even he knew...

The house they lived in was far too silent to be inhabited by so many people.

The peace didn't last too long, because when he collapsed on his already collapsing couch she took a seat _next to him_ of all places, although it didn't come to a surprise. Whilst most children barely ever saw their parents or were simply abandoned, his mother was constantly trying to spend time around him even though he made it blatantly obvious that he didn't like her. Torturing him must have been a hobby of hers. 

A few minutes passed and he could still feel she was there as his feet were folded against her, so he opened his eyes just a little to find her staring at a mirror, her crow Diablo, resting on her shoulder. She wouldn't allow him to have a dog or a cat but a screeching crow that left his feathers everywhere was allowed. Go figure.

He closed his eyes again for his own sanity, unable to believe the vanity of such a woman. He was nothing but a slave to her, in his opinion. In any moment she was around, she was making him work until the skin of his hands started to break and bleed. She was the reason he loved running around outside so much, the freedom he felt as he chased the wind with another dozen kids was enough to keep him going through the hell they were all in. But sometimes, she acted a lot worse and far stranger than she normally did, so he was almost grateful for her attitude for the day.

"I met someone new today." He said, unaware if he startled her or not as he was too tired to keep his eyes open.

"I'm sure you'll scare them away soon, boy." She replied without missing a beat.

He shoved his feet into her hips before drifting off to sleep.

**-**

Izaya was fast asleep on the couch an hour later, and the woman that had long ago earned the title of _'Mistress Of Evil'_ picked up the mirror once more and shot a glare at the reflection, before trying for a smile again. 

"Honestly Diablo, _scary?_ Maybe intimidating or unnerving, but scary?"

The bird rolled his eyes.

"I wouldn't think my smile to be scary." She mumbled to herself, putting down the mirror and putting her head against the palms of her head, heaving a long sigh.

The wailing from the twins started moments later.

She groaned, almost childishly, but after a few moments she dragged herself away from the couch, and was about to exit the room after taking off her cloak and throwing it on Izaya's stomach without a semblance of grace. 

"Abandoning them is still on the table," Izaya mumbled drowsily, and she found herself stifling a laugh.

**-**

The blonde boy was already there when Izaya went to their spot the next day, almost stumbling down the little hill and slamming himself against the barrier in the process of attempting an awkward wave. And he was also there the day after, and the day after that, until their streak of meeting every day for a week turned into a month long streak without any sign of ever ending.

They didn't say much about their personal lives, just found ways to play even with the barrier between them. "Shizu-chan," Izaya called one day, excitedly pressing his hand against the invisible wall when he saw the other making his way out of the little forest which seemed to be growing a little larger every day, "I made something for us!" The aforementioned boy started running a little bit faster towards the barrier as a result of curiosity.

They had actually exchanged names not too long ago. Izaya first said that it was dangerous to tell someone your name, but Shizuo told him his own name anyway, and suddenly the name exchange felt like a challenge instead. 

_"I'm Shizuo of Avalon," He said while pressing his thumb against his chest, before scratching the back of his head, "Apparently that's supposed to mean something."_

_Izaya snickered._

_"Well I'm Izaya," He stopped and thought hard for a moment before giving an almost bashful smile, "Just Izaya."_

_"That's okay too," Shizuo had said, offering a smile of his own._

"So you know how we always sound muffled to each other?" Izaya started explaining while Shizuo looked at the contraption in his two hands; a device that consisted of two cups joined by a string. "Well with this we should be able to sound a little clearer. I read about it in a book," He continued, carefully finding the fault in the barrier and pushing one of the cups through. Then he put his own cup over his ear, and Shizuo copied him.

"Does it work?" 

When he spoke through it, Shizuo's eyes lit up a bit. "Izaya-kun, this is amazing!" The raven haired boy snickered at the compliment.

**-**

"That fuzzy ball in the sky you're always mentioning has a name, ya know."

The two boys were sitting down with both of their backs to the barrier, and Izaya's successful invention was once more in use.

"Really? What's it called?" He asked, the innocent curiosity foreign to his voice.

"The _sun_ ," Shizuo called it, and automatically, Izaya looked at the sky above.

"And it's not as fuzzy looking on this side of the barrier," He continued.

"Oh." 

An almost sad silence followed the revelation.

"Do you want to see the sun?"

The birds were chirping that song of theirs, and the breeze ruffled through his hair. With the barrier against his back, he could only wonder what it would feel like to actually be able to touch and rest against the boy he was talking to.

The villains had lost ages ago.

_Izaya was aware of this since the day he was born._

He was going to remain stuck on this miserable piece of land for his even more so miserable life.

_Izaya was aware of this since the day he was born._

"More than anything."

And he would give anything to see the sun.

_Izaya became aware of this at that very moment._

**-**

On one day, the two boys attempted a little experiment. They put each of their stretched out hands against the weaker part of the barrier which served as the portal that joined their worlds. Although neither hand could pass through, after a few clumsy attempts, their hands met in the middle. They were both speechless, looking at each other in awe at their brilliancy. Izaya's fingertips tickled at the sensation of simple touch.

"It's like we're dating," He said casually, while Shizuo's cheeks were instantly coated with a blush.

"HUH?!"

"Yeah," Izaya confirmed, clearly unaffected by his own observations, "How about you go out with me?"

The boy was joking, and he thought that that was blatantly clear, But Shizuo's reactions were a delight to observe. He was trying his best to fight off a laugh.

"Go out... like a date?!"

Izaya nodded his head quite seriously. "I'll be the boyfriend and you can be the girlfriend!"

Shizuo started stammering even more. "Why do I have to be the girlfriend? Maybe I wanna be the boyfriend!" He started, only meaning to defend himself, but instead making it sound like he wished to be the boyfriend of the raven haired boy. 

"Then we'll just both be boyfriends!" 

Shizuo was about to open his mouth again before catching sight of Izaya's smile and the dusting of pink on pale cheeks, the sound of a snicker at the end making it obvious that he was just being teased.

He pouted in defeat, the blush on his own cheeks serving as proof of his embarrassment, and he even averted his eyes and looked at the ground beneath.

Izaya's hand was still against his own.

**-**

"You can't come here anymore?" Izaya found himself asking the boy. The words seemed foreign to his own ears. 

The kid in question had his forehead resting against the barrier, eyes locked on the ground as if he was too ashamed to make eye contact.

"The forest is growing too dangerous... I already had to run away to come here today, cause my parents wouldn't let me."

Izaya frowned before shrugging it off.

"Well there's not much we can do about it," He sighed, and Shizuo looked up at him with a troubled expression. The raven haired boy sighed.

"Here, this will make you feel better," He said while taking his grand invention, and ripping the string apart. Shizuo stared agape at him as if he had just punched him in the face, while Izaya regretted not having any scissors. It wasn't cut in half at all; one of the cups had a string of medium length while the other had a much longer string. He took the one with the longer string and pushed it through the barrier, watched it fall down on the ground on the other side.

He rose a brow at Shizuo till the boy bent down and picked it up.

"Now you'll have something to remember me by," He said, his mouth already taking the shape of a toothy grin while he formed a fist with his hand and put it against the barrier. Shizuo did the same with his own, and Izaya felt the other's touch for the last time.

"Next time we meet, you're gonna take me out on a date," He said seriously, but his teasing was to no avail, as Shizuo wasn't flustered in the slightest. He had been prepared for the joke.

"No I won't," He responded.

"Fine," Izaya relented, "I'll take you out on a date instead."

A blush conquered Shizuo's cheeks while Izaya's snicker conquered the air.

They took one final nap together a little after, their sides resting against the barrier with both their hands still making contact in the small space between as they dozed off.

The sun was awfully bright on the afternoon of their farewell.

**-**

The years passed by a little too quickly, leaving the raven haired boy as a fuzzy memory in Shizuo's brain, and leaving Shizuo himself deciding on his first proclamations as the soon to be king of Avalon. 

The order itself was never a question to him, he had known what needed to be done for years now, and every time he stared out the window and was forced to look at The Isle he was reminded that he couldn't leave that island or the people on it in peace.

"So, Shizuo," He heard his father saying as he walked into his son's room, "Have you decided on your first order of business?"

Feeling like the weight of the world was resting on his shoulders at the age of eighteen almost made him throw up. 

"Yes," He said, saying the word with stubborn determination. His father who was a head taller than him, with broad shoulders and a beard that was a little on the unruly side completely lived up to his title of _Beast_.

"I want to give the children on The Isle a chance to live here."

As expected the man was at a loss for words, but something a little odd, something a little like relief, twinkled in his eyes.

**-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it isn't Sunday but I started working on this chapter early on and felt like these events belong in a chapter of their own so here it is. I'll still be updating on Sunday or trying my best to do so at least.
> 
> I also drew a map of The Isle and Avalon... it's a god awful draft but I'm hoping it will help everyone to understand the setting better. I'm a boomer with technology so I hope I'll find a way to attach it with the next chapter. So, see you then!


	3. In My Humble Opinion, This Is A Lousy Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shizuo wants to change the world and Izaya is salty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I made a thing called Threat Levels (I know, I know. It's super creative, totally unheard of). I think it's a pretty simple and sensible concept though, so I'll explain it as briefly as I can. All the villains have a particular Threat Level. Dangerous is the worst, Alert just means to be cautious around them and then there are the Unknowns. The younger kids on The Isle are given a Threat Level based on their parents. Since there is no magic on The Isle the people of Avalon have no way of knowing if any powers were actually passed on, but they just assume that they have been passed on.  
> The Unknowns are people with unknown origin and parents, so their Threat Level itself is completely unknown, hence the name of the Threat Level.  
> Villains that were really just henchmen that didn't stand out in any way don't have enough significance to have a distinct Threat Level, so anyone ranking in these three mentioned above are really bad news.
> 
> Happy reading my dudes.

The tension in the room was palpable, to the extent that even Shizuo who was quite the oblivious type noticed it. His father was silent while his mother's anger danced in her eyes while she tried to remain composed, even if there was no audience to judge them. Kasuka seemed indifferent. And Tom... well Tom picked the wrong time to come in with the tea.

"I'm sorry, is this a bad time?" He was asking politely with a nervous chuckle before exchanging a quick glance with Shizuo, his signature combination for telling him _'What did you do and why am I caught up in it now?'_

Tom who was the only son of Aladdin and Jasmine was a good guy and Shizuo's main sort of assistant from what he could understand, although the two were nothing short of best friends. Honestly no matter how hard he tried, he could never fit in this prince mold, and now he was supposedly going to be crowned King of Avalon within a few months. His younger brother Kasuka was way more cut out for this, the kingdom would have actually had a future with his brother calling the shots. But apparently his parents couldn't just skip him and hand the crown to his brother which he declared to be bullshit, but he didn't really have permission to say that out loud. Not that that stopped him.

Things just couldn't be changed. This was his life. He might as well suck it up and do something good with it.

"Do you understand what you're doing with this proclamation?" His mother asked, making the question sound more of a warning than anything else. 

Shizuo wouldn't have had much of a problem if he was talking to the press about this. With them he just had to state his reasons and keep his cool so as not to throw anyone at a wall. It would have been simple if it was the press. But this was his mother, a woman that was anything but simple. It's not that she was cruel or anything of the sort, in fact he considered himself to be lucky to have her in his life, but she was not to be trifled with. He couldn't talk to his mum the way he would speak with the press.

"I know what we're getting into mum, I understand it won't be easy," He started slowly, thinking about his every word just like he was always taught, "But with the necessary precautions, it will be a beneficial situation at the end of the day." That sounded good enough for him and Tom who had no idea what the conversation was about gave him an encouraging smile and two thumbs up from the doorway, but his mother was still looking at him with narrowed eyes. He crushed it, he thought. All she needed was one final push.

"It's not that this won't be easy Shizuo, this will be _dangerous_."

Just one final push. And in that short moment he remembered how the art of language and the way you use it could change the mentalities of others from black to white, and so in a last final effort at giving his thoughts and reasons sensible coherency he said,

"Did I mention that I love you?" in such a questionable tone that he made it sound as if he was questioning if he loved her at all.

"Shizuo!" 

He got smacked at the back of the head by Kasuka, and Tom in act of pure fear of what was about to happen next and self defense, put the tea set down on the floor and sprinted away. He got a chuckle from his father though, so it was nice to see that not everyone had lost their faith in him.

"I just can't allow you to do this sitting down Shizuo, I'm sorry. As King you have to look out for the safety of your people."

There was no room for reasoning.

_Looking out for the safety of my people, huh? As if we've ever been doing that._

From the dining room in which they were in, he could catch a peak of the window even if his father's frame was blocking the majority of it. But from the little glimpse he could catch he could still see it, that lonely, sad island. With all those abandoned people. And now he wasn't even competent enough to _try_ to help them.

_I am pathetic._

"Then I don't want to be King."

The silence that fell was suffocating.

"As Prince I feel like I have the obligation to help _all_ of our people. Including the people on The Isle. If as King I can only watch over Avalon, then I'm not going to be King."

This was the part where he would get disappointed looks from his parents before they announced that Kasuka should take the crown. He was sure of that with every fibre of his being. But while all of them seemed to be searching for words, except for his father who looked as if he had heard them a thousand times, he decided to continue.

"We can start small. I already picked out the four kids I want to start with. We can invite them as soon as possible so that they start the new coming school year with us. From there, we repeat until that damned island is close to empty."

His father was the first to speak, and with an odd element of enthusiasm in his tone, he asked the question that was on everybody's minds. 

"Who are their parents?" 

Shizuo scratched the back of his head.

"Well they only have one significant parent who is... let's say _gifted_ , so they aren't that bad if you look at the bigger picture."

The blonde was never the most reassuring person on Earth, and that showed in the way that both his parents were practically tensing up before he had even mentioned any names.

"Something tells me he didn't pick any of the lower Threat Levels," Kasuka commented helpfully.

"Well first there is Erika, Mother Gothel's daughter-"

"Threat Level: Alert; Parent has no significant magical powers but was still a force to be reckoned with,"

"Celty who goes by the name of the Headless Rider-"

"Threat Level; Unknown; Parents remain unknown as well as origin of person. Meaning we know close to nothing about their actual threat level,"

"Shinra who is the adopted son of Dr. Facilier-"

"Threat Level; Alert; In this case the boy is adopted so he shouldn't have any magical ability like Facilier, but he is still the son of a high threat level villain,"

"And Izaya, son of Maleficent-"

"Threat Level; Dangerous; Parent possesses significant magical powers which were possibly passed onto the child,"

"Kasuka you're not _helping_ -"

"I'm not _trying_ to help-"

"Both of you, shut up."

The two stopped at the order of their mother.

"I can understand the people you want to bring. But why Izaya? The son of the worst villain on that island?"

When making the list, Shizuo too wondered why the boy stuck out to him as soon as he had read the name. It was stupid to write him down and so he didn't. He looked through every other kid before realizing that he was going to drive himself mad if he didn't follow his gut. And in that very moment, he realized why he just couldn't let him go.

"Mum it's _because_ he's the son of the worst villain. If he could be saved, anyone could be saved."

At the sound of that, something in his mother's eyes changed a little. The disapproval that had been so clear on her face before dwindled, and she must have decided that she had nothing more to say. Kasuka from the beginning didn't seem to have any qualms on the matter, which would have been normally concerning but he was... well he was Kasuka.

"Honestly you couldn't have settled for fixing the old fountain as your first order of business?" 

It was his father who had said it, tone earnest accompanied with a pat on the back, Shizuo's snicker still audible even as the man left the room. His mum followed suit, the two had actual duties to attend to like press conferences and paper work thanks to his new proclamation that was soon to go public.

"I'm surprised dad didn't put up much of a fight at all," He mumbled, mostly to himself, but Kasuka who had been playing games on his phone the entire time rose a brow. "Really? The guy practically lit up when you made the suggestion."

"Yeah," Shizuo agreed, "But why?"

Kasuka sighed.

"I can't say this is anything more than a hunch, but I honestly think he regrets creating The Isle. Although when you think about it, there's not much else he could have done at the time. But he realized The Isle wasn't a full proof method of keeping villains in check because innocent people are now, suffering too. And he's been living with it for years. You really think he's gonna stop you when you're willing to change that?"

The reason why Shizuo admired Kasuka so much, was because of this. He had always been a silent kid with the same tired and indifferent look on his face, to the point that the slightest twitch of the lips or any display of emotion he put on was weirdly very expressive, almost in an animated way. But even though he seemed aloof and silent most of the time, without a single care in the world, he did care. And no one could read the people around him as well as he could.

"If he regretted it so much, why didn't he change it?"

The blonde could have sworn that he saw amusement tugging at his brother's lips.

"Come on," he chided, "Our father may be known as the Beast but we know better than anyone else... he's a coward."

Shizuo punched his brother on the shoulder lightly.

"That's mean Kasuka."

"Well you just assaulted me. That could have given me a contusion." 

_A Contusion?_

"I can already feel it swelling up."

"Wait actually?"

"I'm gonna lose this level because of you."

"You suck Kasuka."

"Well you're horrible."

Shizuo opted for peace instead of another retaliation, even though there was no actual heat to their words in the first place. The silence was sweet, accompanied by the almost rhythmic tapping of his brother's fingers against his phone screen, the occasional cheap explosion sound alerting him when his brother was getting that much closer to beating the level. Then without warning, the familiar _Game_ _Over_ tune rang in the air.

Shizuo suppressed a laugh and Kasuka punched him in the shoulder.

**-**

"So what was all that about?" Tom asked Shizuo once the two were able to catch up, hiding away in the prince's room while playing video games. It was the weekend after all and school hadn't started yet.

"Well they didn't like my first proclamation... _at first._ But I didn't want anything else but that so I stuck with it till they accepted."

"That's my boy," Tom said proudly before dealing the finishing blow, leaving Shizuo to frown at the large "GAME OVER" flashing in front of his eyes.

"So what was it?"

Shizuo sighed.

"To give four of the kids on The Isle of The Damned a chance to live here."

He despised losing after all.

"Eh?"

"I'm surprised I convinced them myself to be honest."

"Huh?"

_"Try Again?"_

The words flashed in front of him annoyingly, as if the game wanted to give him an epileptic fucking seizure.

He clicked on the large blue button saying _"Yes."_

"HUH?!"

**-**

The sky was bleak as Izaya allowed his gaze to deviate from the darkness of the alleyway, the wrist in his grasp shaking from the pressure he was putting onto it, his foot resting on the man's spine without a hint of mercy. The wall he was holding him against was grimy and disgusting, but at least he only had to look at the back of his head. 

Two crows passed by, confined in this cage just like he was, and they let out a series of loud caws, an almost beautiful but an unsettling sound nonetheless.

And beyond the barrier, he couldn't see anything.

"It used to be clearer," He said, and he could feel the man tense up, confusion apparent in every breath he took. Izaya must have seemed mad to him. But honestly, any completely sane person wouldn't survive a day on their miserable island.

"I could see the sun before. But then it got less clear," He pushed the man's spine further into the wall, "And less clear," He pushed harder, "And even less clear." He stopped so as to not break his spine, briefly wondered when Celty was going to arrive, because he couldn't really handle any more of his pathetic whining.

"And you know what happened to the sun? It went _poof_." He couldn't help but say it a little animatedly, although his companion might have not noticed since he seemed to be struggling for air. "You're not gonna die right? I won't get my payment if that happens," He mused, making conversation to fill the silence.

"Why..." The man gasped for air, and Izaya would have preferred if he just shut his mouth, as his croaky voice was quite displeasing, "Why are you doing this?" 

"Huh?" The raven haired boy felt as if he was explaining the obvious. "You've been stealing food from children for ages now. What, are you going to deny it now?"

A disgruntled sound. A rough inhale. Izaya found that picking his ear was more entertaining than keeping this guy in place. "No I mean, why do you care? Are you trying to play hero or something?"

He laughed a little at that, although it sounded bitter to his own ears. An image of a far away island with green grass and castles that touched the sky flashed before his eyes. He added enough pressure until his wrist bone cracked. A blood curdling cry filled his ears and he cringed at the sound of it. "No need to get so offensive, you know." He felt so tired. And bored. "Besides, I don't think I could ever be a hero."

_Too cruel._

"I'm just an informant whose doing my job. Besides stealing from children... deserves a bit of punishment, don't you think?"

The man remained silent.

"My friend is gonna pick you up soon."

"Then what?"

"I dunno. You're gonna have to face whoever you pissed off I suppose."

The screeching of tires caught his attention, and he smiled at the familiar sound.

"Wait, you're friends with the _Headless Rider?_ "

Izaya was a little annoyed at this. Everyone knew of Celty who was really just the delivery girl to their operations. _He_ was the guy tracking the people down and doing the dirty work, no one ever praised him. Although that would have been bad for business. As an informant he didn't really need people suspecting him. Then again, he didn't doubt that people would still have jobs for him to do anyway, whether that was getting valuable information or tracking someone down. The residents of The Isle were all quite petty, in his opinion.

"Hey Celty," He greeted, and she gave him what he thought was, a friendly wave. Wordlessly she handed him over the rope, clearly not having much time to whip out her PDA to have a little chat. He smiled a little as he remembered the antics they pulled off when they were younger on the guards at the dock until they relented and got them something that she could communicate with. "It went well, didn't even have to use my knives this time," He said a little cockily as he tied the man up securely. It was too easy, even if he was quite weak after Izaya dislocated a few of his bones.

"Ah. He passed out," He commented, and Celty hit him in the head after making sure there was a pulse, because Cruella De Vil requested for him to arrive alive and very much conscious. The sucker stole from her children without knowing. Izaya would have pitied him if he was bothered enough to care for such a pest.

"You're coming by our place after the delivery is done right?" He asked Celty after helping her lug the guy on the black motorcycle. She nodded her head just like she always did when that question was asked, and she was gone seconds later after her engine roared to life.

"Can't blame people for only noticing her. She's so cool." He mumbled as an afterthought, making his way out of the alleyway which looked like every other alleyway in The Isle; grungy, dull and depressing.

_"Are you trying to play hero or something?"_

_Too cruel._

_The heroes of their world were too cruel._

**-**

Izaya never knew why his household turned into a hangout spot for his mother and her little friends. She had been speaking with Gothel and Dr. Facilier for years now, hence why he was practically forced to get to know Shinra and Erika. Then the trio had met Celty who had been just wandering around The Isle at the time, and the three six-year-olds had very different reactions to meeting someone who was headless, the dark mist protruding from her neck making her look like the most eerie creature to ever exist on the island. Erika screamed and threw a rock at Celty which rebounded back as the mist formed a sort of shield, Shinra was fascinated and wanted to bring her back to his father so he could dissect her, and Izaya was curious. 

It was the first encounter between the four of them, and they were forced to see each other again after that anyway, with their parents meeting up and Celty trailing behind them. They found a yellow helmet with cat ears on top that was too big for her at the time, and made a wobbly tree house together which Gothel had to fix up that one time that she followed them to see that her daughter was surviving whilst in the company of two reckless boys and a headless creature. 

But none of that meant that _his_ house had to be shared with the lot of them. They would barge in and talk for hours, hence what they were doing right now. But at the age of eighteen Izaya learnt to not fight it, it was a waste of time anyway. At least now that Mairu and Kururi (his _precious_ twin sisters) were eleven years old, they were out of the house running through alleyways just like he used to do at their age. And no he wasn't worried that he would find them stuck in a ditch because he had asked Kida, the son of Jafar, who was their age to make sure that nothing happened to them. And he knew that the boy would do him that favor every time because for some reason, he liked Izaya. And he wasn't too annoying so the raven haired boy didn't mind it too much.

When he arrived home his mother was talking with Gothel over a cup of tea, Dr. Facilier was intently listening in to the mundane conversation while shuffling through his cards and Shinra was playing around with his science stuff that took them literal years to convince the guards by the bridge to in turn tell the suppliers to bring over. It wasn't much, just stuff like boiling tubes and flasks, but Shinra was enthralled by them, and Erika lit up a little when she saw Izaya walk into the room, as he was her saviour from the mad scientist's explanation about whatever reaction he was trying to do.

"How did it go?" His mother asked, even though everyone in the room already knew the answer from the way his mouth tugged into a little smirk. He took pride in his work after all. "Good... as usual," He added smugly, despite the fact that he accidentally let the guy fall unconscious, "Cruella said she'll give us one of her finest dog fur coats in return."

Erika gave him a look. 

"It was made back when she was still harassing puppies, it's not like I asked her to make a new one," He defended himself, a little exasperation in his tone. If Erika really didn't like the coat then it would end up going in the trash, and the literal _hours_ he spent on tracking down the guy would be wasted. Things would have been faster if he had some technology at his disposal, but then again, things would also be better if the barrier just collapsed on one fine day. "We can either make blankets from it or trade it for some Avalon goods. I doubt the guards are really gonna care if it was made by animal abuse since it was made like... two decades ago."

"Are you sure that woman will keep her end of the bargain?" Shinra asked, while Izaya took his knives out on the counter and started sharpening them by the use of a boulder that his friends helped him lug home when they were fifteen. "I dunno," He replied honestly.

"Something tells me she will," Facilier said, and everyone seemed to come to a silent agreement at the sight of the dozen folding knives that Izaya was going through, meticulously trying to arrange them in their assorted categories. The knives made no difference to anyone else, they could all slash and stab, but some were significantly more blunt than others, some could cut through muscle like it was nothing while others left everything messy. So he liked to arrange them and pick the best for the next job, which if he remembered correctly, involved dealing with the Evil Queen since she gave the Queen of Hearts a weird look. Cutting off her head was desired, so Izaya was going to politely decline the offer.

In his opinion, out of all the people in the room, Facilier was the one that stood out like a sore thumb, minding his own business, seated at the table just like he had been when Izaya first met him.

_"Didn't you die or something?" Izaya had asked, while watching the dark skinned man shuffling through his cards that had weird paintings on them like they were just an extension of his fingers. The smooth motion of his hands stopped momentarily, and he rose his brow in dull amusement._

_"Really boy? Did you ever see my corpse?"_

_Izaya grimaced. "Well, no."_

_"Then if you don't see a corpse, the person ain't dead," He said matter of factly, a slight lilt to the words as if to coax Izaya into believing every syllable that came out of his mouth._

_"Whatever you say old man."_

_"..."_

_"I ain't that old."_

So, with nothing better to do, Izaya decided to resort to one of his many talents; being the bane of everyone's existence. He strode over to Shinra, ignoring Erika and said, "Aw, look at you playing around with your little potions. You wanna be just like your daddy, ne?" He teased, while tilting his head in question. This obviously had no meaning to it, everyone in the room knew it to be a false accusation, but Shinra being himself just gave him a blank look instead of getting defensive.

"What do you mean? My dad's work is a joke. All he does is play with a few cards and some colourful potions- child's play. _This_ is _science."_

The statement was said so blatantly that Izaya's smirk turned into a more nervous twitch of the lips. 

_I have made a horrible mistake._

Facilier wasn't phased though, mustering his poker face and glaring daggers at Shinra.

"And I wanna know who started calling you doctor? Like, come on. _Doctor? Really?_ For stacking a few _cards?"_

Izaya's teasing was long forgotten, leaving Shinra to offend his father's work and title to his own accord. It would have been amusing if Izaya hadn't seen this happen a thousand times.

_I never learn, do I?_

The man who was frankly being roasted heaved a long sigh.

"Listen boy I give you _food_ , I provide _drinks_ , did you forget about the bed you rest your ass on?"

Shinra gulped, turning his gaze fractionally at Izaya, the look in his eyes saying, _'Whatever happens, it's on your ass'_ , while Izaya gave him an innocent look.

"So you better watch your mouth before I take away your little science kit-"

"Science kit?!"

"Oh look. A glass bottle," He said whilst picking it up and pretending to examine it.

"That's a conical flask," Shinra explained condescendingly. Without missing a beat, Facilier dropped the flask on the ground, the shattering of glass leaving Shinra's mouth agape and the man with a slight tug at his lips.

"DAD!" Shinra exclaimed; a sign that a new wave of whining was just about to begin. Everybody else in the room gave Izaya a look, which he responded with a shit eating grin.

**-**

"Those two are absolute _savages."_ Erika mumbled while glancing at the bickering pair which everyone was trying to ignore. They were thirty minutes in, only one more week of salty arguments to go. 

"Yeah," Izaya agreed, remembering that just yesterday Erika was burning what she called her mother's favourite collection of books because the woman had gotten rid of Erika's fluffiest sweater... _allegedly_. " _They're_ the savages."

Erika just hit him in the ribs with her elbow, effectively shutting him up for a good few minutes.

Celty arrived just a little later with a fluffy coat in her arms, and once she saw the two squabbling about, she took out her PDA and walked over to Izaya, the device asking him, **[What did you do this time?]**

His obnoxious laughter was the only answer she got.

**-**

"I'm sorry, the Prince wants us to _what?"_

It had been a busy and unusual morning for Izaya and his three friends. Celty returned to his house in the morning with letters addressed to the both of them, as well as to Shinra and Erika. This was normal for Celty. Her friends thought that she must have been born headless and with her weird tricycle that she carried around everywhere that quite literally grew up with her until it turned into a really cool looking motorcycle. 

And without a semblance of magic on The Isle, everyone was convinced that Celty's more magical components were just... Celty. But even for someone with such an odd nature, that had to drive to the port from where the guards were guarding the bridge and supervising the deliveries that were brought just so she could deliver those supplies to the main markets for the people, she never had to deliver letters before. And it was very strange.

The letters asked for them to go to the port immediately, as the guards had to announce some very important news. And the guards obviously didn't go find them themselves because The Isle was a scary place filled with villains. Izaya always found that to be a little humorous. Celty had offered to deliver the message herself of course, so as to not waste everybody's time with making their way to the port, but the news was just too important to be delivered by anyone but them apparently, so everyone's morning routine was disturbed.

In Izaya's opinion, he was the most understanding, and he abandoned his sisters and his attempt at making them breakfast immediately, only after Celty reminded him that they had to go as quickly as possible for the fifth time only, in fact. Shinra was annoying as expected, but after realizing that he got to have a morning walk with Celty, he played along. 

Erika was the most difficult. Gothel had to let them in to see that she was still sleeping in bed, drooling all over her pillows with messy hair. She complained saying that it was a Saturday when it was actually a Wednesday, and after claiming that they would just have to carry her there dressed as she was, Izaya found himself as the victim, and once more, had to do the dirty work.

The four of them were utterly hazardous, walking to the port at nine in the morning. With Shinra in his tattered lab coat trying to hold Celty's hand, while she jabbed him in the ribs with every other try. Celty herself was both menacing and ridiculous in appearance, and a disheveled Izaya was carrying a still sleeping Erika by giving her a piggy back ride, the aforementioned girl still in her pink-striped pijamas, with bare feet. They remained exactly the same since they had first met, a young Erika crying about her sprained ankle while Izaya gave her a piggy back ride home, Shinra too infatuated with Celty to really care about anything while the headless girl herself was at the ready to carry Erika once the raven haired boy got tired, even if she was nowhere near strong as the boy was.

That had been their very first _real_ encounter, after running away from their parents at the wise age of six and being left to their own devices. As a bunch of children interacting with strangers of their age, they didn't have to pretend to be something they weren't, and as a result the hill they were playing on observed four helpless kids bickering, crying and whining. Izaya swore that he thought Erika was too bratty, minutes before he had to carry her all the way home. After that she claimed that Izaya owed her piggy back rides for the rest of his _stupid life,_ as she had put it.

That encounter shaped their positions of everyone in their group, he thought. And when it boiled down to it, everyone was just really annoying in their own way, but they were stuck together till the end and none of them were going to allow that to change.

But change itself was inevitable, Izaya should have known this.

He wasn't ready for the news when they arrived at the port, nor when Celty gently slapped Erika awake and helped her down from her piggy back ride.

_'Prince Shizuo who will soon be crowned King would like the four of you to start attending school in Avalon, and therefore live there."_

It was Erika's loud outburst that snapped Izaya back into reality, the gears in his head already turning.

"You make it sound as if we already attend school here, when only half the population knows how to read or write." His tone pierced through the air like daggers, his face a void of emotion got the guards to shut their mouths with a nervous look, just as he had intended.

"Honestly, so polite of you to call it an _invitation,"_ he said sweetly, grateful that his friends were allowing him to speak for all of them. This came without the slightest warning, they were going to be forced to change their lives to live with the people they despised the most. The people that probably despised _them_ more. He couldn't show any of that though, he had to keep his mask on as if he was amused, entertained by such events, while knowing that soon enough he was going to be powerless.

But Izaya wasn't powerless _yet_. He took everyone's envelopes and held them in front of the guard until he took the hint and slowly took hold of the letters.

"This is so disappointing!" He expressed, wearing a lazy smile and exaggerating his tone of voice. "What a lousy invitation. I think I just might have to refuse," He mused, leaving the guards with their mouths slightly agape.

_As if I even have a choice._

His thoughts were bitter, but he would never let them seep into his tone. At this point, he could fool his friends with this bravado. 

"Unless," He continued, making the word sound as if it was a pin dropped in a silent chasm, "This _Prince_ comes over here and invites us himself." His tone was syrupy sweet, with a hint of mockery lacing the words because he knew that if he played his cards the right way he could get what he wanted. And that was to turn this guy into a joke.

He had nothing more to say so he started walking away, and just as he had hoped his friends followed suit. That left more of a bold, menacing impression, he was sure, even though Erika's attire wasn't quite fit for the occasion. 

"Oh," He said, as if he had just remembered something at the top of his head. He turned his head as he spoke so that he could give them one final glance from the corner of his eye, "And a personal invite from him at the port won't do. I want him at my _doorstep."_

They were gone after that, although their menacing aura didn't last for long. He was back to giving Erika a piggy back ride once they turned the corner since her feet were still bare and the ground was rough. She and Shinra were swearing profanities at the people of Avalon, the Prince especially, audibly wondering what kind of obnoxious piece of shit could have the audacity to do such a thing. Celty was walking quietly, her PDA clutched in her hands. 

Izaya was looking at the streets ahead of him grimly, his lips in a thin line as he thought about a new plan for his new life. _Fuck plans,_ he thought stubbornly once he realized that he had never felt more lost than in that moment.

**[How are we going to tell your parents?]**

Celty finally flashed her PDA in front of them.

Shinra groaned, before Erika asked if leaving quietly was an option.

Izaya was just about ready to make a run for it, before remembering that his favourite knives were on the kitchen table at home, out of reach from the greedy hands of his sisters.

The hazardous group of four were about to face their biggest challenge yet; that is, confronting their parents.

**-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just said that this will be thirty chapters long but I'm not even trying to estimate. Judging from the pacing of the story and where I want it to go, it might be longer, might be shorter, but hell do I know.  
> We don't mention the map I was supposedly gonna attach.
> 
> Also I'm posting this on saturday night and not sunday but please don't kill me.


	4. I Don't Trust The Limousine And Neither Should You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The colours are bright and the students are cheering, but Izaya wonders why the blonde in front of him is so familiar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update schedule is non-existent y'all.  
> 

Shizuo had never stepped into The Isle of The Damned before.

He never had much of a reason to, up until now, and no sane person was going to let someone so valuable from the royal family walk through such a dangerous place that was crowded with villains. Ever since he was a toddler he heard the same tales, with excruciating details of the terrifying things that the villains had done. When news got out that that one rumor was true, that those despicable people _were_ in fact having kids, the people of Avalon were shocked, and utterly disgusted.

He always listened to their stories quietly, his five year old mind forming images of greedy, notorious people that could never have the capability of doing any good, because the people around him told him so. 

He was the same as every other kid being brought up at the time, until one day, after hearing another story that started out with a _'Once Upon A Time'_ , like all the others during tea time, were everyone his age was busy eating sandwiches and sitting on comfy pillows in the castle gardens, he spoke up. "All villains are bad," He had said to himself, and before anyone else could have agreed, he asked, "But _why?"_ , in the most innocent, and curious tone.

No one answered his question the first time he asked it when he was seven, and people looked at him as if he was mad whenever he _did_ bother to ask it after that, so he stopped asking it when he turned twelve.

But now, that he had stepped into the island, because this Izaya kid had demanded a personal invitation, he felt his chest aching. He knew without a doubt that bad people existed, that's just how the world worked. But the buildings were in shambles, and the kids running around were covered in dirt, and too many people were sleeping against the sidewalk for him to think that this was a deserved punishment. 

The anger at his own people for abandoning this place would seep in later, along with anger for himself because he allowed it to get this bad in the first place. But for now he couldn't let the dull misery of the place get to him, for he was on a mission.

He was wearing his formal pants, a dress shirt and a tailored blazer, the shades of azure blue and canary yellow of his suit a stark contrast to the palette of the island, which had an uncanny resemblance to that of dust. He frankly found it sickeningly disrespectful to wear such fancy attire when the poverty of the island was so prominent, but it was official business, his parents had said, and he had to represent Avalon proudly. As if he could have a shred of pride after laying his eyes on this view.

They made it to what he assumed, was Maleficent's household. It looked over a small and empty plaza, and it looked more like a lonely, rickety castle than a house, Shizuo observed as he stubbornly made his way through the dozen guards that were looking after his safety. He didn't know what expression he should have been wearing when coming face to face with three of the villain kids and who he thought to be their respective parents. The one clad in a black latex suit with the yellow and blue helmet must have been Celty, and Erika, he presumed, was the girl with a friendly smile, patting down imaginary dust on her jet black cheongsam. Shinra was the boy with the crazy hair, who was looking at everything with narrowed eyes, although the dopey grin on his face made Shizuo wonder if he was glaring or if he just couldn't see that far beyond his nose. He immediately took a mental note to look through the science labs when he caught side of his tattered lab coat.

Their parents were all there, Gothel with her arms crossed, Facilier with a steely gaze, and Maleficent herself who looked effortlessly graceful in the most terrifying way imaginable. Her cloak was a rich black, the horns on her head didn't look as cartoonish as they had looked in the story books, and her crow, Diablo if he remembered correctly, let out a bone chilling caw. 

"Well, well, what a glittering assemblage Prince Shizuo," she said sweetly, like a bumblebee preparing to sting, and he could almost appreciate her ironic sense of humor, for the last time she had said those words, her actions that followed made them iconic. Normally, recalling that the woman in front of him had cursed an innocent child would have been enough to make his blood boil, but she had been surviving these conditions for years, and the papers said that she kept all three of her children instead of abandoning them, so he couldn't find it in his heart to be upset.

"Thank you," He replied, tone so sincere that it made Maleficent's cold blooded smile drop a little. Facilier choked on a laugh while Gothel's lips twitched upward, "I know I have no right to say this but it's my pleasure to meet you," He said, while going on his knees and reaching out his hand.

It must have seemed strange and down right wrong to everyone else, a _Prince_ bowing down in front of villains that had committed horrible crimes, but he kept talking, not really caring of the fact that his parents right now would be disgusted by his actions, "I'm aware that your past is filled with sins that can't really be atoned for," He was saying, without much of a hint of empathy, "But leaving your children to rot away on this island can hardly be atoned for either," he continued, about to ask if a truce could one day be possible.

After all, two decades in this hell might have been punishment enough for them too.

A steady hand took hold of his own, its intent only to pull him up, and the strength behind those slender fingers was almost a surprise to him.

"Get up boy," The _Mistress of Evil_ was saying with a short huff, her previous, almost enchanting bravado close to shattered, "It's not like you were the one that locked us away anyway," And then he was up, and for a moment he thought that her fingers were just shy of ruffling his hair, before her arm froze in mid-air, and returned by her side with a flourish.

He was shocked by how _motherly_ the way she handled him felt, and the way that their audience snickered, some of the guards included, made him realize that there was a sort of comradery between them. Even villains could make friends, he supposed.

And they stood their, Shizuo staring at the people that had terrorized the friends of his parents, without much peace between them, or understanding for that matter, but the mood had shifted completely than before, and he felt as if he could breathe. Except for Shinra, Erika and Celty, all of them were carrying a weight on their shoulder, faults that couldn't be forgiven so simply, and Shizuo knew that, but that didn't stop him from wishing that things were a little... _different._

"By the way, is Izaya running late? I thought he should be present to hear the personal invitation," he was reasoning aloud, making a point that in his opinion, was completely valid. But when he tried to meet the gaze of the boy's friends, they just averted their eyes, examining their shoes with increasing interest.

It was Maleficent, who filled the unsettling silence.

"He's not late. I guess he finally decided that he's not going to come," She explained, and Shizuo felt his jaw going slack.

"Huh?" He asked, question close to incoherent. 

Her green eyes almost glowed with amusement.

"Izaya isn't the simplest person to understand, I must admit, but if I had to take a guess, I would say that this is his way of challenging you, Prince Shizuo."

Her amusement was offensively conspicuous.

His confusion dissipated quickly, leaving room for the sentiment that he was most problematic for, the same sentiment that made his mother take him to anger management sessions where he punched a hole through the wall.

His fingers curled around that one metallic pipe that was protruding from the ground, the pipe that was clearly a safety hazard, the pipe that he was so careful to ignore when he first spotted it from the corner of his eye.

That same pipe was giving away to the force of his fingers, bending and snapping like a small twig, because even someone as oblivious as him could tell that this Izaya bastard had been planning this from the very start, all for the very sole purpose of humiliating him.

It's not the humiliation itself as much as the bratty intentions of the person that made him tighten his jaw and clench his fists till his knuckles went white.

He didn't process the weird looks he was getting, he didn't hear Shinra asking, "I know he's the son of Beast, so he has magical strength but uh... how is that working _here?",_ with a smile no less.

He didn't realize the guards sighing, the comments like, _"Here we go again,"_ or, _"Isn't it too early for this to happen?",_ comments that he had heard a thousand times throughout his life.

"We always suspected that there's nothing magical about that strength," One of the guards responded, "That's just Shizuo-sama. And pure, maniacal fury."

He never was good at controlling his anger, although he had gotten better at it, and few things made him lose control. Very few, petty actions, like this, made him reach his limit.

"IIII-ZAAAA-YAAA!"

The metal pipe in his fist is now ground to dust, and Shizuo briefly notes, that when he screamed the name at the sky, he couldn't see the sun.

**-**

Izaya had arrived at the rooftop of one of the many shabby buildings to hear his name being screamed out in rage, and as he looked at the plaza below from the safety of the building, his lips bearing a sharkish smile, he let out a shrill laugh of pure amusement. He watched as they talked for a few more minutes, observed as Shizuo started to make his leave, wondering what expression the blonde was wearing.

"I have challenged you, Shizuo," He said, more to himself than to the loneliness around him, "And in our world, you would be the one to come out victorious."

There is a reason why he was stuck on this island in the first place.

"Our world is a tragedy though," He continued grimly, remembering his sisters asking when the heroes were going to come to release them from the island, remaining silent throughout the years until they finally realized that it was the heroes themselves keeping them in their hell.

"And I'm going to change that tragedy."

The barrier was somewhat bleaker today, Izaya thought, as he remembered those sunlit days where he would sprint to the very edge of The Isle, while carrying two cups bound by a single string.

-

It was the eve of their departure, and Izaya found himself at the docks, staring at the rough sea that he never learnt how to swim in. It was early Spring, if he had calculated well enough, so the air was still cold and the waters weren't as calm as they would be in the Summer months. Not that he knew from much experience; The Isle never really experienced seasons, so all he could do was read about them, or stare at the snow on Avalon from his side of the barrier.

The night was a little chilly nonetheless, and just as he had hoped, there was the one guard on patrol that he actually did like.

"Izaya!" Tanaka greeted, the only one of the guards that didn't enter The Isle with a suit of armor, and the guy that made all their special requests possible, from Celty's PDA, to Shinra's nerdy stuff.

He was ruffling his hair when the raven haired boy was close enough, and Izaya was reminding him that he was too old for that now, before being himself reminded that you're only too old if you ever go bald.

They walked around the outskirts of the port, enjoying the silent company in the dim light of the lanterns and his torch. This wasn't their first time, because Tanaka was there when Izaya ran away from home crying at night, and he was there when Izaya wanted to talk about the new friend that he had made when he was seven.

But this time, he didn't ask if he could burrow his taser that he never used just for a second because it was cool, like he usually did, and he wasn't making casual conversation about the wretched things being sold on the market. So it was up to the middle aged man with the crew cut that he knew Izaya didn't like, to fill the silence.

"Tomorrow you're coming over to Avalon," He said, and Izaya hummed at the statement. The man stayed quiet after that, clearly waiting for a response.

"I suppose I am."

"Are you gonna cause trouble?" 

"Oh, Tanaka-san. What would give you the idea?" He feigned taking offense, innocent mockery lacing the question.

"I'd be surprised if you wouldn't," He said, to which Izaya laughed.

And then Tanaka gave him a weird look, one that Izaya couldn't understand, so he rose a brow in question, and the man somehow understood that he owed an explanation.

"You know Izaya, for all the confidence and flippancy you show, you always had this... I dunno," And then he was scratching the back of his neck, fumbling around with his fingers trying to put sense to his words, "Almost this... lost look in your eye."

Izaya went a little slack by the man's impression of him, not bothering to walk away or stop the conversation even if he didn't want to hear much else. He just let the guy go on.

"I think it dwindled for a little while," He continued, and Izaya wasn't really looking at him anymore, because it was much easier to gaze at the endless blue that wasn't visible in the darkness than at Tanaka.

"I just hope that one day, I won't see you with that lost look, you know?"

Three seconds of silence passed. Izaya had been counting, waiting until-

"Ah, but that's just wishful thinking. For now I want you out of my sight trouble kid. Go, shoo, you need your sleep," He tutted, lightly hitting him in the back of the head because he wasn't supposed to be there at such a late hour, especially when he had such a big day to wake up to.

His tone was taking up the enthusiasm that Izaya was so used to hearing, and he relented, turning his back to make his way home as he smiled at the man's energy which was annoyingly contagious.

"See you later, Tanaka-san," He drawled, sending off one last wave without looking back.

_'I just hope that one day, I won't see you with that lost look, you know?"_

He considered the words all the way back home, and he mulled them over as he stared at the rickety oak doors that had been wearing away ever since they were built.

"Me too," He mused out the response, almost too silent for his own ears to hear it.

-

Tanaka was still there hours after Izaya had left, the familiar patrol feeling dull and lonely, just like the island itself did, except for when the unruly youth came to wreck the supplies that arrived at the dock from time to time. That was happening less and less though, and he had the suspicion that the lack of trouble from their part was thanks to a particular raven haired boy. 

He sighed as he stared at the gravel underneath his shoes. 

He would have never thought, in a million years, that he would like the kid that was the son of the Mistress of Evil, Maleficent herself. That woman had no chance of redemption, he had said at the beginning of his patrols years ago. He changed his mind when he saw her there at five in the morning that one time, because she had a child at home that hadn't stopped crying because he was hungry, and so she left the crow to babysit while she dealt with groceries.

Izaya was a good kid. Or as good as a kid could get when they were raised on The Isle. And he still remembered those days, when the sun was still shining on the island, and the kid would come to talk to him with the brightest look in his eyes. He would blabber on about rocks of all things, and he would call the sun this fuzzy ball in the sky.

Back then, his eyes had been too bright for a kid of The Isle. 

And now, his eyes were duller than any eighteen year old's should have been.

But Izaya was a strong kid, he didn't need to be worried about. 

So he sent a prayer or two to the skies above, praying that Izaya would show some semblance of mercy on Avalon, before continuing his patrol in the dimmed light of the lanterns. 

After a few minutes, he realized that his taser had gone missing.

-

Arriving at Avalon was no easy feat, in Izaya's opinion.

It had all started too early, with him trying to sneak out of the house without waking up his sisters so that he wouldn't have to deal with their miserable sobbing. That was obviously an excuse for himself, in reality he didn't want _them_ to see _him_ tear up because sure, he _was_ going to miss them a tiny bit, and he wished to keep his dignity in tact.

He failed to do so, because when he opened his bedroom door, he found that his sisters had slept against it throughout the night because they were probably worried that he was going to leave without bidding them farewell. Izaya burst out crying and then threw his pillows at them when they started to wake up, furiously wiping away his tears to glare at them once they got the pillows of their faces.

His mother gave him a weird look in the morning, but she didn't say anything, probably because she didn't know _what_ to say really. He met up with his friends soon after, and alongside their parents they had to walk to the port, their commute oddly silent, although Erika and Shinra had a spring to their step.

Along the way, a distressed Kida ran towards Izaya and tackled him into a hug, asking why he hadn't come to tell him goodbye, but Izaya just called him a brat and told him to toughen up, because the kids were going to need someone to keep them in check. After he ruffled his hair, Kida seemed satisfied and ran off, and Izaya proceeded to scowl at anyone that was giving him a mocking smile.

Once at the docks, they were met with plentiful of guards, and a long black vehicle, which Izaya knew to be a _limousine_ , as he had read about it in a book. It was much more imposing in real life than it was in the sketches, he determined as some of the guards went to put their luggage in the trunk. 

"This is an _abomination_ ," Izaya said while Celty was fretting because she wanted to cross the bridge on Shooter, her motorcycle, to make sure that it wouldn't be left behind on The Isle.

The guards said that they couldn't allow that, but they also stated that no weapons were allowed, and Izaya still had about a dozen switchblades hidden in his attire and strapped to his body alone, and no one was going to take them away from him, even if anyone stupid enough bothered to try.

Nobody tried.

"So we just wanted to confirm you're the parents..." One guy was saying, almost drifting off as he looked at the three villains in front of him. He did, at the end of the day have to make sure that they were taking the right children to Avalon, and not some imposters.

"Do you guys have any proof that these are your children?" 

It would have sounded snobby, but the tone was so helpless and self-aware, that it sounded more like a genuine question than anything else. It's not like they had any ID cards on The Isle, after all.

It was Dr. Facilier who rolled his eyes and cleared his throat.

"Shinra, you're my son right?"

"Unfortunately yes," The boy responded, while examining the tires of the limousine at eye level.

"There you have it, proof."

Izaya couldn't tell if the guard wanted to laugh or cry, but what he did know was that his mother was probably going to forget to turn off the oven without him around to nag at her so that she wouldn't burn the food.

And that there was no way in heaven or hell, that he was about to enter that death trap of a vehicle.

-

Izaya did in fact, end up entering that death trap of a vehicle.

Its sheer efficiency was almost intimidating. The methods of transport on The Isle mostly included walking, crawling, and the occasional sprinting on exciting days or if you were bothering to run for your life. Very few people had motorcycles, and even then, The Isle with all its alleyways and its twists and turns wasn't the ideal place for driving in general.

It roared to life, and for a moment there he thought that they had been tricked, that their ride was just going to plummet into the ocean leaving them all to sink. But before he could break one of the windows to attempt at making as escape, a golden bridge was slowly, but gradually forming out of thin air, stretching out till it touched both The Isle and Avalon. 

Shinra was examining the supply of candy and chocolate in the limousine along with Erika, while Izaya stretched out his arms and legs, mindful of the spotless leather seats that he should probably be careful to not dent. Not that he really cared, because he was too busy thinking about what he should say to the prince once they met. First impressions were extremely important after all. 

Celty wasn't with them, but driving on Shooter behind them, and he envied her, because sitting uncomfortably on that motorcycle with stale wind in his hair as they zoomed across dangerous alleyways of The Isle was familiar, and this... well this wasn't.

"I can't believe we're gonna have to attend _school_ now," Erika said, pulling Izaya out of his stupor. "What are we even gonna study there? Do we have to get jobs?"

"I'll be honest, I'm not sure. But I've been reading, and the word going around is saying that the majority of the people of Avalon will be going to work in the other continents to get a more normal job. I mean, we can't stay on these islands forever... one day the two islands will probably belong to the richest of snobs and any villains that haven't died out yet, while everyone else will be out in the more... real world I suppose," Izaya explained as best as he could from what he could remember from what he read. Everyone knew that The Isle and Avalon were secluded islands of course, but the concept was still a little difficult for anyone of them to wrap their head around.

Two decades ago, Beast had decided to gather the more magical people, both good or bad on the two islands. And that contained a number of major kingdoms, like that of Repunzel, per say. The rest of the world moved on and developed without them. Even their economy was a lot different than their own many opting for capitalism and governments and all that while their islands had a monarchy at first glance. Although Avalon did have a democracy of some sorts as there was a council of representatives from every kingdom, with Beast obviously at the top.

The rest of the lands did have to acknowledge them in some aspects though, as they did give funds to Avalon since it was practically responsible for the making of a high security prison that kept some of the most dangerous people to exist locked out.

"Oh yeah, the outside world and all that... they don't like their magic, do they?" Erika asked while rubbing her chin, and it was Shinra who chimed into the conversation, "Yeah, cause they have _technology_ , and _science_... and colleges and stuff. What are we even going to be studying for? We can't do much jobs here except for opening a restaurant or becoming a guard for royalty or something."

"So you think you'll leave the islands?" Erika wanted to know, the question sounding a little troubled.

"I'm not sure," Shinra supplied a little too nonchalantly, that lazy smile inappropriately present, as usual.

"Well the people that come after us definitely will. As for us we're stuck in the middle of the transition. Magically gifted people are mixing with people that are close to completely normal so eventually magic will die out, and we won't be able to go on like this. Or at least, that's the prediction, we'll see results in the next decade or so. Next thing you know, the great great grandchild of Cindirella will be an entomologist or something," Izaya explained, a small smile on his lips at the funny thought.

A world without magic, where dramatic villains and stupid heroes were long forgotten.

A world where The Isle of The Damned and Avalon were ancient history.

It was that impossible world that Izaya yearned for. 

One day, years from now, it would come to be. It would probably take a few centuries though. And Izaya would be forever envious of the generations that would get to enjoy that reality. Until then, he left it upon himself to give the people of Avalon hell.

"Magic would never die out as long as the Fairy Godmother's wand is around, idiot," Erika teased, sticking out her tongue at him childishly.

"Then we just wait till someone snaps the wand in two," He reasoned simply, but Erika just scoffed, as if to tell him _'Like that's ever going to happen.'_

"Besides, Izaya-kun, _what_ have you been _reading?_ Where did you get all of this from?" She was asking accusingly, but he just smiled innocently.

"Even The Isle has its underground Erika-chan, it's not my fault that you're the only one of us that isn't involved with it," He teased, mirth dancing in his eyes while she pouted.

And it was true, he was an underground informant, Shinra had been dabbling in it although Izaya wasn't sure what the hell he was doing, and Celty... well Celty had ties with every important person in the entire underground system.

"Yeah but to say you work underground would be an understatement Izaya... you're like _below_ underground."

It was Shinra who spoke, but Izaya just gave them a sharp smile, remembering the latest documents that Shiki had been giving him in the past few years.

Shiki was a man to not be trifled with, and he gave Izaya valuable information about the outside world as long as he did a good job and kept quiet, so the raven haired boy had no qualms with the man.

The limousine was now off the bridge and on Avalon Island, Izaya could tell from the view of his window, which was so colourful, that he had to focus his gaze on his lap before he got dizzy.

"Oi, why are you still driving? Didn't we make it?" Izaya decided to ask their driver, who had been separated from them with the use of a black screen.

"The Castle and dorms are on the other side of the island. First we have to make it through the forest, Royal Hill, and the small village with the main markets until you guys are finally on campus," She explained as the black screen was lowered till they could see their driver, with her azure blue uniform, and brunette hair in a high ponytail. He could see that she had a light smile on her lips and a few freckles across the bridge of her nose and her cheeks, thanks to the rear view mirror.

"So kid, I'm surprised you know so much about the rest of the world," She said, a sort of pep lacing her tone that Izaya wasn't familiar with. "You know, I'm usually there most of the time. I only came here since Prince Shizuo was doing this entire proclamation. I wanted to help the guy out, so when I got the news by _bird_ no less, I was on a boat ride to get here."

Shinra was gaping like a fish. 

"You've been out there?! How is it?!"

Erika slapped him in the arm, scolding him for his lack of manners, but she was ignored and their driver was giggling at their antics.

"Well the technology their is way more developed than here, I can tell you that much. Then again the rest of the world doesn't have magic... it was a smart idea for Beast to separate the two worlds all those years ago, I'll tell you that. If he didn't, there would be complete chaos, I like to believe."

"What does the rest of the world think of us?" 

The question was off his tongue before he could even taste it, but his curiosity had gotten the best of him.

"Well, they're pretty darn happy that they're separated from here. But they think this place is important."

"So they _do_ think that it's right that the villains are locked up and that the people of Avalon are like our watchdogs," He summarized, bitter amusement in his tone. People were awfully selfish these days. He should've known as he himself was notorious for being awfully selfish.

"Pretty much, but I say screw the rest of the world. You guys are innocent at least and that's all that matters. Prince Shizuo is clearly seeing it that way, it's only a matter of time until the rest of the world has to open its eyes and except it for what it is."

"How inspirational you are," Izaya started, already wanting to tease even though the words provided him comfort. He drifted off, wondering what he should call her as he didn't have her name.

"Don't get smart with me kid," She quipped, albeit a little playfully, and he responded with an impish grin to which everyone rolled their eyes at.

They spent the rest of the ride chatting about Avalon itself, and she explained that they would be living in a boarding school, and that Royal Hill was the hill where all the major and minor castles were located, including the castle of Beast and Belle who were basically the top dogs of the island, and that's all Izaya needed to know. 

The boarding school was further away on the other side of the village outskirts, and it was as large as a castle, she explained. Another forest was near it, but it had grown so unruly that no one bothered to go inside it, except for the best blacksmith on the island, who had built his cottage in it. Then there was the Museum that had all the magical artifacts, like Maleficent's Sceptre and the Evil Queen's Mirror. They were once powerful weapons that were now used to fill up the empty space in display cases. Izaya found the thought to be amusing.

The limousine had finally come to a stop just a little off campus, where they were reunited with Celty and a dozen guards that started to carry their luggage towards the castle and to their respective dorms. 

Their driver bid them good luck and farewell, and it was just the four of them again, completely lost in every possible meaning of the word. All they really had to do was follow the onslaught of guards that were surely heading to the entrance of their school though, were Prince Shizuo was surely waiting for them, he thought.

Izaya took a deep breath and tilted his chin upwards, and was met with the endless blue of the sky.

The sun was blinding.

-

They were at the front of the school within minutes. And all of them were speechless.

The building itself was a wonder to look at, touching the all blue of the sky, but stood firmly on the floor, patently built with sturdy bricks that were identical, instead of the rubble that they were stacking on top of each other back at The Isle.

These guys had prodigious windows that showed glimpses of views that Izaya would probably never get tired of seeing.

The front of the school was nothing to scoff at either. It was practically a large overgrown garden, with perfectly planted flowers and a fountain in the middle, that had water that was sparkling in sunlight. The patios leading to the main entrances were filled with people welcoming them; all students about their age that were dressed in colourful and well tailored dresses, and pants and shirts.

Izaya had a feeling that they were slightly under dressed for such an occasion.

Shinra was in a lab coat that was far beyond repair. Erika had sown it together again and again until there was not much else she could do to fix it, but he wore it anyway. Celty at least looked cool even if she didn't fit in, with her spandex black suit, and her helmet. Erika's cheongsam wasn't too bad even if horribly dull in colour. Izaya himself was wearing an outfit that he was quite infamous for; pants, a black sweater and a thin, fur trimmed jacket that they had found in the junk yard that one time. He liked it so much because it was easy hide his switchblades with the use of the jacket. And one time his sisters told him that when he ran, it _swooshed_ behind him like a cape, and capes were cool according to them.

The students were all cheering, and there was a band playing in celebration. But Izaya could tell that some smiles were forced, uneasy. Some almost indifferent. Others were annoyingly pure.

From the distance, Izaya could see someone approaching. Someone, who he could only assume was Shizuo. The Prince.

The cheering increased as the blonde approached. There was nothing special about him. His hair looked awfully soft and somewhat shaggy like he had rolled out of bed and didn't care enough to arrange it. His skin was sun kissed, and he was about a head taller than Izaya. There was nothing special about him. 

_So why..._

"I wish you all a warm welcome to Avalon from the bottom of my heart," He was saying, tone disgustingly genuine as he gave them all a smile, although Izaya could tell that he wouldn't meet his gaze for long. Probably all of Avalon knew by now that Shizuo had been stood up by the guy that had demanded the personal invitation.

"This is a momentous occasion, and with your cooperation we can help a lot of innocent people,"

He was shaking hands with Celty, followed by Shinra, and then lingered a little with Erika's handshake.

"I trust that we will all be doing our best to get along."

The cheering in the background stopped when Shizuo made it to Izaya though, and the smile that was on his lips before fell immediately. He scrunched his brows together, glared right at Izaya, clenching his hands into fists.

_Why..._

"But you..."

His tone wasn't as loud as before, it felt much more private and intimate. Although, with the silence that there was, one could hear a pin drop.

"I don't like you."

There was a certain honesty, a childish lilt to the word that Izaya couldn't help but find amusing.

_We never met before..._

He tilted his head upwards without missing a beat and flashed him a smile, one that felt sharp enough to cut his own tongue. An almost cruel mirth danced in his eyes as he felt the sun on his own skin.

_So why the hell do you seem so familiar?_

-

_"Shizu-chan."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Do you think we'll always be friends?"_

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure I proof read everything but I dunno at this point. Super sorry for any grammatical errors or anything else, I'll get around to correcting it eventually... right?
> 
> Also they finally met  
> :smiles:


	5. What Do You Mean, I Have To Do School Work Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Izaya is running away from Shizuo while remaining mindful of the flying projectiles, he believes that he has found his new playmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this quarantine is great

Throughout his life, Shizuo could name all the two times that he had been rendered breathless. The first time had been years ago, and the second time had just happened, when he caught a glimpse of Izaya as he was about to walk over to welcome him and his friends to Avalon.

It only happened for a fleeting moment. In that instance when he had just exited the school doors, and the crowd was cheering loudly, and his eyes were still adjusting to the view of the sun. For that instance, Shizuo saw Izaya for the first time. A boy with pale skin and an almost lanky frame. His dark raven hair with strands that went every which way. His blood red eyes were almost glinting in the sunlight.

_So you're the petty bastard that I have to deal with._

His first coherent thought was masked with a bright smile, because he had learnt the art of _smiling through the anger_ , just like his mother had taught him. Besides, his parents were also present, obviously, but it was Shizuo who had to introduce them first, and he really couldn't mess this up because he had been waiting for this moment for years.

He thought that things had been going quite smoothly. Everyone from his side was cooperating, whether they had to simply smile and cheer, or play their assigned piece in the band.

Shizuo liked three of the villain kids at least, or that's what he decided once he got close enough to have an interaction, even if it was small. He could only think of the word _cool_ as he shook Celty's hand, and his smile got a little wider at Shinra's overenthusiastic handshake. Erika was bubbly, even friendly in her mannerisms, and he wished he could stop there, and not even look at the last guy that remained.

Shizuo didn't want to so much as glance at Izaya because he knew he couldn't pull of a lie with him, knew that his smile could only stay up for so long. He already felt bad, pretending to be so polite and formal with the others as if everything was fine, like they didn't have any bad blood between them. He despised that fake bullshit, but he had to go through with it so that at least there was a sort of new beginning between the new generations for the public eye to see. At least that's what his mother had said.

_"I don't like you."_

All his internal struggles came to a stop when his gaze met Izaya's. There was no feeling sick to his stomach and downright dirty about the situation, and there was no reminding himself that he was a Prince. It was just him, and the scowl at his lips.

Izaya reacted without missing a beat. He shot him a wayward smile that promised mayhem and mischief till the end of their days. 

"What a shame, Shizuo. And here I thought we could've had so much fun together," Izaya drawled, tone saccharine sweet with mockery. 

Shizuo wanted to punch his face in. He really, _really_ did.

"Hmm, _Shizuo_ ," Izaya repeated, tasting the name on his tongue, not bothering to keep his tone quiet, "I don't like that, it's too formal. I need a nickname for you... any ideas, blondy?"

Shizuo thought that he really would have punched Izaya at that moment, if it weren't for the hand that he felt on his shoulder. He took a deep breath as he met the expectant gaze of his parents, feeling a little better that a lot of the crowd started to disperse to get settled in at the school. Tomorrow was going to be their first day of the rest of the school year after all. 

"These are my parents, Beast and Belle," He introduced, almost tiredly.

"You're _scowling,_ Shizuo."

He froze for a moment. Blinked once. Blinked twice. Izaya had a cheeky grin on his features, eye brows raised in what seemed to be amusement.

"What, are you my _mother_ , Izaya?"

His tone was so discomposed. Incredulous even.

The majority of the people in the group, save for Shizuo who was somewhere between dumbfounded and kicking Izaya in the shins was laughing or bothering to stifle it. Izaya's lip was twitching a little.

The raven haired boy was about to quip back before receiving an almost stern look from Belle, and like the bastard he was, he smiled politely, innocently. 

"Shizuo, get going. You have to give them their schedules and a tour of the school as well," His mother was already nagging at him, but he just nodded briskly, and started leading the group towards the building, where Tom should have been waiting for them in the foyer. The tour was tasked to him since he looked like he was going to shit himself once it was confirmed that the villain kids _were_ coming over, so Shizuo thought it would be good to put him in charge of the tour.

Tom showed his appreciation by dousing Shizuo's favourite controller in a cup of water.

Their journey to the foyer wasn't successful though. It turned out that everyone was too busy getting to know one another, making his mother a hypocrite for telling him to get moving when she was too busy talking with Erika about clothing fabric if he could hear correctly.

His father was staring through Celty's helmet, squinting his eyes as if to see for himself if she was headless, while Shinra was asking an abundance of questions and follow up questions such as, "So you can't turn into a beast anymore?", and, his personal favourite, "Are you hairier than average male adults?" 

"Idiots," He heard Izaya mutter under his breath, and since he had been standing so close to Shizuo, he could see that small, almost _fond_ smile on his lips as he looked at his friends.

"Well Shizuo, it looks like it's just me and you buddy," Izaya said, swinging his left arm around the blonde's shoulders. He twitched at the contact.

"I don't like you," He repeated feeling oddly conflicted because the kid was such a charmer, almost _endearing_ sometimes, but it was so blatantly obvious that he was up to no good. He literally couldn't relax from the moment his eyes fell on him.

"As you've already stated," Izaya commented, with an impish grin; a pull of the lips that left Shizuo on edge.

"Come on, I'm bored, and I wanna see my dorm room," He demanded while pulling at Shizuo's sleeve, making a successful attempt at dragging him away. 

"Wait, hold on, we have a tour ready for you guys. You're gonna need it if you wanna learn how to navigate through the school-"

 _"Boooring,"_ Izaya drawled petulantly.

"So you're just not gonna go to the tour then?!" He all but sputtered out the question.

"Nope, cause you're gonna show me my dorm right now," Izaya explained as if it were obvious.

"I hope you will never be able to find your way to the bathroom then."

"Even when I have diarrhea?" 

_"Especially_ when you have diarrhea."

Izaya laughed and Shizuo scowled, biting his tongue as he remembered the razor edge of Izaya's smile. He felt uneasy, and he had been dealing with that underlying feeling ever since reason caught up to him. 

But although he didn't want to admit it to himself, there had been a moment, when his eyes were still adjusting to the brightness of the sun. For a little less than a second he looked at Izaya, the boy with a lanky frame and pale skin. And dark messy hair. And bright red eyes.

He thought that he knew that boy.

Thinking back he summed it up as a trick of the light.

-

To say Shizuo felt uncomfortable when he was left alone with Izaya in close quarters would have been an understatement. He was so agitated that he could barely function normally because every instinct that he had was telling him to get away from the boy. And no, it was't because he was the son of Maleficent, or because he was _scared_ of Izaya. But it was like the guy was a ticking time bomb; easy going one second, and then demon spawn the next.

He had no proof to back this up though, except for a mischievous smile and a tone that only knew how to tease. So he tried to maintain his composure, crossed his arms, and didn't keep his eyes off Izaya as he looked around his dorm room.

He thought that they were pretty nice rooms. Izaya's room was next to Shinra's, and Erika's and Celty's were opposite of theirs so that the four could easily remain in contact with each other. Then again, he didn't want them to be secluded from everyone else so he made sure that the dorms of other people were close enough to theirs.

His own dorm was a few corridors away though, and he was suddenly all too thankful for that layout as Izaya put his hands on his hips as he looked around disapprovingly.

"This room is _horrendous,"_ He said, while examining the drapery of the curtain from up close, "I hate everything about it."

He clicked his tongue childishly, and Shizuo felt like he was dealing with a five year old that didn't want to shut up and drink his orange juice during the weekly story time session he helped Vorona out with.

In his opinion, Izaya was completely overreacting. There was a large window with white curtains that let the sunlight in, and a twin bed with azure blue covers. It had all the basics; a desk, a chair, a wardrobe, and enough space to customize it to make it feel like your own room instead of just some standard dorm. Why Izaya was whining about it, he wasn't sure, but he decided to humor him for the hell of it.

"What, so you want me to fire the guy that was in charge of decorating these rooms just cause you don't like the decor?"

"No," Izaya responded easily as he tilted his head so he could look at Shizuo from over his shoulder, "This deserves far worse punishment than that," He determined as he grimaced at the rug underneath his feet.

"Like what?" Shizuo asked, while the threat of an amused smile tugged at his lips.

"Castration." He mumbled once he caught sight of the design of the lampshade that was innocently sitting on the bedside table, "Definitely castration."

Izaya nodded his head a little as he claimed his verdict, tone utterly serious, contrasting Shizuo's chuckle which he practically choked on in attempt to hide that he wasn't having a horrible time.

"Oh come on Shizuo, admit it. You love my company," Izaya drawled, an easy smile pulling at his lips as he turned around to face the blonde. Shizuo barked out a bitter laugh.

"You smell like shit and you keep me agitated. I definitely don't like you or your company."

Izaya bothered to raise a brow.

"I smell like shit? What, are you a dog, Shizuo?" 

The man in question scowled because it was true, Izaya had a weird sort of scent and he didn't like it, because it was one of the many things that was screaming at him to be careful. He was dealing with someone smart, someone who had orchestrated an entire plan just to intimidate Shizuo, and he did it within mere seconds, he was sure. And he couldn't just lash out at him because he was the _Prince_ , so the most he could do was stay away and avoid him. But Izaya clearly didn't want to be avoided. And he seemed to be the type of guy to always find a way to get what he wants.

"Listen. I don't know what your deal is, but I know trouble when I see it. You're definitely not here to be friends with me, so might as well drop the act." 

Izaya's smile would have been enough to make the devil uneasy.

"Oh, but Shizuo, I thought _you_ were the one that invited me here in the first place. And you won't take responsibility for your first proclamation? What a King you'll turn out to be."

Every word he said was like the edge of a knife, sharp and aimed to draw blood. But this should've been nothing, Izaya was only trying to rile him up.

"I just know you're up to no good," Shizuo elaborated, and already turning his back to get the hell out of the room before,

"Oh _poor_ Shizuo. Having to deal with a guest that he doesn't like."

The words were so suffocated with mockery and condescension that he couldn't even bring himself to ignore the childish taunt. Because it wasn't childish. As he turned to face Izaya he could feel the bitter weight that those words held.

"You know, I was fully aware that this was never really an invitation as much as it was an order from our ever so humble Prince. You so kindly asked us to leave our homes and abandon our people to live it up in a boarding school with people that see us as rats. As if we were the ones that imprisoned them for years to leave them to rot away. So I should apologize for my bad manners, and for getting you all agitated,"

Izaya's smile returned, sharkish and cold,

"Your kindness knows no bound, _beast."_

Shizuo could only glare at Izaya as the words sunk in. He took in a deep breath, counted to five. _'A Prince never loses his composure,'_ his mother had told him, time and time again until he knew them better than his own name. He forced a smile to his lips and endured the disgust that he felt towards himself.

"And here I thought that I was making the right choice," He joked, and it tasted like bile on his tongue, and the blank expression Izaya gave him just made it all worse.

He couldn't show he was frustrated, he couldn't show he was a human being that was terrified of messing up. He couldn't show he was guilty that he was hurting the very same people that he desperately wanted to help. And he couldn't even slap the bastard in front of him in the face for being so right about everything. Because those weren't the _appropriate mannerisms of royalty._

Shizuo left the room without another word, not knowing where to go or who to talk to, because he was a prince, _a leader,_ and good leaders don't feel lost or helpless. They didn't go bickering about their problems. So he was off to the training grounds, which he hoped to find empty.

-

Izaya clicked his tongue in annoyance once he realized Shizuo wasn't going to re-enter his dorm.

He really thought that Shizuo would just lash out or start shouting, judging from how pissed he was getting from the cheeky smile he threw at him back when they where still outside, even though yes, he was smiling with the full intent to piss the blonde off.

This entire prince thing was killing him, and that was an undeniable fact. He was holding himself back with every word he said, except for that first _'I don't like you',_ which Izaya was able to bring out by being a pain in the ass.

The guy was living in a hell of his own, Izaya realized, and was utterly frustrated by that, because he wanted to be the one to defeat Shizuo. But the idiot wasn't even going to let Izaya have that much.

"This isn't over beast" He mumbled as if Shizuo could hear him.

 _"Beast,"_ He repeated as he started unpacking his luggage which the guards had already brought to his room beforehand,

"Now _that's_ a nickname," He thought proudly as he threw a switchblade at the wall. 

The room _did_ need some redecorating, after all.

-

Tom didn't think of himself as a bad guy, so why he was in charge of the tour, he really didn't know. 

The three were a mix between evil incarnate and literal children in his opinion, (although the former might have been a little extreme) and all he wanted to do was run away before anything bad could happen.

Although, it really couldn't get much worse, he thought as they arrived at the courtyard.

They started off on the wrong foot, with Shinra deciding screw his schedule, and demanded to be taken to the science labs. On the way there they lost Erika who had gotten bored and decided to explore on her own, and Celty just wanted to park Shooter, which was her _motorcycle_ apparently, in a safe place. 

Two hours had passed and they finally got to the end of their tour, where the three proceeded to harass him about their timetables and asking him if they could skip classes for the hell of it, while all he really wanted to do was enjoy his juice box. And he of course realized from the beginning that Izaya was missing because he saw the guy dragging Shizuo away by his sleeve, and he was praying, _praying,_ that he wouldn't turn the corner to see his temperamental best friend fighting a fire breathing dragon.

"You know, you're not as stuck up as I expected you to be," Erika commented as she playfully punched him in the shoulder. He responded with a confused _'Thanks.'_

But sadly his job wasn't done. He had been observing Shinra for a while, the way he squinted at everything and how he nearly collided against every wall, although it would have been a little difficult to notice unless you were really paying attention. 

"Hey Shinra," He started begrudgingly, and the guy turned to look at him with that smile that was always plastered on his face. He gulped.

"You need glasses, don't you?"

-

The first week was passing by excruciatingly slow, in Izaya's opinion. He had classes now, along with another 15 or so people, and his friends, which he was grateful for, although he would never admit it. It was surprising that they didn't need a special curriculum since they never really attended school on The Isle before because obviously, there was no school on that island.

But they did know how to read and write as well as everybody else, and the teachers thought it better that the four of them suffered with school work and catching up than being outcasts from everyone else, so they had to suck it up and deal with it. 

Classes were interesting, in his opinion. Shinra just stared and smiled blankly at the wall as he had claimed that he was blind for the first two days, but then he received his glasses after the eye test, and became annoyingly good at chemistry and biology classes. Clearly all those years of reading and wasting away with those books managed to give him the upper hand.

Celty intimidated everyone at first, but people got used to her pretty quickly and thought that she was really sweet, and most importantly, _really cool_. Or at least that's what Izaya gathered from the conversations that he had _accidentally_ overheard. Erika didn't have the slightest trouble fitting in, and she hit it off with this one guy called Walker who had asked her if she watched anime or read manga.

They even had new clothes now, and Izaya opted for jeans, a red sweater and a black leather jacket, which he doubted was actual leather. Sometimes the two layers didn't provide him enough warmth, and he didn't bother getting any of his long sleeved sweaters from home because a few weeks ago he had calculated that it was Spring. Eventually the weather would get warmer.

He was wrong.

It was Autumn.

It was cold.

And he was fussy about it.

He was also upset about the fact that he had to spend late evenings with his friends; normally the four of them would hang out in Celty's dorm as it was the cleanest, and they would all attempt to help each other at the homework or work in silence for a bit before asking the conundrum of the evening. It's not that he didn't like spending time with his friends of course, but that left him with barely any time for himself. Although the teachers would get grumpy and irritating if he didn't do the work, and his chemistry professor didn't take it well when he said that he spent the previous evening focusing on some ' _Me Time',_ as he had called it, instead of doing the assigned project, so he didn't have much of a choice.

He didn't do anything dramatic in class. He made small talk with the professors, smiled politely when some of the girls came up to talk to him, and jotted down some notes during the lesson because he had nothing better to do. And he spent hours wondering what he _should_ be doing on Avalon; if he should just go with it and abandon his people or if he should actually _do_ something.

Was he really going to be able to continue his life as if the past eighteen years had never happened? 

His future seemed somewhat bleaker than it used to.

-

By the end of the week Izaya was tired and he hadn't as much as looked at Shizuo even if he was in all of his classes, so he set out to find him. 

Maybe he regretted not going to that tour. Just a little. But he wasn't going to admit that any time soon. 

After a few minutes of wandering around he made it to the back of the school which seemed to look like a training ground of some sorts. It had a race track that went beyond the eye could see, a bunch of dummies to attack (he assumed), and an assortment of swords, and foils, and other pointy, shiny objects that he didn't know how to use.

He smiled in amusement when he spotted Shizuo hacking away at a dummy, wearing nothing but black sweatpants and a white t-shirt. He had been going at it for a while, as his hair was matted against his forehead with sweat, and his cheeks were tinged red. He didn't look like he was going to stop any time soon. 

If Izaya had to take a wild guess, he had to say that this was therapeutic for the blonde, although judging from the scowl on his lips and his scrunched eye brows, it wasn't enough. 

He walked closer to the grounds, rested his back against the nearest table that had a few swords on display, and although Shizuo was only a few metres away, he didn't bother no notice him.

So Izaya waited, and waited some more, just because he had nothing better to do.

"What do you want?" Shizuo asked suddenly, while throwing his sword at the floor. Izaya was almost disappointed by the action.

"Ah, so it speaks," He remarked, the ghost of a smile dancing on his lips.

"You look like shit," Shizuo said, ignoring Izaya and leaving him to pout, "Have you been getting any sleep?" 

"You're so mean," He said frivolously, pointedly looking the other way with a small _humph._

"And of course I've been sleeping," He lied, already feeling the dark circles under his eyes pull at his lashes, like an annoying weight that wouldn't be satisfied until he closed his eyes.

"Right," Shizuo mumbled, shuffling his feet a little and averting his eyes, before, "Why are you here Izaya?" 

"Because the last time we spoke you looked like you were feeling sorry for yourself when you have no right to do that," He said nonchalantly, and Shizuo's smile looked murderous.

"Excuse me?"

Izaya pressed on.

"I'll be honest with you," he declared, tone and expression suddenly serious. His gaze was challenging as he slowly lifted up his arm and pointed at Shizuo, who looked like a deer in headlights at his blatancy. 

"You don't deserve that crown, beast." He said, jaw set and expression unrelenting. 

Shizuo regarded him, and bit his tongue until he could taste the tinge of copper in his breath. Whether it was an action of submission or defiance, he himself didn't want to know.

"That is my challenge," he elaborated, if only to wipe off Shizuo's ugly expression of his face. He looked like a shunned puppy, it wasn't even enjoyable anymore.

"That is what I'm going to prove once I come out victorious." 

Shizuo was giving him a weird look, _again_. Izaya was getting annoyed because it almost seemed grateful this time.

"I'm going to be the one that defeats you! So don't lose to anyone else before that," He exclaimed loudly, his drowsiness long gone, and the edges of his lips tugging upwards with determination.

"Right," Shizuo said after a little while. He was all but glaring at Izaya, but it was almost as if a large weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

-

"Did you just fucking _stab_ me?!"

Moments later after Izaya initiated his challenge, and Shizuo accepted it, he decided to add some weight to the words. 

"Shizuo don't be silly," Izaya scoffed while putting away his switchblade, almost smug that he managed to not get any blood on it, "I _slashed_ you. Big difference."

The cut was bright red and screaming across Shizuo's abdomen, blood already seeping out of the gash but not much. Izaya was benevolent enough to not strike too deep, after all.

"You're _so_ dead."

Izaya didn't think that Shizuo would literally _chase him down_ in an attempt to grab him and beat him up. He also didn't expect for Shizuo to have the strength to pick up projectiles ranging from dummies to a table, and fling them at Izaya, but Shizuo could only remain so predictable.

They didn't leave the training grounds as it's large enough for the two of them, and without anyone to witness the surely deadly chase, there was no one to stop them. If Izaya weren't so light on his feet, he would have long dropped dead. 

In all his years at The Isle, he had never felt adrenaline rush through him like it did at that moment.

And as Izaya runs away from Shizuo and his flying projectiles, he laughs, and feels as if he has found a new playmate.

-

They stopped after an hour when Izaya had to make a sprint towards the garbage can to puke out his lunch. 

Shizuo just stared blankly at him as he hurled out the contents of his stomach (eating before vigorous activity was surprisingly a bad idea) and waited awkwardly for Izaya to finish his business.

"So uh," He says when Izaya stumbles away from the crime scene and wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket, 

"Do you want some juice or something?" 

Izaya responds by frowning at him as he throws a switchblade close to Shizuo's foot, his own eloquent way of saying _'Fuck you'_ , and walks away, searching for the comfort of his dorm.

"Tell anyone about this, and you're dead," He threatened before shutting the door behind him with more force than necessary. 

Back outside, Shizuo bites his tongue in an attempt to hold his laugh. 

He gets pissed at Izaya again when he remembers the bleeding gash across his abdomen.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not as long as usual but that's okay  
> Next chapters will be longer dw
> 
> Edit: Nvm it's long enough


	6. A Relationship Of Styrofoam And Broken String

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And as Izaya stares at the contraption, he thinks it's a metaphor, because maybe their relationship has always been as sturdy as cheap styrofoam and broken string.

A month had passed since school started and, the unforgiving weather of autumn was beginning to morph into something colder, and duller. October was already starting to feel like winter, for Izaya at least.

He was currently in a special class along with Shinra, Erika and Celty; a sort of ethics class that had opened up just for them. And their professor was the Fairy Godmother herself, the one that went _bibbidi bobbidi boo._ The class was a miserable thing really, where she tried to present scenarios for them to see what they would do, and that apparently always opposed the _right_ thing that should be done.

Izaya hated it, but attended anyway in an attempt to ask her questions about her wand, because it was fascinating, but she only chuckled and ruffled his hair or pinched his cheek whenever he showed any interest.

She wore a simple azure cloak that trailed a little on the floor, the colour being one of the two shades that represented Avalon. She had a sort of special, customized holster around her waist where she kept her wand safely tucked in, which lead Izaya to believe that the wand was still in use, although he had never seen it in action, and doubted that he ever would. It was probably the only thing that was being used to hold up the barrier too. 

She was a small woman with a loud presence. She was old, obviously, with grey hair and wrinkles which were probably all from smiling so much, and her eyes a dark brown that were a bit too bight for her age.

But despite being in the presence of the Fairy Godmother herself, he normally spent the particular lesson staring blankly at the wall, envisioning the powerful relic in his hands, but today's class sadly required his full attention.

"So, Izaya. For as long as you've been here, you haven't shown any sign of powers, correct?"

It made sense why the question was only targeted at him. Celty's powers had always been present on The Isle, and they remained exactly the same in Avalon, which made everyone believe that her powers and her very being was some odd supernatural creation that lay beyond the boundaries of magic. Shinra was adopted by Facilier so he definitely didn't have powers similar to his, and it was being speculated that his original parents didn't have any significant powers to pass down to begin with. The spectacle-wearing freak was all too happy participating in his biology and chemistry classes to humor the idea of magical abilities anyway.

Erika may have been the rightful daughter of Gothel, a cunning woman that wasn't to be messed with, but there were no powers to inherit from her. And her father, just like Izaya's old man, must have been quite powerless because ever since they arrived at Avalon, neither of them felt any secret power bubbling in their veins that had just been waiting to show itself.

Still, Izaya's mother was Maleficent, who had the ability to turn into a fire breathing dragon besides being a powerful sorceress, so he understood why the question was frequently asked every week when they had the lesson.

"Not a sliver of magic resides in my body ma'am," He confessed with what he thought to be, a charming smile, and she chuckled in reply.

"Now that that's out of the way," she said dutifully, while sorting through the papers that made a mess out of her desk, "You'll be having that special assignment eventually. And this will affect your personal report so I suggest you treat this seriously and with great diligence." 

Her tone was strict now, and it only ever got that way when she had high expectations for them and was awaiting the very best of results, as if they were the top students of the school without shady backgrounds. This, _personal report_ , was being entrusted in her hands, although other students and professors were free to leave comments and suggestions, but at the end of the day, the report was hers to write. 

And that little report written on a flimsy piece of paper was going to be important for them, from what he could tell. After all, a positive report about their behaviour from the Fairy Godmother herself would rid them of any bad reputation they fostered from being villain kids. So whatever the task, the four of them were going to have go through with it.

"There is a weekly tea time for the young kids of Avalon. Normally Vorona, the daughter of Rapunzel and Eugene, is in charge of the sessions and Prince Shizuo helps her,"

Izaya perked up at hearing Shizuo's name, not quite able to imagine that angry brute be patient with bratty kids. He held back a laugh at the thought of someone so impatient trying to retain some control that was never there in the first place.

"But, in a few weeks you four will be supervising that session all on your own."

Izaya frowned. He didn't like children. They were idiotic in their nature, and utterly taxing burdens, if The Isle had ever taught him anything. He especially hated when they cried. 

He _despised_ it when they cried.

"What do we have to do to get a passing grade?" 

He never was that great with kids. He was rough and mean with those of The Isle because that's all he ever knew, and that's what they needed to survive in the first place, so all that tender, gentle stuff wasn't something he could fake well enough to get him or his friends through the session. 

"Just make sure no one runs off. In that one hour and a half you have to keep all their limbs intact, and try to leave a good impression. You wouldn't want them to dislike you just for being villain kids, right?" She asked sternly, openly concerned about the impression they were going to make of themselves in front of the younger generation of Avalon.

"You have a point," Izaya spoke up seriously, receiving weird looks from his friends, "We can't risk having them dislike us just because we're from The Isle. They have to dislike us for who we are-"

His somewhat disdainful joke came to an abrupt stop when Erika and Celty, who were sitting to his right and left respectively, simultaneously jabbed him in the ribs with their elbows. Shinra seemed a little jealous at all the attention the girls were giving him.

"So violent," He spat with a pout, glaring at the woman in front of him.

"You're supposed to be the professor! You can at least oh I don't know, _try_ , to hide the fact that you're _laughing_ at my _agony!"_

And with that the Fairy Godmother, the image of goodness, started to laugh even louder.

-

Izaya never really spoke to Shizuo during the day, and the two practically ignored each other when they crossed paths in their classes, in the corridors, or even whenever they happened to be at the mess hall at the same time which was rare, because Izaya ate breakfasts a little too early and dinner a little too late for Shizuo to find him, even if he wanted to.

But on every afternoon, Izaya would go to the training grounds, and Shizuo would be there, occupying himself by beating up a poor dummy with is bare hands.

The raven haired boy came to learn that Shizuo's strength knew no limits, and was completely his own; it wasn't something passed onto him by his father or anything of the sort. No, the way he held himself whenever he got upset, the fluid movement of his body whenever he grabbed an innocent bench like it was nothing to throw at Izaya was all too natural for it to be inherited.

Besides, Beast didn't have any remarkable physical strength that he was known for. 

Nope, he thought as he saw Shizuo tense once he was spotted. This was all Shizuo.

Their interactions were simple, almost barbaric. They would meet, Izaya would tease, and Shizuo would give into his screwed up game without trying to hold himself back. Their chase around the grounds was their unhealthy and dangerous way of blowing off steam, Izaya knew this.

Shizuo had to keep himself presentable and well behaved 24/7, trying to fit into a role that wasn't meant for him in the slightest. With Izaya he showed all that pent up rage without a second thought. And Izaya could forget about the fact that he could come up with nothing so far that could help his people when he was running for his life with a smile on his lips.

They always showed each other their worst, with a silent promise that everything stayed between them. When Izaya slashed Shizuo with his switchblade that first time, he got too caught up in the moment and didn't think the action through. An assault like that could have been enough to have him beheaded, for sure, but as far as he could tell, Shizuo didn't tell a soul about the wound etched on his abdomen. 

Their interlude always ended with a whimper. 

Either with his knife against Shizuo's throat, or with himself being pinned to the ground with Shizuo's hands around his neck. 

That knife never quite made contact against sensitive skin, and the hands that occasionally found themselves on Izaya's neck were too loose and trembling to even leave behind a bruise, let alone leave him gasping for breath. It was in those moments that the two would back off and stare each other down. They could throw knives and other projectiles at the air and chase each other till their lungs were on fire, but at the end of the day, neither could throw the first punch.

This weird game couldn't go on forever, he thought as he pulled his lips into a smile. 

"Hello beast," he greeted with a small wave of the hand. 

With great amusement he saw Shizuo look at him with irritation, but then that turned into something else, something he couldn't really understand.

"You're limping." He stated.

Izaya remembered P.E. class which took place earlier that day, when he fell over clumsily during one of their stupid games when Shinra ran into him. It wasn't the first time, but he landed a little worse than he usually did. Nothing serious or permanent, said the nurse after examining it, but enough to leave him with a small limp. And no P.E. for a month. He was excited about that little detail.

"Shinra, that idiot, bumped into me in P.E. class earlier. I'm gonna be limping for a while now, so I get a month off." He said honestly, testing the limits of a relationship which was barely even there, wanting to see what new paths he could find, and which ones were strictly inaccessible. 

Shizuo stayed silent, giving him that weird look.

" _What_ , are you concerned, beast?"

He was teasing, smiling, doing all that he knew to do with Shizuo.

"No," he replied stubbornly, with a scowl on his face. But he still abandoned the dummy that he was ripping to shreds and sat down on a nearby bench, patting the empty spot next to him in silent invitation. 

Izaya rose a brow but obliged to his request anyway. 

He could forget their game of cat and mouse for the next month, he thought. And without that, without the chaos and the violence, he wasn't sure if there was anything to leave behind.

The bench was small, small enough for Izaya's shoulder to brush against Shizuo's. It felt firm, but somewhat relaxed. Shizuo was relaxed. He wasn't even looking at Izaya or giving him a sideways glance every now and again, even though he was the same guy that slashed him with a knife. 

They were both calm.

So with that knowledge, he took his chances, and dared to rest his head against Shizuo's shoulder with a lazy slump, because all of the sleep he was missing was really starting to get to him. 

At the moment of contact Shizuo sputtered something inaudible and his entire body tensed. Slowly, almost comically, he turned his head to examine the situation; a sleepy Izaya with closed eyes and a promise for getting his sweater stained with drool. He sighed, kept his hands on his lap, and didn't move an inch.

It was after a few minutes that Izaya felt a gentle grip on his wrist, pulling his hand upwards, until an open hand was touching his own palm. He was half asleep, and barely aware of what his name was, but albeit tender, the touch was somewhat curious, as if searching Izaya's hand for familiarity.

-

"I want the Fairy Godmother's wand," Izaya drawled nonchalantly.

He was resting on his bed, his head tipping at the edge of it in a weird angle as he stared at the book he was holding in his hands, trying to convince himself that he could read those tiny letters from such a distance. In the privacy of his dorm with only Erika to hear, he felt as if he had stated that he would like some apple juice. 

Said girl had been at the desk talking about the latest manga that Walker had shown her, but the easy smile on her lips and the rhythmic back and forth sway of her feet came to a stop at her friend's confession. She sighed in what seemed to be defeat. 

"When you set your mind to something there's no stopping you," She remarked exasperatedly, perhaps remembering the tree Izaya climbed at ten years old because he thought he saw a squirrel on the top branches, even after Shinra and Erika were shouting at him to stop, a frenzy of panic while he ignored them.

(They broke off into an annoying chant of _I told you so_ after he fell on his ass and burst out crying while Celty tried to soothe him. It wasn't something he could remember all too smugly.)

Or maybe she recalled how he founded a gang the day after he stated that he wanted one, a gang which was alive to this very day and gaining new members by the day. 

Because when Izaya said he wanted something, that meant he was going to try to get it, and no one was capable of convincing him of doing otherwise. Erika knew this all too well.

"I have to ask. Why do you want it and how are you planning to get it?" 

He groaned at her queries. 

"I have only just come to the realization that I want it, Erika-chan," He said in a manner that was all to juvenile for his age, "That alone deserves some praise. How can you expect me to answer your grilling questions on such short notice?" 

Erika rose an unimpressed brow at him, and it was only his flamboyant antics that could get Erika of all people to act as if she was babysitting the person she was talking to. He felt immense pride with that knowledge, but huffed out a breath because she wasn't going to leave him alone unless he answered with _something._

"I want it because it's powerful. Too powerful for anyone to possess. Did you know that there are theories speculating that her wand is the source of all magic? It's outrageous, honestly."

She bit her lip and scrunched her eyebrows.

"I understand that much, but what are you gonna do? Hold onto it and punch anyone that tries to use it?" She giggled a little as she asked the question, and Izaya wasn't amused in the slightest.

"I don't know, but I want it. The majority of the people on The Isle are innocent," He pressed on. 

"And Shizuo-sama wants to get those people onto Avalon. Your reckless actions could cost a lot of little kids their freedom."

He bit his tongue. 

"Besides. Even we have to admit. There are bad people at The Isle. If you use that wand to break down the barrier then you're letting them out too."

Izaya remembered holding a man with an unwavering grip against a grimy disgusting wall, because he was stealing food from children. He remembered the weird people that were just a little shadier than normal, and that one guy that pointed a knife at him when he was fourteen. 

He remembered every hopeless kid he saw wandering in the grungy streets. 

"Well if you think about it, the original villains have been locked up in their for two decades. If my mother is anything to go off, they barely have any will to live, let alone to be a threat anymore," He reasoned, and Erika must have thought about her own mother before nodding her head in agreement, "The world could handle everyone else, I'm sure. Anyone that misbehaves too much could just be sent to jail anyway. Better that than having an entire island on lock down.

And we don't have to worry about the younger generation since there's a big chance that magical abilities just aren't being passed down. My mum herself was one of the few magically gifted villains that even had kids, and I've got nothing," He reasoned.

Erika gave him a thoughtful look. 

"So you mean in it? You really don't have any magic?" 

Izaya shrugged his shoulders.

"Mother told me that even if you have the smallest semblance of magic, you'll feel it burning at your fingertips... in a good way," He added when he saw Erika give him a concerned look.

"I never felt that ever since I stepped on Avalon," He admitted.

"Fair enough," Erika gave in. "Anyway. What's your plan?" 

He gave her a lazy smile.

"Non-existent, for now."

A text book, _'101 Reasons To Be Good'_ , was thrown at his face. 

-

A week later, Izaya found himself on a nearby hill which was a little off campus, and well hidden enough to make him believe that no one could disturb his peace and quiet. 

He was staring up at the sky, playing at the blades of grass beneath his fingertips when he heard footsteps behind him. He was annoyed, as this was his alone time to come up with a good plan for actually getting the wand, but he still forced a smile, and turned around to greet the unwanted visitor.

His smile twitched a little.

It was the King.

Beast.

Husband of Belle.

Father of Shizuo. 

And he looked like a deer in headlights. 

"Aren't you supposed to be at your fancy little palace?" Izaya asked casually after getting over his first wave of shock. Of all the things he wasn't expecting the man to smile or to approach any closer.

"I come over on Saturdays to make sure everything is fine and that there's no trouble," He explained almost curtly, as if he wanted to run away almost.

"I get it," He said loftily when the man was clearly waiting for a reaction to see if the atmosphere was comfortable or hostile, "You're the King and I'm a kid that should be locked down on an island. But thanks to your pesky son you've got to play polite with Maleficent's son." He was lying through his teeth. He didn't quite believe anything he said for a second, judging from how relieved he seemed when the four of them had arrived and met him in front of the school. 

But to see the King look so speechless and hopeless was nothing short of amusing to Izaya.

"That's not- why would you- No!" He said after a little while, tumbling over his words and he decided that he couldn't blame Shizuo at such a lack of articulacy. 

"Easy buddy, I was teasing. You don't know what to do with yourself cause you think I hate you, right?"

Izaya always had been shamelessly blatant and he wasn't going to stop because of some King. And maybe he should have been more careful to not overstep his boundaries, but that was difficult when the guy was looking so undone, in contrast to how confident and strong he always seemed to be.

"You should hate me." He decided after a little while, looking straight ahead instead of at Izaya directly. 

"I should," He agreed. 

Their exchange was replaced by an almost heavy silence, but there was a somewhat peaceful aspect to it. So Izaya sat there with his legs tucked in against him, resting his chin on his knees as he felt the breeze that was a little too cold for his liking. 

"You were the one that ordered for the barrier to be built around The Isle." 

"Yes." He admitted

"It is my biggest regret."

Izaya grabbed a pebble and threw it at the nearby apple tree. 

"I should hate you." He repeated silently, mouth in a straight line, and gaze resting on the boarding school that was depriving him of precious sleep.

-

Shizuo was attempting at enjoying breakfast, but it was proving hard to do so with that scene mercilessly playing in his head.

_'You don't deserve that crown, beast.'_

Although Shizuo was infuriated by those words, he was still doing his best not to believe them, because he couldn't be a king if he was doubting every choice he was making. But then Izaya did the unexpected.

_'That is my challenge. That is what I'm going to prove once I come out victorious.'_

For reasons that still remained unknown to him, he tweaked his statement, turned it from something that had an air of finality to something that was still yet to be proven. It was so subtle that he was surprised he notice it himself, he thought as he mindlessly played with his cutlery. 

He was giving him a chance to prove himself. 

Shizuo didn't know _why_ Izaya had done that, offered something that he had thought to be kindness, but it set the tone for their relationship, and it was probably why every projectile thrown was dodged so easily, and why they chased each other instead of actually fought.

Things were weird between them now... or weirder than usual. Things had always been weird, of course, and probably they would never stop being weird, but still. 

On the day Izaya came limping to the training grounds because of a minor leg injury from P.E., they sat on a bench and just stayed together, slouching lazily against each other, and it had felt all too natural for Shizuo's liking. It was like they had done this a thousand times.

The day after that, Shizuo went to the grounds a little later than usual, resorting back to the dummies to blow off steam now that Izaya wasn't going to be there, and that thought annoyed him a lot more than it should have. Obviously the dummies were no match for Izaya. Because they couldn't push his buttons and rile him up, and they didn't talk about literally nothing all the time just to fill the silence. They didn't say something unexpectedly funny and cause Shizuo to choke on a laugh because he was desperately trying to act upset because he didn't want to show that he was having fun. 

Izaya shouldn't have been there on that day.

But he was.

Sitting on that very same bench and slouching, back bent in a horrible angle while nodding off to sleep. It was as Shizuo clicked his tongue and went to adjust the raven haired boy's position, that he realized that he had stopped coming to the training grounds to blow off steam a long while ago. 

He just wanted to see Izaya. 

"Shizuo, you okay?" 

He was brought out of his stupor to see Tom giving him a weird look as he took a seat next to Shizuo's, a black coffee and a croissant in hand. He wrinkled his nose at the smell, could almost taste the bitterness on his tongue.

"You've been frowning at that cup of milk for a solid minute. What's up?" 

Shizuo dismissed his concern with a small smile, and Tom gave him a look that made Shizuo sigh in defeat. 

"It's Izaya again isn't it?" 

Tom was the only one who Shizuo really talked to about his current situation. He knew about the gash on his abdomen because Shizuo had been examining it in the mirror when Tom knocked at the door, and mindlessly said _'It's unlocked'_ , only to hear his friend's panicked screech at the sight. It wasn't too deep, he thought at the time but knew it was going to leave a scar. He begged Tom to stitch it up using a first aid kit because he didn't want to go and explain it to the nurse, and then Tom made him talk. 

There wasn't much to say. He was honest of course, about how agitated and uneasy he was with Izaya around, but with every new day that feeling dwindled until it was almost forgotten. Tom of course, being a sane person, told him that Izaya's actions needed to be punished, and he shouldn't be going around to the training grounds to chase him around like a mad man. He was a prince after all, and if anyone were to see him he would be in big trouble. 

Shizuo knew this. He knew it every time he ignored Izaya in class, every time they were running around and acting downright stupid. But he couldn't bring himself to turn his back on the guy, instead choosing to stick around simply because he wanted to. 

"Ever since he got that limp you've been looking like you lost your favourite playmate," Tom mocked, the corners of his lips tugging upwards with innocent mirth. 

Shizuo glared, stepped on his foot underneath the table. And as he saw his friend yelp helplessly at the assault, he thought that maybe, after catching a glimpse of Izaya's array of smiles, any other tug of the lips from now on would simply fail to compare. 

-

Izaya found himself knocking on the door of room 128 on one evening.

That one weird kid, Tom, asked him to go get Shizuo for a meeting because Izaya was heading to the dormitories anyway, and the guy seemed real busy at the time so Izaya dragged himself there after Tom told him the room number. Well, Tom didn't really _tell_ him to do anything per se. It was more like a panicked yelp, that sounded more like a beg for mercy than a request, but Izaya smiled sharply and obliged anyway. 

"Tom told me to remind you about some meeting you have," He said airily when Shizuo opened the door, and proceeded to walk past him and into his room, curious to see if the prince got a bigger dorm than anyone else. It was exactly the same though, save for the items that the blonde added so it had some personality. A poor personality, but a personality nonetheless, he thought. 

From the corner of his eye he saw Shizuo lose the hunch of his shoulders, his defensive stance crumbling as he remembered the meeting that he had surely forgotten before. 

"Right," He forced out, fumbling around the room as if searching for something. His lips bore a stupid grin when he found the azure blue blazer, "I appreciate you coming to tell me and all, but I didn't say you could just prance into my room."

Izaya scrunched his nose in disgust at the accusation. "I don't prance, Shizuo," and the blonde rolled his eyes at the words as he headed to the desk, rummaging through piles and heaps of paperwork, "I _saunter._ " He defended, saying the word with an air of flamboyancy that was enough to get Shizuo to smile. 

"Sure," He agreed without any enthusiasm, heading over to the small bathroom that accompanied every dorm (which Izaya was grateful for because he was yet to locate all the bathrooms around the school, and the library too for that matter), just to rake his fingers through his hair which honestly could do with losing a few inches.

He used the blonde's distraction to look around the room, and maybe he would have searched every nook and cranny, opened a few drawers too, but his gaze landed on the shelf, where amongst the clutter, lay a cheap styrofoam cup with a string that was surely ineptly attached. It was only half the worthless communicative device that it once was, he decided. 

The realization wasn't much of a shock to him. He had thought before that the guy he slashed with a knife was the same kid he used to meet at the barrier every day, but it was a piece of information that could've been ignored, up till that moment.

Izaya could only bring himself to stare at it blankly, too numb to approach closer. He felt something a little like dread, settling like a lump in his throat, as he could guess that if he put the cup against his ear, the friendly greeting that he was once so used to would be missing, the familiar voice clinging to those words lost to the wind perhaps. 

And Izaya thinks that the contraption is a metaphor, because maybe, their relationship has always been as sturdy as styrofoam and broken string.

For a moment, he childishly wondered if broken strings could be mended.

"Do you think my hair looks fine?" He heard Shizuo ask, and Izaya slowly turned his head and at the sight of the bedhead, if only to offer a smug grin.

"Nope. It looks stupid," He said all too impudently. 

"Whatever, screw you," Shizuo replied, stomping to the door to hold it open, and motioned at Izaya to get his ass out of his dorm. 

_"Stupid."_ He repeated with a sing song lilt to the word. 

"You forgot that one document you were searching for on the desk, by the way." He added thoughtfully.

"Shit." 

Izaya laughed as he walked away, and he dared to think that maybe, just maybe, without all the chaos and violence, left behind would be two young boys, counting cicadas and sharing naps under the lazy summer sun.

**-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See y'all next sunday


	7. A Monster That Can't Be Defeated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so in regards to update schedule, I'll be sure to put out at least one chapter every week. They'll come at out around the weekend, so either saturday or sunday.  
> Now I hope you guys enjoyyyy~

Izaya was glaring so hard at his professor that the poor guy had to actually stop the lesson to give him helpless glance. Izaya took it as a silent question, a wordless demand to explain what could've been seen as disrespect. 

The weeks had passed by uneventfully, his life taking on a mundane routine that he never wanted. He was spending a lot more time with Shizuo ever since he stopped limping, and Tom came shrieking at them one time, begging them to play a sport instead of chasing each other around as if they were both mad. They were a _'freak duo'_ , he had said, running with endless stamina and dodging blows that would have left either of them dead. At the time Izaya snickered at Tom instead of showing sympathy, even if they did opt for playing tennis (they already shattered two windows) or track racing (which was futile as that turned into a chase anyway). 

To an outsider, their interactions must've seemed murderous. But an outsider wouldn't know that the two of them saw each other as rivals. Izaya had made it clear since day one, decided on their fate maybe even before that, and Shizuo was well aware of the fact. But that didn't stop Shizuo from getting the both of them a drink from the vending machine after the chase was done, nor did it stop Izaya from hanging around Shizuo in class in a manner that was all too casual. 

The two quite literally needed each other. Shizuo needed Izaya as an example that anyone could be saved. Izaya knew that he was probably going to need Shizuo for his own plan, that of getting the wand, to succeed. And so, the two ran around the training grounds and the gymnasium, somehow never with the intent to kill, and they jabbed each other in the ribs during their chemistry experiments whenever they were scolded by the professor. They were friends, and maybe that was what Izaya hated most about Shizuo.

"Izaya, is there something you would like to say?" 

His lips split into an almost wolfish grin, one that couldn't reach his eyes. Some students of the class were giving him weird looks, just like they did at the mess hall and in the corridors, because he was a villain's kid. Truly, he couldn't exactly blame them for thinking that way, but it was still extremely annoying to deal with. Either way, he was sick of history class. The lesson was dull and the professor went on about the same things that had been written down in the very same text books that Izaya wanted to burn, because the stories they recalled seemed mindlessly written.

"Well I wouldn't want to interject, professor, but since you _insist_ ," And he slouched back, relaxing in his chair, enjoying how the attention had somehow gone on him. 

"I feel like this class would only satisfy people that think villains are evil, and heroes are good." 

The nervous look he received from the professor made him smile a little wider. 

"So, the people of The Isle are all evil? The people of Avalon are all righteous? These terms are just labels that have been stamped on hundreds of people that haven't done anything to earn such a description. Kids who have grown in Avalon think that those of The Isle are dangerous. Kids who grew on The Isle have never even seen the sun. The values they've been taught to help them survive are different, which makes for obvious problems when the two worlds clash,"

He remembered the distasteful looks he and his friends received whenever they stole anything, or played a little too rough in P.E. class, asking them why they were acting as if their lives depended on behaving in such a ruthless manner. 

"And those who stand at the top determine what's wrong and what's right."

The class went dead silent. 

"Oh dear, did I say that out loud?" He asked coyly, "That's bad. We can't have the future generation thinking for itself now, can we?" 

Maybe he said too much, with more impudence than he intended, but he couldn't bring himself to regret it, even as he got up from his seat to go to the Principal's office. And he couldn't tell as he left the class, as he would only realize a few days later while ambling across the corridors with his friends; All the weird looks and the glaring that he had been receiving before from the strangers he hadn't met yet, had stopped. 

-

Unfortunately for Izaya, the title of principal belonged to the Fairy Godmother, who was currently looking at him with a worried look. He wasn't exactly concerned that he was going to get into much trouble, that wouldn't help the image of Avalon at all, but he still didn't like the situation one bit. Yet he plastered a smile on his face anyway, and rested his chin on the back of his hand, made sure he was comfortable in his seat and waited for the woman to say something. She sighed and continued her paperwork. 

"You're not in trouble, you know," She confessed.

"How delightful," Izaya commented lightly. 

"But we're worried that you'll cause trouble."

He let the silence stretch out a little longer, till he couldn't bother to keep up the tug at his lips. 

"And what if I do?" 

"I don't know," She replied honestly, tone a little tired as she kept going through her paperwork, as if not wanting to meet his gaze just yet. "We can't just wait around and let you do whatever you please."

"Maybe I can't wait around knowing this is all wrong," He countered back, biting his tongue as he said it. A few more slip ups and he was going to be sent back to The Isle, he was sure of it. But she sighed and put her pen down, finally making eye contact. 

"I feel bad for you," She finally admitted, tone so sweet and gentle that it made him feel much more vulnerable than he wanted to, "You walk around like you're carrying a large weight on your shoulders. As if the world depends on it. You're a lot like Prince Shizuo you know. Maybe that's why you two get along so well."

Izaya gave her a strained smile.

"How do you..?" 

"I've seen your friends walk around together after school. You're never with them. One time I was going to pass by the training grounds to talk to Prince Shizuo, because he always spends a lot of time there alone. Or well, he used to at least." 

Izaya didn't really want to know more. He didn't want to know what they were doing when she saw them, and he didn't want to know why she was so good at reading everything.

"You're a good guy, Izaya. That's why I pity the position you put yourself in." She reached her hand out tentatively, gently pressing her palm against his cheek. Her touch was so motherly, that he couldn't help but lean into it a little. "And how do you know that?" He asked, trying for playfulness but falling short of it, the smile he forced on his lips a little sad. 

"Just a hunch." She replied while shrugging her shoulders. 

He pulled away almost immediately, as if her fingertips suddenly turned poisonous. He excused himself with a smile, joking that he would make no promises about not causing trouble, even though he truly meant it. And as he said it, she felt as if the look in his eyes was begging her to not show him pity.

-

History class was the last one of the day, so with a lack of anything better to do, he started making his way to his dorm.

His days used to be fuller, and he was more free at The Isle than he could probably ever be here. It was a horrible cruel place that was crumbling down bit by bit every day, but it was home. He missed scurrying around the kitchen trying to find a decent breakfast for his sisters, the thrill of getting his jobs done as an informant, tagging along with Celty on her motorcycle whenever she let him. The annoying bickering ten year old kids that Kida brought him as they all insisted on joining the Dollars, a gang that had made its mark around The Isle were something he looked back on fondly, lacking the irritation he held for them just a few weeks ago. 

He yearned for the days where he and his friends raided the markets in the early morning, laughing as they ran away with high quality goods (as high quality as they could have been anyway) while everyone else shouted profanities at them for stealing. He hadn't even bumped into Tanaka ever since he arrived at Avalon.

Izaya was a flexible guy though, everyone from The Isle had to be in order to survive. He adapted fairly well to what was wrong and right by Avalon's standards, and he was normally the first one out of all his friends to realize when some of their actions were perceived as immoral by the people around them. Making the adjustment was difficult, probably one of the reasons he was losing so much sleep, but he smiled through the tiredness and handled the situation with a certain eloquence, careful to not show a peak of the edges of the blades he always carried around because he was sure that would bring nothing but trouble.

He was making his way past the courtyard before deciding that he needed some fresh air, so he sat on one of the many benches, one of he few that was unoccupied, and craned his neck back so that he could stare at the sky. He was bored out of his mind. 

And then, he felt someone sitting next to him. Lazily, Izaya glanced at the stranger, taking his time to tilt his head. The kid almost appeared out of nowhere, with slightly messy black hair and grayish-blue eyes that were looking at Izaya expectantly, as his fingers fidgeted on the large book he was carrying. It seemed to be a sort of hero slash villain guide book for kids, with large pictures and standard information about the people that were worth naming. He was probably the same age as Kida, Izaya thought.

"That's a nice book you've got there," He complimented, adding a lilt to his words and craning his neck to attempt at an interest and curiosity that wasn't really there. It was easy though, practically second nature. He couldn't count the times that kids would bring him cicadas and worms in jars back at The Isle, and he always feigned entertainment because to a kid, that meant everything.

"Thanks!" The boy was almost jittery, swinging his legs back and forth, puffing out his chest proudly as if he hadn't expected Izaya to say anything, "Only the coolest people make it in this book... I'm gonna make it in this book one day too, just you wait!" 

Izaya laughed at the petulant hope that only a kid could have, and he pouted in turn. He fell quiet after that, scrunching his brows together, offended that his statement was seen as a joke. He rolled his eyes as he came upon an epiphany, a universal fact about all children everywhere; they were absolute brats.

"Idiot," He said while lightly flicking a finger at his forehead, "Just because people take your aspirations as a joke doesn't mean you should give up. All the more reason to prove them wrong. Then, you get to have the last laugh." 

He seemed deep in thought, reflecting on Izaya's words while rubbing his forehead. "That's kinda childish." 

Izaya died a little on the inside. 

"Perhaps," He relented while stretching his arms across the bench, "Say, what's your name kid?" 

"I'm Mikado. What about you? Cause you look old."

"Hey! I'm only eighteen," He scolded, clicking his tongue in annoyance as the kid laughed obnoxiously, "The name's Izaya," And then he looked away, stared straight ahead instead of bothering to make eye contact. 

"I'm from The Isle, you now." 

He said it mostly out of curiosity, wanting to see what reaction the kid would make. If he was lucky, he would burst out crying and run away. At least that way he would have a good laugh and a peaceful afternoon. 

"So what?" He asked nonchalantly, giving Izaya a weird look from the corner of his eye. 

He forgot that Mikado was just an eleven year old; toying with the idea of adoloscence, but still a kid at heart. And all kids wanted to do was show everyone their toys, and boast about their talents while whining around like brats about anything that was short of perfect. They didn't care if the person they were talking to was a saint or the devil himself, as long as said devil pretended to be interested in whatever they had to say.

Mikado went on about his book for a good few minutes, and the two argued pettishly every few seconds. 

"The villains are clearly cooler, they have way more powerful magic."

"But they're _bad."_

"Well you're _stupid."_

"Hey!" 

Eventually Izaya got bored again, so he ruffled Mikado's messy hair just to make it a little bit messier. 

"You know how to get back to your parents right?" 

Izaya was at least assuming that one of his parents worked here and brought him over since he was clearly too young to attend school there, and he had to make sure that Mikado was gonna go back to them. He didn't need him getting lost, because probably the guards would trace everything back to Izaya, and suddenly he would be a kidnapper. 

He nodded enthusiastically. 

"See you later, old man!" 

He was already walking away when the insult was thrown, but he bothered to turn his head, a lazy grin tugging at his lips. "See ya, shorty." He stuck his tongue out after that, purely out of spite. 

Izaya wanted to kick himself as he remembered their exchange of _see you later._ The kid would probably find him and annoy him again. With a childish groan, he set off for his room which was a little too small, to collapse on his bed that was a little too comfortable.

-

"You bastards," Izaya found himself saying as he went to unlock his dorm room. It was already unlocked, and when he opened it, he found those three knuckleheads loitering around his precious space. Upon realizing that they figured out his combination on his keypad just so they could violate his privacy, he deemed the insult to be appropriate.

"You left us no choice!" Erika defended loudly, and Izaya guessed that this master plan was probably initiated by her. "You've been acting weird lately and you never talk about it to us!"

Izaya suddenly felt guilty for leaving out his friends in the dark. 

"Fine, fine. I'll ever so humbly grace you with my presence." 

A pillow was thrown at his face, and he almost whined when he realized the ever so responsible Celty, had been the one to assault him. 

-

They ended up in a clumsy circle formation on the floor, door locked and pillows littering every corner. Izaya knew that this was probably due to his little tangent in history class earlier that day, and he wasn't sure what they wanted to hear from him. After a few moments of silence, he opened his mouth. 

"The people of The Isle are bad. The people of Avalon are good. I'm tired of that," He was almost mumbling, and the thought of smiling to make his words any less somber repulsed him. 

"Not everyone thinks that about us though. There's a reason why we're here," Shinra countered, ever so logical as always. But he shook his head with a bitter tug of the lips. "In their eyes we're always gonna be bad. Stealing, carrying weapons, acting selfish, being rougher than the other kids," He lifted up a finger with every quality he mentioned, "That's looked down upon here."

He remembered a week ago when he was in the bathroom, filing his nails with his switchblade out of sheer boredom. A guy walked in, probably around his age, and looked at him with distaste while Izaya smirked with amusement. 

_"Why are you carrying that silly thing around?"_

At the time, Izaya's playful expression dropped, and he was left with a blank look; eyes calculating and lips in a grim line.

_"This silly thing, huh? You'd be surprised at how handy it comes when a group of kids two years older than you decide to gang up on your sisters just cause they're easy to steal a meal from. Or when you turn the corner to see that someone is trying to ambush you just because you gave them a weird look. Come to think about it, I'm surprised I didn't end up dead these past few years. And all thanks to this... silly thing."_

"So what do you wanna do about it?" Shinra asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

"I'm going to steal the wand at Shizuo's coronation." They stiffened a little as he said it, and he saw Erika regarding him seriously from the corner of his eye. She had known about this for a while, but clearly kept quiet about it as she probably felt that it was Izaya's place to tell and not hers. "I'm not expecting you guys to help me do it," He clarified while rubbing the back of his head. 

The three shared a glance, and when Celty put an encouraging hand on his shoulder, they seemed to reach a quiet understanding. 

"Izaya, if you killed a man, we'd help you bury the body. Of course we'll help you steal the wand, dumbass," Erika tousled his hair roughly as he said it, and he couldn't help but yelp, concerned that she was going to ruin his perfectly natural bedhead. 

**[So, what's the plan?]**

"I already decided on his coronation at the beginning of Winter because the wand will actually be in use during the ceremony... but it's there more as a symbol than anything else.This thing, is gonna come in handy," He said while going through his desk drawers to retrieve a book, one with a brown leather cover, accompanied with the faint scent of dust. 

"It's a spell book. I stole it from my house before we left. I'm gonna need to use a spell that gets the wand to my hand, but I need to be within close distance. So although we'll be invited to the coronation I'm probably going to be too far away to get the spell to work. I'd have to be in the front row, which is almost reserved for close family only," He explained while finding his seat between Erika and Celty on the floor again. 

"Didn't you say you had no magic? And something tells me magical spells can only be done by people with magical abilities so... does the perfect Izaya have a flaw in his immaculate plan?"

"Shut up Shinra," Izaya quipped at his friend's mockery, "I might have lied about not having _any_ magic," He confessed, and Erika punched him in the shoulder. "It was just a little lie- a small insignificant fib- Erika _-chan_ stop that!" He all but whined, and she finally stopped with a roll of the eyes. 

"I have enough magic to do spells, cause I've been trying them out in the last few weeks." 

**[But how are you going to get in the front row at the coronation?]**

Izaya felt himself getting all smug as he read the question. "Glad you asked. If Shizuo were to have a girlfriend, she would also be sitting there. So I'm sure they'll make the same exception if he were to have a boyfriend." 

When Shinra started cackling with laughter as he implied the genius of his plan, he put his hand over his heart, feeling utterly wounded by the lack of cheers.

"As if Shizuo would date _you!_ You'd literally kill each other within five seconds!" Shinra's exclamation got even Celty's shoulders shaking with laughter, and he and Erika were both tearing up trying to imagine Izaya actually dating the blonde. He pursed his lips childishly, feeling his mood turn sour. 

"He may be a brute, but even _that's_ a little extreme. Now focus," He scolded while flipping to one of the pages of his spell book that he bothered to mark, "I'll be using this on him, the most ruthless potion to ever be created. He'll constantly feel like he's drowning in his thoughts until even his head gets hazy. And before we know it, I'm in the front row." 

They all looked at the page, and stopped laughing like children. 

"A love potion," Erika read aloud, to which Shinra clicked his tongue distastefully. "It won't make him _actually_ fall in love with me, but it replicates the most vital emotions. Mostly affection and infatuation. He'll even stop chasing me around in fear of hurting me. Or at least that's what _should_ happen," He added as an afterthought, "He's a brute, a _beast._ I don't know if his body will respond to it normally." He let them all observe the ingredients, slapping their hands away whenever their fingers got too close to the pages because he got testy when it came to the antique spell book. 

"Anyway, it's a bitch to make. We have to make sure the dosage is correct or else it won't work. If we make it correctly, it will be in a liquid state and it'll vaporize easily. So I'll probably have to figure out a way to spray it in his face like perfume or something," He said while getting up to stretch his arms over his head. 

"Sounds like a plan," Erika decided. 

So they all set back down and started discussing on how they were going to get the necessary ingredients, debating the details of the scheme until Izaya was ready to deem them as perfect. They were going to have to stop soon since they actually had school work to get back to, but even if his work load had increased by ten fold, he couldn't help the dorky smile on his lips as Erika and Celty punched Shinra when he humbly expressed that making potions was beneath him.

He wasn't alone anymore. And now that he thought about it, he never really was alone in the first place.

-

The cold evening air nagged at Izaya's skin as he made his way to the grounds, making him hold onto his scarf tighter with his gloved hands. 

To say he despised the cold was a ridiculous understatement. But he wasn't going to lose to nature so easily. He had been trying everything in the past few weeks, like different types of hats and a variety of coat materials to see what could help him brave the harsh autumn weather that was soon going to turn worse. But, he managed to turn the weather into a deadline of sorts. As soon as the nagging cold air turned into a vicious bite of Winter that would make him resort to wasting away in his room, never to leave the outside again, the wand had to be in his hands.

Once he arrived at his destination, the place looked somewhat barren. It was a large area, one that was normally occupied by him and Shizuo, and even if they were just two people, they somehow managed to fill up the air with laughter and friendly taunts. Their situation was almost laughable. Izaya was sure that Shizuo viewed him as a threat, a challenge, a rival. They were frenemies almost, and he was fine with that. But the friendship aspect of their relationship seemed to be growing larger and larger, as if they were still seven year old kids passing pebbles through the barrier. 

That time was long gone, he thought as he spotted Shizuo walking aimlessly around the running track of the grounds. Maybe he didn't even recall those sunny days, he thought as he broke into a light sprint to catch up with him. The blonde acknowledged him with a small grunt.

"Wow Shizuo, is that how you greet your friend?" It felt weird talking to the man that he was planning to drug with a love potion, but he smiled anyway. There was a lilt to his words, an exaggeration of the syllables, almost like an attempt to colour in the dull atmosphere that was present since the sun was amiss. Shizuo wasn't looking at Izaya, but if possible he glared even harder at the ground. 

"You're my competition, idiot. Don't think I forgot." Shizuo all but groused his reply out, and Izaya hummed as the declaration rang in the comfortable silence between them. 

_I'm going to be the one that defeats you! So don't lose to anyone else before that._

Izaya had said.

 _Especially to yourself,_ were the words that hung to the ends of the statement. Izaya still wasn't sure if Shizuo got that part of the message. 

"You're an idiot, you know." The accusation left Izaya pouting, and when he turned his head to whine about the insult, he realized just how physically close the two were. Their shoulders were almost brushing, and he was suddenly thankful that his hands were stuffed deep into his own pockets. He didn't really mind the closeness... the more concerning factor was how natural it felt. This happened more times than he wanted to admit. Almost as if, the two fell right back into place, ignoring all the years that passed between them. He was suddenly so curious if Shizuo's memory was good enough to remember him. The image of that cup in his room flashed before his eyes tauntingly, leaving him to grimace at the thought that he was forgotten.

"That little speech you gave in class..." The irritation in Shizuo's face was palpable, and then he did something Izaya wasn't expecting. He groaned helplessly, balling his hands into fists and keeping his gaze locked on the view in front of him, instead of facing the raven haired boy, "I kind of felt like I lost to you today. I don't like it."

Shizuo was, a child, Izaya decided. He hated losing and complained about it in the aftermath. And he knew this better than anyone else because he was just as much of a child, if not more of one.

"You felt like you lost _today?_ What about every other time-"

The jab to his ribs cut his laughter short, stole his moment of pride and amusement, stripping him away from his perfect opportunity to mock further. It was nothing short of a tragedy. 

They kept walking though, with their scarves brushing their noses and the ends of their coats dancing in whatever wind they could catch. It would have been easy to go inside looking for warmth, maybe get some work done, or search for the kitchen which was where he and his friends were going to make the potion. But it was even easier to stay where he was, in the relentless cold, alongside the person that he wanted to defeat the most. 

"Do you see yourself as a hero, Shizuo?" 

If he was aiming for the lull of a taunt, he fell short. The question sounded monotonous, and his blank expression didn't do much to dissipate the dreary turn that he made their all around light conversation take. From the corner of his eye, he saw Shizuo raise a brow, making for a silence in which he was determining if Izaya actually wanted a serious answer to the question, instead of forming a reply.

"No." The response was simple, said so surely as if it was a fact. "What about you? Do you see yourself as a villain?" 

The two labels had been thrown at Izaya throughout his life. And he despised the both of them. _'Hero'_ they would call him whenever younger kids where being picked on, whenever his sisters or his friends were in trouble. _'Villain'_ they would claim once he pressed the edge of a blade to their necks, waiting for Celty to show up. 

"Villains. Heroes. I rather die than be either of those things. They're all stuck repeating the same history." His tone was ever so nonchalant, almost like he was reading off a story book to mindless listeners that would surely believe his words. But Shizuo wasn't mindless, he was irritatingly compassionate, and stubborn, and he would argue if Izaya mentioned even one concept that rubbed him the wrong way, and Izaya would argue back. He remained silent though, he always did in these rare moments when he could see that Izaya was being serious. He listened without any intention of making him stop.

"But I'm going to become something else," He continued, once more remembering the blood on his hands and the way he had made those kids look at him on that day.

"I'm going to become a monster that's going to change this world."

He grinned a little as he said it, the thought allowing adrenaline to pool in his chest till it reached his toes and his fingertips. 

"A monster that can't be defeated, huh?" 

Shizuo wasn't walking alongside Izaya anymore, and so he stopped too. He turned his head back lazily, feeling the twitch at his lips turn manic. His eyes wide, a screaming red glaring at Shizuo's hazel ones. There was about a metre of empty gravel between them, and the two just stared at each other, as if they were unbothered by the freezing cold. 

"Exactly." He was glad that the blonde could catch on so quickly. "And you're the beast that's going to try to stop me."

With that Shizuo mirrored his own expression, and they broke into a chase again. And as he ran with flushed cheeks and a laugh escaping his lips, he briefly wondered if a merciless potion could bring an end to this... This weird but fun tradition of theirs, that he wanted to keep alive for forever. 

-

_"Do you think we'll always be friends?"_

_-_

By the time they had stopped to rest on one of the benches the sky was even darker than before. The days ended much too quickly now, Izaya thought as he panted for breath, stretching his arms and almost whacking Shizuo at the back of the head by accident. He should be leaving by now, bidding Shizuo farewell or dragging him along because even a beast like Shizuo could stand the cold for so long. And he would have initiated it, but the smile he was trying for was a little too forced and Shizuo would call him out on it. 

The underlying feeling that Izaya had been dealing with for a while now, was that of being tired. He was sleep deprived sure, but he was also worn out of wondering if he was a lost memory to Shizuo or not. It shouldn't have mattered. It wouldn't have made a single difference. This was their relationship now, one that was all too different from the one they had before, when they were reaching for each other through the barrier and exchanging their names as if they were secrets. But maybe Shizuo remembered those days too, he thought, and he was all too selfish to not give into his curiosity.

"Shizu-chan." 

The silly nickname should have come out laced with mockery, the intent to annoy and irritate and absolutely nothing else. Instead it sounded as if Izaya was trying out the words, like getting back on the bike from your childhood that you hadn't touched in years. And then the seat is all too small, and you're much too wobbly and out of practice to enjoy the ride but nostalgia alone is enough to make the moment sweet. But this wasn't the same. His voice broke as he said it, a little taken aback by how much he missed the sound of it, and tears were stinging his eyes because there was a time when he shouted it out to the air so it could cross the barrier, with childish enthusiasm and sheer excitement. 

It hadn't lost its charm, he thought as he blinked away the threat at his eyes. He could tell Shizuo was looking at him, expression relatively blank.

"Do you remember me?" 

His emotions didn't get the best of him. His tone wasn't wobbly with sentiment, but it was far from indifferent too. It was exhausted, curious, and he wasn't even holding his breath awaiting the reply because he probably looked back on those days enough times for the both of them.

"Yeah." Shizuo said after looking away, because it was so much easier to look straight ahead than to try to meet each other's eyes. Izaya was stuck looking at the ground, scowling at the water drops falling next to his feet. First there was one, and two and three, till they got all too consistent for him to count fast enough.

He could've sworn it wasn't raining. 

"I mean you threw _a rock_ at me the first time we met. I couldn't forget you if _I tried."_

Laughter was tumbling out of his lips before he could stop it, but the world seemed all too bleary, and it was all too hard to breathe because although he would rather die than admit it, he missed those simple days. His heart couldn't handle it, after spending almost a decade pretending that he hadn't looked back without a second thought. He hadn't spoke to anyone about Shizuo (because how could he), only mentioned him as the newest kid that he had met, or as his greatest friend to whoever bothered to listen at the time. 

He was absolutely pathetic, falling apart just because things were different now. But if Shizuo thought so he didn't say much, jut got up from the bench with a sigh and crouched in front of Izaya with a small smile on his lips.

"I deal with kids like this all the time at the weekly story time thing," He admitted, and it was enough of an outlandish statement that the tears actually stopped flowing, "You're an uglier crier than all of them though," And he was pulling him into a hug, hands wrapped lightly around his back and chin resting on his shoulder. Izaya pouted so hard that Shizuo could probably feel it.

"I'm still going to beat you," He said stubbornly, a fresh wave of petulance conquering his words.

"I'm sure you'll try, you little monster."

Izaya ignored the mockery that sounded a little like affection.

"This changes nothing between us."

"I know."

"If you tell anyone about this, I'll kill you."

Shizuo chuckled at that.

Before thinking it through Izaya lightly wrapped his own arms around Shizuo and rested his head, making a silent promise for staining his coat with tears and snot.

"You really need to trim your hair."

"Really? Is this really the time for that?" He asked incredulously. Izaya couldn't help himself now that he could breathe a bit more easily and that his tone wasn't at the threat of sounding wobbly. The tears left his eyes droopy, and he was already closing them shut. In turn he opened his mouth without thinking about what he was even going to say, and not really caring about it either because he was half asleep as the words left his lips. 

"You used to be my best friend, you know." 

Shizuo would've missed the words if he weren't paying attention, even if they were muttered in close proximity to his ears.

"I know. You were mine too." 

This didn't mean anything, he thought to himself in the silence.

"Izaya?" 

It wasn't going to change much, except for at least lifting the suffocating feeling in his chest every time that he looked at Izaya. 

"Oh for fuck's sake."

They were going to repeat the same song and dance, because their routine consisted of occasionally spending lunch breaks playing tennis with their respective friends cheering them on and complaining about their chemistry assignments that they had to do together. And he wasn't really sure what Izaya was planning to do, but it probably wasn't going to change their dynamic because Shizuo would always catch him and put him in his place if need be. 

He didn't have much of a choice, he thought as he carried Izaya in his arms into the school. It's not like he could've left him on the bench to freeze in the cold, although Izaya would have probably been glad to do the same to him. He smiled politely at anyone that greeted him in the corridor, and supplied any questions about the sleeping Izaya in his arms with short but truthful answers. 

The school more or less knew about their odd little rivalry from how competitive they acted towards each other on a daily bases, but no one questioned it since they hadn't done anything too stupid yet, he thought as he stared at Izaya's door. The doors opened kind of like lockers did, by inserting a combination in the keypad next to every dorm. Mindlessly, he inserted the combination to door 104, suddenly grateful for the projects that they were forced to do together whenever the professors caught them grumbling and bickering together in class. They were all sadists, Shizuo had decided. 

He put Izaya down on his bed as gently as he could because he wasn't an absolute bastard, and even went the extra mile to grab a blanket and throw it over Izaya. 

Shizuo had always been taught to be kind and giving, and after spending a good amount of his life fussing over Kasuka, it was practically an intuition for him. And although Izaya was an annoying petulant brat, something about him made Shizuo want to spoil him a little. Well sometimes it just made him want to punch him in the face, but still. 

"A monster that can't be defeated, huh." He said with a little smile as Izaya visibly relaxed under the blanket.

As a kid he never really liked the idea of monsters. They were a different category from villains entirely because anyone could become a monster, he thought. The nights he spent scowling as he thought of the monsters under Kasuka's bed and his own were uncountable. 

But as he closed the door behind him to face the mountain of paper work that was awaiting him, he thought that if Izaya was a monster, then maybe monsters were never so bad after all. 

-

Erika didn't want to peek into Izaya's room, but the door was wide open and Izaya's voice wasn't ringing in the hallway like it usually did. So really she did it out of concern more than anything else. 

She didn't see much, just Shizuo laying Izaya down in bed before putting a blanket over him. She was curious sure, had a few dozen questions that she wanted to ask, but she stayed silent as she observed the scene play out with a grim expression, before turning around and heading into her own dorm as quietly as she could.

She thought of the love potion that they were going to have to make, all that trouble that they were going to have to go through. There would be an increase of _Affection and Infatuation_ he had said. 

As she replayed the scene in front of her, she wondered if the potion was really necessary at all, and if it was going to kill Izaya to use the potion on Shizuo. Because he may have spoke of the Prince as if he were his sworn enemy, but he always treated him like he was his very best friend.

\--

_Izaya had been a measly twelve years old when he came across a site that he should have never witnessed. He was on his way back from the market, letting his sisters who were at the time a little older than four years old to carry the groceries. He would have preferred to carry them himself, instead of letting them trudge their way home, lugging their food on the floor, but the brats had insisted, and so he let them._

_-_

_Izaya had been a measly twelve years old when he left his sisters alone for just a few seconds to get a new bug net from the nice old man that lived nearby in hopes of finding a few bugs to catch, albeit he would be catching them by himself._

_-_

_Izaya had been a measly twelve years old when he came back with a toothy grin and a new bug net to find his sisters surrounded by four kids who had to be at least fourteen years old. The fear he felt didn't make him any more skilled than he was, and the few seconds it took him to charge at them with two switchblades in hand didn't make him any older. Looking back he was more scared for his sisters and their food for the week than he was for himself. And not because he was selfless. No, he had always been the selfish type. He just knew he could take them on. He was quick and agile, not allowing them to catch him even for a moment, using the blades more to scare them off than to actually slash them. He opted for kicking them in the groin or punching them in the face to get their noses to bleed. A little blood always freaked out kids after all, even if it was eerily common to find it splattered in the alleyways of The Isle._

_-_

_Izaya had been a measly twelve years old when he stood in front of his sisters, tucking his switchblades away and looking blankly at the blood on his hands, the same blood getting under his nails. Nothing serious had happened, one of the kids got a little too annoying so Izaya slashed him on the arm. The cut wasn't deep, only enough to make him bleed, but in the confusion of the moment, the four of them looked at him as if he had just murdered someone. He rose a brow and gave them a dull look._

_'You're the worst villain on this island.'_

_'Why are you trying to play hero?'_

_Those were the jabs that he was prepared for. But as they got up with a tremor at their lips and teary eyes, he thought that they would spare him the insults. Three of them ran away, but the gutsy looking one, the one that had a bleeding arm, locked his gaze with Izaya's own._

_"You're a monster," He had said before walking away, leaving Izaya to stare at his retreating figure with his mouth agape._

_-_

_That night his mother had forced him to tell him why there was blood on his hands. She knew that he got into fights, but any time there was any blood she got all nosy, immediately thinking that he left someone dead on the concrete, which would have been bad because people on The Isle liked getting revenge on anyone that went around killing people._

_He told her the dull, boring truth, not really aiming for making it sound any less lackluster than it was to him._

_"They called me a monster." He said mostly to himself. He doubted his mother had even heard him, as she wasn't even looking at his face anymore. And if she did bother to face him, she probably would have missed the slight twitch of his lips that accompanied his otherwise blank expression._

_-_

_Izaya was a measly twelve years old when he decided to live up to the title that an obnoxious fourteen year old boy had given him._

_-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading and stay tuned for the next chapter my dudes


	8. 'Tis But A Slight Miscalculation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the new chapter, hope you all enjoy as always. Feel free to leave behind kudos if you're liking the story, and leave behind a comment telling me what you think!

Izaya stared lazily at his half written essay, while sending Shinra a few not so subtle glances, a silent plea for help. Erika and Celty had already finished their homework, so they left Izaya with the aspiring mad scientist who was practically just babysitting him at that point. 

"You're smart enough to do that assignment all on your own Izaya." It was said with exasperation, because they had already been there for an hour, and Shinra just had no faith that he was going to finish this without someone egging him on. 

Shinra was a bit of a weird guy to figure out. Probably the best way to describe him would be... unsettling. Most of the time he was just smiling blankly at whatever was playing out in front of him, no matter how mundane or disturbing it could be. Normally he was the annoying guy, heart set on his sometimes insane science experiments that he was competent enough to carry out all on his own. But he had these small, rare moments where he actually seemed human. And this was one of them, because he was visibly irked at Izaya's procrastination. 

He would have teased him for the compliment, if it weren't for the live press conference that was playing on TV. It had been going on for a while now.

_"We can't stay like this even if we wanted to. Eventually we're going to have to bring in more children from The Isle. And the sooner the better."_

Izaya forgot sometimes that Shizuo was a Prince, an _actual_ Prince that grew up with servants and ready made meals, and strict schedules and weird lessons. It was almost like looking at another person entirely, seeing him on TV, with a perfectly tailored suit while the mob of reporters asked questions with their flashing cameras. Among the chaos, he seemed somewhat... small. 

_"Prince Shizuo? Prince Shizuo over here please! You keep insisting that you won't be doing anything reckless, but you did bring over Orihara Izaya, Maleficent's son. If that's not reckless enough for you, are you planning to just break down the barrier?"_

Izaya grabbed the remote to turn off the TV as he heard his surname, the only thing that was really left to him by his father. He despised it. He hadn't used it in years, or uttered it once whenever he had to introduce himself. Normally back at The Isle, just 'Izaya' was enough since he had made quite the name for himself back there.

_"We won't be breaking down the barrier."_

His frustration was well pronounced.

_"Our goal is to get the majority of the youth out of there, and if possible, anyone that never did anything wrong to end up there."  
_

_"Doesn't this go against your father's wishes?"_

Izaya rolled his eyes at the question while Shizuo visibly went rigid, and he finally shut the TV off with the push off a button.

"Do you think he'll make a good king?" Shinra asked conversationally, giving Izaya a curious glance. He thought about that short temper, how it seemed like all of Avalon was so unsure of his declaration. And how almost small his presence seemed to be whenever he had to act like the Prince he was. There was always that spark in his eyes though, something off in his stance, as if he was holding himself back.

But sometimes, whenever they faced each other at the grounds, the both of them raw and wild with no facades or masks to hide behind, he'd look at Shizuo to see a King. A leader that was much different than their current one.

Izaya had only met Beast occasionally. And despite his grandiose presence that gave off the impression that he was born to rule, he was convinced that the man was just a shell of who he used to be, like all people on The Isle that used to be great. 

"I don't know," He responded nonchalantly, thinking that if Shizuo could never stop being so tame, not much would change. Avalon had lost it's king a long time ago anyway, as on the day the barrier was made, something in that man broke. He saw it in his eyes at the top of a hill for himself after all.

-

Izaya was waiting in the courtyard outside for Shizuo, as they had agreed to work on their lab report together at the library. It had been just a day after the merciless press conference, and about a week since Izaya unwittingly wore his heart on his sleeve and let the yearning for nostalgia get the best of him. He almost didn't remember what happened when he found himself waking up in his own bed, with soft blankets draped over him. As the conversation came back to him, the sweetness of the action made his tongue reminiscent of the taste of bile. The last time there was anyone that bothered to tuck him in, he could still enjoy a good night's rest.

Shizuo didn't bring it up much. He didn't treat Izaya any different and probably didn't tell a single soul either, which made Izaya despise the man all the more.

It was the little things that convinced him that the entire exchange hadn't been a dream. Like, in between chases and exchanging balls and dodging knives, Shizuo would ask stupid questions like, _'Remember when you cried that one time when the cicada you were chasing passed through the barrier and came to my side?'_

Izaya remembers. The tears, the whine escaping his lip, and Shizuo hastily doing his best to grab it himself, only to hand it over to a bickering Izaya after five minutes of exhausting attempts. Izaya always remembers. 

_'How could I ever forget?'_ he wants to say. 

It's always Shizuo asking the questions, bringing up the past in random moments, making the atmosphere sweeter. Izaya never asks. Because he only really has one question to voice, a question that he knows the answer to and doesn't at the same time, a question that makes him think that maybe, just maybe, there's something far more important than his pride, and his ambitions of changing their cruel world.

_'Why can't we be like how we were back then?"_

At that moment, as Izaya waited in the courtyard, catching a glimpse of Shizuo approaching from the distance (ignoring a flock of girls politely to get to Izaya no less), he thought that he wouldn't mind if they could forget everything and become best friends again. He wished to go back to the time when he was simply thinking about meeting Shizuo again, and not thinking about how he was going to spell him instead. 

"Always so popular, Shizu-chan," Izaya started, but all he got was a stern look, a warning to keep things civilized just for once. Izaya decided to humor him.

"Why didn't you just meet me at the library?" Shizuo asked, as their shoulders bumped and their walk took on a comfortable rhythm. He bit back a nervous smile, averted his eyes to look at the two girls at the distance who seemed jealous of him for hogging Shizuo all to himself. Much to their surprise, he stuck his tongue out shamelessly. 

"Well, Shizu-chan. I thought this could be romantic," He said, adding a flourish to the words by gesturing vaguely to the air around him, and offering a smile with the lie for good measure.

"You don't know where the library is, do you?" Shizuo asked dully, with a slight tilt of the head and a raised brow. Izaya scoffed. 

"You know me too well. It's scary," And he clicked his tongue to make a show out of his annoyance, because although somewhat endearing, it's really just irritating. Worrying even. Izaya had always been confident that he could fool just about anyone, even his closest friends and his sisters if need be. But Shizuo had this gift of seeing through his finely composed act within mere seconds, and he briefly noted that he would need quite the impressive lie and performance to pull off giving him the potion. 

"Yeah," Shizuo agreed easily, lips tugging upward, "It's not like I've known you since we were seven," And he bumped Izaya's elbow with his own. 

Izaya could have been an asshole and brought up the fact that they hadn't caught a glimpse of each other for the last eight years. But he was walking by Shizuo right then, and their steps were in sync as if the separation never happened, as if they're not going to butt heads one day in a way that can't be forgiven by offering a juice box as a peace treaty after a particularly harsh chase, and as if they weren't from two different worlds. 

"So cocky, so arrogant," he chided, "That goes both ways you know," He threatened smugly. Shizuo rolled his eyes and bit back a smile.

Izaya thinks the two of them are from a third world. The one where Avalon and The Isle meet, the one where the immaculate barrier has a single, subtle flaw, and the one where he caught a taste of the sun for the first time; when a blonde boy stumbled out of the woods and came up to pick a fight about _rocks._

-

It was late at night and cold when the four of them where working in the kitchen to get the potion done, decked out in their pajamas and everything. Izaya wanted to do it as soon as they got all the ingredients, uninterested in stopping for a moment to rethink his actions because that wasn't necessary, and he really didn't have time to waste. 

They stayed there for two hours, Celty on look out, Erika dealing with the more manual tasks because her hands weren't shaking as much as Izaya's were, while he and Shinra went over the dosage again and again, even if they had discussed it a dozen times at the newly discovered library earlier that day. Shinra mumbled a quiet, "Are you sure about this?", and Izaya only nodded his head and offered a small smile. 

Once they were done, Shinra and Celty both retired for the night. Shinra was the most exhausted out of all of them, since he had been dealing with both the actual making of the potion and the theoretical assumptions that went behind making it. He had insisted that Celty should help him to his dorm, and out of pity, she complied because he could barely stand on his two feet. 

It was just him and Erika left. He stared at the bottle in his hands, blood red liquid sloshing inside of it. There was no scent to it thankfully, making it easier to get in one good spray right in the face. But that's all they had really. One chance to do it correctly.

"Once you use this," Erika said while gesturing to the potion, looking so innocent in the clear glass vile, "Your plan starts."

Izaya looked up to meet her eyes, and smiled sharply at her tone of voice. A little unsure, a little lost, a little too familiar. 

"What?" He drawled, and she rose a brow, "You don't want me to carry out the plan? You want to stay like this forever? Living on this island, pretending to be friends with everyone, getting to enjoy the sun?"

"Well, you do." She said without missing a beat, tone accusing but somewhat soft. His smile crumbled and fell, allowing his lips to go into that straight line, the beginnings of a frown. 

She remained quiet, and he suddenly felt bare, and open, and all too vulnerable to feel like he was in control. He was always in control back at home. Even with his dad long gone, and dealing with his mother and his bickering sisters he had been in control. Why did things have to change now?

"It doesn't matter what I want," He said stubbornly, because he had told that to himself a million times, saying it out loud didn't make it some grand revelation. 

Erika gave him a sad look which he dismissed immediately with a role of his eyes. 

"You're an idiot," She accused, proceeding to ignore his scoff. And then, "You want to break the wand, don't you?" 

He didn't bother looking surprised because his friends knew him all too well, well enough to figure that out without him telling them.

"My intentions have always been obvious to your observing eyes, Erika-chan," He remarked playfully, grin appearing for a second before he lost the tug at his lips again.

"I imagine the others know too?"

She nodded, and the look in her eye was calculating, cautious, as if she was choosing her next words carefully. So, he killed the time by tracing lazy patterns on the hard wood of the table which was clean now, pestle and mortar put away in their original cabinets along with all the other apparatus that they had used.

"So when the wand breaks, the barrier breaks. And magic will cease to exist."

"Probably," He agreed. That had been the general goal.

"You don't like magic, do you Izaya?"

He wasn't much surprised that Erika had been able to guess that much, and he was sure that Celty and Shinra knew too. It wasn't a common opinion to have, even back at The Isle. And it wasn't like he ever put on a display of general distaste at the mentions of magic, so he wasn't so sure how they all figured it out. But maybe it was the little things, how his smile became a little strained whenever it was mentioned in class, or his slight annoyance when professors kept asking him if they had inherited any abilities from his mother, almost like he didn't even want them in the first place.

"My mom would tell me about magic when I was younger. The Fairy Godmother talked about it when she took me to observe that story time session that Prince Shizuo and Vorona have that one time." Izaya nodded vaguely because he remembered her mentioning it. 

"The little kids in those sessions talked about it too. The magic in the air, the sparks that fly around that make them feel warm and light, and like they can fly," She said with an almost wistful look in her eye. He listened all too intently.

"It can also create an impenetrable barrier that traps hundreds of innocent people," He said offhandedly.

"Yes," She agreed easily. "I just can't help but wonder. What right do we, or you have for that matter, to rid the world of that magic?" 

The words weren't berated, they were simply said; in the form of a question, that could only leave him to wonder if his aspirations had been wrong this whole time. As Erika left the kitchen, the bags under his eyes felt heavier, and the vile that was shoved in the pocket of his sweat pants held the weight of the world.

-

_They were nine years old when they had met at the barrier at night. Shizuo had insisted on it because of the stars, and all the wonderful constellations._

_Izaya was never interested in such things. The stars were blurry from his side, after all, and the barrier simply wasn't clear enough for him to make up a single constellation. But everything Shizuo did was so loud, from the way he smiled to the way he walked, that Izaya couldn't help but follow in suit._

_"And that's the Big Dipper," He had said, drawing the constellation on a piece of paper so that Izaya could see, leaving it up to his imagination to make it bigger, grander._

_"And the stars can lead you home if you're lost?" He'd asked, curious and child like._

_"Yeah! Like if you follow the second star to the right and straight on till morning, you'd arrive at Neverland!"_

_He looked up as he heard the words, squinting at the sky as if he hadn't tried a dozen times before._

_"Don't worry," Shizuo said reassuringly, "I'll make sure that you see the stars one day."_

_Izaya looked at him with certain awe in his eyes._

_"Promise?" He asked shyly, before regretting it. Promises never got you anywhere at The Isle._

_"Promise!" Shizuo confirmed before he could take it back, placing his fist against the barrier until Izaya hit it with his own._

_Izaya looked at that toothy grin, and briefly thought that if he ever needed to find his way back home, he'd just follow the star that would lead him to Shizuo._

_-_

Izaya couldn't sleep. He was already thinking that as he trudged back to his dorm, just steps away from opening his door before stopping, hand a little shy of the doorknob. He heard the gentle footfalls, a pair of feet padding across the soft carpet that hid the hard wooden floorboard that lied beneath. He made out a figure when it turned the corner at the distance, dim lamp light catching the strands of blonde hair. 

"Shizu-chan," Izaya greeted quietly, unable to keep his voice clean of surprise. He ripped his hand away from the pockets of his sweatpants, not wanting to allow it to hover there, and crossed his arms. He whipped out a fresh smile despite the late hour. It was nearing midnight after all. "I didn't expect you to be so much of a night owl." He said, tone playful and breezy.

Shizuo seemed to be caught off guard too, but just as Izaya resorted to his smiles, he went back to scowling, mumbling out a "Couldn't sleep," before leaning against the wall, staring outside the window as if to bathe in moonlight. This was the Prince that was soon to be a reigning King, Izaya wanted to think, but despite the heavy feeling on his chest, he approached further, because the man in front of him was once a boy covered in dirt. 

"I saw your press conference the other day." 

Izaya talked to fill the gaps of silence, the silence that dominated the halls of his own home for the longest while before he realized that he could so easily get rid of it when it felt like too much to handle. Shizuo groaned a little as he mentioned it. 

"Honestly, the reporters on this island aren't saints at all. The lot of them are all villains." Izaya cackled at the misery in Shizuo's tone, keeping his gaze fixed on the moon as the two of them shared the space of the window sill, elbows touching because of the lack of space.

"It's absurd to divide people under the category of good or bad," He started somewhat patronizingly, "People are either charming or tedious."

Shizuo looked at him from the corner of his eye and rose a brow. "And which of the two do you think you fall under?" 

The question was almost sarcastic. Izaya hummed a little as he thought about it.

"You tell me, beast." There was a bite to the words, and he turned his head a little to meet his gaze, a challenge teetering at the edges of danger and playfulness in the silence between them. Shizuo huffed out a sigh and opted for the latter. 

"You're fucking annoying, that's what you are." 

Izaya barked out a laugh, and only received a stern look for it because they were supposed to keep quiet. 

"You really amuse me Shizu-chan," He admitted, turning to look at the sky outside once more. The grin on his lips disappeared, fell down a little too quickly for it to have been genuine.

"I hate you for it." 

He meant the words. Shizuo was a man that he couldn't help but hate, in a way.

"I'm not so fond of you either. You made me give you a personal invitation just so you could make a joke out of me," He chastised while hitting Izaya at the back of the head lightly, and he chuckled at Shizuo's annoyance. 

"I'm surprised you understood that much. But those weren't my only intentions." 

Shizuo offered a somewhat curious hum as Izaya kept his eyes on the stars, briefly remembering the constellations that Shizuo had tried to teach him all those years ago. 

"I wanted to test the Prince of Avalon, see what my competition was made of. This might come as a surprise to you, but back at The Isle, I'm somewhat of a Prince myself."

Shizuo looked at him as if he didn't doubt the words for a second.

"I had no castles, or a throne and a crown to go with it. But a throne is just a fancy chair. A crown is a weight of gold. Don't you think?" 

It's not like Izaya was respected because of who his mother was. He had made a name all for himself, and it was whispered in alleyways as a warning to anyone that tried to go against him. The path of sharp smiles and bloody knives had been quite easy to pave for him.

"When it comes down to it, I believe it's all up to the presence you give off. Your presence is... how can I put this... small?" 

Shizuo gave him this unreadable look, like he was somewhat beguiled while trying to fit in the last piece of the puzzle.

"Thanks," He said dryly, not even bothering to put up a fight, "But you're here giving me genuine advice and it's almost midnight so... I'm assuming you can't sleep?" 

Izaya gave him an amused smile.

"Nope," He drawled lazily, "My sisters would follow me to bed even though I told them off every time. Ever since getting my own comfortable bed I can't seem to close my eyes." He remembered the complaining and the bickering of every night before he gave into their habits. His bed was far too small for three people, but he remember it being so warm, and the awkward angles they would all wake up in were now dearly missed.

"Those brats can't stop ruining my life even though I'm on another island." He laughed to soften the words, but it sounded all too bitter. 

"Maybe we can help each other," Shizuo said quietly. He beckoned him to continue with a short hum under his breath.

"My mum always said that it's easier to sleep with someone else close to you," He explained vaguely, and Izaya ignored what he was implying, deciding to shift his weight and turn his head, so he could face Shizuo properly with a small smirk.

"Oh? The great Shizuo-sama can't sleep?" He all but drawled, and his smile fell a little when the blonde didn't give into his teasing, didn't scowl or tell him to shut up like he usually did.

"I got some pretty awful news. I'm in a bad situation and I can't get out of it." He confessed. 

"You don't wanna talk about it?" 

"Nope."

They fell back into silence after that, neither one of them showing the intention to move any time soon. 

"The Big Dipper," Izaya suddenly mumbled when he returned his gaze to the window, leaning forward until his face was almost pressed against the glass. It was the first constellation that Shizuo had told him about. 

"You remember?" 

"You had the loudest presence when we were kids," He said absentmindedly, ignoring Shizuo's question.

Izaya had never cared about constellations when he was younger. But Shizuo had been so excited about them.

"Hey Shizu-chan. I'm sure you always wanted to free the kids at The Isle. And I know you say that you invited me here because I'm Maleficent's son and all that. But is there any other reason?" 

He wasn't sure why he was asking such a question. There wasn't much to gain from it except to get rid of a little curiosity. 

"I suppose so," Shizuo mumbled with slightly furrowed brows, "My memory isn't the best but I never forgot you, you know."

He was almost sheepish as he said it.

"You said that you wanted to see the sun back then. And I wanted to show you the stars anyway."

All their encounters in their younger years came tumbling down, racing across his mind as he began to understand Shizuo's intentions. Even if Izaya had probably turned into an enemy, Shizuo couldn't let go of the past either because, 

"And you made a promise that you would show me," And the words were spilling from his lips before he could taste their coherency, as his mind was working ten times faster than his tongue could.

As Shizuo gave him that tiny smile that was nothing short of fond, he remembered the vile in his pocket and felt like he just might cry.

-

_"Shizu-chan!" He had greeted on that sunny day, giddy excitement rushing through him even as Shizuo tripped over himself and fell face flat on the ground. He shook it off though, ran to the barrier after glaring at the ground below him._

_"You remember what day it is?" He asked while fiddling nervously with his hands._

_"4th May," Shizuo said proudly, "Your 8th birthday." And he puffed his chest out because he had fulfilled his promise of remembering the date._

_Birthdays weren't much of a big deal on The Isle, but that wasn't the norm for Izaya and his family. His mother had always insisted on attempting to celebrate, and year after year the cake seemed to be getting a little better. He thought that one day, it just might be edible._

_"I'm sorry I couldn't get you a gift though," He apologized, even if Izaya hadn't been exactly paying attention._

_He noticed that Shizuo was panting a little, and wondered if he ran all the way here, wondered how much his heart was beating, and if it were beating for him._

_"I don't need a gift," He mumbled absentmindedly, gaze locked on Shizuo's chest, as if he was somewhat entranced by it heaving up and down. Shizuo seemed to take notice of this, and tilted his head in question._

_"Your heart... is it beating really fast?"_

_Shizuo scratched his chin, as if he was deep in thought, before deciding, "Yeah."_

_"Can I feel it too?"_

_-_

_It took quite some convincing. Shizuo was blushing and frowning, making it more of a big deal than it actually was. At the end though, he got over the embarrassment, and over his own pride. And Izaya wasn't surprised because he always seemed to give in for him._

_So he got as close to the barrier as he could, rested his forehead against it too, and closed his eyes as Izaya tried to get his hand to fit through. The clear wall wobbled at the contact, as if it were water, rippling under the palm of his hand. His touch was greedy, trying to break through, but he couldn't seem to reach it._

_Izaya sighed, a signal that he was giving up, but Shizuo stood their, brows scrunched together and forehead wrinkled as he waited impatiently, and for some reason it made him want to try again._

_He reached out, palm wide open, in a manner that was more curious than selfish, and the more gentle touch was all he needed to push his hand a little further in, till he was touching the light material of a summer t-shirt. He stared at his hand touching Shizuo's chest, feeling his heart beat against his fingertips. It was steady and constant. Unwavering, just like Shizuo._

_The boy in question still had that almost pained look on his face, and Izaya laughed._

_"You look stupid!" He blurted out, laughing as he said the words._

_"You're the stupid one!"_

_Shizuo opened his eyes to be greeted with Izaya's toothy grin, and with a stubborn scowl he looked at the hand that was over his heart._

_"It's gentle," He mumbled, and Izaya wondered if he was referring to his hand over Shizuo's heart._

_His touch had never been described as gentle before._

_-_

_On his ninth birthday, Shizuo found himself running away from home, bundled up in sweaters and hats, scarves and mittens. It was late January, and it was cold. Snow dusted the forest, but he could still make his way throughout the pathways despite the challenges that would probably have defeated any other kid. But he knew the place like the back of his hand, and although he was small he was brave enough to keep going despite the patches of slippery ice._

_Izaya was already on the other side, wearing warm clothes of his own, even if they were obviously not nearly as good a quality as Shizuo's own. He frowned at the thought._

_When he got close enough, Izaya pressed his body against the barrier, face tilted a little backwards so that it wouldn't receive the same treatment. And then, he closed his eyes and spread his arms, as if to make an offering of himself. Shizuo was very confused. Izaya must have forgotten that the 28th was his birthday. He was going to point it out (not that he cared much, it was Izaya who started making a fuss out of these things, not him), but the boy lazily opened an eye, and tilted his head as if Shizuo was the one behaving weirdly._

_It was only when his sharp gaze flitted between Shizuo and his own chest that he understood._

_"Are you sure?" He asked, not knowing if he was crossing any boundaries._

_"I'm making this a tradition, so yes," Izaya said matter of factly."Besides, I ran all the way here, and my heart is thumping really weird now!"_

_Shizuo gagged while Izaya pouted._

_-_

_Maybe removing his glove wasn't the best idea, because his right hand was freezing. But that way, he could feel Izaya's heart thumping a lot better. It was rapid and loud, carrying the sensation through his rib cage to the beginnings of Shizuo's fingers, and he did his best to hold his open palm out gently._

_"It doesn't feel weird," He said, sounding distracted even to his own ears._

_-_

_"We're gonna miss each other's birthdays," Izaya complained when they were ten years old, on the same day that Shizuo had told him that he couldn't cross the forest anymore. They had just woken up from a nap, and the sun was already setting._

_Shizuo pouted at the realization, and thought, very childishly, that if he couldn't spend his birthdays with Izaya, then he didn't want to celebrate his birthdays at all._

_-_

Izaya didn't know what time it was. But the room was dark, except for stray moonlight that filtered in through the curtains. 

He got settled in bed hours ago, just like he had done every other night. Except this wasn't his room, and this wasn't his bed, and he most definitely wasn't alone. They argued a little at first, complaining about every little thing. Izaya was taking too much space, while Izaya defended that he wasn't taking up nearly enough space. Shizuo was hogging all the blankets, he had declared, but Shizuo only responded by stealing even more of the blankets. 

The two slept back to back, and Izaya managed to doze off for a while before waking up again. As he turned around to face Shizuo, he noticed that the guy was a turner in his sleep, and before he knew it, their faces were a little too close with their noses almost touching. At some point before falling asleep, the blonde must have relented, and surrendered more of his blankets to Izaya.

Moonlight and shadows used Shizuo's face as a canvas of sorts, he thought as he heard the other's steady breathing. The moment was odd, warm and comfortable, and Shizuo's skin glowed in whatever light it caught. It was as if both the sun and the moon constantly wanted to bathe the man in their colours. Without registering what he was doing, he tentatively reached out his hand to press it against his chest.

Shizuo was a little too asleep to feel or see anything, but Izaya wondered if his touch was as gentle as it was back then, transfixed by its familiarity. 

"Just a few years too late," He muttered.

With a sigh he reached into his pocket, gently tugging the vile free of its confines, and without thinking it through, he pointed it at Shizuo and sprayed it right at his face after holding his own breath. He hid the bottle again immediately, and felt nothing short of mesmerized as he saw the red vapor swirl around the air, caressing Shizuo's cheeks until the unusual colour dissipated from the air. After a few seconds he deemed it was safe enough the breath.

This was all a little too convenient. The last step of getting the love potion to work correctly, was making sure that after it's sprayed, the victim is looking at the correct person. There was no one else to look at, he thought feeling a little distrait, as Shizuo slowly opened his eyes.

"Shizu-chan," He greeted, and the words tumbled out of his lips as if they were bile. The man blinked once, and then twice, before yawning.

"Shameless," He quipped.

"You still can't sleep?" He mumbled, warm hazel eyes looking at his own red ones.

"I slept a little," He admitted, feeling a smile tugging at his lip despite himself.

_This is Hell._

"Well then shut up," Shizuo grumbled, "Do us both a favor and sleep."

He grabbed the back of Izaya's head and pulled him closer till his face was against his own chest, keeping him from being able to say anything coherent. 

So he laughed even if it came out a little muffled, and ignored the lump building up at the back of his throat. 

-

A week had passed since Izaya gave Shizuo the potion. He could say that he saw only the most drastic change in his personality, that Izaya became the apple of his eye, and that he sometimes caressed his cheek lovingly. But even he wasn't that much of a good liar.

Shizuo remained the same as he always had been. A generally oblivious, quick to anger beast that entertained him whenever they raced or played tennis. If Izaya did become the apple of his eye, he wasn't showing it, and the only time that Shizuo's hand met Izaya's face was when he slapped him when he was being too loud in the library. 

But he couldn't think about it on that day because the Fairy Godmother had just dropped them off at the courtyard, among the children. Where he and his friends had to read books and serve tea and sandwiches. 

"You're really leaving us unsupervised?" He asked her. She only rose a brow.

"You _are_ the supervision."

He wanted to die.

-

Things went to shit immediately. The brats weren't too thrilled of sitting down and behaving, and when Izaya brought up the idea of threatening them, Shinra unhelpfully stated that the act of threatening children, or anyone for that matter, was illegal on Avalon. 

It was Mikado who got into a bad mood first, because Izaya hadn't noticed him immediately. In truth, Izaya didn't know that the kid was going to be there at all, and after explaining briefly to his friends that yes, they had met each other before, they forced him to let the kid sit on his lap because he clearly wanted to spend time with Izaya.

-

The bastards wanted Celty to read. 

Needless to say, some cried when they realized that she couldn't actually speak. A particularly gutsy girl, Isabelle, daughter of sleeping beauty and about eight years old if he'd remembered correctly, managed to take off her helmet when she was crouched down passing around sandwiches. 

There were screams and tears. Celty panicked. Erika kept three children from running away. Shinra was upset that Erika stopped his escape before calling him a child.

And Izaya laughed.

-

"You had _one job,"_ Shizuo said incredulously after the hour and a half were over. Ten out of the seventeen children were crying, for reasons that Izaya wasn't fully aware of, and Mikado was still hugging him at his side because Izaya gave up on prying him off of him half an hour ago.

"And I did it _splendidly,"_ He replied with a smug grin.

The Fairy Godmother was pinching the bridge of her nose and using quite the extreme breathing exercises at the sight in front of her.

"Did you even _try_ to get them to stop crying?" Shizuo asked him, ignoring Vorona's somewhat tense gaze on him, so Izaya ignored it to.

"Shizu-chan, we tried everything," He said seriously, remembering how just an hour ago he was handing them all oranges while scolding them to stop crying.

At the end, it was decided that they all passed anyway, because no one had gone missing and everyone's limbs were still in tact. 

"This was fun!" Isabelle decreed amongst the crying children, "You guys should be in charge of this again sometimes!"

Shinra was the first to run away.

-

It was only later that day in the training grounds that Shizuo seemed to be acting differently. For once Izaya wasn't paying him much attention, instead fooling around with all the different types of swords and foils on the sturdy wooden table, tracing his index finger against the metal as if to see just how much better their quality was than any weapon that could be found on The Isle. 

He could feel Shizuo's steady gaze at the back of his neck, as if he was studying and observing him intently, and after a few minutes of silence, Izaya decided to take the plunge. He put the kodachi sword back on the table, turning around to lean against it, smile plastered on his face at the ready to receive an overdue confession. A week had passed after all. The love potion had to have taken some effect, even if he used a relatively weak dosage.

"If you want to say something Shizu-chan you might as well get on with it," He said airily, only to get a scowl in return. He was expecting perhaps a blush, an aversion of the gaze, or at least slightly more bashful behavior. But Shizuo just approached, until he was right in front of him.

"I can't stop thinking about you." 

Izaya's smile was so strained that he felt self conscious about it. The words were said almost incredulously, so he laughed at their sound hoping to ease the atmosphere around them.

"What? Is this your way of confessing your undying love for me?" He started loftily, "But really Shizu-chan. You're saying that as if you don't believe it! Worry not, though. I'm known for my benevolence, so I suppose I'll accept your feelings."

Something was wrong. Shizuo should have been acting like a love sick dog, he should have been looking at him with affection, but his mannerisms were far from affectionate.

"You're right," He said finally, "I don't believe it."

Izaya gave him a confused look before his words caught up with him, and before he had even a chance to react their where hands on the collar of his shirt, lifting him up until his feet could barely touch the ground, and he was forced to grab a hold at Shizuo's arms in order to not suffocate. He shot him a sharp smile, only to deepen Shizuo's scowl furthermore.

"So forward Shizu-chan! I thought we should at least start with a date!"

It was difficult to keep up the innocent act when he couldn't breathe all too well, but Shizuo's hold on him was unwavering just like the glare in his eyes, so Izaya didn't look away for a moment.

"Izaya-kun," He seethed, and his smile almost turned into a grimace when he heard the familiar nickname. It used to be so endearing to hear, so pure, but now it was nothing short of a threat. 

"What the hell did you do to me?" 

He cut off the silence that followed with a sharp laugh, simultaneously reaching for the folding knife in his pocket to slice at the air around him. He only had the intentions of setting himself free, but despite Shizuo's beast like reflexes, the blade slashed past his left arm, ripping the sinews of his shirt and leaving behind a shallow cut. Blood dripped from the knife as he finished the motion, staining the grass red. 

"Really, Shizu-chan?" He drawled as he grabbed a small cloth that he carried around to wipe off the knife before holding his arms up in surrender. He wasn't going to get out of this alive if he didn't calm him down in some way after all, "Is the idea of you falling for me so difficult to believe?" 

Shizuo glowered at him, and Izaya couldn't help but smile wider, the pull of his lips feeling sharkish and raw.

"Smart man," he jested. 

Lying wasn't going to work. But, if he twisted the truth just right, he might just get away with it. 

"I might have made a slight... miscalculation?" 

Shizuo sighed with exasperation at his unsure tone, and Izaya thought that maybe, just maybe, he would live to see another sun rise.

-

_On the day that they were planning to make the potion, Izaya met Shinra in the library to properly calculate the dosage. It was annoying work, but some of the most important. But at the end, when he was happy with the final result, he only got a distressed look from Shinra._

_"This isn't the normally recommended dosage... why did you decrease the amount of Fallax Amor petals?" Shinra had told him plainly, eyes narrowed._

_Those petals had been one of the more difficult ingredients to get. They could have been mistaken for black roses, except that their pollen tubules were so long that they hung outside of the petals. Their name, literally translating to 'Deceptive Love', was given to them because their were chemicals in their scent that triggered off the emotions of infatuation within the brain. They were quite harmless with temporary symptoms._

_When used in such a potion though, their effects were merciless. Such a potion was worse than death, and it was forgotten in the books of old, never to be used again. Well, until now. Anyone who managed to survive through the potion described the feeling to be like that of drowning, unless they were right next to the person that they fell for. Their thoughts would get all muddled up, their lives would be close to meaningless. Their personalities would be lost, as they would just turn into mindless rag dolls, waiting for their affections to be returned. The misery that could come from lack of mutual infatuation usually drove them to madness._

_A punishment worse than death._

_There are antidotes of course, with ingredients that are attainable. The difficult part was matching the antidote's dosage with that of the potion. If it was even a decimetre cube off, it wouldn't reverse the effects._

_"I know, and I'm adjusting it." He explained._

_"Theoretically this might not even work," His friend had told him while adjusting his glasses, making Izaya's smile go tight._

_"I think I know what I'm doing Shinra."_

_And he did very much know what he was doing. He was being selfish, because that's all he's every knew._

_"I believe you," he'd said, "So tell me, Izaya. What are you planning to do?"_

_He felt small, so very small when the question was asked. And he couldn't have laughed it off because Shinra wasn't going to let up, and the excuses in his head were scurrying around too quickly for him to grab, so he scratched the back of his neck as he tried to make sense of things._

_"I just want to keep my friend around for as long as I can." He had said._

_Shinra's face slowly lit up with realization, as if everything suddenly made sense, and Izaya almost asked him what was going through that head of his, because he didn't want someone as eccentric as that misunderstanding his intentions. He wanted the potion to work. He wanted his plan to work. He just wanted Shizuo by his side too. He huffed out a breath at the impossibility of his own wishes._

_The two of them weren't even from the same side._

_"Okay Izaya," He had said quietly, in a way that made him think that Shinra understood his words even more than he himself did, "Okay."_

_-_


	9. Lies, Lies, Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is very dialogue heavy, but I think it is necessary because of the recent developments of the story. I did my best to balance it out though, so I hope it's a good chapter nonetheless!

"You spelled me?!" 

"Oh please. Do shout a little louder Shizu-chan, I don't think everyone in the palace heard you!" 

Shizuo was taking the news as well as Izaya expected he would. That was, very badly. But he hadn't been murdered in cold blood yet so the reaction wasn't all that bad when everything was taken into consideration. He just had to keep it all under control, including Shizuo, who had an uncanny resemblance to a wild beast.

"Relax," He coaxed, keeping his hands in the air in front of him, ready to dodge any hurling objects or a tackle if need be. He had a strict no knife throwing policy flashing in his head, because the last thing he needed was to provoke him.

"I did it as a light prank Shizu-chan! Thought we could get a good laugh from it you know?" 

"A good laugh? Izaya, are you kidding me?!" 

His heart stuttered at Shizuo's voice, because besides the rage that was ever so prominent there was something else. Something like desperation. His smile was crumbling before he could even pick up the pieces.

"What? Is falling in love with me _that_ horrible?"

The question was meant to mock. He _knew_ how to make it sound the way he wanted it to. But the tug at his lips was a little too small and a little too sad, so it fell short of his goal. But he shrugged it off immediately, ignored how Shizuo's anger seemed to dissipate in thin air just to be replaced with a sense of helplessness.

"Anyway, doesn't matter," He said airily, hiding behind a wide smile that the blonde could probably see through within seconds, "The joke is over. I'll make the antidote tonight, okay?"

_As if I'll let you off the hook that easily._

Izaya was already turning around to make his leave as he said it, but then there was a hand grabbing at his wrist. He turned his head and rose a brow in question. Shizuo all of a sudden seemed very flustered.

"You can't stay around a little longer?"

He was confused at first, that is before he caught on. The side effects of the potion were kicking in. He was finally getting clingy. 

"Hm? Why?" He asked while turning around completely.

Feigning ignorance was clearly the best course of action. Shizuo frowned a little.

"Don't pretend like you don't know what's going on. You did this to me," He reminded, scrunching his brows together making his forehead wrinkle. Izaya tapped his chin with his index finger and folded his arms, doing his absolute utmost to not burst out laughing.

"My memory is so awful, honestly. Tell me what I did again?" 

"You never forget anything." Shizuo commented dryly, only a tinge of the blush left as the annoyance he felt for Izaya clearly outweighed the symptoms of the potion. Magic couldn't do miracles, after all. But Izaya didn't budge. He just waited patiently, with his lips pulling into a grin while he watched Shizuo suffer.

"I just need you-"

"Ah, you need me,"

"Okay, yeah I give up. Screw you Izaya-"

"Wait," He called as he saw the blonde turning to make his leave, not even attempting at suppressing his laughter anymore. He could only be so cruel after all. "I'll stop teasing you, _and_ I'll keep you company till I make the antidote tonight," He promised, and couldn't help but smile when Shizuo seemed to give in.

"Just, one thing."

"What?" Shizuo asked dully.

"If you were so intent on leaving just moments ago," He started, grinning cheekily while raising his wrist, "Why did you keep holding onto me?"

Shizuo let his hand go as if it suddenly caught on fire, and Izaya could only let out a loud and obnoxious laugh. 

-

"Did anyone ever tell you that you laugh like a hyena?" 

The two were still in the training grounds killing some time while passing a volleyball that they found lying around in the nearby gym. Izaya had told Shizuo that he had everything prepared for the antidote, and then they could just go to the kitchen late at night to make it. Everything was going according to plan, more or less. He'd just give him wrong doses of the antidote till the coronation. He just had to be careful as to how he would go about it, because if Shizuo lost faith in him and decided to ask someone from the palace to reverse the spell, he would be as good as dead. 

"Yeah," He replied pouting a little as the ball made contact with his hands, _"You_ did. When we were _seven."_

Shizuo had the audacity to chuckle.

"You know you hurt my feelings Shizu-chan. I'm now insecure about my laugh. It's horrible." He said petulantly.

"Well you spelled me," He replied, lacking the venom that it should have had.

"So we're even," Izaya reasoned.

The volleyball hit him straight in the face.

-

Before they knew it the day was done, and they found themselves sneaking in the kitchens so that Izaya could hurry up and make the antidote. Really, it was all too easy to lie with how everything was planned out.

"Pretty convenient that you have everything you need for the antidote," Shizuo remarked while he made sure to divide the concentration of the flower petals by two. 

"Well I was only gonna keep you on the potion for a little while. It's just a prank Shizu-chan, not some cruel punishment," He chided, and Shizuo only hummed in response as he rummaged through the cabinets out of boredom.

_Lies, lies, lies._

The coronation was in late December, the beginning of Winter. It was only November at the time, so Izaya had to make sure to keep him on the potion till then. Although, once he took the wand, there was a big chance that Shizuo would overcome the spell all on his own. See, it was quite tricky to reverse its effects, but other things besides an antidote could be used. 

The potion wouldn't have worked in the first place if Shizuo was in love with someone else, so that meant that no one had caught the attention of the Prince's eye. Any actions shocking enough would be enough to break the spell, so once Izaya took the wand, Shizuo's anger would most definitely overpower it, and he would be chasing Izaya with the intent to kill. He almost winced at the thought. 

"Here you go," He said, staring at the canary yellow liquid that sloshed in the vile, a dead giveaway that the dosage was incorrect. For it to actually work, it should have been colourless. He smiled as he handed it over. "It will start kicking in after about a week, so just keep me updated."

_Lies, lies, lies. It's supposed to work instantaneously._

Shizuo took the vile a little wearily, scrunching his brows as if he was thinking real hard about something. 

"I solemnly swear that I'm not trying to poison you, Shizu-chan," He drawled, smiling lazily as the blonde rose a brow.

"That doesn't mean much when it's coming from _you."_

Izaya feigned offence as he opened the vile and drank it as if it was a shot.

"Feel any different?" He asked, the lilt in his question meant only to tease, "Or are you still in love with me?" 

Shizuo somehow had the ability to frown even harder than before. 

"It doesn't feel like I'm in love with you if I'm being honest," He said after a little while. He wore that same expression, as if he was remembering something hazily. Izaya propped his elbows on the table, rested his chin in the palms of his hands and looked up at Shizuo through his lashes.

"Does that mean you know what being in love feels like?" He asked, tone saccharine sweet. So he waited for a glare, for that groan of annoyance, for Shizuo to storm out of the kitchen or for him to hit him with his elbow. Instead, he got that expression that he could never read, and his smile fell because he could normally read people like an open book. His smile fell because no one ever questioned Izaya's facades except for Shizuo. His smile fell because that beast made him feel like he lost the control he had on everything around him for all his life.

"Maybe."

The reply was so genuine that it left Izaya feeling numb. And for the hell of it, he wondered who Shizuo was thinking about, what the person had ever done to make his expression go so soft, and ignored the emotion bubbling in his chest, because it felt a lot like jealousy. 

Little did he know, Shizuo was thinking about a raven haired boy that sauntered around like he owned the place, with bruised knees and a smile that was brighter than the sun.

-

Izaya was getting somewhat used to waking up at odd hours of late night or early morning to answer the knock at the door of his room. Every time he'd wake up groggy and confused, the dark under his lashes easily mistaken for some sort of weird and abnormal black eye.

"I can't sleep," Shizuo said once he answered the knock, just like he did a few nights ago when he brought up the problem for the first time. Izaya was actually impressed by his fortitude. He managed to go through an entire week sleeping without his company after he took the useless antidote that was prepared for him., before caving in and deciding that Izaya's company was more necessary than his pride.

"Don't just stand there then, come on in," Izaya offered, too drowsy to bother at teasing or mockery, too tired to feel even a little bashful at getting so used to sharing his bed. At this point he was spending more nights sleeping with Shizuo than without him. He was always gone by morning though, somehow more agitated and worried at the thought that other people realized where the Prince was sleeping than Izaya was. He didn't take any offence by this of course, only groaned at the heat that Shizuo robbed him of in the morning. 

But although Izaya had opened the door and stepped to the side so that Shizuo could make his entrance, the blonde just stood there, a grimace on his lips.

"It's not working," He said simply. Izaya rubbed his eyes.

"You really want to talk about this right now?" He asked, feeling a little hurt before hating himself for it, "We'll figure something out in the morning."

Shizuo didn't look all too satisfied with the offer, but he only chewed the inside of his cheek before complying, perhaps feeling that it was a little too late to argue. 

They settled in a little more easily then Izaya would have liked. There should have been more tension in the air, they should have fidgeted around trying to get comfortable. It was all too _easy._ Shizuo had always been too easy. 

Too easy to get addicted to when he was seven. To easy to remember throughout the years. Too easy to fight and argue with. Too easy to hate. 

"Why hasn't it worked?" He asked quietly after they had already tucked themselves in. Izaya sighed as if he had been wondering the same thing, as if he was none the wiser.

"I probably just got the dosage wrong. Don't worry though, I'll figure something out."

Izaya was about to close his eyes to try and get some rest, but since they were facing each other he could see the worry in Shizuo's expression.

"Why are you always making that face?" He asked while reaching out to smooth the wrinkles on his forehead, and ignored how he seemed to relax at Izaya's touch, "You look constipated, you know."

He scowled.

"And to clarify, it is not a good look on you." 

Shizuo flicked his forehead but he smiled through it. "Well?" He prompted, wanting an answer.

"I dunno. I guess I don't want to only be close to you, I also want to... touch you?"

He phrased it like it was a question, and despite the blush creeping up his neck Izaya let out a laugh to tumble past his lips and into the empty air between them. Shizuo looked like he really wanted to give him a black eye at the moment. 

"It's just another symptom of the potion. So touch me if you need to," He said nonchalantly, while Shizuo spluttered helplessly. He rose a brow.

"Don't say it like that!" He reprimanded, "You're making it sound _weird."_

Izaya gave him a look. "What about this isn't weird?" He asked wryly, and was ever so amused when Shizuo huffed out a sigh of defeat.

And then, he decided to wait patiently, quietly, staring at Shizuo to see what he'd do. He took endless joy at making him feel uncomfortable, with the small smile at his lips judging him silently. Eventually, Shizuo gave in, groaning a little helplessly as he draped an arm over him.

Izaya wasn't impressed, to say the least.

"Okay," He mumbled casually, "I'll deal with it myself then," He added, but to both of them it sounded as if he was saying _'Your incompetency knows no bounds.'_

Shizuo would have complained, that is, if Izaya hadn't latched onto him as if his life had depended on it. 

Unlike some people, Izaya had no shame in wrapping his arms around Shizuo's abdomen, using one of them to poke at Shizuo's ribs till it broke through to the other side. His right arm was squashed between the mattress and Shizuo's weight, and it met with his left arm that draped across his stomach. And then, he nuzzled his head into Shizuo's chest, if only to torture him a little.

Shizuo went completely rigid.

"Something tells me you're doing this more for yourself than you are for me," He quipped, with a voice that was an octave higher than it should have been.

"That's true," Izaya said while tilting his head upward so that his chin was resting against Shizuo's chest, making it a little awkward for himself to speak.

He continued anyway, much to Shizuo's misfortune.

"And it's true because you're a _furnace_ Shizu-chan. And then you leave me all cold in the mornings."

Izaya hadn't meant to say the last part. Or at least he didn't mean to say it as pathetically as he did. 

"Sorry," Shizuo said awkwardly.

Izaya shrugged and ignored the apology, resorting to mushing his face against Shizuo's chest again. He heard Shizuo's laugh rumble past his throat, all deep and warm, and he was so thankful that his face was hidden because he couldn't help but smile when he felt the sound vibrate through his skin. 

Izaya had never been one to really cuddle. No one at The Isle had been one to cuddle after all. Skin touching skin made him feel a little weird. It was foreign to begin with, and probably dangerous given the people that lived there. He was even jumpy and awkward with contact back when he met his friends. 

He let Shizuo touch his hand when they were seven despite that. 

And now, he was letting Shizuo's fingertips lazily touch his back.

Izaya hoped that he couldn't feel his beating heart even if their bodies were pressed together. 

Maybe he was a bit of a masochist, because he couldn't help but think of a time when he opened his arms freely, awaiting Shizuo's hand on his heart without a second thought. 

-

Izaya woke up to realize that he must have been Shizuo's entertainment for the past few minutes, if Shizuo's lazy smile said anything. He wiped away the slobber from his mouth, and the look on Shizuo's face became somewhat fonder. Somewhere along the night Izaya must have shifted and ripped his arms away from the blonde's touch, but Shizuo still had his own arm draped over his stomach. He tilted his head sideways so that he could look at him questioningly. 

"What?" Shizuo asked after a little while, and it was apparently too early for him to scowl and frown like he normally did. Izaya on the other hand raised an eyebrow, as if he was sneering at a piece of land full of landmines that he had to cross.

"You're still here." He said almost accusingly, still too groggy to add a teasing smile to his observation. Shizuo hummed.

"I guess I am."

Izaya interrupted the following silence with a yawn, and promptly ignored the affectionate way Shizuo was looking at him. That potion was soon going to become tedious for _him_ to deal with. 

"Wanna get breakfast?" He asked after noting that it was only eight in the morning on a Saturday. 

Shizuo didn't seem to have much of a problem with the offer, and Izaya didn't realize that he had given up yet even more of his day just to spend it with him. So they met up twenty minutes later outside of the dining hall, with more fitting clothes than their pajamas and matching bed heads. 

"It's like a nest," Izaya commented while looking at the mop of blonde hair. The strands where going every which way. Shizuo was awake enough to scowl while Izaya suppressed a smile by pressing the cup full off coffee against his lips. 

-

Shizuo carried on with his days as normally as he could. November was coming to an end, and so far Izaya had made five potions. The first three were that same brilliant canary yellow, but the last two seemed to be more diluted. The sane part of him was getting desperate. But a much larger part of him was enjoying getting a good night's sleep, and spending time with Izaya. The only reason Izaya wasn't around at the moment, was actually because he was dealing with more royal matters in his private office at the boarding school. Why his parents insisted that he kept going to school, he'd never know.

"So you want six children to be brought over next time?" Sato was asking. He was one of his newer and more enthusiastic assistants, even if he did tend to sweat the small stuff. Tom washis supervisor though, so he couldn't have expected much more.

"Yeah. When are they going to allow me to actually bring them over again?" 

_They_ were a group that consisted of representatives from all the kingdoms. They also happened to be a pain in the ass, but there was only so much they could do that would rival Shizuo's own stubborn behavior. 

"If your coronation goes well, you'll probably be able to bring them in some time after that."

"Great," Shizuo replied, almost a little automatically, because he was looking at the list of buildings that needed to be renovated. And the buildings that needed to be _built._

"Shizuo-sama?"

He grimaced a little at the title.

"Just Shizuo is fine," He said with a polite smile. Tom had insisted earlier to be nicer to the newer member of staff and not behave like he usually did after all. It's not that he was cruel or anything. But sometimes his gruffness came off as intimidating. 

"Just your given name? Isn't that too informal?" 

The infamous nickname _'Shizu-chan'_ suddenly popped up in his head and he bit his tongue in an attempt to not laugh. 

"I don't mind it. We're a team after all, right?" 

"Heiwajima-san?" He tried. Shizuo rose a brow.

"Heiwajima- _kun."_ He tested.

"I'll take it," Shizuo compromised.

"So what are you working on? Do you need to talk to someone about it?"

"Not really," He said while absentmindedly taking note that a large shipment of mattresses was probably necessary, "I'm just working on The Isle for now. I can't save everyone over there, but I should make the conditions better to live in. It's the least I could do after neglecting them for so long."

Sato gave him an understanding smile. Moments later Tom walked in, excusing Sato who left before bowing lightly. 

"How are you holding up?" He asked after closing the door. Shizuo frowned a little at the question.

"What, are you talking about the fact that I have to go through with an arranged marriage or the fact that I'm spelled?"

"He still hasn't broken the spell for you?" Tom asked incredulously, voice cracking a little at the end.

Shizuo might have let it slip that Izaya spelled him as a joke a week ago. He might have mentioned that none of the antidotes had worked too. But he only said so because Tom had insisted that he should talk to him because he had been acting, ' _weirder than usual.'_ And Shizuo made him swear to not tell anyone else before he revealed the secret so really, there was nothing much to be worried about.

"It's not like he's not _trying,"_ He said thoughtfully, remembering all the times he had found Izaya in the library mumbling about percentages and concentrations of the antidote before he hit him at the back of the head so that he would start his homework. Tom's expression settled on a worried look.

"The arranged marriage with Vorona isn't helping either," He admitted with a defeated sigh. The only good thing out of that bit was that the news wasn't make public yet so nobody really knew. "And I can't even think about her because of that potion," He added absentmindedly. The marriage was planned for maybe a month after the coronation. That piece of knowledge was like a lump of lead sitting in his stomach.

Tom seemed to consider the words.

"You sure it's because of the potion?" 

"What do you mean?"

"Well," He averted his eyes momentarily, as if he was choosing the next words with great caution, "It's not like you loved her before it was announced."

He shrugged in response. 

"I could probably learn to love her."

Tom gave him a judgmental look.

"If a potion could make me fall in love with _Izaya_ of all people, I'm pretty sure I could start seeing Vorona as more than just a friend," He insisted.

"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself," Tom quipped.

Shizuo glared.

The minutes ticked by as Shizuo continued making adjustments to the shipping orders, prioritizing which buildings to renovate and which ones need to be built from scratch, wrecking his brains to see how many workers would be needed for the project. He was gnawing on his pencil when he read the document confirming that not only a larger quantity of food was being delivered, but it was also of higher quality. 

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" He eventually asked, because Tom was giving him that very same look that he shot him when they were kids, and he was describing this boy that he met at the barrier before making him pinky promise to never tell a soul. It was as if he always understood something that Shizuo hadn't gotten to yet. 

"It's just, even before the potion you had this interest in Izaya. Hell, it started off when you were seven years old. I was just wondering what's so special about him to you?"

Shizuo looked at him as if he had gone mad.

"I don't think I could give much of a fair answer. The potion would probably make me biased," He reasoned only to see his friend raise a brow at him. Shizuo held his gaze before heaving out a small sigh.

"He's... different."

Shizuo's attempt at elaborating his statements proved to be even less futile than his ability to articulate his thoughts, Tom concluded. "That's it? He's just... _different?"_

Shizuo scowled at the raw amusement that danced on his tongue.

"Well yeah," He defended, "I've never met anyone like him." He said it as if it should have been obvious. Because it kind of was. Out of the many, _many_ words that one could use to describe Izaya, ' _ordinary'_ was certainly not one of them. 

Tom bit his lip. "I can get that much at least. But still... don't take this the wrong way because you're a great person and all... but how can I put this..." He fumbled about slightly, sensitivity towards his best friend's feelings at battle with his own curiosity till the latter won, "How haven't you killed him yet?!"

Shizuo scoffed and bit back a laugh.

"I'm not sure myself," He admitted, "I think I'll always see him as the kid that was my childhood best friend."

Tom gave him a look.

"You were also my childhood best friend," Shizuo confirmed with a small smile at his lips. 

He then turned his gaze to the window, and something must have caught his eye, so Tom walked over to see what was going on for himself. Outside, in the main grounds where they held everything ranging from football to volleyball matches, was a P.E. class taking place. Izaya must have gotten sick of dodge ball, as even from the the level of the floor Shizuo could see bruises forming on Izaya's cheeks- which was astounding to him since he was so infuriatingly talented at dodging every single one of his own attacks. Moments later, Izaya started throwing switchblades at the approaching projectiles, and he took note that the angry shouts of the coach stood no match for Izaya's maniacal laughter. 

"He sounds like a sociopathic hyena," He commented.

Shizuo had always been a simple guy. Tom had watched his friend reject dozens of girls that asked him out for a date. He would blush, and look surprised, as if he wasn't a handsome prince that would one day be king, and then he would turn them down politely because he could never reciprocate their feelings. Shizuo never showed interest in anyone. If anything, he seemed miserable at the very mentions of a date. Let alone an _arranged marriage._

There had only ever been one time when Shizuo's eyes lit up at the thought of dating someone.

"You love him," Tom said without much thought. Shizuo seemed to go rigid before tilting his head and giving him a weird look. 

"Because of the potion," Shizuo supplemented. 

"Because of the potion." Tom agreed, because it seemed like neither of them wanted to think that anything else could be the truth.

-

_"I saw Izaya again today," Shizuo had told Tom, who was playing with a toy train under the shade of a willow tree. He tensed up when he heard the name._

_"I told you to stop seeing him!" He whined. Shizuo frowned. "But he's my friend."_

_He would have stayed angry, but he had known Shizuo since he was in diapers, and by the age of eight he knew more than anyone that nothing could rival Shizuo's stubborn attitude. So he let it drop and shared his train with the blonde boy._

_"How was he like today?" He asked. Shizuo thought about it for a few moments._

_"Weird, like usual," He decided upon._

_"Weird?" Tom questioned worriedly._

_"Yeah! But... in a good way."_

_Tom hummed in understanding even if he didn't understand._

_"He says we look like a couple sometimes."_

_Being innocent and young, Tom giggled._

_"Couples go on dates and hold hands you know."_

_Shizuo showed his interest by mumbling a simple 'yuck'._

_"Would you go on a date?" Tom asked him curiously. Shizuo let go of the toy train to scratch his chin, before scratching his hair because he had forgotten to wash it the day before._

_"Only with Izaya." He said petulantly, and Tom shrugged without thinking much about it._

_-_

_On one evening when they were sixteen, Shizuo entered Tom's dorm looking a little defeated._

_"What's wrong?" He asked._

_"Girls won't stop asking me out," He said pathetically. Tom closed his eyes, took in a deep breath, and put down his book._

_"How horrible can you be to complain about such things?"_

_Shizuo gulped at the eerie calm of the question._

_"I just don't want to date any of them," He grumbled, before taking out his books and starting on his own work._

_Tom wasn't one to remember every conversation that he had ever had. But for some reason, a small bit of a senseless conversation that they had years ago stuck with him._

_'Would you go on a date?'_

_He had said it with quite the emphasis on the word, 'you'._

_And Shizuo had said, 'Only with Izaya', after a few short moments of silence._

_As Tom looked at his friend attempting to focus on his work, he thought, for the very first time, that his answer all those years ago just might have been a promise._

_-_

Izaya gave Shizuo the most judgmental look that he could muster, even if he was staring at the back of his head. 

"Shizu-chan!" He yelled pompously. He would have been amused by the way that Shizuo not only flinched when he announced his presence, but he shrieked in surprise too, screaming a confused, "HOW DID YOU FIND ME?". Izaya only narrowed his eyes though.

"It is _December,"_

"You're ignoring my question," Shizuo cut in. Izaya ignored that too.

"It is cold- like minus twenty degrees-"

"It's at least five degrees,"

_"So_ do pray tell why the hell the Prince of Avalon is sitting _on the roof of the school."_

It was at that moment that Shizuo must have gotten over his initial shock and took in Izaya's appearance. He was wearing two coats, along with an abomination of a scarf pulled up to his nose and a hat that almost covered his eyes. His cheeks were tinted red from the cold. He barked out a laugh while Izaya glared harder.

"I just wanted some alone time and no one ever found me up here. _Until now,"_ He added bitterly, giving Izaya an irritated look as he sat down next to the blonde carefully, "How did you find me anyway?" 

"I went to the training grounds and your dorm room first. Then I asked Tom-kun if he saw you around and he said that sometimes you just disappeared for hours and no one could really find you. So I thought that if _I_ wanted to disappear for hours on end, I would go to the roof. And well, here we are."

Shizuo furrowed his brows.

"Fair enough."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

"Why are you looking so distressed?" 

Izaya gave him a pointed look.

"Because I'm gonna _die_ up here." He said seriously, "The ladder to the roof is _metallic._ It was so _cold._ If I didn't get hypothermia then, I'm gonna get it now. Then I had to lift up that awful trapdoor, and my glove got _ripped_ somehow," He whined while looking at his left hand bitterly, where there was indeed am obvious tear in the dark maroon glove, "And there are patches of _ice_ up here Shizu-chan. So sorry if I look so worried but it's only a matter of time till I fall and die."

Shizuo burst out laughing. Izaya shot him an offended look.

"I have never heard _anyone_ sound so _sincere,"_ he wheezed out, and Izaya just glowered harder at the horizon, where the sun was setting, painting the blue sky with orange and marigold. 

"I hope you get third degree frostbite, Shizu-chan," He said dryly.

"Well, you went through all this trouble. Why did you bother finding me?" 

Izaya looked at him as if he were stupid.

"We barely spent any time together today. I was worried that the potion would make you do something idiotic. Well, more idiotic than usual- OUCH. Anyway at first I thought you were going to jump off the roof!" 

Shizuo recovered from his second bout of laughter after a few moments while Izaya shot him a scornful look.

"Your turn. Why did you come up here?" 

"Not much of a reason to be honest. I just wanted some alone time."

Izaya clicked his tongue.

"And here I am, interrupting it."

"You don't seem too guilty about it."

"You don't seem too grateful of my presence that I decided to bless you with."

Shizuo shoved his elbow in Izaya's ribs. 

"I have a question," Izaya announced through the pain.

"Shoot."

"You never told me that you were going to be the King of Avalon when we were kids," He commented as he stared straight ahead. A group of what Izaya thought were mockingbirds flew past the sun. 

"Why?" 

From the corner of his eye, Shizuo looked a little sad.

"I never wanted to be king."

Izaya tilted his head a little, feeling the strands of his hair that were poking out of the knitted blue hat Erika had made for him blowing in the wind. He didn't feel the need to add the weight of a smile to his lips.

"You're insane," He remarked. His heart felt a little lighter when Shizuo let out a chuckle.

"Maybe I am," He said simply.

-

"I'm getting cold Shizu-chan." 

A sigh.

"Let's go in then."

"Carry me."

"Why would I do that?"

"I'm scared that I'm gonna fall. Because it's close to impossible to _not_ fall. So then I'll fall and next thing you know, _splat._ Guess what? I'm dead."

"Maybe that wouldn't be so bad."

"Shizu-chan!" 

"Shut up and move."

"Will you hold my hand?" 

"..."

"Please?"

Another sigh.

"Fine."

"You'll hold my hand?" 

"I'll hold your hand," Shizuo confirmed, feeling nothing short of lucky when Izaya shot him one of his blinding smiles.

-

"So how's it going?"

Izaya almost yelped in surprise because the greeting came out of nowhere, and felt a little robbed of his identity when Erika gave him nothing but a sly smile. 

"You almost gave me a _heart attack,"_ He accused, while the brunette grabbed a nearby chair to drag it toward the table that Izaya was occupying. She rolled her eyes at him.

The library truly was a wonderful place, and Izaya could only wish that he had found it sooner. The librarian was a nice old lady that always wore a kind smile along with large, thickly rimmed spectacles that made her dark brown eyes look magnified. He, and everyone else knew her as Ms. Addison, and he never thought of piling on a first name onto her title because it would have simply felt wrong. 

_"My mom is Maleficent, you know,"_ he'd told her weeks ago when she spoke to him for the first time. She was just so friendly, he wanted to see her mumble a profanity or two at him. She just nodded and continued going on about the latest shipment of books that they had gotten. He decided that his tiny, ice cold heart had a soft spot for her at that moment. The only sounds one could ever hear in the library was that of quiet footsteps against wooden floorboards, the turning of a page, and hushed whispers. It was like everyone made the constant effort to keep things quiet and peaceful for the sake of the lady behind the desk.

She loved books, Izaya could tell that easily. Whenever he sauntered into the library alone to work something out she always liked to beckon him over to recommend a good story, and he'd always read it just because he had no willpower to say no to her. Sometimes he would even pop in at eight at night before the library closed so he could help her put everything away. That was the main reason why he always went to dinner later than usual. But no one needed to know that. And no one did know that. And he would do anything short of physical violence to keep it that way.

"And what do you mean? How is what going anyway?" He asked lazily as he suffered over yet another literature essay. 

"The potion, duh. How much longer do you think you can keep going with the fake antidotes?"

Izaya gnawed at his pencil. 

"I don't know."

"Okay. How is he like then?" 

Izaya narrowed his eyes at her. He didn't like this. She was trying to get something out of him and he didn't know what it was, but there was no way in hell that she was here to make small talk with no ulterior motive. The last time she started rambling aimlessly she'd said something that was making him question if breaking the wand was the right thing to do _to this day._

_'What right do we, or you have for that matter, to rid the world of that magic?'_

"He's clingy," He decided on carefully, "Not completely annoying, though. Surprisingly he's not acting like a rag doll. He's practically behaving exactly the same except he cuddles more."

She hummed and twirled a strand of hair around her index finger.

"Why are you so surprised though? Isn't that why you lowered the dosage?"

His lips pulled into a wry grin. Shinra was such a snitch. 

"Well I suppose so but _still._ It's such a potent spell, but he still has all of his senses in tact. It's probably because he's such a beast," He added thoughtfully, hoping that she was satisfied with the information he gave her. But she stayed there, giving him that knowing look as if she understood something better than he did, and it annoyed him to no end because she was normally always right about these situations.

"What?" He asked, as he was frankly done playing her weird mind games. It was not fun to be on the receiving end of those.

"I just don't know if you could go through with hurting him, that's all," She said matter of factly, and he just smiled dryly.

"Might I remind you that I run around throwing knives at him to pass the time?" 

"If that's true you would've hit him and left him dead on the first try. That means whenever the two of you did mess around in the grounds, you were always making sure to miss. Kind of romantic," She said sweetly. He scoffed.

"He's heir to the throne, of course I'm not gonna stab him. I'm not looking for a _death sentence."_

"Perhaps," she sneered, "But my point still stands."

"What point?"

When it came to these things, Erika was always right.

"You like him."

For the first time, she was wrong.

"So I'm assuming you have nothing better to do," he derided, shooting her a condescending glance as he relaxed a little more into his chair. At first he thought that she was going to say something meaningful. Like a child, she pouted, the tremor at her lips making her frustration patently clear.

"Izaya I'm _serious,"_ she started, and even if the slight desperation in her tone set him off a little his smile remained, placid and plastered on his lips. He wasn't going to humour her with something like _this_ of all things. _This_ wasn't something that he could entertain for even a second.

"Why aren't you even considering it?" She asked helplessly, as if realizing how many walls he suddenly put up in mere moments. He just scoffed.

"Because it's stupid," He decided on after a little while, "Too outlandish. Too far fetched to bother thinking about it, okay Erika? So unless you have anything else you'd like to tell me, I really should be continuing with my work."

She looked at him as if she was a little astonished, and a little sad too, and his smile fell apart under her gaze. No.

No.

He simply couldn't think like that. Liking Shizuo? Romantically? That wasn't an option, that was _never_ an option. He was already too busy to waste his time considering something as idiotic as liking him. He was busy. Busy with keeping up the act of making shitty antidotes that didn't work. Busy with perfecting the smile he wore when watching Shizuo drink whatever he made him; Always so desperate. He was so eager to get rid of any semblance of emotion that he felt for Izaya, and he just had to smile through it like he was fine. Because he _was_ fine. There was no reason to not be _fine._

He was busy with reminding himself that the lazy comfort that they shared behind closed doors wasn't normal, and was only there because of the potion, the spell. Every little touch, every affectionate glance, every little smile was all a lie because Izaya had forced that upon Shizuo and Shizuo hadn't killed him for it yet.

Everything was a lie.

_Lies, lies, lies._

"You're scared," Erika breathed out, carefully, looking at Izaya as if he were made of glass. He _despised_ it. So he smiled, even if the sneer at his lips was reminiscent of the taste of bile, even if it felt like chewing on glass.

"As I already said," and suddenly Erika seemed far away, too far away to see clearly, too far away to touch, "You have nothing better to do, do you?" 

She sighed, crumpled a piece of nearby paper, and threw it at his face. She didn't seem all that distant anymore.

"You're an idiot," She said. Despite himself, he managed a laugh.

"That's all you've been telling me for the past few years."

"Well that's all you've been doing."

"What?" He pondered aloud as he tapped his pencil against the desk, "Acting like an idiot?" 

She too, laughed at that.

"Whoever said anything about acting?" 

He shot her a glare while she stuck out her tongue.

-

Despite his previous reputation at The Isle, Izaya never was great at confrontations. He had no problem with lying to get what he wanted or masking bluffs as legitimate threats, that came like second nature to him. But the entire, letting it all out, making himself vulnerable with someone he actually cared about... he probably couldn't do it to save his own life. Maybe that's why Shizuo was doing it so easily, why he wasn't bothering to contain his anger or frustration. Izaya was expandable. 

"Why are you acting like you want the potion out of your system at this very instant?" He asked, smile a little small, a little confused as he tried to see Shizuo through the darkness. He thought the knock at his door just meant that he'd be sharing his bed for another night, not whatever this was.

It was nothing out of the ordinary. Shizuo would bring it up occasionally, and it was understandable. He'd ask why the antidotes weren't working, he'd ask when he'd go back to normal.

"Because I _do._ Because I can't have a second of my day when I'm not thinking about you! I have meetings, and work, and a kingdom I have to rule, and I'm tired of this! I'm tired of getting used to being in love with you!" 

Even when hushed his voice was raw, and pained, and Izaya felt a lump building in his throat. 

"These emotions aren't _real._ I want them gone."

"Fair enough," He said without missing a beat, "But there's something else isn't there?" 

Shizuo went stiff at the question. The following silence felt like defeat for some odd reason, like Izaya was watching the world collapse from beneath his feet. Why was he making this so difficult for himself? All he had to do was pretend to care, pretend to take him seriously and this would probably blow over. Everything else between them was all pretend, so why was he treating it like it was all real?

"I'm getting married to Vorona." 

His lips tore into a smile that was so wide, and _fake,_ and sharp, that he thought his tongue would start bleeding.

"Wonderful news Shizu-chan!"

"It's not wonderful," He cut in glumly, "Izaya I can't even think about her romantically because all I can think about, is how I want to be with _you._ Then I have to remind myself it's just a potion, just a spell, and that I'm going to be King and I need to have a perfect family to represent Avalon."

Izaya hummed and prayed that his voice wouldn't break if he talked.

"But you don't love her." 

It wasn't a question. 

"Because of the potion," Shizuo elaborated.

"No," He said easily, "You don't love her. You don't want to marry her." 

The filtering moonlight made Shizuo look somber, dull, so much different than the boy that introduced him to the sun all those years ago.

"It doesn't matter what I want." 

The words were so familiar to his ears, that all he could do was stare at him blankly, and wonder if the sting building up behind his eyes would prove to be problematic in the next few seconds. He was lucky, he thought, when Shizuo left the doorway to retreat to his own dorm. 

He closed his door gently and let out a shaky breath.

-

Izaya didn't think that he would be out and about in early December, stumbling through a small forest on a worn out path that he could barely even see. He was just following Shizuo, because he had insisted that they should go out for the particular weekend and go hang out somewhere different. It was only when they arrived to a small clearing where there was a picnic blanket and an assortment of food that Izaya rose a brow.

"Why does this look like a date?" He teased, only to get out a quipped _"shut up"_ while Shizuo gestured for him to sit on the blanket. 

"It's not a date," Shizuo insisted, and his eyes softened up a little when he bothered to actually look at Izaya, "But you've been a mess the past few weeks, I thought that this would help."

"And what would make you say that?" He asked, ignoring the dark underneath his lashes and how tired his bones felt. 

"Well ever since I told you about my arranged marriage with Vorona you've just been obsessing over making that antidote," He tutted, doting like it was second nature to him, "How many have you made so far? Twenty five?" 

Izaya averted his eyes childishly.

"Twenty six," He corrected with a bashful smile, and if possible Shizuo gave him even more of a concerned look. 

"I appreciate that you're trying, really I do, but you look like a mix between a beaten up crow and a tired zombie so, I'm doing you a favor here." 

The insults didn't help to make Izaya's mood any less sour, and when he realized how accurate their description was, he just glared harder at the bowl of innocent strawberries that was far out of his reach. 

He had never tried a strawberry before, he thought vaguely.

And well, sure. He had been spending a lot more time trying to make antidotes because when he realized the guy needed to get _married,_ he thought he should make his yearning to help him look more believable. That's all it was. Totally.

But it was all close to useless now. Vorona would be at the front in the coronation, not him. His plan was doomed to fail from the start. He might as well just make the actual cure and make a new plan.

"The only way I'll lighten up is if..." He scanned around for something that could prove to be amusing, and when his eyes landed on the guitar that was resting against the picnic basket, he grinned mirthfully, "Play something for me. And you _have_ to sing."

Shizuo glared.

"That's just for decoration."

"Well I want lunch and a show Shizu-chan or else I'm leaving. It's horrible outside anyway."

That was a lie. Despite it being cold, it was still sunny out, just like most days in Avalon where. It made him suspicious, but he didn't question it. 

"Fine," He grumbled lowly, and Izaya just gave him a smug smile as he grabbed both the guitar and the strawberry bowl. He pushed the latter towards him as if he knew that Izaya wanted to try one. 

To his surprise, Shizuo didn't only start playing, but he started playing really well. The notes were all well defined, all in perfect harmony, and it sounded warm and wonderful. He must've heard it on the radio at some point because it was so familiar.

_"Tell me something girl,"_

Izaya wouldn't have pegged Shizuo's gruff voice to be good for singing, but instead it proved to be a little perfect for it. It wasn't anything special, just a little better than average, and pleasant, and calming. He looked at Izaya as he sang, eyes soft with a small smile tugging at his lips.

_"Are you happy in this modern world? Or do you need more?"_

If the song hadn't been famous, if he hadn't heard it playing on Mp3 players in the courtyard or hummed it himself at times when it got stuck in his head, he would've thought that Shizuo was asking him a genuine, personal question directly. It wasn't in the way that he said it as much as the way he was looking at him. 

_"Is there something else you're searching for?"_

He continued a little more after that, only strumming instead of actually singing. 

"I'm not a girl, you know," He said stubbornly, before mindlessly nibbling on a strawberry. Shizuo just rolled his eyes while Izaya fell in love with the fruit. 

_"Tell me something boy,"_

Izaya didn't mean to smile like a giddy idiot when Shizuo continued, and he almost laughed at the not so subtle emphasis that he put on _'Boy'._

_"Aren't you tired trying to fill that void? Or do you need more?"_

At times like this, he'd always think that Shizuo hadn't changed much. He still had sun kissed skin, and blonde messy hair, and soft hazel eyes. And that atmosphere that he could just rule the world. 

_'Will you be here again tomorrow?'_

Izaya realized that he probably wound't have gone back to the barrier tomorrow if Shizuo hadn't asked him to. And sure, at the time he found it annoying so he threw a pebble right at his face, but he went back anyway. It was impossible not to really. He thought him to be made of sunlight after all.

_"Ain't it hard keeping it so hardcore?"_

Izaya hummed lazily as Shizuo kept playing, letting the tune dance in the air alongside the warbling of the birds.

"You never told me that you could play," He accused.

"You never asked."

Izaya let out a quiet _humph._

"Tell anyone about this and you're dead." 

He laughed at Shizuo's threat, and didn't quite catch the soft smile that was aimed at him because the sun was in his eye. 

-

A little further away from the clearing, the sunlight glinted on a lake that neither of them could see; And it danced on top of the waters as if trying to share a secret.

-

_When he was seven years old, Izaya's best friend had been a boy named Shizuo._

_"How did you get that bruise?" He asked him, hazel eyes narrowed with skepticism while Izaya gave him a bashful smile._

_"We haven't seen each other all week cause you were busy," He started, not really meaning to make the blonde feel guilty, "I tripped on my way here."_

_"You should have been more careful."_

_Izaya dismissed him with a pout._

_"I was excited to see you Shizu-chan! You can't blame me!" He whined loudly, happily even, as he saw Shizuo blush miserably._

_The nickname was a concoction of great momentary genius. 'Shizuo' was just so formal that it felt wrong. And he had said that he didn't like it, the new nickname, but Izaya just couldn't let it go._

_He burst out laughing because the blonde boy was simply adorable. Innocent and clumsy in his steps, blush reaching to his ears and skin almost glowing, as if the sun was always chasing him. If he stayed close to Shizuo, the sun would just come to him in turn, he thought._

_"You sound like a hyena," He commented, tone severe and grave, and Izaya choked on his own glee. He titled his head in question, unsure if that meant that Shizuo disliked his laugh._

_"Are you insulting me?" He asked while jutting out his chin, ready to give Shizuo the stink eye. He hummed for a moment._

_"Not exactly," He started thoughtfully, "Maybe it's a good thing."_

_"Sounding like a hyena is a good thing?"_

_"Yeah!" He said encouragingly, "It makes you different."_

_"Ah! You're saying I'm special!"_

_Shizuo frowned._

_"You complimented me!"_

_"No I didn't!"_

_"Hey Shizu-chan! Guess what?"_

_"What?"  
_

_"I missed you, ya know. Did you miss me?"_

_He watched Shizuo helplessly splutter on his words for a few moments._

_"Yes," He finally mumbled._

_Izaya smiled all wide and bright, and it must have been contagious because Shizuo was wearing a smile of his own._

_Albeit different, the two were similar in the way that they gave each other toothy grins with red tinged cheeks._

_-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that song is so sweet okay I just had to include it cause it's so perfect for these two idiots


	10. Just A Little Peck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decreased the amount of chapters by half cause I've been making each chapter longer than I thought I would, so I think I should finish the story in 15 chapters? Maybe in a little less? I'll see as I go along.
> 
> As always, enjoy the chapter and if you enjoyed, leave behind some love!

_Maleficent was never great with children. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she cursed a baby before. But that didn't matter much. Because now she was staring at her five year old son, with his pout and his teary eyes. He was too young to play with the other children, and she had told him this, but that didn't stop the little rat from running away. He came back all bloody and bruised, with skin looking black and blue._

_She gave him a pitiful look._

_"You know why you can't play with them?" She asked him. He stayed silent, standing in the middle of the dusty living room with a forlorn expression._

_"It's because you're weak, Izaya."_

_He looked like he wanted to complain, but his voice would probably break and crumble. He was aware of this too, so he stayed silent._

_"The weak can't survive here. Become strong so that you can survive."_

_His eyes started welling up with tears._

_"Is dad strong?" He asked weakly. She felt her eyes icing over._

_"Probably not," She replied flippantly._

_"Is that why he's never around? Because he's weak?"_

_He had asked it so innocently, wide eyes focused even through the fat tears, that she thought him to resemble something a little like a monster. She didn't know how to reply, but she didn't have to because his mouth was opening again._

_"Are you strong?"_

_She laughed bitterly._

_"Yes. Just not strong enough."_

_He tilted his head in question._

_"The strong don't fall. The strong don't end up in prisons like this," She elaborated. She was about to turn her back to find something to do before he spoke up again._

_"Then I'll become the strongest person here. I won't need people to let me play with them, and I won't need friends. Because I'll be strong."_

_She examined him silently. He was small and skinny. His bones might just start poking out. But the amount of food being sent to The Isle was steadily increasing. He probably wouldn't die of starvation. Yet, there was somehow, a bigger problem at hand. His eyes seemed so distant._

_He was going to head down a dark path. One that she was all too familiar with. So she walked closer and bent down in front of him._

_"Really?" She asked a little animatedly, "But that sounds so boring."_

_Her tone had just enough of a lilt to it to make him break out of his trance, and she could actually see his red eyes focusing on her gaze._

_"Friends are fun. They're good to have around. You should always try to make friends."_

_She briefly thought of Dr. Facilier and Gothel. The two had their own kids now._

_"But what about becoming strong?" He asked stubbornly. She rolled her eyes._

_"There are different types of strength, Izaya. Having people that you can lean on make you strong."_

_He stayed silent after that, seeming content in pouting, so she led him to the couch that was probably going to collapse soon._

_"How about I make you a warm beverage?"_

_She asked it on a whim really. She didn't know what to do with him, and there were probably no supplies anywhere around The Isle to treat his bruises. The majority of his blood had dried up, but open cuts could be easily infected, so she'd have to figure out a way to fix him up. Maybe the guards would bring over something that would help from Avalon. They owed her favors after all. Everybody owed her favors._

_But for now, she had to focus on distracting him, making him feel better so that he wouldn't burst out crying. She didn't need to deal with a bad headache on top of everything else, after all._

_He nodded slowly at her offer, and she luckily had enough ingredients to work with to make the worst hot cocoa made in the history of mankind. She gave it to him anyway, because if nothing else, it didn't contain anything that would kill the boy._

_He took a tentative sip, and her heart just might have clenched a little when she saw him look at the cup with an almost smile._

_"What type of friends should I make?" He mumbled shyly. The question was so out of place that she almost didn't know how to respond, before remembering her previous tangent. She herself didn't know the answer to that. She never really had friends._

_"The type of friends that you can keep." She decided upon._

_Little did she know that Izaya took those words to heart._

_-_

_When Shizuo told Izaya that he couldn't meet him any more by the barrier, Izaya shrugged it off easily. They met by chance, and he was pretty sure the two of them couldn't be friends even if they wanted to, but at the time he didn't really care that the two of them should have been mortal enemies or something. Because Shizuo was a lanky boy like him, and they shared naps under the sun, and talked about the different types of insects they found lying around._

_It was a different story back at home._

_Ten year olds don't drag themselves to their room and sit on their bed while moping. They don't burst out crying because they're at the age of double digits. They don't cry because they have to look after the other kids that were younger than them. But ten year olds probably didn't go around losing their best friends._

_'You should always try to make friends.'_

_Izaya didn't know why he kept going back to Shizuo. Sure the boy was fun to be around, but they couldn't keep going at it forever. A pathetically hopeful voice in his head said 'Why not?' and it just made him sob louder._

_Eventually, the door to his room opened to reveal his mother. She froze in her tracks. She looked like she didn't know what to do with herself._

_"What's wrong?" She asked awkwardly._

_"I didn't listen to you," He whined, trying to talk around a sob._

_'What type of friends should I make?'_

_His own words were screaming at him, as if they were a warning that he ignored without a second thought._

_"What do you mean?" She asked cautiously, looking at him with observant eyes, probably trying to find a large gashing wound that would leave him to die. The only thing she ever really did tell him was to try to survive when he was out and about, and to stay away from strangers._

_"I made a friend that I couldn't keep."_

_She probably didn't even know what he was talking about. She wasn't one to go out of her way to remember senseless things anyway._

_"Who? Shinra? Celty or Erika?" She questioned. He huffed out a frustrated sigh._

_"No. He's someone different."_

_She hummed in response, and decided to rip herself away from the doorway. Gingerly, she sat next to him on his bed._

_"So you lost him." She said. It wasn't a question._

_"I just couldn't keep him," Izaya lamented bitterly._

_"Well then, maybe he never was a friend. Friends stick around."_

_He gave her a sour look._

_"He's not like that though," And he wiped away his tears furiously. He pouted when he heard her chuckle._

_"Defending him, huh? Then he wasn't just a friend, Izaya."_

_"What was he then?"_

_She gave him an almost knowing look._

_His mother didn't know about Shizuo. No one did. No one knew that he went to the barrier. But she knew something._

_"Something else," She started vaguely. "What do you think he was to you?"_

_He considered her words._

_"My very best friend."_

_Somehow, he managed to say the words without breaking down. But a fresh bout of tears was dripping down his cheeks._

_"What's that?" He asked after a little while. He hadn't noticed the mug in her hands before._

_"Ah, this little thing. Just a warm beverage. I thought it would cheer you up a little."_

_Izaya couldn't see well through the tears. But for the very first time in his ten years of life, he thought his mother's smile to resemble something akin to kindness._

_-_

_Later that night, he remembered their last encounter with astonishing detail. He remembered pulling his hand away. He remembered watching Shizuo stumble back into the woods for what would be the last time. And that quick smile he shot him as he waved his paper cup and string before turning back and hiding among the trees._

_He stared numbly at the barrier, before tilting his head upwards. The view was duller than he remembered it to be._

_And just like that, with a small poof, the fuzzy ball in the sky; the sun, was gone._

_-_

_The barrier was getting blearier every year. When Izaya turned thirteen, his world was robbed from the sun and the blue of the sky. The_ _adults didn't care much. It was the kids that whined about it. Izaya didn't complain much though. After all, he had long stopped seeing the sun; back when a blonde haired boy with sun kissed skin touched his hand for the last time when he was just ten years old._

_-_

_"What did it look like? The sun?"_

_Children always liked to ask, and for some reason, they always liked to ask Izaya. And he humored them just because. He would pretend to think hard about it for their amusement._

_"It was like... like a fuzzy ball in the sky!" He'd say excitedly, with contagious enthusiasm, "It was big, and shiny, and warm. And it was the brightest thing in the world!"_

_Izaya would never admit it, but he was barely ever talking about the sun. He would try to. But whenever he himself tried to remember it, he would associate it with Shizuo. And Shizuo's smile always had been so big, and shiny, and warm._

_It was Shizuo's smile that was the brightest thing in the world._

_-_

_As good as Izaya's memory was, it wasn't flawless. At eighteen he couldn't recall Shizuo's name at the top of his head, and the days they spent together were in some deep corner of his mind, waiting to be remembered._

_But, when he saw him close up the first time, he still thought him to be familiar._

_And when he was spending another sleepless night staring at the ceiling, his memories came back to him, senseless conversations rushing through him as if they were the most valuable thing in the world. He chose to ignore it. The two of them grew apart, and they had changed. Clinging onto the past would do him no good._

_Then, he saw a paper cup and string staring back at him innocently in Shizuo's room. He couldn't ignore it anymore._

_-_

_"I really don't know why you keep rejecting girls Shizuo," His mother told him, practically chided him, when he was sixteen._

_"I'm just not interested," He defended meekly._

_The only time that Shizuo had ever been interested in a date, was years ago, when a raven haired boy asked him out on a date jokingly, wearing a smile that shone brighter than the sun._

_-_

_At eighteen, Shizuo remembered Izaya. He simply couldn't forget. But he wasn't stupid._

_When Izaya demanded for a personal invitation, and then proceeded to not show up, he decided that he hated him._

_The Izaya he used to know was dead. There was nothing much to do about it. So when he showed up in Avalon, he talked to him and thought of him as if he were a completely different person. Because he was._

_But it was difficult to convince himself of that when he could see glimpses of his best friend every now and again. In the way he laughed, in the way he smiled, in the way he was so competitive about everything._

_'Do you remember me, Shizu-chan?'_

_Shizuo almost smiled giddily when he heard the familiar nickname. And he wanted to say something along the lines of, 'Of course I do, idiot,' but that reply would have been five words long. Too long. He couldn't keep the fondness away from his words if he spoke for too long._

_'Yeah,' he decided to say instead._

_His best friend was back. And this time, he was never going to let him go._

_-_

Izaya stared at the vile in his hands feeling numb, pieces of conversation drifting through his mind like a haze that wouldn't let him think straight. It was so late. He was so tired. Why was he here again?

_'I'm getting married to Vorona.'_

Vorona, right. She was going to be Shizuo's wife, eventually. He had never talked to her before, but she seemed like the picture perfect princess. Cold and strong. Untouchable. She would probably be able to calm Shizuo down easily, while Izaya took pleasure in riling the guy up. The two would be perfect together. 

She was going to help Shizuo create the ideal image for Avalon. 

This had all been for nothing. The potion had been for nothing. Making himself go through hell, hurting Shizuo.

It was all for nothing. 

_'So Vorona is going to be sitting in the front seats at your coronation, right? She's so lucky,'_ He had whined, just a little earlier that day. Shizuo rose a brow at him before shattering his world.

_'You're going to be sitting at the front too you know.'_

He had gaped like a moron.

_'But I'm not your boyfriend.'_

Shizuo flushed before calling him an idiot.

_'So? You were the first kid from The Isle I ever met. Meeting you made me realize that I wanted to help those people. You're probably the most important person in all of this Izaya.'_

He had given him a blank look.

_'Of course you're gonna be sitting in the front row.'_

He forced himself to put on a smug smile.

_'Shizu-chan! You complimented me!'_

Shizuo shoved him after that. 

And then the day went by.

And then he was here, barely able to carry himself on his own two feet.

He could just give him the actual antidote now. He'd get rid of affectionate glances and fond smiles and warm contact. Because if it weren't for the potion, Shizuo probably wouldn't have ruffled his hair in P.E. out of pride after Izaya scored the final, winning goal in a practice match that they were having. If it weren't for the potion, Shizuo wouldn't want to spend that much time with Izaya, talking about nothing and everything. 

He hid the vile when he heard footsteps. He stared at the person that rested against the doorway with surprise written all over her features. He knew her all too well and not at all.

"Vorona-san," He greeted, offering her one of his signature smiles. She was probably the last person that he wanted to see. But she probably didn't want to see him either. It was late at night so she was decked out in sweatpants and a sweater. Her steely grey eyes were red and puffy. 

"What are you doing out here so late?" He asked, pretending to care. 

Well... it's not like he _wasn't_ curious. And prying into other people's lives wasn't above him so...

"I just might ask you the same thing," She said, but her words fell short of the coldness he was aiming for.

"I asked first," He replied easily, and he beckoned her to take a seat in front of him. She decided to humor him.

"I don't believe we've met. I'm-"

"Izaya." She cut in. "I know who you are," She added onto later. His smile grew wider.

"Ah. So you've heard of me," He stuck out his arm for a handshake, and she dubiously complied. Honestly, she could pretend like she didn't hate all of humanity.

"So Vorona-chan, why are you all down in the dumps?"

She rose a brow.

"Why are you pretending to care?" She quipped back. It wasn't said with much of a bite really. 

"You can hurt people like that, going around and pretending to care about their feelings."

She was _scolding_ him. He grinned with amusement.

"Well I never said I _cared,_ in my defense." He continued despite Vorona's narrowed gaze, "But I _am_ curious."

She huffed out a sigh.

"At least you're honest."

He looked at her expectantly.

"There's not much to say. I'm in an arranged marriage with a guy who doesn't love me, simple as that."

Izaya grimaced. He didn't expect that she was going to say something that personal so easily.

"Right. You're getting married to Shizuo."

"He told you?" She asked, but before he could reply she continued with a grumbled, "Of course he did," as if it was to be expected. He felt like there was an implication to her words that he couldn't quite understand. 

"So you're keeping it secret for now?"

"Yeah, thankfully."

He hummed to fill up the silence.

"So you don't like him?"

She gently rested her head on the cool counter.

"No. I like _him._ I've liked him for a long time. But he doesn't like me. It's obvious."

He was about to reassure her when he remembered the troubled look on Shizuo's features when he had told him about the marriage. 

_'You don't love her.'_

It was quite the bold statement, even for Izaya's standards. 

"I'm pretty sure his heart belongs to someone else," She tacked on. He gave her a strained smile and ignored the fact that his heart skipped a beat.

_You have no idea._

It was a bitter thought.

_'You don't want to marry her.'_

"If it's any consolation, you'd be great for Shizuo. Maybe he'll come around," He offered.

Vorona wrinkled her nose as if he had said the most outlandish thing he could have thought of.

"Pity doesn't suit you Izaya."

"Well, Vorona-chan, I wouldn't go so far as to call it _pity,_ but-"

"Besides," She cut him off easily, "I know I'd be great for him. We would look like the perfect couple, living the perfect live on a perfect version of Avalon. But Avalon isn't immaculate, and our system is full of flaws. That's why Shizuo is fighting so hard for people on The Isle."

"So, what are you saying?"

"That he needs someone else, obviously. Someone that can help him bring peace between our two worlds."

"I take it you're talking from a political standpoint?" He asked, a teasing lilt to the question. 

"I guess so. But still, I could never make him happy. A marriage with me would crush him."

She stayed silent but she didn't break eye contact. Izaya suddenly felt very self aware, and a little too vulnerable for his liking. She was just a girl. A girl his age no less. He couldn't care less if she was royalty. When did that ever make him feel unguarded? 

"What?" He asked with a small smile. 

It was her eyes that caught his attention. Cold and steely and calculating. One of a kind. 

"I bet you could make him happy."

He felt his skin turn pale and cold, as if the world around him froze. But the world didn't freeze, because the clock on the wall kept ticking, and Vorona was clearly observing his reaction. He tried to give her a crooked smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. 

He remembered that silent night, the red vapor swirling in the air. And Shizuo's hazel eyes opening innocently in the darkness.

"I somehow doubt that," He remarked nonchalantly, brushing off her hypothesis as if it held no weight. He was about to leave after that, because he wasn't sure that staying around would be a good idea, but she broke the silence again.

"I don't," She quipped, giving him a small smile despite sounding so sad.

"Something tells me you know something I don't," He said, sounding a little strained.

She thought about it for a moment. 

"Maybe I do." 

She said it easily, and he could tell that she had no intention of continuing their riveting conversation. 

He tried to shrug it off, because maybe she was just crazy. And he was so close to making it through the doorway. But then he thought of the look on her eyes. Sad, and lonely and lost. He'd seen that look in his sister's eyes a million times before. 

"Vorona-chan," He started, turning to look back at her with a bit of an exasperated look. His voice was a little more gentle now.

"How about I make you a warm beverage?" 

-

Vorona stared blankly at the cup of warm cocoa in her hands. It was hot, just not enough to be unpleasant, so she held it tightly in the palms of her hands, ignoring the jolts of heat rushing through her fingertips; Somewhere between the sensation of painful and pleasurable. 

The steam stung her eyes a little, but it smelled good, like chocolate and sugar and spice. She vaguely wondered why Izaya was so good at making the drink. 

The boy had left after putting the mug in front of her on the wooden counter. He gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder and then he was gone.

Where he had learned to show kindness, she wasn't sure. 

She didn't want to indulge in her own thoughts, nor did she want to think about the day the marriage was announced. But constantly not trying to think about it was even more tiring then just thinking about it, so she gave up and let the tremor of her lips take over. There was no one to see her anyway.

_'You two will be getting married sometime after the coronation.'_

She wanted to be delighted when Belle had announced the news. Arranged marriages were quite rare nowadays, but Shizuo clearly wasn't looking for a significant other, so his parents were taking care of it. She remembers turning around to look at her soon to be husband, and something in his expression was broken and shattered and trampled on. 

But he didn't say anything against it. 

If either of them were unhappy, they could call it off. She would have called it off at that moment, but he was silent, so she stayed silent as well. 

Later on, she made a request to delay the date. Allow Shizuo to become King, let him take care of things, she could just be his girlfriend. They could go on dates. And then when the time felt right they could get engaged and then get married. 

He seemed grateful at her request. And she could only wonder why he wasn't calling it off. What was he waiting for? Why was he leaving it up to her? Why did she have to be the one to trample on her own dreams and wishes? _She_ was going to be the one to have to cancel a wedding with Shizuo, someone she likes, someone she could surely love if he could just look at her. She was going to have to be the one to let the possibility of being Queen slip through her fingers.

Well. Maybe he did look at her. Maybe he saw her for who she is a million times. And maybe, who she was simply wasn't good enough for him.

She pulled her lips tightly together as she felt hot tears trickle down her cheek. 

-

_"Vorona Fujisaki. Meet Shizuo Heiwajima."_

_The Fujisaki family was like a sturdy rock in the newly rising empire. Its helpful and supportive nature put it in good terms with everyone in the kingdom, even Beast and Belle, who had won the latest election to be the rightful King and Queen. That meant that the young girl and her family lived a good life. A deserved life too; they were an honest bunch, with the best interest of the people around them at heart. So Vorona ate good meals, and went to a good school, and wore nice dresses. She learned how to be polite and how to behave correctly._

_That also meant that Shizuo was her playmate whether she liked it or not. And Tom was as well._

_'Keep your head held high dear. If you were wear a crown it would fall right off, you know.'_

_She was probably never going to wear a crown though, so she couldn't understand why her mother told her that._

_'Don't smile for no reason, you might come off as goofy. And then you won't be respected.'_

_'A proper lady doesn't run around with wrinkled dresses, darling.'_

_She'd heard it all before. She heard it as she was dragged to meet Shizuo for the first time in the castle courtyard._

_The boy was taller than her. And he was covered in dust and bruises, with messy blonde hair and the largest smile on his face as he waved at her when he spotted her._

_She mentally took note to wear shorts and a t-shirt the next time she visited._

_-_

_Shizuo was the one that thought Vorona how to have fun with life. He was radiant like the sun itself. And so she stopped caring about dresses and looking like a proper lady. Instead, she ran around and climbed trees with Shizuo, and with Tom and Kasuka; the Prince's younger brother who was always the first to tell them to not run around and climb trees because they were going to get hurt._

_-_

_"Do you think it's important to keep your head held high, Shizuo-kun?"_

_The two were sitting on the ground with their legs crossed, while sipping on apple juice from their juice boxes. The boy hummed as he thought it through._

_"Why are you asking?"_

_She shrugged her shoulders._

_"Cause mummy says it's important. Or else your crown will slip off your head."_

_He wrinkled his nose as if to show bemusement._

_"That's stupid," He mumbled childishly, and she giggled._

_"I do think it's important to look up though," He continued enthusiastically, "How else would you see the sun?"_

_He gave her a cheeky grin, and like the callow child she was, thought that she was in love._

_-_

_Shizuo would disappear sometimes. For hours on end. But he always left with such a big smile, as if he was going to do the thing that made him the happiest boy in the world. She could never get him to smile like that._

_So she stayed silent, and never reported her observations. She could never live with herself, if she was the one to rid him of that smile, after all._

_-_

Vorona covered her mouth with the palm of her hands to muffle the sob, as if her life depended on it. Right next to her, the cup of hot cocoa had already gotten cold.

-

**Fujisaki; _two unblooming flowers_**

**_-_ **

Shizuo didn't mean to overhear the conversation. He had no interest in doing so, really. He was just heading to the kitchen to see if Izaya was there since he wasn't in his dorm. He was probably up late again working on antidotes. He'd carry him to bed if he had to. 

_'I've liked him for a long time. But he doesn't like me.'_

His feet started to feel like lead. 

_'I'm pretty sure his heart belongs to someone else.'_

Guilt settled in his stomach and bubbled there, until there was a lump forming in his throat. 

_'I could never make him happy.'_

That should have been a lie. Vorona was wonderful. He should have been so thankful that the two of them were being brought closer together. Instead he was silently waiting and hoping for her to call it off. _He_ couldn't cancel it. He had no reason to. He had no right to refuse a girl as wonderful as her. 

_'I bet you could make him happy.'_

It was because of the potion. 

_'You love him,'_ Tom had said to him.

He couldn't bring himself to listen in to any more of it, and he shouldn't have been eavesdropping in the first place. So he walked away, as silently as he possibly could. 

This was all because of that spell. He had been repeating that for so long, like a never ending mantra in his head. It was only a matter of time till he starts to believe it. 

-

Shizuo went out to the courtyard at first to get some fresh air, to sort out his thoughts before giving up on doing so. And then, he finally decided to retreat to the privacy of his dorm. 

When Shizuo _did_ open the door to his room, he hadn't been expecting to find Izaya sitting on his bed innocently, legs crossed and a paper cup in his hand. He had an eye closed and he was holding it up so that it could catch the soft lamp light, as if he wanted to examine it. 

He almost screamed in surprise, but he cut it midway and stomped his foot on the floor while biting his tongue. It was late, he couldn't go around making a ruckus. Izaya laughed, all loud and juvenile as if it was the funniest thing in the world. 

"Bastard," He muttered as he shot him a glare. Izaya gave him the most charming smile that he could muster in turn.

"How the hell did you get in here anyway?" 

He rose a brow.

"You gave me the pass code to your keypad ages ago," He reminded while stretching out his arm in order to put the cup back on the desk. It caught the light for a moment, and Shizuo could see the string before it seemingly disappeared again. He felt a blush creeping up his neck but he ignored it.

"Yeah. I'm regretting that now," He commented while taking a seat in front of Izaya. His companion pouted.

Shizuo didn't think that his day would end like this. The two of them wearing mismatched sweatpants and sweaters, a weak excuse for nightwear but their fabric was warm and comfy. The door was closed, and the lamp lit up the room in the warmest of colours, as the two of them sat cross-legged on Shizuo's bed no less, facing each other as if they had nothing better to do. Their knees were almost touching. 

-

As Izaya stared silently at Shizuo, who was suddenly so very close, he forgot about the vile in his pockets.

-

Shizuo thought himself to be lucky, since he could say that seeing Izaya look so calm and neutral wasn't a rare occurrence. There wasn't much of a weight to his lips, not a sign of a frown, just the beginnings of a very small, innocently amused smile. His skin was pale as it always had been, save for the dark underneath his lashes which never seemed to go away no matter how much Izaya bothered to sleep. The tired look he had going on somehow suited him.

His hair was a mess, as always. Dark raven strands going every which way. Each one unruly to a fault, resulting in an eternal bedhead that had been following the boy since his youth. 

And then there were his eyes. Dark red, the shade of blood. They were always so sharp with something like mischief dancing around. But they were different now. Wide. Nebulous. Bright. _Beautiful._

Izaya himself is beautiful. He always had been. Shizuo thought him to be good looking when he was seven, and for a fleeting moment, he was reminded of that sentiment when they met again in front of the school. 

Without thinking much, Shizuo's gaze dropped down to Izaya's lips. Pink and a little chewed up. Shizuo always did notice how Izaya constantly worried his lip. As if it would give him the answers to his homework. 

"You want to kiss me," Izaya sing-sang, sounding triumphant and mirthful as his voice scampered on the edges of a whisper. Shizuo felt his face redden at the accusation, and his eyes shot upwards to meet Izaya's gaze.

"I bet it would be your first kiss."

His breath was almost close enough to tickle his lips.

"Shut up. It's probably yours too."

"Wrong. I'm quite experienced, you know." 

Shizuo made a face.

"Don't feel inferior Shizu-chan. You'll learn someday."

They were somehow getting closer, and Izaya was somehow getting all the more annoying. And Shizuo could feel nothing but fondness for the boy.

"You're really okay with having your first kiss with me, Shizu-chan? You just might regret it," He teased, smiling broadly.

"Izaya," He whispered.

"What?" He whispered back.

"You are so _annoying,"_ Shizuo said severely, and he smiled when Izaya chuckled. He was still so close.

"You know Shizu-chan, I have another antidote. I'm positive this one will work, you know."

"Positive?" He repeated back.

The two were smiling at each other like drunk idiots. They might as well have been sharing a brain cell.

 _"Positive."_ He confirmed. 

"So? What do you want, Shizu-chan?"

He didn't know what game Izaya was playing. And he wasn't even aware of what he was doing anymore, so he said the first thing that came to his head.

"What do _you_ want, Izaya?" 

Izaya's smile fell a little at the question. 

"I'm not sure. I know what I wanna do, I just don't know why."

Shizuo found his honesty to be the most adorable thing in the world.

"That's okay," He reassured. 

"You're not allowed to ask questions."

Shizuo hummed.

"Same applies to you."

"It's just one little peck anyway."

"Exactly," Shizuo agreed.

"And," Izaya continued as he leaned a little closer, their noses almost brushing, "We're so close already. It would be such a waste to pull back."

"I'm glad we can agree on something."

And then, as he closed his eyes, Shizuo leaned in a little too gently, and a little too soon, but somehow, their lips met. Probably all thanks to Izaya for having some semblance of coordination. 

It was soft. So calm and natural that he could almost hear his own heartbeat thrumming in his ears. He could feel Izaya smiling against his lips, and he could feel the warmth of his hands against his cheeks, tangling lightly in his hair. He laughed a little as he brushed the skin underneath his hair with his fingertips, as if he was trying to tickle Shizuo while keeping him in place.

He felt Izaya's tongue gently licking at his lower lip, more a subtle suggestion then really asking for permission. Shizuo opened his mouth nonetheless, and had to keep himself from smiling when Izaya's pleasantly surprised hum came to his ears like a tickle and bounce. 

Izaya's tongue explored his mouth slowly, searching for every nook and cranny; it played at the roof of his mouth, tickling at it with its tip, and Shizuo never realized how the experience screamed Izaya. He couldn't see him, but he didn't need to because he was so loud and so bright that everything else was reflecting his personality. 

It was gentle and slow, but above all, _playful._ He couldn't go through a second without wanting to laugh or smile. 

Eventually, Izaya pulled back all giddy and innocent, with flushed cheeks and eyes filled with mirth.

"Just one little peck, huh?" Shizuo asked, while managing to keep a straight face and a raised brow.

Izaya just blinked at him before bursting with laughter, as if Shizuo had said the joke of the century. He laughed, all loud and bright, let his presence fill up the room as he fell on his back, almost kicking Shizuo in the chin with his legs. 

His laugh, Shizuo decided, always had been one of his favourite sounds.

-

As he sat up groggily while trying to adjust to the darkness around him, Shizuo realized that he must have fallen asleep. He felt around for Izaya but there was nothing, just empty space for himself to use up. With a small frown he sat up and turned on the lamp. In the dim light he could see that the boy had very much gone elsewhere, probably to his own room to get some sleep. The _02:00_ on the digital clock on his bed side table was judging him, but he couldn't pay it much mind because his gaze shifted to the small little vile that hadn't been there for long.

Izaya left it there, he thought drowsily. 

Tentatively, he took it in his hands, pressed the cool glass against his finger tips, and watched the colourless solution slosh around the bottle. The vivid shade of canary yellow that he was so used to was amiss. 

With a grimace, he remembered a pair of soft lips against his own, and the little smiles and the huffs of laughter that he was sure he could never get from anyone else. Shizuo had loved Izaya ever since they were small, and he had stood by him for even longer. And that was fine; loving the boy wasn't much of a problem. It was impossible not to. 

Izaya was the one that showed him that indeed, personalities could be described as _loud,_ and that his charm and annoyance went hand in hand to make Shizuo feel endless affection for him. But it was easy to deal with before. It was okay to hold hands and joke about going out on dates when they were young and innocent. That was never a problem. The problem was now, because now they were older, now Shizuo had expectations to live up to. 

And maybe, just maybe, under all the complaining and the stress and the bullshit talk about his duties, Shizuo always had been using the potion as an excuse. An excuse as to why he wanted Izaya close, and why he felt like he loved the boy. 

With a sigh, he tipped the vile and let the liquid slosh down his throat, burning it a little and leaving a slight tingle in his mouth. 

_'This should work instantaneously,'_ Izaya had told him when Shizuo was already half asleep. 

After a few seconds, he _did_ feel different. His head was a lot less muggy, as if his thoughts had been stuck in a haze the entire time and he never realized it. And he could breathe a lot better too, like a weight was lifted off his lungs. 

But, after all this time, and after taking the so called antidote that would finally release him of these horrid feelings, Shizuo still wanted nothing more, than to hold Izaya's hand. 

-


	11. Our Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter could be summarized with a quick, "Not today gay thoughts", and some nervous laughter. But I took the long route instead, even if it's 6am on a thursday.

Shizuo didn't think that he could have slept after having had his first kiss. But he thought wrong because he did sleep; so soundly that somehow by morning half his body was off the bed, and his pillow had been thrown haphazardly on the floor. He felt the space around him by habit and thought that, up to a few months ago, he would have never described the dorm beds as empty and cold.

But now it was. All empty and cold. So he got up and out of bed, sheepishly kicking his pillow aside. He washed his face with cold water, and brushed his teeth with ever rising vigor. And, absentmindedly noted, that the potion in fact didn't work overnight, even though he went through all the trouble to convince himself of that.

_'This should work instantaneously.'_

Maybe it would work within a week. 

-

In the next seven days Shizuo was on complete research mode; like those scientists with their lab coats and observing eyes, taking note of everything that the specimen in question did. As Shizuo sat on the library floor next to Izaya though, he didn't have a lab coat, and honestly he could only observe something that wasn't Izaya for so long before finding himself to be bored. But he had his favourite azure blue hoodie, and a sheer force of will. And the specimen was none other than himself. 

"You're standing awfully close," He muttered, while glancing at Izaya. It wasn't much of an exaggeration; Their knees were brushing and somehow, their shoulders too. And it's not that he minded the close proximity, but his heart was beating so loud, and Izaya just might hear it. 

"I disagree."

Shizuo blinked. Once, twice. "You _disagree?"_ He questioned, a little disbelieving, and endlessly amused. Izaya nodded in turn, but backed off anyway. Then, without warning, he fell backwards, so that his head landed on Shizuo's lap with a light thump. 

"Cat got your tongue, Shizu-chan?" He asked, mirth dancing in his eyes and on his lips as he stared up at Shizuo with all the confidence in the world; and Shizuo, heir to the throne, Son of Beast, the man with uncanny strength, was really just a boy having a mental breakdown, because Izaya was smiling at him, and although he was teasing the pull of his lips seemed so genuine. 

"So this is what you decided to do," Shizuo said, instead of standing for Izaya's mockery, "I tell you you're too close, and _this,"_ He gestured in the air vaguely with his arms to make a point, almost hitting Izaya on the forehead with the textbook _'The Magic of Chemistry'_ , and plowed through Izaya's whining because he almost assaulted him with a one thousand-paged book, "This is what you decided was best?" 

"Exactly," Izaya replied, easily, as if this was completely normal, "The floor is cold Shizu-chan. And you're like a furnace! Just cause you're not in love with me anymore doesn't mean I can't keep my furnace privileges!" 

His heart did something weird at the _'you're not in love with me anymore'_ and wondered how something could sound so playful, so melodramatic, _so_ _Izaya,_ and yet so... bitter.

"You don't want me to be cold do you?"

He remembered waking up in bed just a few days ago, with all the space to stretch that he could have wanted. He also remembered the cold. 

He scowled.

"So you're telling me that this is the only way you can stop being cold?" 

"It seems so," He replied gravely. 

"Are you always cold when I'm not around then?" 

If he weren't so close, back slightly hunched so that he could peer down at Izaya with fond annoyance (a new emotion that only Izaya could bring out of him, surely), he wouldn't have noticed that blank look of his; all his exuberance and smiles gone for just a second. 

"Don't be ridiculous," He chided, and Shizuo wanted to be relieved that he seemed to turn back to normal, but he had paused and looked so troubled for a moment there that he couldn't help but think that he hit a nerve. 

"But, I suppose there is one other option."

"And what would that be?" 

Shizuo should have never asked.

"Your hoodie," Izaya said while narrowing his eyes. "I want it."

-

"No."

"Shizu-chan."

They had been going on like this for five minutes.

"I said no," He grumbled.

_"Please."_ Even when whining and bickering, Izaya was always so convincing.

"I'm refusing this."

"You can't!"

"I'll walk away."

Izaya gasped.

"You're saying you would leave me here _on the floor?"_

Shizuo sighed. Izaya was dramatic by nature. 

"That's sounding really appealing right now."

"But you'd never leave me, Shizu-chan! I'm irresistible." 

He barked out a laugh at that, and Izaya immediately pouted. 

"That's it." He could only handle Izaya for so long. The other scoffed.

"As if you'd actually-"

Shizuo was already getting up though, and Izaya's head fell on the floor with an audible thump, as if he had complete trust that he would stay. ' _Well fuck',_ he thought to himself, suddenly feeling guilty. So while Izaya bickered about their now broken friendship, and his broken skull, and how Shizuo would have to pay all his medical bills, he just took off his hoodie, thankful that he decided to wear a sweater underneath, and unceremoniously dropped it on Izaya's head.

"Are you trying to suffocate me?"

Izaya was too busy being... well, _himself,_ to notice that he was given what he wanted. And he was apparently all too intent on staying on the ground with the hoodie muffling his words.

"You're a _brat,_ Izaya."

"It's called being _loveable,"_ He replied easily.

Shizuo was already leaving, but he heard it loud and clear, and he couldn't help laughing, nor could he stop the warmth spreading in his chest.

-

Izaya got up shortly after. And only moments later, he recognized the suffocating material to be Shizuo's hoodie. 

Later that day while in his dorm with his friends, he grabbed his phone, because yes they had _phones_ now, and tapped on one of the few contacts that he actually talked to.

**_The Bane Of My Existence:_ **

_[This is mine now]_ _5:04pm_

He attached a picture to it. 

A _ding_ sounded just a little later, followed by another one.

_**Shizu-chan:** _

_[I know, that's why I gave it to you. Brat.] 5:06pm_

_[You look stupid by the way.] 5:06pm_

**_The Bane Of My Existence:_ **

_[I look fabulous.] 5:07pm_

**_Shizu-chan:_ **

_[I'm using that as my lock screen.] 5:07pm_

**_The Bane Of My Existence:_ **

_[You wouldn't dare.] 5:08pm_

**_Shizu-chan:_ **

_[I do dare.] 5:08pm_

**_The Bane Of My Existence:_ **

_[Can you tell that I'm pouting right now?] 5:09pm_

**_Shizu-chan:_ **

_[Yes.] 5:09pm_

Izaya's smile just widened, so he put his phone down, opting to play a video game against Celty instead, who was crushing him brutally, while Erika was asking Shinra's opinions on fabrics because she was insisting on making their outfits for the upcoming coronation. Shinra didn't have the slightest clue about textiles, but he was all too enthusiastic to pretend to know, and give advice that he himself didn't understand with a placid smile.

From the corner of his eye, Izaya caught sight of the book, _'101 Reasons To Be Good; Edition Two'._

"So about that wand," He started nonchalantly. Everything fell silent. He could feel Erika's gaze piercing through him.

_'What right do we, or you have for that matter, to take that magic away?'_

Izaya wondered if Shizuo had a particular soft spot for magic. 

"What if we don't break it?"

At their blank looks, he scratched the back of his neck. 

"What if we don't take it at all?"

-

Shizuo couldn't help but smile at the picture. The angle was horrible, and the image was slightly blurry. Izaya was at the center, wearing the hoodie which was too big on him, and sunglasses to go with it. He was holding up a peace sign and smiling cheekily at the camera. Erika and Shinra were also wearing sunglasses, (where they got them from, he didn't know), and Celty was in her iconic biker-cat helmet. The three of them were pointing at Izaya, with overly serious expressions.

They were all dorks, he thought, while absentmindedly setting it as his home screen.

-

The week passed. And while Shizuo didn't lose any feelings, he _did_ manage to lose his favourite hoodie. So, with nothing else to lose, he decided to ask advice from the wisest person he knew. 

-

Shizuo told Kasuka of the potion situation with great detail. And when at the end, Kasuka looked at him with wide and red unblinking eyes, he started to panic.

"Kasuka?" He asked carefully. Maybe this was all worse than he thought it was. "You okay?"

"Yeah," He said after a little while, "I just haven't blinked in a while."

Shizuo was puzzled only for a moment, before realizing that Kasuka was indeed holding a nintendo in his hand, and that he had been staring at it the entire time while Shizuo rambled on for the past five minutes. They stayed like that for a few seconds, Shizuo staring at him, absolutely speechless with his mouth slightly agape, and Kasuka staring right back at him.

"It burns," He mumbled, before finally blinking.

Shizuo made a sound with his throat.

"Are you better now?" 

He blinked again.

"Yes," He said, before rubbing his eyes and looking back at his nintendo.

"Did you listen to anything that I said?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised."

Shizuo sputtered.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I know you. Anyway, what's the problem? You got the actual antidote now, right?"

Shizuo scratched the back of his head, not really knowing how to frame the words.

"I think so?"

From behind the nintendo screen, Kasuka rose a brow. 

"You _think."_ He repeated back slowly, as if wanting Shizuo to understand how senseless that sounded. He huffed out a frustrated sigh.

"Well I felt a little lighter and my head was... less hazy than before, I guess?" 

"Honestly, I'm impressed."

"Why?"

"As far as I know, those types of potions are absolutely ruthless. It sounds like it has _Fallax Amor_ petals, and those normally make the recipient obsessive and entranced with the other to a fault. It could make you go insane if you're not constantly with them."

Shizuo's brow creased at this. It was true that Izaya had started to invade his thoughts more often, and that he wanted to keep him close by for a lot more. In fact, he couldn't even sleep without him. But he was nowhere near _obsessed_ with him, nor was he going to lose his sanity without him around. There was a much better chance that he would lose his sanity while Izaya _was_ around, in fact, and the thought made him want to smile.

"There's a saying that's been following the potion around for ages. _'It's a punishment worse than death'"_ , he said dramatically, while clenching his fist and putting it close to his heart. Shizuo huffed out a laugh.

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that," And he emphasized the words, as if just waiting for Shizuo to connect the pieces himself, "Someone like Izaya using a potion like that as a _prank_ is a little weird. Especially since he must have taken time to take the dosage down."

Shizuo gave Kasuka a look that told him that he wasn't really following, and Kasuka sighed, before putting his nintendo down and slouching further into his chair.

"Look, I wouldn't put it below him to use that potion to ruin someone's life. But does it really sound like Izaya to make one of the deadliest potions, spend hours and hours to lower the dosage, just to give you an antidote for it immediately after?" 

Shizuo bit the inside of his left cheek 

"I'm pretty sure he wanted something from all this. And having you infatuated with him would have given him anything he wanted."

Shizuo felt his blood turn cold. 

Memories of sunshine and cicadas and green grass flashed across his eyes. He could see a boy. A young boy with bruised knees and elbows. With his loud laughs and wide smiles. Then there was another boy. A man. A man he thought he knew. Why were the two so similar? _'Do you think we'll always be friends?'_ He'd asked. His friend was gone though. Shizuo's friend was long dead and he didn't even know it.

"But he didn't go down that road, even if it would have been so much simpler."

"What do you mean? He gave me that potion and I _believed_ him when he said it was just a joke. He played me for a fool and I was stupid enough to trust him." There was a lump in his throat and a growl to his words. Kasuka somehow, remained calm.

"Sure, he gave you the potion. He gave you a potion he spent ages working on to make sure that it wouldn't affect you in a major way. And you were acting _so_ normally, that honestly, the dosage must have been too low to actually leave any effects. And it's a pain in the ass to arrange dosages, just saying," He said while pulling up his knees, ignoring the way Shizuo grimaced at his choice of words, "In fact, I think it's safe to say Izaya made a new type of potion, just for you."

"You think so?" He asked wryly. 

"Yeah. One that makes you want to cuddle more."

It felt good to laugh.

"Seriously though," Kasuka continued, "Izaya might have wanted something, but he clearly cared for you more."

"He has quite the way of showing it then."

"Don't be like that," He said while rolling his eyes at Shizuo, as if he was the biggest brat, "He's a messed up kid from a messed up place. Over there, they take what they want without a second thought of who they're hurting. Does that sound like Izaya?" 

_'Not exactly',_ he thought, but didn't really want to say it out loud so he didn't.

"My point is, be careful with what you do next. He's a good guy."

Shizuo wasn't one to listen to people. Sure, he took note of some good advice whenever he got the chance to, but even then, he did that in his own way. 

Kasuka wasn't one to compliment people though, and out of everyone's opinions, Shizuo probably valued Kasuka's the most, so he wasn't just going to dismiss anything he said. 

Defeated, and utterly confused, he collapsed on his brother's bed, and stared at the ceiling. 

"When you said the potion shouldn't have worked..."

"Yeah?"

"But it did work... right?"

"It seems so."

"Why did it work when it shouldn't have then?"

Kasuka considered this. 

"Well, most likely there were already some feelings to work with. The potion just amplified them." 

Slowly, Shizuo raised his head to give Kasuka a _look,_ but Kasuka just shamelessly looked back. 

"So, just to make things clear. The antidote you took could only remove the effects of the potion. The feelings left over... well... they belong to you."

Shizuo wondered if his brother could somehow be wrong, before remembering that he had spent his life studying potions, and he was second to none when it came to alchemy.

"You know I'm good at this stuff," Kasuka said, as if reading his mind, "Why didn't you come to me earlier?"

There was no hurt in his tone, just curiosity, and Shizuo clicked his tongue because he was wondering the same thing.

"I guess I trusted Izaya enough to deal with it."

From the corner of his eye, he could see Kasuka was fiddling around with his hands, probably waiting for something more. His younger brother always was good at reading people.

"And, I wasn't minding the way I was able to act towards Izaya."

Kasuka hummed.

"Because you had an excuse for it," He remarked, before sitting up and abandoning his chair, just to rummage through a box of video games and controllers, and tacking on a simple,"Wanna play a game?"

"Sure," Shizuo said dejectedly, because Kasuka always won.

-

"You and Izaya, huh?" Kasuka asked while taking some popcorn from the bowl. Even when using one hand on the controller, he was still winning. Shizuo frowned without taking his eyes off the screen. The comment wasn't made with the mockery that it should have surely had. 

"Very funny Kasuka. What are you, five?"

"No."

"Besides. He's a guy. I need to have kids and stuff." 

He watched helplessly as his character was being beaten to death.

"Why?"

"Cause mum implied it?" He didn't mean to make it sound like a question. It wasn't a question.

"Mum just wants us to be happy. Besides," He said while pulling off another combo move, and _seriously, how did he have enough fingers to pull that off-,_ "I never thought I'd see the day that my brother showed any interest in someone. Who cares if it's a guy?"

"Well you can give me advice when you get a date," He grumbled, because he was so done with Kasuka reading him with a single look for the day. 

They fell into a comfortable silence, because silence and Kasuka was always a good combination. Until that is, Kasuka opened his mouth again. 

"I _do_ have a girlfriend."

Shizuo wished he could be surprised at such news.

"You didn't tell me," He scolded.

"You never asked," Was the reply.

"Who?"

"Ruri."

"Makes sense," He said as he remembered the quiet girl, the only one smart enough to keep up with Kasuka, the _prodigy of alchemy._

Finally, he landed the killing blow, and won. 

Kasuka always won. 

There was a knock at the door, and he shot a glance at Kasuka while he got up to answer it.

"I didn't know you were expecting company."

"I wasn't," He said as he opened the door to reveal a refreshed looking Vorona, with her long blonde hair and pretty white coat.

_'I could never make him happy'_

"Vorona," He greeted, forcing a smile on his lips. 

"Shizuo. Wanna talk?" 

Wordlessly, he nodded his head, and said a quick goodbye to Kasuka who gave him a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. And then the two walked off, down the halls and to the massive courtyard. He looked at her and saw one of the greatest people he'd ever met, and someone who was one of his very first friends. And, bitterly, he realized, as their hands brushed but didn't quite connect, that he could never make her happy.

-

Shizuo loves Izaya. It didn't matter if Shizuo knew this, because Vorona knew it instead. And whether the word _'love'_ was a bit extreme or not, it didn't make much of a difference because clearly, he only had eyes for him.

It didn't take much of a genius to make the connection, and Shizuo didn't do anything out of the ordinary to make his feelings known. She saw it in the way he talked about him, this fusion of irritation and fondness, like he was the bane of his existence but he still wouldn't have it any other way. She saw it in his smiles when the two talked and in his body language when she caught sight of the two of them studying in the library.

And, the most blatant thing of it all was that Izaya made him impossibly happy. Izaya was the only guy that could get Shizuo to race him to class every time, the only one that he could spend hours and hours with without getting bored. For some reason, the two were joined at the hip, and memories of a young Shizuo disappearing every afternoon made her think that maybe, their relationship began long before the proclamation was made. 

"We should call off the wedding," She said as they walked side by side, feeling a weight being lifted from her shoulders, "I take it you'd agree?" 

Shizuo looked troubled and endlessly guilty. She hated him seeing wear such an expression. 

Vorona wondered what it was that Izaya did, that made Shizuo smile all the time. He stopped walking, and when she looked back, he seemed... _lost._

"I'm sorry."

And he did sound sorry. It was the most genuine apology that she had ever heard, and probably the most genuine apology that she will _ever_ hear. 

"You're great- no. That's doesn't even begin," And he was stuttering, tumbling over his words as if his tongue just couldn't keep up with his brain.

"You're _amazing,"_ He said it as if it were a fact. She couldn't help blushing.

"You've been amazing ever since we were kids. I knew it ever since you helped me save that cat from a tree, I remember that every day that I see you. But no matter how hard I _try_ I can't do what I'm supposed to do."

He looked so _pained,_ that she couldn't help but give him a small smile hoping to ease the burden that he was clearly feeling.

"What you're _supposed_ to do?" She asked, sounding just as lost as he did.

"I'm supposed to be enough for you to make you happy. I'm supposed to have my perfect family representing Avalon when I'm King and there's nobody more perfect than you. But even when I have everything laid out for me, I can't just _take it."_

Shizuo had always been this steady anchor with broad, unyielding shoulders and a good heart. But his shoulders were shaking now, and she could see his eyes glistening in the day light that was left.

"Maybe you're right to not take it."

He gave her a bemused look.

"If you take it, and we get married, we'll both be lonely after all. What's so wrong with wanting to be happy?" 

He stayed silent.

"Izaya makes you happy. You make him happy too."

"I can't be with Izaya," He said carefully.

She just smiled wider.

_"Why not?"_

And Vorona was sure that Shizuo had plenty of reasons of his own, of why it was so complicated to be with Izaya. But at her question, which sounded uncharacteristically wishful of her, she could see a few tears leave his eyes as if he had been waiting for someone, _anyone,_ to ask him such a question. 

"The press would be so annoying to deal with," He said. She laughed, and it felt genuine for the first time in days. 

"You always deal with the press well. Just don't hold back."

"What would my mum do?" 

"She probably cares more about your happiness then who you're dating."

"We're friends, right?" He asked, holding out a fist. She walked over and punched him in the shoulder instead, and smiled all smug when he winced. 

"Always."

-

They kept walking together throughout the courtyard, and it felt like they hadn't _really_ talked to each other for a year. Shizuo was so busy with the preparations of becoming King, and all the talking of their arranged marriage almost tore apart the friendship that they had spent years building. 

"So you think I'm perfect?" She asked.

"Pretty much." 

He didn't even seem bashful about it. How shameless.

"So what do you think about Izaya?" 

Shizuo frowned.

"I don't even know if I can trust him."

"But you want to?"

He huffed out a laugh, shaking his head slightly while biting his tongue. 

"To answer your question... he's..." And he thought about it for a moment, remembered a gash splayed across his abdomen and a loud laugh, "Annoying but bright. Like... like the sun."

She let out a small _humph._

"Suddenly perfect doesn't seem like much of a compliment."

"It is," He defended.

"It's not."

"It _is."_

"It's _not."_

-

"But it _is."_

"Except it's _not."_

"..."

"It is."

-

As Izaya sat there in the library, staring at the words floating on his text books that he wasn't reading, he wondered if he'd messed up somewhere along the way. 

He didn't know why he kissed Shizuo. But it wasn't much of a big deal. It was just one kiss. It didn't have to mean anything other than the simple fact that he was a little curious of its taste, because Shizuo always had been warm in everything else, and he couldn't help but ponder if his lips were just as warm. 

And that wasn't even the beginning of his problems. He came on the island with every intention to make a plan, and make a plan he did. Get Shizuo to fall for him so he could sit front in the coronation. The close proximity would help him cast a levitation spell of sorts so that the wand would come to him. And then he'd break the barrier. Set everyone free. 

That would most probably result in a full fledged war. And Izaya was a fan of chaos as much as the next person, but then he thought of people like Tanaka, who was the nicest guard he'd ever met, and his mother who had no will to fight anymore, and Beast, the great King of Avalon, who looked at the barrier every day with regret washing over his face. 

The idea of hurting people was never foreign to Izaya. One couldn't survive on The Isle if they didn't hurt people. But now he was left to think of all the people that he cared for that he really didn't want to hurt. 

Izaya always had liked the idea of a world with no barriers, but from whichever angle he tried to see it, it was just going to end in flames. So what was he supposed to do? Leave the barrier there? Leave innocent people to suffer?

"Izaya."

A familiar voice pulled him out of his stupor, and he effortlessly put on a charming smile, adding a cheerful, "Vorona-chan!", with it, and shoving his thoughts as far away as he could. He observed her intently as she narrowed her eyes at him slightly, before pulling a nearby chair close to the desk he was using and sitting down. 

"Something on your mind? You looked a little occupied for a moment there." 

"Just thinking about that literature essay that we have on Mulan and how I'm gonna turn 'she fought like a badass' into three hundred words, that's all." It wasn't exactly a lie, not completely, and he got a chuckle out of Vorona who had an uncanny resemblance to an Ice Princess, so he didn't feel the least bit guilty about the fib. 

Briefly, he wondered if Vorona would cry if he broke the wand, would mourn the magic that would be lost, before deciding that it wouldn't make a difference either way because he had already come to terms with the fact that he wouldn't be able to bring himself to do it. 

"You seem better," He said without thinking, and with a little smile he added, "Happier, I mean." 

Tucking a strand of hair which was a lot lighter than Shizuo's, he thought, she let the tug at her lips grow a little wider.

"I just thought I should tell you that Shizuo and I are staying as friends. The wedding's off."

Izaya didn't know why his heart skipped a beat, or why he felt something like relief at that. He had no reason to be _relieved_ of all things. This was something he should be completely indifferent to. 

"You both had a say in that decision, I hope?" 

Thankfully he sounded nonchalant, as he'd intended, and when Vorona nodded her head, Izaya thought back to a quiet night with hushed conversation. _'You don't love her',_ he'd told him, along with a _'You don't want to marry her'._

_'It doesn't matter what I want.'_

He wasn't sure if he was remembering Shizuo's words or his own. 

"I have to ask," He said loftily, with a supercilious smile, "What did you see in him?"

Ignoring his arrogance, she hummed, and folded her arms with grace and dignity that Izaya had more chance at mastering than Shizuo, who was clumsy, and rough, and a little too well meaning to put on such a persona. 

"Well, I've known him since we were kids. And he's always been this type of unyielding and stable rock for everyone. Everything about him screams 'King' and I just admired that, I suppose."

Wrinkling his nose, Izaya thought about how Shizuo always bit his tongue and held back, acted like that goody-two-shoes in front of the press, and the media, and with those fancy representatives. He thought about the first few weeks in the training grounds, were Shizuo had to physically wear himself out by chasing him, because he was always, always pretending to be someone else instead of himself in front of the camera. 

Maybe not someone else. That would be asking too much of Shizuo. Probably someone... less. Showing the world a shell of who he really was. 

Shizuo can't be King. But it seemed like he was the only one with such an opinion. 

"Something tells me you disagree," She commented, and he clicked his tongue, waving around his left hand airily as if he was thinking about what to say. 

"It's just that everyone here thinks Shizuo is so great. Everyone thinks of him to be this man, this great King," He grabbed his pencil and weaved it around his fingers, a force of habit if you will, and smiled a little smugly as Vorona rose a brow at him, "Really, it's his fault for giving off the impression that he is a great leader. Because at the end of the day, he's no man and he's no King."

He thought of the one time he was walking through a corridor, and caught a glimpse of some suit fitting Shizuo was having. He remembered how the crown didn't even fit on his head, and Shizuo's grimace from the slit of the almost shut door. 

"He's just a boy with a crown that's too large on his head."

Vorona seemed a little slack-jawed. Maybe no one before had ever dared to say anything bad about Shizuo, which was surprising, because the list of imperfections that Shizuo harboured would be endless if only those flaws weren't somewhat endearing. 

"You think he's not a good leader?" She asked.

"No," Izaya said without missing a beat, "But he can be."

_'You don't deserve that crown, beast.'_

"I guess, I wouldn't mind holding his hand till the crown fits," He thought out loud, because he had been doing that since he was seven years old anyway, "Or he could just wear it slanting, make a sort of fashion statement. Maybe I'll steal it instead. The gold would compliment my skin tone, don't you think?" 

Vorona was looking at him with this small, fond smile, as if he had done something out of the ordinary and great, and she just said a quipped, "Yeah," in agreement. So he shrugged and went back to his work, and she took out some books too. 

Vaguely, he wondered if he'd said anything wrong or unusual, but he couldn't find anything, so he put it at the back of his head along with everything else that he was trying to forget. 

-

Vorona didn't dislike the people from The Isle. She felt bad for them, and the majority of the population of Avalon felt bad for them too. There was a reason why Shizuo was able to bring four teenagers over from there, even if his fortitude and determination would have been enough anyway. 

She didn't dislike them. And even if a little weary of them, she wanted to get to know them. And she _did_ manage to interact with all four of them in the past few months, and even learned some things. Shinra taught her to be passionate about the things she loved while helping her in titration in chemistry. Erika taught her that to survive, you always need to have each other's back's in a team when she helped her up in a basketball game in P.E. instead of running toward the ball. Celty taught her that conversations with strangers were some of life's greatest pleasures.

And although Izaya didn't teach her much because he was just teasing smiles and a bit of a bastard at the surface, he was living proof that even kids from The Isle were capable of love.

-

As Izaya was being pushed against the wall after opening the door to a serious looking Shizuo, he thought that they had already done this before. Well, kind of. The being pushed against a wall part was new.

"Honestly Shizu-chan," He started, "Do you pick night time and my dorm as the time and place to brood?" 

Despite himself, there was a tug at the edges of his lip.

"Don't do that. I'm being serious right now."

Izaya glanced down at the hands grabbing at the collar of his shirt, and without thinking much he put his own hands on top of Shizuo's.

"Very serious, clearly."

"You're being threatened right now, Izaya."

He could spot threats from miles away, knew what danger looked like like he knew how a switchblade felt against the palms of his hands. And yes, he decided. This was a threat.

Izaya wrinkled his nose

"But you're Shizu-chan," He said, as if the idea of Shizuo being able to hurt him was impossible.

Shizuo's eyes seemed to soften. He rested his head on Izaya's shoulders, so that his lips were next to his ear. When he spoke, it was low, quiet. 

"I know that you wanted something from me."

Izaya's smile fell a little.

"I know the potion wasn't a prank."

His skin turned ice cold.

And Izaya could lie so easily, because lying came more naturally to him then his own name did. But it was _'Shizu-chan'_ that always rolled off his lips the easiest, and maybe that was why he couldn't put on the mask that he was so used to wearing. 

"I know you lowered the dosage."

As he held his breath, he absentmindedly wondered if Shizuo wasn't looking at his face out of kindness, so that he wouldn't see Izaya crumble and fall. 

"I don't know what you were planning. I don't know if you're still planning it. And, I don't know if I can trust you."

Izaya sighed, taking in a long breath while trying to calm his nerves. 

"You probably shouldn't trust the boy from The Isle, Shizu-chan." 

And for some reason, Shizuo laughed softly at that, and pulled away to look Izaya in the eye.

"I do trust you though."

"Why?" He asked quietly. 

"Because you're Izaya-kun." 

He felt like he wanted to cry. 

"Listen, Izaya. You're a pain in the ass, and cryptic as all hell. And most of the time, I don't know what's going on in that head of yours," And Izaya frowned, because Shizuo always seemed to hear the things that he never said verbally, "But, at the end of the day, you are my very best friend. You have been since we were seven. So you've got to tell me. Avalon. The Isle. Whose side are you on?" 

Izaya gazed into those hazel eyes with a searching look.

"Some of the people of Avalon are stuck up, but I like it here. And I want to help my people."

"I want to help your people too."

"But I'm on _our_ side, Shizu-chan."

And somehow, Izaya's always known this. He'd known this when he was seven years old and running to the barrier to play with the odd boy that always stumbled out of the forest. He'd known this in the naps they shared after spending hours chasing each other, and he'd known it whenever he saw Shizuo acting like the King that he actually was going to one day become. He'd known it when he thought about breaking the wand, because a broken wand meant a broken barrier, and without a barrier there would be no more walls.

He knew this, because despite his greatest ambitions, everything lead back to sun lit days and Shizuo. 

"I'm on our side." He repeated back to himself. 

Shizuo had something nebulous in his gaze. 

"That's good," He said lightly, taking his hands off Izaya's collar. But instead of pulling away completely, they found their way to Izaya's cheek, caressing his face, his fingertips brushing against the tufts of his raven hair. 

As Izaya looked up at him, the boy that used to hold his hand, he realized that it was just Shizuo himself, with his flaws and his rough edges that made him vulnerable like no one else ever could. He tried for a smile. 

"Shizu-chan," He said softly, and felt his heart clench in the way that Shizuo lightly hummed at the nickname, "What are you doing?" He whispered, not pulling away from the touch, but leaving his hands by his sides with no intention to pull him closer.

"We're friends. Friends don't do this."

There wasn't much conviction to his words, it was just a phrase that he believed to be true, but it was half whispered as he forced it out of his lips because Shizuo was suddenly _so close._ Shizuo just nodded his head. 

"What are you looking at?" 

Again, his voice was somewhere in between a soft whisper and a hushed sound. 

"What do you mean?" 

Izaya suddenly realized how taller than him Shizuo really was, because from this close he had to actually tilt his chin up.

"It's just that, you have this look in your eye. Like you're looking at a sky full of stars and galaxies."

And Izaya was remembering endless calculations that he'd gone through, and a colourless liquid sloshing around in a vile, but Shizuo was still looking at him with that fondness that he could never get sick of. It was a very particular look. As if Izaya was doing the most idiotic thing, and Shizuo still found it to be somewhat endearing. 

"I promise, I'm just looking at you Izaya."

He gulped when he felt his mouth go dry.

"Why?" 

Shizuo stayed silent.

_'The wedding's off,'_ Vorona'd told him. 

"You drank that antidote, right?" He asked shakily. 

"Of course I did, idiot," He soothed, a signature frown on his lips before continuing, "But I still wanna hold your hand, and..."

_'How about you go on a date with me?',_ Izaya'd asked, all those years ago, because it always had been fun to tease the boy that bathed in sunlight. 

"And you wanna go on dates?" He offered, voice still shaky. To his absolute horror, he nodded his head. And then, Shizuo's eyes wandered off to his lips.

"Can I?" He asked, not bothering to elaborate because of course he wouldn't, but maybe his intentions were obvious or Izaya was just that good at reading the situation. And he was terrified, because this wasn't supposed to be happening. The antidote should have worked. Why didn't it work? His heart felt like it had just been coated with ice. But at the same time Shizuo was close by, so he felt that warmth and the sense of belonging that he could never find in anyone else. 

It was wrong. Shizuo didn't deserve this. 

"Don't," He said, smiling faintly, depriving himself of the touch that he for some convoluted reason craved for, but protecting Shizuo from the lie that he was apparently giving in to.

"You'll regret it," He continued, the pull at his lips somehow growing wider, because if he couldn't do that much he was pretty sure that the stinging behind his eyes would turn into a problem. And Shizuo looked at him with concern, not pulling away but not getting closer either.

"I didn't regret it the first time," He said, all soft and kind. Izaya closed his eyes and leaned into Shizuo's touch despite of himself, exhaling softly as he vaguely wondered what he himself had done to deserve this, while ignoring everything he'd done that was deserving of such a punishment. 

"Maybe you will. The potion isn't out of your system, after all." 

Shizuo was scrunching his brows, something he tended to do when he was really deep in thought. 

"If you can't reciprocate my feelings, it's fine Izaya. You can be honest with me."

And then, he was opening his eyes, searching for a glazed over expression, because that's what victims of the potion looked like, but all he saw was Shizuo. 

"There are no feelings to reciprocate," He said simply, lifting his arm to put it over Shizuo's hand, watching that concern grow, taking in that glimpse of hope before blowing it out when he pulled away the warm touch from his cheek. 

"Go rest up, Shizu-chan. We'll fix this," He said, while grabbing a random jacket from off the floor and putting it on.

"Where are _you_ going?" 

"A walk," He answered, leaving behind Shizuo and his dorm without a second thought. 

-

The turn of events was honestly worrying, Izaya thought, as he walked past the school and the benches and lamp posts that trailed the lonely road. Under the night sky he felt small and insignificant, and he found comfort in it, because the stars looked at him as if he were just an ant, but Shizuo had looked at him as if he had the world in his hands. 

He really did think that he'd gotten the antidote right, that time. Poor Shizuo, thinking that he actually loved Izaya. It was so kind of himself to look out for Shizuo like that. And sure, it was his fault that he had feelings for Izaya in the first place, but that wasn't the point. But really, it wasn't a big deal. Rejecting someone you don't love is never a big deal. 

Izaya wondered what it would be like for him to like Shizuo. To really, genuinely and wholeheartedly love him. And the idea was so outlandish and bizarre that he couldn't help but laugh. So he laughed-

Laughed-

Laughed-

He clenched his left fist and crashed it into the lamp post next to him.

\- 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy I remembered the song 'My Love' by Sia, cause it was thanks to the instrumental version of that that I was able to write the second to last scene between Shizuo and Izaya. 
> 
> Hope the chapter left you screaming at our favourite two knuckleheads!


	12. Do You Think We'll Always Be Friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :breaks window:  
> :glass shatters:  
> :screams:
> 
> I have returned :)
> 
> ps: buckle your seat belts because this is a long one

It was early morning and Izaya was in the courtyard.

It felt nice to get some fresh air, almost like breathing life back into his lungs, and feeling colour go back to his skin. The orchids and sunflowers that filled up all the pockets of soil were beautiful in the colours of the rising sun, he thought as he remembered concerned eyes staring right at him.

It had been two weeks since Izaya had made the first correct antidote. The first week had passed by swimmingly, without a single bump or hitch. The antidote was perfect, manufactured under the watch of careful eyes and steady hands. Then, at the end of it, Shizuo made his world tumble and fall. And that's when he started making more antidotes. 

_'I like you,'_ Shizuo had told him, somewhere along the past few days when Izaya had locked himself up again, going through the calculations that Shinra had already confirmed to be immaculate till the very last decimal point. The three words were said without a hint of doubt, because Shizuo thought that he truly did fall for Izaya and that the boy was just wasting his time, trying to cure something that didn't need a cure in the first place.

But Izaya knew better. Izaya knew that Shizuo couldn't like him. Not like that. Besides, he'd been on a love potion just days before. Sure, it was weak in dosage, but having its effects lingering around and messing with Shizuo's emotions made much more sense than regarding it as genuine affection. 

The breeze kissed his cheeks till they were tinged with red, sharp against his skin, sharp like his tongue when the vile he'd been holding that night slipped from his fingers, sharp like the glass that broke apart into a million tiny fragments as he said _'You don't.'_

And it was all so convoluted and strange, he thought as the warbles of the birds danced in the air, waiting to be hummed from his lips. Because he did like Shizuo, maybe he always had, and it just took a little time to make him realise just how much he felt for the blonde. Just eleven short years to sort out his emotions.

Izaya could handle his own feelings. It's Shizuo's feelings that he couldn't bare.

Looking at the empty space around him, Izaya wondered if the other boy's presence had gotten even louder over the years, and if the sun had somewhat lost it's brightness along the way. Because Izaya was standing right under it, but he still felt like he couldn't see the sun.

-

Izaya felt like he had just walked into his own intervention when he made his way into the kitchen at around midnight. And judging from the looks of it, he probably had. 

Erika and Shizuo were looking at him with troubled expressions, Celty was tapping her foot against the wooden floorboards impatiently, and he could only wonder why the hell Tom and Kasuka were there too. 

"What's all this?" He was asking through an amused smile, glad to see that the counter was clear so that he could work on another antidote. He didn't much care if he had an audience; after all, everyone in the room already knew about the entire potion situation. 

"I like you," Shizuo said shamelessly, looking him directly in the eye, before adding, "Go on a date with me," as an afterthought. Izaya found it in him to laugh even if he could feel his own cheeks go red. All his years in the grungy streets of The Isle, an island that was notorious for being home to some of the worst people one could ever meet, and it couldn't hold a candle to all the bullshit he had to put up with here. 

_I like you too,_ he wanted to say, but knew all too well that that wouldn't be fair on Shizuo so he just took a step forward, somehow managing to find a fucked up form of amusement in all this, instead of wanting to break down crying.

"That's the potion talking, not you," He retorted easily, so nonchalant that he took pride in it, "I know I'm right about this, Shizu-chan. Don't you trust me?" 

"Fuck you," Shizuo replied without missing a beat, and shooting Izaya a glare while the latter just laughed, because the trust card always, _always_ worked on Shizuo.

"So let's get this straight," He spoke up again while making his way toward Izaya, closing the gap between them till the shorter of the two had to tilt his chin up, his signature grin proving to be unwavering, "You don't take my feelings seriously," He raised his index finger up as he said it, a telltale sign that he had a list prepared, and Izaya felt a pang in his heart when Shizuo couldn't keep the bitterness away from his tone, "You won't listen to Shinra who keeps telling you the dosage is correct. And you won't listen to Kasuka who already explained to you _why_ the potion worked in the first place, even if he's better at alchemy then you."

Izaya scoffed.

 _"Better_ is quite the exaggeration, don't you think?" 

"No, he's right," Kasuka piped up helpfully, "I'm better."

Even if Izaya could feel his own smile tightening a little, he couldn't help but admire the way that he said such a thing without a hint of cockiness. 

Although Shizuo and Kasuka were different in a million ways, they were also somewhat similar; in the way that arrogance couldn't touch them, and how both their different presence took up the space of a room. 

And as Shizuo said it all out loud, Izaya could tell that things didn't sound quite right, like he really was insane and should just let it go. But he grew up in a place where nothing was right. The only time he could feel at ease was when things clicked inside his head, when he was making plans, and when he felt like he had some semblance of control on the situation. And since life was messy, he was fine with plans failing, fine with hours of work going down the drain because his so called plan went off the rails. That had happened a million times, because Izaya had mapped out his life with them and watched them burn.

He schemed to make a small gang that now was a force to be reckoned with in The Isle, he aimed to find a way into the underground system and became its greatest informant, he had the intentions to use Shizuo to get the wand before realising that he couldn't bring himself to do so.

Plans fail. Things burn. But he always went _with it._ To go with the chaos, to embrace it, to make up things as you go along, that's the only way to survive on The Isle. But even within that chaos, there was always a limit to things. Not a limit to just how badly things could turn out he thought bitterly, but there was a cap to just how unexpected the events that occur can be. 

And Shizuo wholeheartedly falling for Izaya simply didn't fit in under any of that. 

Shizuo liking him didn't _click._ And when Izaya couldn't make sense of something then he had to follow his gut. 

"What's your point?" He asked, taking Shizuo's deepening scowl as a challenge. If this broke out into a chase he'd probably faint because he was quite literally operating on will power at that point. Sleep hadn't been coming easy these past few days.

"I'm banning you from the kitchen."

He blinked. Once. Twice. Felt his jaw go slack as he felt the weight of those words.

"What?" And he laughed, albeit nervously while trying to find his voice again, "You can't, don't be ridiculous-"

"But I can," Shizuo replied smugly, "And I just did."

His smile went sharp.

"So what, you're gonna have someone stand guard by the kitchen? Even you have to understand, as difficult as that might be, that that's not necessary."

Izaya was smart enough to know when he'd won a battle.

"No, Izaya, you're quite literally _banned_ from this room. It's a felony for you to enter."

And he was all to smart to know when he'd lost.

"A _felony?!"_

"Okay buddy, you're gonna pass out on the floor so, come on," Tom spoke up, leaving the huddled group and putting an arm around Izaya, "How about you go take a nap, yeah?" And they were exiting the room, leaving behind all the worried faces of his audience. 

_Screw them all,_ he thought briefly, feeling equally pissed and impressed that they managed to pull off something like that. 

"So you're no longer scared of me?" He questioned while selfishly pushing his weight on Tom. The first time they talked, Tom all but screamed at him with panic. 

"Hard to be scared when Shizuo won't shut up about you," He commented lightly once Izaya opened the room to his dorm. 

He was delirious from lack of sleep, and his eyes were already droopy, so as he watched Tom's retreating figure, he vaguely wondered how his body still had the energy to allow his heart to skip a beat.

\- 

As Izaya sat there, on the cold hard ground, in the jail cell, he couldn't help but feel flattered with all the special treatment. 

It wasn't much, just a little police station of sorts that was mostly used to hold people in temporarily. Not like anyone got in there for murder or anything. There were about five other people there; three bald men that were complaining about some bar fight, and two women that had to be at least a good six years older than him. One of them, with the curly black hair and cool biker jacket walked up to him, resting her back against the bars. 

"Never seen you around," She said, voice low and sharp, reminding him of how people talked back at The Isle, "Where you from, kid?" 

"The Isle," He said easily, smiling wide with anticipation for her horrid reaction. But, she just whistled, before looking at the three men who were getting louder by the second. It didn't help that they smelt like shit either. 

"If you three don't shut your mouth, I'm gonna fuck you up, you hear me?" 

Much to Izaya's amusement, they went quiet, while the other woman who was sitting in a corner of the cell started crying. 

"I'm in here because those three knuckleheads started a fight," She jutted her chin out in their direction helpfully, "And I decided to put a stop to it before anyone got hurt."

Izaya hummed, playing with the hem of Shizuo's hoodie that he'd decided to wear that morning. He may have gotten arrested, but at least he was comfortable. 

"How'd you stop it?" He asked, feeling genuinely intrigued.

All in all, the place wasn't that bad. Way nicer than anything you'd find on The Isle for sure. On the way in he couldn't see the entire station, but the jail cell was, for some wonderful reason, in the same room as what seemed like a reception. The cop by the desk was trying to fill in some paperwork, and when he got a particularly confused expression, Izaya knew that he must've gotten to _his_ file. Ironically, it just had the one crime. They could only take record of crimes he'd done on Avalon, after all. 

"Threw a chair at them. Smashed some bottles. The bartender cried." 

Her face was a void of emotion.

"Fascinating," he commented, probably looking much too comfortable for a guy that was thrown in a jail cell without any means of getting out. 

"So, what are you in for?" 

He gave her a slow, lazy smile.

"I tried to use the kitchen."

-

An hour later, he heard a commotion from the other room, and let out a satisfied sigh. Shizuo appeared just moments later and silently walked up to the jail cell. He looked at Izaya in a way that no one else had before. 

"You fucking dumbass." 

It was stated as a fact. Izaya couldn't help the laugh tumbling from his lips.

"I won't lie," he started, already loving the attention that they were receiving. The Prince visiting the local police station in a simple town on a weekend was a sight to behold, after all. "I kind of forgot about my ban. One of the palace guards spotted me in there, and hear this, the guy started _wheezing."_

Shizuo groaned miserably. 

"He was devastated, Shizu-chan, you should've seen it." 

Next to him, he felt Bridget, the cool looking woman with the even cooler biker jacket, nudge him in the ribs with her elbow. _"Shizu-chan?"_ She mouthed, to which he nodded to. She gave Shizuo a good thorough look from top to bottom. 

"Nice," She deduced, giving Izaya an encouraging pat on the back before walking away to tell that one lady to "S _top crying before you lose all your dignity. Or whatever's left of it."_

"Anyway," he continued, not minding being interrupted in the slightest, "I tried to tell him that we should go to you first, clear things up, you know? He didn't listen though. Said it was a direct order to send me to jail. Real smart Shizu-chan." 

Shizuo's expression was pained, as if he was torn between strangling Izaya or throwing another insult at him. 

"So I was on a train ride to the first town over. Had some members of the Royal Guard transfer me themselves."

Shizuo's mouth formed an 'o' shape, as if he had dawned on an epiphany. 

_"That's_ why two of them quit this morning." 

Izaya was shamelessly proud of himself, to say the least.

"Honestly, with how drastic you demanded the actions to be, I'm surprised I'm not being expected for my execution by now." 

Shizuo gave him a dull expression. 

"You're just confirming you're not gonna get executed, aren't you?" 

It was a question that Izaya could only smile to. Well, at least he wasn't going to get his head cut off, which was a relief, even he had to admit. The kitchen being out of bounds for him was quite unfortunate though, because it really was the only place where he could work well. Sure, setting up the apparatus was a pain in the ass, but it was out of the way enough so that no one unwanted ever walked in on him while he worked. All the labs would be locked up, so that left him with no decent places to work with. 

Shizuo really did play him well. 

"I could leave you here," Shizuo commented, and for the first time Izaya decided to take note of his appearance; his basic jeans, and how the colour of the shirt didn't match the sweater at all. He must have rushed all the way here the moment he'd gotten the news of his antics.

"You could," He agreed easily, not even trying to hide his smile when adding a cheeky, "But you won't." 

Shizuo sighed, and for the first time in a while, Izaya felt like he'd finally gotten a win. 

-

They were left in the small waiting room, just until the police got some paperwork over and done with since they did have to report everything that had happened. A taxi driver was already waiting for them outside since it was expected of them to return to the school campus as quickly as possible. 

They were in a comfortable silence, and at least they had chairs to sit on even if they were quite horrendous, by Izaya's standards. And then, there was a tentative touch at Izaya's hand, and Shizuo was intertwining their fingers.

"I really do like you, Izaya." 

It hurt to hear him say it. He always did sound like he genuinely believed himself. 

"And I'm not expecting you to return my feelings. You know that, right?" 

He's locked eyes with Izaya, gaze focused, falling somewhere between piercing and soft. "Of course," He replied, unable to keep himself from smiling. His smiles were always his best lies. And Shizuo could always, without fault, see right through him. 

"I'm asking you to trust me, that's all."

Something in Izaya tipped over. Fell, and tumbled and broke. The tug at his lips turned self deprecating and hollow. 

"I trust that you _believe_ that you like me. But this is all because of that potion. It must be."

Shizuo's shoulders visibly slumped at that, and it made Izaya bite his tongue. 

Making antidotes was out of the question now. But he did have an idea that could work. A plan was already starting to form in his head despite of himself. The very beginnings of a scheme that just might work if he played his cards right. 

"Yeah," Shizuo said, brushing his lips against the back of Izaya's hand and then giving it a little squeeze, "It must be." 

Looking at his sad expression, Izaya realised that Shizuo could be his, and wondered if he should just bury his concerns, and lock them away, just so they could never see the light of day. 

-

Izaya felt annoyingly bored as he sat there on his chair, tapping his fingers against the desk, a desperate attempt to entertain himself. He and Erika were sent to their own dorms, while Celty was told to go with Shinra and wait in his room. They were told to sit down and prepare. Now _what_ they were preparing for, he didn't really know, because the extra staff told them it was a surprise. He was half expecting it to be some sort of ambush, especially since Shizuo didn't seem to be directly involved in it, and was already debating contacting his friends and talking by Morse code to use one of their many, many escape routes. 

Since they had spent the majority of their time scheming to steal the wand, the four of them were constantly alert, and ready to make a run for it if need be. The stress of knowing that you could be caught red handed at any moment would probably destroy a person. But The Isle always did have that dangerous edge to it, because nowhere was ever safe, not even home, and the only reason you were still alive and breathing was because the chosen few people you decided to trust hadn't decided to stab you in the back yet. So, _this_ was nothing.

All their escapes were wonderfully creative. The plan was always to get back to their own territory if they'd get caught; The Isle. That's the thing about that island. Nobody could get out or in unless they were using the wand specifically; except for one, very particular place. The main entrance to The Isle, the one where there was the magical bridge that appeared out of thin air, and where the docks were located. That part didn't need a wand to open from the outside. So anyone from Avalon could enter The Isle if they just used the main entrance. It was the only useful thing they'd learnt in History class.

Besides, if they were caught they'd either be thrown back there or killed, and if it turned out to be the latter, then they had a better chance at hiding away in The Isle since they knew the place like the back of their hand, and they'd have a hope for survival. And the majority of the youth of The Isle was in the Dollars, the gang Izaya'd made. And then, that gang broke down into smaller divisions, but everything went back to him. So basically, if anyone messed with him and his friends, they were messing with half of the population of The Isle. 

Worst case scenario was Royal Guards fighting against The Dollars. The latter probably wound't stand a chance, one might think, but for them their home was a war zone, and a day didn't pass by in which they weren't fighting for their lives. Just give any kid from that Hell a stick to fight with, and they'd find a way to crawl out of the fire. 

It probably all sounded quite cowardly. A plan that consisted of running away to leave the innocent to fight for him. He loved being a coward, he thought, before remembering Kida playing with his younger sisters, and Kadota shaking his hand with a firm grip when Izaya'd made him the official leader of the first subdivision of The Dollars. And then he scowled, for too many reasons that he couldn't quite understand. 

A knock at the door pulled him out of his stupor. Out of all the people, he wasn't expecting the Fairy Godmother to walk in, a friendly smile on her lips and a laptop tucked under her arm. 

"Fairy Godmother," He greeted, a tug playing at his lips, "I've actually been meaning to talk to you."

She hummed in reply, setting up the laptop and fumbling about with the keyboard, and he took that as a sign to continue. 

"I was reading this book about the Enchanted Lake. It's in the forest past the Artefact Museum, right?" 

He came across it by luck. This lake with magical properties. Said to be in the forest that Shizuo crossed through every day to meet Izaya by the barrier. The very same forest where Shizuo took him for a picnic. Honestly, he was curious to tread through the forest, reach the point beyond the trees and the shrubbery; catch a glimpse of the barrier and their sunlit days. But even he wasn't enough of a masochist to follow through with that.

"Yes, actually. You haven't discussed it in class yet, have you?" She was asking, flicking the screen and pressing random buttons as if it would help. The laptop, which looked like the ancient contraptions he and his friends would sometimes find in the dumpster heaps of The Isle. Technology nowadays was much thinner and sleeker. He'd get his hands bloody to be able to use advanced technology at The Isle. His work as an informant would be a breeze. Alas, he'd have to stick with with what he had. 

"Nope. A shame really since it's so fascinating," He commented, pausing when her face brightened up because the screen _finally_ turned on, "So can it really get rid of any magical effects?" 

She gave him a sideways glance, pausing momentarily, and his smile tightened as he held his breath. 

"That's right. Why? Are you planning something?" 

He scoffed. 

"Can't one just ask a simple question?"

She rolled her eyes, which he appreciated, because normally that would be the part where Shizuo would punch him in the shoulder. 

"Yes, one _can._ But you're Izaya. I'll be damned if you do anything without any ulterior motives in mind."

"You wound me professor," He said, putting a hand over his heart, unable to keep away a sharp smile. She was all too right about that. 

"Just don't end up in jail again," And then she was folding her arms across her chest, looking at the laptop with a satisfied smile. 

"So you've heard," He quipped, finding himself stare at the screen, that was blurry but slowly getting clearer. 

"Professor?"

"Yes?"

"What's this?" 

She beamed at him. "Your surprise! Shizuo planned the whole thing," She said innocently. 

And then, his mother showed up on the screen.

-

Izaya wasn't good at being sentimental. He wasn't good with emotions in the first place, awfully notorious for using the clever tactics of humour and running away from things to avoid anything that required someone who wasn't emotionally constipated. It's not like he was one to _deny_ his own feelings. He never did that for long. But that didn't mean he felt the need to express that to anyone else. So sure, maybe he _had_ missed his mother, just the very slightest bit. That didn't mean she needed to know it. 

And well... his mother was a work of art in her own way. 

"So the house didn't burn down yet," He observed, feeling free to be as snarky and as crude as he wanted to be since the Fairy Godmother left the room so they could catch up privately. She dully rose a brow, while he just smiled the wider.

"Very funny Izaya. Now spill."

"Spill?" He questioned, resting his cheek against the back of his hand while wishing that he had one of those swirly chairs. Shizuo wouldn't let him get one because apparently Izaya was _'Already a menace to the world while sitting down, so God forbid you find a way to move when you're supposed to be stationary.'_

"It's been months, and this is _you_ that we're talking about. It's not like you spent this time just being a _normal_ school kid like Erika would've been." 

He clicked his tongue, thinking that, in his defence, and kid from The Isle would have done something a little out of the ordinary if they were dragged to Avalon.

"I'm surprised you haven't started a civil war."

Izaya thought about what he was going to have to do eventually, so he just grinned at the screen. "Not _yet_ at least," He remarked wryly. 

And so he started to tell his story, avoiding the sleepless nights, and the latest scheme he'd been making, and how he'd always thought that the sun would look so much brighter. He told her everything about Shizuo, only leaving out the _'I swear I'm in love with that boy'._ And as he talked, he looked at her piercing green eyes and pale skin, and tried to figure out every little thing that had changed so that everything he ever knew wouldn't pass him by to become something he could never recognise again. 

-

Their call was reaching the five minute mark, which was their time limit since internet at The Isle was only put up momentarily. At least that's what he gathered from the Fairy Godmother. 

"I'm surprised they could even put it up at all," He was saying, mostly to himself because who the hell put internet in a dump? 

"Well, things changed since you've last been here," She explained, and he rose a brow. 

"How so?" 

"That Shizuo boy," She started, eyeing Izaya keenly, as if she could figure him out by the way his breath left his lips. "He's been trying to make The Isle a better place."

And he could only let out a little, amused laugh, because _of course_ Shizuo was trying.

"He's a good kid." 

Izaya nodded slowly, wondering where she was going with this. 

"So whatever you're planning- And I know you're planning _something,"_ She added when he started to open his mouth to complain, "He sees something in The Isle so..." She paused for a moment as if mulling over the words, "So don't hurt him." 

She was saying it from a reasonable standpoint. Shizuo was helping her out because he was, _somehow,_ making The Isle a better place. So obviously, she'd say something like that. All Izaya had to do was agree lightly. 

"Trust me," And it was bitter to his own ears, "That's the last thing I want to do."

She furrowed her brows for a moment, before stumbling into some realisation of sorts. And then there was a small tug on her lips, and this unreadable expression; the same one she wore when he'd told her about his best friend that he couldn't keep when he was just ten years old. 

-

"The call is ending soon," She said. 

"Yeah." He looked at the timer at the bottom of the screen. Just a few seconds left. 

"Bye, mum."

He noticed her trying to suppress a smile. He rarely ever called her _'mum'._ He thought he'd give her the satisfaction of it for once. 

"Bye, Izaya." 

The call ended as abruptly as it had started. 

Izaya stared at the pitch black screen. It looked a little bleary. 

"Hey mum," He said quietly to the air around him, as if sharing a secret, "I miss you." 

His voice broke over the words, and he thought about how she'd said that the twins refused to be on the call because seeing him would make them miss him more, and all the meals that she must have been burning without him there to nag at her to check the oven. It was only then that the tears started trailing down his cheeks.

-

His cellphone rang a little afterwards, and since he couldn't read the name on the screen clearly, he just answered with a confused "Hello?" and a small sniffle. All he heard was a _"Fuck"_ from the other end of the line, and recognised it to be Shizuo.

_"You're crying?"_

Izaya pouted at the concern. 

"No," He said, before sniffling again.

Needless to say, Shizuo made his way to his room within minutes. He stood a little awkwardly after closing the door, while Izaya stared at him helplessly. And then, Shizuo rolled his eyes and opened his arms wide. 

Very slowly, Izaya got out of his chair, and walked over to Shizuo with his own arms open, letting out another sob escape his lips because this was Shizu-chan, and they'd shared naps, and pointed at stars, and saw the very worst parts of each other. He dug his head into his chest, while Shizuo patted his head. 

"Tell anyone about this," He started, voice muffled and watery, "And you're _dead."_

"I'm comforting you right now, idiot. _Be nice,"_ he scolded. 

Izaya just pouted into his shoulder but held on tighter nonetheless. And he hated himself for it. But for now, just for a little longer, he'd be selfish. 

Being selfish was all he ever knew, after all. 

-

Izaya and Shizuo had been messing around in the courtyard when the rain started pouring down. One would think that the two being left alone together would be nothing but awkward and angsty, but their relationship couldn't really be broken over the little, silly things. Like Izaya intoxicating Shizuo with a potion just to use him, or Shizuo trying to convince Izaya that no spell could be used as an excuse for his feelings towards Izaya.

To anyone else it would have looked like insanity; a toxic and horrible bond. But Shizuo was smart enough to gather that although Izaya had definitely planned on using him, he didn't follow through with it. And people from The Isle weren't taught about loyalty and good morals; they survived on being selfish and using any means to get what they needed to survive. Izaya was learning these things as he fumbled through life. And Shizuo would so very gladly stand by his side until he figured everything out. 

They'd been in each other's lives for so long. Even during the eight years where they drifted apart, they'd nudged each other in a different path than the one that was paved out for them. Izaya showed Shizuo a world that Avalon had misinterpreted, and although Shizuo didn't know it, his kind smiles and good heart stayed with Izaya, even when he trudged through dark alleyways filled with bad people. 

Shizuo loved him. And as Izaya spread his arms wide to laugh at the sky, gladly allowing the rain to soak his clothes, Shizuo looked at him in the same way that he did when he was seven years old, and wondering if he'd ever be able to find a girl to make Queen when he'd much rather spend his days playing with the lost looking boy from The Isle. 

-

Much to Izaya's dismay, Shizuo managed to finally drag him out of the rain, so since the fun was over they went into their respective dorms to shower and dry up. But Izaya was bored and didn't really know how to fill up the time, and he had to talk to him anyway, so after putting on an oversized sweater, he made his way to the blonde's room. He opened the door silently, and the sound of water from the shower head splashing on the tiles told him that Shizuo must have still been inside. So he made himself comfortable on the arm chair and played around with his folding knife. 

The water turned off, and after a few minutes Shizuo came out, with loose sweatpants and a fluffy towel in his hands that he was _raking_ through his hair. And he looked so very peaceful and calm, that is, _before_ his eyes widened once he caught sight of Izaya and a loud _"Fuck!"_ was escaping his lips. Izaya would have loved to offer a reply, but he would much rather stare at the part of Shizuo that wasn't fully clothed. He may have had a lean build but somehow still managed to have a toned chest and abs. This was torture for him.

But if being a masochist meant he got to check Shizuo out, then so be it.

When he still stayed silent at Shizuo's questioning look, Izaya wiggled his brows suggestively, and Shizuo just scoffed and threw the towel he was using at his face. "You're disgusting," He informed him with a deadpan expression that only made Izaya laugh, while briefly wondering how warm his skin would feel to touch. He'd been wondering what it would feel like to hold Shizuo's hand ever since he was seven years old, and years later, he was still wondering the same thing. It was pathetic of him. 

"Your hair's still wet," He observed while motioning for him to come over, and the blonde just stared at him before wordlessly complying once Izaya started to pout. So he sat on the floor facing away from him while Izaya dried his hair _properly_ , unlike how Shizuo had been doing it before, which was weirdly adorably violent. 

"I can dry my own hair," He complained, although it lacked any will to take back the towel for himself. 

"Is that what you were trying to do before? I thought you were attempting to rip it out- _ouch!_ My _knee!_ Rude, Shizu-chan!" 

Brushing his fingers through Shizuo's hair felt oddly therapeutic, despite the blonde's brutish tendencies. 

"Hey, Shizu-chan?" 

"Yeah?" 

"If I were to bring you water from the Enchanted Lake, would you drink it?" 

There was a beat of silence. 

"That's ridiculous, Izaya." 

He bit his tongue so hard that he could almost taste the blood on his teeth.

"What if I were to push you in it, eh?"

"I wouldn't have a choice that way, idiot." 

"That's what I thought," He said, sounding too self deprecating to be satisfied that he was right. 

And Shizuo would have probably said something else, asked him why he was acting so weird, but a knock at the door made them both freeze. It was a young lady, and judging from her uniform she was with the staff of the school. The girl, Akari, if he was reading the name tag correctly, was holding clean towels, and she let out a nervous little sound when she caught sight of Shizuo, who was half naked. Izaya winked just to mess with her. 

"Am I interrupting something?" She questioned, voice small and panicked. 

Shizuo perked up at that. He tilted his head up to look at Izaya, and with a goofy smile asked, "Is she?" with remarkable enthusiasm. Izaya dully rose a brow, and with a dull expression said a quipped, "Nope." 

Watching Shizuo deflate was revenge for assaulting his knee just moments ago, and so, he grinned in triumph. 

The nice looking girl on the other hand, not much older than them just looked helplessly confused, so she put the towels on the bed before very slowly, backing away.

-

Izaya was about to leave the room when he felt Shizuo grab his wrist. It was a firm hold but gentle nonetheless. Izaya tilted his head in question, because Shizuo's hair was fully dry now and he didn't really need to stay for any longer. It was quite late now anyway, and he could always _pretend_ to sleep. No one could take that away from him, he thought positively. But Shizuo just pulled him closer and lead him to the bed, and Izaya followed without a second thought. 

After a few moments they ended up in quite the comfortable position.. Shizuo was sitting up while brushing his fingers through Izaya's hair, and drawing patters on the sides of his face, while Izaya rested his head on Shizuo's lap. So every time he opened his eyes all he could see was the blonde boy that he loved. 

"You haven't been sleeping lately." 

It wasn't a question. Izaya hummed in reply, before trying to find his voice. 

"I'm in love with you, Shizu-chan." 

He would have thought that saying it would make his heart burst, would feel like fire works exploding in the sky. It didn't though. And it wasn't difficult to say at all, because he'd thought it so many times, over and over throughout the years. He was just never _aware_ of it until recently. He was charmed by Shizuo back when they were kids, and the same story happened once they'd met again. It was only a matter of time before he came to terms with it, but after loving him for so long, it really didn't feel like much of a big deal. 

The fingers brushing through his hair stopped for a moment, and he could see Shizuo's cheeks and ears tinge with pink, and he giddily thought, _I did that._

"I know," He said, and Izaya was forced to realise that he had been obvious about his feelings like an idiot, and he couldn't help but smile about it. 

"I'm in love with you too." 

"Oh really?" He asked around a laugh. Shizuo rolled his eyes and pinched his nose affectionately. It made him feel like his heart was swelling up.

"But you still think that it's the potion talking." 

Izaya thought about what Kasuka had told him; That the dosage was so weak that it shouldn't have worked so Shizuo must have, without a doubt, already had feelings for Izaya that he just hadn't been aware of. All the potion did was amplify what was already there. But Izaya couldn't believe him. It didn't _click._

"You know me too well." 

"I could buy you flowers," Shizuo then said, a blush finding it's way back to his cheeks, "To convince you." 

He laughed at that, and it felt good. But his smile dropped all too quickly. "I'm so tired Shizuo." 

He visibly flinched at being called by his first name for once, and Izaya thought it to be cute. 

"I know," He replied soothingly. 

"I can let all of this go." He said. Because he could. Just drop it all. Give up on trying to do the right thing. He could stay here on Avalon, give into Shizuo's lie. "I could bury my concerns. I could believe you and lock it all away." 

It could just be sunlit days from now on. 

"I could stop all my plans," He continued, "Give up."

He took in a deep breath before letting out a tired sigh.

"Go to bed, you know?" 

Shizuo seemed to consider the words. And this should have been all that he ever wanted. Izaya was offering the both of them a way out. Shizuo knew Izaya. He knew he wasn't going to stop until he got his way. But Izaya was telling him that he would stop. Just for him. A one time offer. He'd jump on it immediately, say _"Yes, of course idiot"_ and then Izaya would laugh and smile, and stare at the ceiling till morning came. But Shizuo didn't look overjoyed or relieved. Instead he looked, to simply put it, a little sad. 

"But would you be able to rest?" 

Izaya stared up at him, before giving him a little smile and closing his eyes. For the first time in a long while, sleep came easy to him.

-

It was the eve of the coronation. Izaya had just finished confirming everything with his friends. It was actually great that they had been planning on breaking the wand in the first place, because that was serving as a base for their latest scheme. He wasn't even surprised that they were helping him out, even if they were sure that Shizuo wasn't under the effects of any potion; they'd follow each other till the ends of the Earth. That's simply how they survived for so long. 

Currently, he and Celty were zooming past the school, through the countryside, and the multitude of adorable little villages. She then transformed Shooter, her motorcycle, to make a contraption that looking like a fluffy cloud (because yes she could do that), and with it they passed over the forest instead of walking through it. Despite all the greenery and trees that littered Avalon, there were only two main forests on the crescent shaped island. The smaller one lead to the magical bridge, which in turn lead to the main entrance to The Isle. That was one of the reasons that he and Celty were breaking school policy and exiting school grounds; they wanted to scope out the area so that everything would go smoothly the following day. 

The other, much larger forest was on the other end of the island. In it there was the Enchanted Lake, and the hut of the best blacksmith on Avalon that he'd never met; and it led to the only part of the barrier that wasn't completely immaculate. 

The sky was a blanket of grey clouds, and that wasn't much of a surprise since it was January now. The cool wind caressed his cheeks, and he wet his lips while closing his eyes. Being up there, over the world, with Celty, made him want to stay there forever. 

A finger poking at his shoulder made him lazily open an eyelid.

**[Something tells me you didn't want to just scope out the area.]**

He gave her an amused smile.

"You remember Tanaka, right? That guard from The Isle?" 

She nodded at him, and all he could see was his reflection staring right back at him in the dark of her helmet.

"Well I did my research, and I think he should be having a shift here."

She stared at her PDA for a moment, typing and then erasing the text, before deciding on; **[You miss him.]**

The tug at his lips was wolfish and mirthful, and when she tilted her head in question, he reached inside his jacket to pull out a taser. 

"I stole this a while ago. Thought I should return it, that's all." 

Below them, he could see that they had passed the forest, and that they were now in a clearing. The edge of the island couldn't be more than a five minute walk away. 

**[You're horrible Izaya.]**

He gasped in mock hurt as she lowered the cloud, and pouted even harder when she turned the shadows back into Shooter without warning, making him collapse on the ground on his butt. 

"I can't believe you're being so mean to me Celty! We're partners after all!" 

She scratched her chin with her slender and black-gloved fingers, and then shook her head a little. He was actually confused at that. Despite all the mocking they really _were_ partners. Back at home, it was the two of them that worked mostly in the underground system, and normally they joined forces because Izaya knew everything about everyone, while she had _actual powers_ (even if she didn't use them quite often) and a motorbike which meant quick transport. It would make him seem like a crutch to her brilliance, but the two of them were completely competent on their own. 

He preferred to stalk his victims and get to know them a little first before getting his hands dirty anyway. _'Enjoy the process,'_ is what he'd always told Celty whenever they worked together, while she immediately lugged the perp onto Shooter in order to get the job done quickly. Maybe she was a little too nice to play around with people like Izaya did. 

So when she shook her head at the mentions of their partnership, Izaya's smile dropped. But she noticed and quickly fumbled about to type out an explanation for the way she reacted. 

**[Your real partner is Shizuo, if you ask me.]**

He read over the message a few times, and gave her a confused, crooked smile. But slowly, he started to understand what she meant. He had a different relationship Shizuo than with anyone else. The closest thing he could associate it to was the one he had with Celty; specifically when they were out at work. They saw each other as equals, even if Celty never knew much information about the victim like Izaya did, and even if Izaya didn't hold a semblance of magic while Celty had her shadows. They helped each other out, and gave each other tips to improve. Despite both being competitive in the underground business, they both wanted the other to genuinely get better and climb the ranks. They were closest to each other whenever they were out on the field, after all; communicating wordlessly and fist bumping whenever they got another job done. 

Being with Shizuo, had _always_ felt like that. 

Shizuo really was his partner. And the thing about partners, is that for some odd convoluted reason, you wanted to see them get better without taking anything for personal gain. 

_'He's just a boy with a crown that's too large on his head.'_

Izaya had always thought that about Shizuo. But he would have loved to stay by his side to see the day that the crown fits. He smiled bitterly at the impossibility of the thought.

**[But we'll always be Partners in Crime. Till the very end.]**

Reading through that cheered him up, so he gave her a knowing smile, and with a final fist bump he turned around, throwing the taser in the air and almost accidentally electrocuting himself in the process. 

-

_At the very young age of thirteen, Izaya was aspiring to get into the underground system. Do some jobs, bring some people down, get a name for himself._

_It wasn't going to be easy. At first he'd have to convince that one man, Shiki, to let him in on more action. He'd already nagged at him and annoyed him enough to technically be involved in it, but he wasn't actually doing anything. He was 'Too young, and too weak, and he'd die on the first day of being tasked to do anything', was what he heard everyone around him say whenever he snooped through the files in Shiki's office instead of just arranging them._

_"You still won't give me a job," Izaya had drawled on one lazy day, sprawled out on the uncomfortable couch while throwing sticky darts at the dart board from across the room. Shiki glanced at him over some document that he was reading, and his reading glasses fell down the slope of his nose a little as he clicked his tongue._

_"I'm surprised you're keeping quiet and staying put at all. Normally a simple 'no' from the leader of the biggest underground organisation would never be enough to stop the great Izaya from doing what he wants."_

_Izaya scowled, but he couldn't say much. He'd gotten in trouble plenty of times over the years; he'd met Shiki after the man found him passed out on the side of the road. Ever since then, he stuck to the feared man and annoyed the living crap out of him._

_"I can't believe you're bragging about that, old man."_

_Shiki laughed at the bitterness in his tone._

_"You just think I'm gonna end up dead like everybody else does."_

_He hummed at the accusation, and it only made Izaya scowl harder._

_"Actually," He finally said, "I'm just waiting to see what you would do."_

_Izaya rose his brow, and the older man sighed._

_"People like you think too quick and know too much to follow orders. Might as well not waste my time trying to treat you like some henchman. The only piece of advice I can give you is to be quiet, which will be hard for you."_

_Izaya never did quite understand what he meant by that. He wasn't stupid. He knew how to keep things to himself, and he only ever annoyed people when he knew he could get out of it alive._

_"Oh and one more piece of advice: Stay alive. If someone kills you, walk it off. I don't need to be on Maleficent's bad side," Shiki warned._

_Izaya laughed at that, and almost replied with a 'She wouldn't care', before biting his tongue because he knew better._

_-_

_Izaya did end up becoming a valuable asset to the underground. He didn't do the traditional jobs of beating people to death, or anything that involved getting his hands bloody. Instead, he had a more eloquent manner of doing things._

_At a young age Izaya realised how priceless information was. So he started taking notes about everything and everyone. He couldn't directly engage quite yet, so he perfected throwing knives, and making diversions, and finding escape routes in order to run away and never get caught. He never understood the need of getting his hands dirty when he was much better off at being an informant._

_He made his debut when he just turned fourteen. He went up to a very tired Shiki, and gave him a large set of documents that he'd been making for the past three months. A generally minuscule part of the organisation was planning on rebelling against him. Despite their small numbers, they had access to the weapons department._

_They barely had any food on The Isle, but that didn't stop them from making tools of war. The thought made him feel sick._

_They didn't have any guns per se, but a couple swords and axes were enough to cause a blood bath. Shiki_ _would have been overthrown, the underground would have collapsed to shambles, and The Isle would suffer from it. It's not like things weren't already bad. They always had been bad, and, always will be. The thing is, that if these idiots succeeded, things would somehow get worse._

_Shiki was basically the puppet master of The Isle. He ordered subordinates to silence folks that he thought needed to be silenced. Like that one guy that was going around killing children on the streets, or that gang of idiots that were stealing everything from the market._

_To be clear, he wasn't an innocent man. He was a bad guy. Everyone in The Isle was._

_But wordlessly, Izaya left him the proof, and a list of the names of people that were planning on turning against him. With a mocking bow and a sharp smile, he exited the office._

_He'd do anything to keep this Hell from getting worse._

_-_

_"You locked them away?" Izaya was asking casually after a tiring day of stalking Gothel to see if she brought Erika any gifts for her birthday (under Erika's request, of course)._

_"Indeed I did. What, you wanna go down there and stick your tongue out at them?" Shiki asked him. Shortly after getting Izaya's information, he took action. The boy just gave him a crooked smile._

_"It's just that locking people up isn't your style. You normally..." And then he drifted off, and dragged his thumb against his neck while clicking his tongue, "You know?"_

_Shiki examined him for a moment, before letting out a sigh and lacing his fingers, so that he could rest his chin on top of them._

_"Well, you made the list. If I ordered them to be killed... well I would have only ordered that because of you."_

_Izaya rose a brow. "So?" He asked, ignoring the way his heart felt cold._

_"I just didn't want you to feel like there was any blood on your hands."_

_Ever since that day, Izaya started to feel repulsed whenever he saw his knives tainted with blood, and quite triumphant whenever he avoided seeing the ugly stein on his hands._

_-_

_Celty officially joined the underground a little later after Izaya did. At fourteen he had already found his niche. He mostly worked alone, and just like Shiki predicted, didn't really take orders. He knew everything about everyone, kept tabs on just about anything that moved. The word quickly caught on; if you needed a certain job done, or needed some information, Izaya was your guy. And the fact that The Dollars was under his leadership just made him sound cooler._

_He was excited about getting Celty into the system. She would do great._

_But she wasn't great on her first day. For once, he didn't know the details, and decided that he wouldn't pry in respect towards his friend. He found her in some alleyway, knees tucked against her chest. Even Shooter looked depressed._

_**[I couldn't follow the rules. I had to take someone out but I couldn't bring myself to do it.]** _

_That was all that she typed on her PDA, but Izaya just puffed out his cheeks._

_"Rules are stupid," He said, and she perked up at that._

_"We're too great for rules. Just do your own thing like I do," And then he took a seat next to her, even if the ground was grimy and repulsive, and he really liked the pants that he was wearing, "I don't get involved in direct fights either." She started typing enthusiastically at that._

_**[Really?]** _

_"Yep!" And he gave her a cheeky grin, "So don't give up. We can be the two people in the underground that don't kill people. We'll sound really cool!"_

_From the way her shoulders shook, he thought that she was giggling._

_**[So we can be like... Partners in Crime?]** _

_His eyes lit up as he read the text._

_"Yeah! We'll be Partners in Crime! Till the very end!"_

_He balled his hand into a fist, and Celty met him halfway to do the very first fist bump of their glorious partnership._

_-_

_Celty started doing deliveries. Delivering drugs, weapons, people. She followed in Izaya's footsteps; mostly working solo but reporting whatever she did directly to Shiki. The name 'Headless Rider' started catching on, and when Shiki teased Izaya that he didn't have a cool nickname of his own, the boy just scowled, and flipped off one of the most feared men on The Isle, before storming out of his office._

_He walked back in moments later, and ordered him to not allow his sisters into the system because lately they'd been showing interest in joining. Shiki just laughed, before relenting and promising that he wouldn't._

-

Izaya's resources were unsurprisingly correct; as he approached the edge of Avalon, which gave away to the sea, he could see that there was the dock, and a small guard station. And in that station, was Tanaka, looking the same as ever. He briefly noted that the bridge wasn't up, so it looked like a dead end.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" 

The voice was hostile and strict, but the tug at Izaya's lips only grew. 

"Tanaka-san, is that really how you greet me after all this time? You have ruined our fated reunion!" 

Tanaka recognised that voice immediately, and he was out of the station to ruffle Izaya's hair within seconds. Izaya complained and tried really hard to scowl at the action, afraid that a delighted smile would slip out. 

"I have a gift for you," He announced, while dangling the taser in front of him. The man rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue in annoyance before taking it back. 

"That was mine. You _stole_ it from me," He scolded. 

"Indeed I did." 

"I had to make myself sound like an idiot and say that I lost it in order to get another taser," He continued, repeatedly hitting Izaya on top of his head. 

"You didn't rat me out?! I just might cry," He drawled, before turning to the ocean to look beyond it. After all their playful jabs and messing around, the two always ended up in a peaceful silence, enjoying each other's company while looking at the sea, because he never could find Tanaka far from that endless blue.

"Hey Tanaka?"

The man hummed a wordless question. 

"You once told me that I had this lost look in my eye." 

The ocean was vast and endless. And beyond it, there was nothing. Nothing else that his eyes could see. He could reach out; stretch his arms, but his fingertips would be so far from the horizon. And what good was that when he wanted to see beyond it? He should have been happy with the view in front of him, and the wind in his face, and the smell of salt in the air. 

"I did." 

He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking about his younger days, and how Celty got the really cool nickname of _'Headless Rider'._ It was her title, a sort of identity. Izaya thought that his own name must have been enough of an identity for him, judging from the way people whispered it around him, and how he walked through the collapsing island with his head held high, as if he was wearing a mantle and crown that nobody else could see. 

But despite his arrogance and his pride, he always did see himself as the lost boy from The Isle. 

"I just think that I've always been lost."

The smile on his lips felt hollow and condescending. 

"I can't help but wonder... how can you find the road back home when you've been lost for all your life?" 

He didn't look at Tanaka when he asked the question, because he didn't want pity. He wanted answers. But maybe, that was his problem all along. The search for answers and for always wanting to know more. He could never be happy with the view in front of him. Just like he couldn't help but wonder what was beyond the horizon of the sea, he also touched a boy that was from a world that burned a little too brightly for someone like him.

"I think everyone has a home," Tanaka reasoned from right next to him, "Even if they don't realise it." 

At that moment Izaya remembered of when he was younger and Shizuo was teaching him about constellations, and he'd thought that he'd just follow the star that lead him to Shizuo. And he couldn't help but wonder if that was what _home_ felt like. 

-

"You nervous for tomorrow, Shizu-chan?" 

He could see Shizuo visibly flinching in surprise, and he couldn't blame him. He thought to pay the courtyard a final visit, even if night had already fallen and the stars were out. Shizuo must have had the same line of thought. 

"Maybe," He replied. 

"If you do anything embarrassing I'll have a view from the front row seat. I'll get all the details, so I'll be able to make fun of you for life." 

Shizuo scoffed and jabbed him in the ribs. 

"You're horrible, Izaya." 

Izaya just smiled before leaning in close, and resting his head against Shizuo's chest.

After a moment of not knowing what to do with himself, he wrapped his arms around Izaya. Despite himself, he laughed into the embrace, and the both of them couldn't help but wonder why it felt like their last. 

-

The coronation truly was a sight to see. It was being held in the school which looked nothing short of a palace anyway, in the hall on the ground floor. From the front row seats, Izaya ignored the extravagant dresses and the expensive chandeliers to look at the positions of the guards and that all the exits were free. The fact that he had to do this while wearing such uncomfortable attire was just annoying. 

The music picked up, and shortly after, Shizuo started walking down the isle, in his navy blue and marigold trimmed suit. He looked like a rightful King, Izaya thought, as he made his way up the steps to face the Fairy Godmother. Izaya almost gave into being selfish, and just letting it go; he could do nothing. But then Shizuo looked at him, just for a little less than a second, and it seemed expectant. Like he was just _waiting_ for Izaya to do something. 

He _wanted_ Izaya to stir up trouble and to make his life hell. Since they had a mutual understanding, which was no surprise since the two of them were somehow always on the same page, he shot Shizuo a sharp grin, and the words left his lips before he could think twice. 

Silence hit first. The audience was dead quiet, the Fairy Godmother was confused, as well as Beast and Belle. 

And the wand was finally in his hands. The spell he'd learned for attracting tangible objects toward him had worked. What he wasn't planning on though, was feeling it crinkle with energy, so when he panicked a little, he pointed it at the crown without thinking, because he'd accidentally seen Shizuo frown at it a million times before. A beam erupted from the wand and the golden crown, resting on it's fancy pedestal, blew up in flames. People were staring at him agape. 

"I meant to do that," He claimed smoothly.

Then, black shadows erupted from where Celty was sitting, and they coiled around the guards and the Fairy Godmother like tight vines. The main threats were detained. Perfect. As he got out of his seat, he thought about how underwhelming it felt to have such a powerful magical item in his grasp, despite having blown up a priceless royal artefact just moments before. It felt like any other wooden stick that he'd held as a child; pretending to have legendary sword fights till he and his friends could no longer see the fuzzy ball in the sky.

Slowly, he got out of the row of seats while plastering a smile on his face.

"Izaya?" Shizuo was saying, confused and lost. He was expecting something, but it was safe to say that he wasn't anticipating _this._ Everyone looked absolutely horrified. Hushed whispers of _"I knew it,"_ and _"It was only a matter of time,"_ filled the air.

His smile grew wider.

"If you all knew this was going to happen, why didn't you _do_ anything?" He taunted. Everything went silent again. 

"Nobody get's close," He said calmly, starting to back away, "If anyone makes one move, I'm breaking the wand." 

The air was suffocating him. Somewhere in the audience, he caught faces of the people that he'd been living with for the last few months. There was Hina who had noticed that his form was flimsy in baseball, so without a second thought she showed him the correct stance. 

_"I'm surprised you came over to me so easily. I swear some people are scared to approach me," He'd joked, wanting to press her buttons._

_"I'm surprised too," She replied honestly, while adjusting the placement of his feet, "But baseball is super fun. Everyone should help anyone play it. Not helping you just cause you're the son of Maleficent is stupid."_

_Not expecting such a response, he'd laughed and smiled._

She looked regretful now.

He thought he spotted Ichiko too, the girl he'd met when he accidentally walked into the girls' bathroom that one time when he was delirious for sleep. She helped him back to his dorm, and told him she'd cover for him in class. The next day, some of the teachers expressed their relief at seeing how he had healed so quickly from food poisoning. He'd just smiled, feeling amused, and once he made eye contact with the nervous looking girl, he shot her two very enthusiastic thumbs up. 

Now, she looked close to bursting into tears.

When he finally made it close to the exit, he saw Nishikata too, looking at Izaya angrily. They'd met at the library, and bonded over their shared hate for surprise tests. 

It felt like Hell, but it was fine, because he'd done what he needed to do. "Don't look so shocked, Shizuo. This was bound to happen," He called out, laughing to keep his voice from going wobbly. That was the signal. Shinra and Erika would be ready any minute now.

"Izaya, what are you _doing?"_ he was asking, walking away from the pedestal where the crown was waiting for him, and toward Izaya. 

He could have pointed the wand at him like he had pointed knives at him a million times before. But provoking Shizuo was a suicide mission. He just needed to buy them a few more seconds. 

"Shizuo," He said, loud and clear, looking him directly in the eye, "I _have_ to do this." 

He wasn't acting. He was genuinely pleading, and Shizuo knew it, judging from the way he stopped dead in his tracks, all anger dissipating from his face. That is, before he saw the beginnings of Izaya smiling. At the sight of that curling lip, both of them knew who had won this. 

"Erika, Shinra, now!"

He could hear glass vials crashing against the floor, and then there were puffs of green smoke that were travelling across the room like wildfire. It was their latest potion; one sniff and it would send just about anyone to sleep. They planned it in such a way that the gas would reach the Fairy Godmother and the guards first, so that Celty could get out of there as quickly as possible since she was essential for their escape. Shinra and Erika immediately followed after her. For everyone else, the gas was blocking the main exit. There was no way they could escape. 

"You want the wand, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked as he backed out of the doorway, "Come and get it," He challenged, before closing shut the large oak doors. 

Outside, Celty had already handled the nearby guards. 

**[Think you can make him chase you till the forest?"]**

"Of course," He replied, and watched the three of them take off so they would meet him there. 

Without missing a beat, he started running, jumping over bodies of unconscious soldiers that would wake up within an hour or so. From behind him, he could hear the oak door opening. 

"II-ZAA-YAAA!" 

He laughed as he heard the scream from behind him, and then he was running, running faster than ever before, and briefly thanked Shizuo's beast-like immune system for not giving into sleep, like a normal person's would have.

-

_"I could bury my concerns. I could believe you and lock it all away. I could stop all my plans. Give up. Go to bed, you know?"_

_-_

_"But would you be able to rest?"_

_-_

Izaya huffed out a breath once he arrived at his destination. The ground wasn't full of dirt and grass, instead it was paved over with cracking stone. And he could see the lake, a pool of blue and green, sparkling, even if the sun was hiding behind the clouds on that day.

He climbed up a nearby tree, and rested on one of the thicker branches. The wand felt heavy in his hands. "You guys up there?" He called, and seemingly from the skies, he could hear Erika saying "Yes, idiot! Now shut up!" 

It was quite the brilliant idea. Shooter in the form of a cloud provided to be great transport, and since the weather was cloudy, they could just use them as cover until they arrived back to The Isle. All he had to do now, was to wait. And soon enough, Shizuo came stumbling through on the stone path, a concerned "Izaya?!" at his lips as he walked over to the lake.

"Shizu-chan!" He greeted as he hopped off the branch, making the blonde turn around. 

"The enchanted lake," Shizuo mumbled, and Izaya just grinned. 

"You basically implied that I'd have to _push_ you in it so that's what we're doing," He explained, as if it were obvious. 

"Right," He said numbly, and Izaya tilted his head. "So you're believing me that easily?" 

"When the power of the wand surprised you, you aimed it at the crown so you wouldn't hurt anyone. And then you said you'd break the wand if anyone moved, but when I walked toward you, you just panicked. But you didn't break the wand. It was a bluff." 

Izaya frowned at being figured out so easily. 

"You take the fun out of everything, Shizu-chan." 

And then without warning, he pointed the wand at him, and said the words to the second spell that he'd learnt; with a quick flick of the wrist, a gust of wind erupted from the wand, and Shizuo was thrown backwards, and he landed in the lake with a splash. 

"If that doesn't heal you, I don't know what will," He said, looking over to see Shizuo's head emerging out of the water. He dropped the wand on the floor, and gave Shizuo one last smile. 

"Don't be a stranger, Shizu-chan," He said, before letting out a loud whistle. A black shadow emerged from the clouds, wrapped itself around Izaya's waist, and then he was yanked up to the sky with a loud yelp. 

_"Celty,"_ He whined when he was safely on Shooter, "My exit was supposed to be cool!" 

She ignored him, and Erika just punched him in the shoulder, stating that he was never cool anyway.

Zooming through the clouds, he high-fived his friends for pulling off such a stunt. And for the first time in a long time, he felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. 

-

Shizuo clumsily made his way out of the lake, and collapsed onto the stone pavement. "God dammit Izaya," He mumbled exasperatedly, clutching the dropped wand close to his chest, "You just _couldn't_ accept the flowers, could you?" 

-

_When Shizuo was seven years old, his best friend had been a boy named Izaya._

_"Shizu-chan."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Do you think we'll always be friends?"_

_"I dunno."_

_"Do you want to, though?"_

_"Only if you do."_

_"In that case, let's be friends forever."_

_"Okay."_

_"Now shut up, I wanna take my nap."_

_Shizuo rubbed his chin thoughtfully._

_"Forever is like... a stupidly long time."_

_From the other side of the barrier, Izaya groaned at his insightful opinion._

_-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Black Lives Matter. Obviously. 
> 
> Also just wanted to say that you guys have been super supportive during my break to catch up with work so, I send my love to y'all. The story also has about a thousand hits, so I'm patting you guys on the back cause we have an army now.  
> We strike at dawn.


	13. The Test Of Fucking Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this update is late but the chapter is over 13,000 words so like it's fine I-
> 
> PS: When you reach towards the end, try to listen to 'Wicked Games' (cover of ursine vulpine ft. annaca I believe) cause I think it fits the last scene really well and brings the emotions out more. 
> 
> I'd say enjoy the chapter but I rather wish your emotions and sanity some luck

_Ever since Shizuo was younger, he was told by the adults around him that he had quite the big heart; a stark contrast to his short temper. He'd throw tantrums sometimes, and didn't even know how to control his own strength; he was petty, and a brat, just like every other kid his age. His parents didn't have it easy. But still, that didn't change the fact that his heart was there, and it was big and bursting with potential to love, and to break, just to be mended so it could love again because he knew no better._

_While he found a lot of things about the world that he considered to be dumb, or as he'd now call it, to be 'bullshit', he thought that the world wasn't such a bad place. Some of the people around him were annoying, and he had to spend hours practising the way he spoke, the way he walked, the way he should always smile in front of his people (but Shizuo was too honest to act so fake, so that only ever went so far)._

_But he'd loved the songs of the birds, and how the sun made his skin turn gold. He loved how Tom always shared his toys, how Vorona always climbed trees with him, and how Kasuka went to him whenever he got a bad nightmare._

_Life for young Shizuo was, in general, good._

_He'd learned about how Avalon came to be, and how the bad people were locked up in The Isle of The Damned, and he never gave that entire concept a second thought. He'd heard rumours about the villains having children, and thought it to be scary, because that just meant having even more bad people around._

_At the age of seven, his most worrying concern went beyond the excuses his parents could make up; Sure they ruled a kingdom, and participated in debates and elections, and were responsible for making the future of their people a bright one. But Shizuo had an anomaly to deal with;_ _Rocks. A mountain of them, on Avalon's side of the barrier._

_He had never seen them there before, because he crossed the forest multiple times, and rested his back against the barrier as he gazed up at the sky. These rocks were new. They weren't Avalon's rocks._

_So, like the dutiful boy he was, he started to throw them back, because he'd known a secret. A secret that nobody else knew._

_The unbreakable barrier had a part of it which was wobbly. It was such a small part, weak enough to ripple like water but strong enough to keep his hand from going through. But for some odd reason, the rocks were allowed a right of passage. So, after hours of meticulous work, he was done with his mission._

_They appeared the next day._

_And the next._

_And then the day after that too._

_He'd thought some invisible force was messing with him._

_So one could only imagine his surprise when he'd stumbled out of the forest, with bruises on his cheeks and dust on his knees to catch a glimpse of a boy on the other side. He felt his heart skip a beat._

_The boy was from The Isle. The island full of bad people._

_And he looked pale and skinny and bored._

_He wanted to run away, and pretend he never saw anything. But then, Shizuo realised that he had just thrown a pebble at the barrier._

_"So you're the one throwing rocks on our side!"_

_-_

_There first meet-up had been quite brief. They exchanged a few words before falling into silence. Shizuo took the time to think about how villains were cold-blooded people that hurt everyone without a second thought to get what they wanted. It's what the history books implied, and what the story books said, and what the fancy looking psychologists were insisting on. But looking at the raven haired boy made him frown at such a thought, deeming it dumb and stupid and utterly ridiculous, because the boy in front of him wasn't much different than any other kid he'd seen on Avalon._

_Still. He could've walked away. But Shizuo always did find it easy to love things. And, in their very short talk, he decided he loved the abnormal colour of the boy's eyes, and how he'd stood up to him, claiming that he'd just been setting the rocks free._

_"Will you be here again tomorrow?"_

_Izaya was there again tomorrow. And so were the rocks. On Shizuo's side of the barrier. And for the first time, he left them there._

_Because they just wanted to be free._

_-_

_The days turned into weeks, and then months, and then years. And Shizuo had made a friend. It was exciting. He had Tom and Vorona of course, as well as Kasuka._

_But Izaya was different from all of them._

_He laughed loud and bright, like a hyena, despite coming from a place that looked so bleak. He'd called the sun a "fuzzy ball in the sky" and he too was always covered with bruises and dust, scars that served as proof of all his adventures. At first, he'd started out a little cold and aloof, and that was to be expected. They were two strangers after all. But, he'd started smiling a lot more often, and annoying Shizuo a lot more, even going as far as to call him "Shizu-chan."_

_Their relationship was simple and pure. They beamed at the sight of the other, and waited patiently till their counterpart showed up. Whoever was late would apologise, and complain about how they really tried their best to not be tardy. Izaya irritated and teased him while Shizuo got pissed off, but he was getting used to it, and it was a little endearing anyway, so it wasn't much of a big deal. They would talk about everything and nothing, knowing each other better than anyone else did while not knowing each other at all._

_Shizuo didn't know who Izaya's parents were, or the names of his friends. He didn't know where he lived and all the wrongs that he'd done so far throughout his life. But he could tell a real smile from a fake one, and he could mention his latest interests and dreams from the top of his head._

_And every day, whether it be cloudy or sunny, Shizuo who wasn't the most observant would notice the small things; The way he puffed out his chest whenever he was telling a story that he thought to be cool; The way that a smile was constantly playing around his lips, and how he fumbled around with his fingers in the rare moments that he got a little flustered._

_S_ _omewhere along the way, he'd started to associate Izaya with the sun itself. And it was in those little moments, those between the big ones, that Shizuo fell in love with the sun a little bit more, every time._

_-_

_He wasn't aware that he loved Izaya at the time. All he did know, was that it way easy for him to love things. That didn't mean that he loved everyone that walked into his life; but he could love the sound of their voice, or how they stood so tall._

_Being young and too busy playing and sharing naps with Izaya, he didn't realise that he loved everything about the boy; From how genuinely infuriating he was, to the way his name rolled off of his tongue._

_He was simply too busy loving Izaya to acknowledge it._

_-_

_All too quickly, Shizuo found himself stumbling back into the forest. He was ten years old, and he'd just seen his best friend for the last time. Well. It wasn't technically the last time. He knew that he would get Izaya off the Isle one day. He didn't know how he was going to do it, and he didn't mind that it was an impossible task, because he was going to succeed anyway._

_-_

_As he grew up, Shizuo found himself standing on a completely different side from everyone else. The way he thought things through had developed; Instead of 'I want to get Izaya off The Isle' he was thinking, 'I want to get the youth off of The Isle.'_

_So he decided to make a list. Start with something small. He went through every name, in the middle of the night, with the soft lamp light lulling him to sleep. These were all names of people he didn't even know. There was only one name that he partially recognised, but he'd thought about how that boy that he'd met under the sun was long dead. Izaya must have had to change over the years. He must have become a person that Shizuo couldn't recognise anymore. But as he sat there, all he could think of was how he'd spent so many days thinking 'I want to help him.'_

_With a sigh, he circled the name 'Orihara Izaya'._

_-_

_Shizuo did his very best to not show any bias towards Izaya. Which wasn't that difficult, because the guy was an asshole anyway. They fought, and argued. Izaya slashed at his abdomen with a knife. He was fucking bleeding, and pissed._

_But then, after their first chase, Izaya stumbled to the trashcan to puke out his lunch._

_Ever since he'd arrived on Avalon, Izaya acted like this higher power; teasing and mocking him, carrying around sharp blades, and having this unfamiliar presence to him that suffocated the air until Shizuo could hardly breathe. He had a point to be pissed of course, even made Shizuo question if bringing the children of The Isle to Avalon was such a good idea in the first place._

_But, as he saw him hurling into that bin, he'd caught a glimpse of the more human part that Izaya didn't manage to hide away; And it was then that Shizuo realised, that that big heart of his still had a soft spot for him._

_-_

_One day, Izaya came limping to him in the courtyard because of P.E., and Shizuo was so relieved, because he was terrified that he had accidentally injured Izaya._

_It was terrifying because Izaya was his equal. Despite everything, he wasn't an enemy, more of a rival. Because an enemy would've said 'You don't deserve that crown.' And while Izaya did utter those very words, he twisted them from a fact to an opinion when he saw the hurt flashing in Shizuo's eyes. He was giving him a chance to prove himself. It was a challenge._

_So his worries were put to bed, and a little later, Izaya dozed off while resting his head on Shizuo's shoulder. And although Shizuo had already told himself to move on from the past relationship they had, he still raised Izaya's wrist, and touched his palm against his own, curious to see if any of it still felt familiar._

_It didn't, but that wasn't very fair to say because back then, their hands brushed very lightly while the barrier was jammed in between them. It didn't matter though, because he quickly realised that he didn't care if it was familiar or not, because it was Izaya, and he'd been wanting to hold his hand since he was seven. A few years passing hadn't changed that._

_So he closed his eyes and let his skin soak up the sun._

_-_

_When Shizuo's arranged marriage with Vorona was announced, he ended up stumbling into Izaya in the corridor late at night. They talked while staring at the starry sky, and Izaya'd told him that back at The Isle, he was kind of a prince of himself._

_Shizuo can't say that at those words he turned to face Izaya so that he could really look at him for the first time. Because Shizuo had been looking at him since they were seven. And he was seeing something that he'd seen a million times before. He looked exactly the same as that night when he had tried to explain the concept of constellations to him; Shaggy black hair going every which way, blood red eyes staring at the stars with wonder (even if he couldn't see them at the time and Shizuo just loved him more for it). And that wayward smile._

_It was that night, a little before Izaya pointed out the constellation of the Big Dipper that a small part of Shizuo understood that he loved Izaya. He only accepted it weeks later, when he was cured of the spell thanks to the antidote, the taste of Izaya's lips still tinging his tongue._

_It didn't feel like having a great epiphany dawning on him. He'd been loving the boy all his life; now he just had a name to give the never ending bouts of affection and annoyance that he held towards Izaya._

-

A week had passed since Izaya pulled off his little stunt. And he managed to become the most wanted person in all of Avalon; whether it be dead or alive. 

It was messy. Not because anyone was left dead, or because of any casualties, but there was fear in the air. The people felt like they had allowed these kids into their home, and that they were wronged by such actions. Shizuo, meanwhile, thought that both sides had major faults, even if he couldn't go around saying such a blunt opinion. Because of the recent events he wasn't exactly someone the people wanted to see or listen to. It had been his call to bring them over. 

The council of representatives of Avalon wanted to keep everything quiet so as to not panic the people, but that was impossible because the coronation was being filmed live. So from the comfort of their homes, people saw the kids from The Isle rebel, Izaya in particular taking centre stage. And they were twisting everything. Word was going around that both soldiers and the audience were gravely beaten up, and that the King and Queen as long as their precious Fairy Godmother was assaulted.

They thought that the crown blowing up in flames was Izaya's way of mocking Shizuo, telling him he'd never be King, while Shizuo thought it to be a bit of a kinder act. It was clear that Izaya didn't have the intention to turn it to ashes, but for so long Shizuo looked at the crown and it felt so heavy on his head. And then, he saw the great golden crown, that symbolised his father's legacy, a legacy he himself didn't know if he wanted to carry; The crown that held the weight of the world burst in a flurry of ashes before his very eyes. He sort of wanted to laugh when it happened.

It had only been a day since the coronation, and he was already sick and tired of being locked in the school _(under a protocol for safety reasons while the guards searched through Avalon to make sure Izaya and his friends weren't hiding somewhere)_ and watching his fellow students, his friends, walking around as if they had just witnessed the death of a friend. Everyone that Izaya had touched, everyone he had talked to and charmed, thought that the person they knew was dead. Or maybe it was all an act from the start. 

Shizuo too, once thought, that the Izaya he had known was dead. And he'd been miserable, because it was like losing the sun. 

So he called for an announcement. With the help of Tom, Kasuka, and Vorona (who didn't know _what_ he was doing and were as equally shaken from the events as everyone else), he gathered everyone in the school in the courtyard. All the professors, every last student, even his parents were there. It was packed with people, the half of them with casual attire and sleep wear, as well as red puffy eyes or seemingly permanent scowls. And they were all sitting down on the ground, or peeking from the balconies above, and when they realised that Shizuo was going to make a speech, they took out their phones to record. share what he had to say with the world. 

He looked around him, to see perhaps, not the biggest audience he'd ever seen, but the most important one. 

He felt oddly large as everyone stared helplessly at him, even if he was only standing on his own two feet. So he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. And then, he told them a story. A story about a seven year old Shizuo that disappeared for hours on end to play beyond the forest. A story about meeting this lost looking boy from The Isle, and how they complained and bickered, but kept going back to each other every day. He told them about how they said goodbye at age ten, and how when he saw Izaya again at the beginning of the year, he was so sure that the boy he had known was dead. 

He continued to explain how Izaya made a potion, with every intention to use Shizuo. And the people in front of him, the people he'd known all his life gasped, and teared up and looked angry; Vorona was giving him this incredulous, helpless look, as if the thought of Izaya doing anything to harm a hair on Shizuo's head was something she could never fathom. But despite all that, he continued anyway, telling them how Izaya had made a plan that would have resulted in war and blood shed. The same Izaya that decided to humour the gaggle of young kids whenever he passed by Shizuo and Vorona's story time session, just because he didn't have the heart to turn his back on the annoying brats. 

He explained how slowly, Izaya changed his mind, about his regrets, and reached the point of pulling off such a stunt just to push Shizuo into the Enchanted Lake.

So now, they all knew the tale of Izaya, the boy from The Isle, the son of Maleficent, who went to extreme lengths, and burned everything down, all to make sure for once and for all, that Shizuo was free from the spell he had put on him in the first place.

There was a mix of reactions; anger, frustration, bemusement. But Shizuo thought that, for a moment there, everyone seemed to have this unsatisfied grimace; this look of regret that things had to go so far. 

Videos of his speech were uploaded under his request, and the message spread. People started to hear the truth. They would surely twist it, interpret it in any way they wanted to, but there was only so much he could do when the only action that people around him wanted to take was one that would lead to Izaya's death or eternal imprisonment in somewhere that was worse than The Isle. 

A week later, when Shizuo was in a live conference with the council, as well as his parents. Normally in such major events, his word wouldn't matter, the King and Queen would take over and everything would be kept behind closed doors. But Shizuo was too stubborn to not take responsibility for what happened, and keeping things like this away from the people only made everyone more antsy. 

"With all do respect Shizuo, your history with Izaya makes you biased," Riku, a nobleman from one of the neighbouring kingdoms was saying, "This is someone who meticulously planned on taking the wand for himself, _intoxicated_ you, the _Prince of Avalon_ with a _spell,_ and then proceeded to take the wand while leaving hundreds of _innocent_ people, including the _King and Queen_ unconscious. But what, since he's your childhood friend you want him off the hook?" 

Shizuo grit his teeth while shooting him a glare, because the guy always had been a slimy fuck that treated him like a kid. 

"I'm not saying him to let him off the hook, but you shouldn't go off to kill him either!" 

He took in a deep breath and looked Riku in the eye, because he could take him on easily. He couldn't bare to see the expression on his parent's face though. 

"Izaya grew up on The Isle. A place which _we_ _abandoned_ and left to become a hell. He had to live in the hell we crafted for him, even if he was born innocent. He grew up selfish, without anyone to teach him anything about morals, and loyalty and kindness. So he made a plan for payback. He wanted to use me, I'm assuming to take the wand for himself, make us regret our mistake for abandoning so many people. He had the chance to give us a taste of our own medicine. And this is the fun part," And he laughed a little, sound so bitter that it made him feel sick, "When push came to shove, _he didn't do it._ He looked us straight in the eye, the people that left him to rot along with everyone he'd ever cared for, and showed us mercy." 

Everyone on the table that had stern or snide expressions before were now just speechless, staring at Shizuo helplessly as if he'd just slapped them all in the face. 

"Honestly, he put us all to shame."

Shizuo wasn't trying to paint Izaya out as some hero. He just stated how things were; he'd done a lot of bad, but he sure as hell did a lot of good too. And no one seemed to want to acknowledge the potential that he had. And to make it all worse, this was their fault in the first place. The Isle, the barrier, _all of it._ The kids of The Isle were all born into a system which was destined to fail them. 

"And you want to kill him for it." 

They cut off the live broadcast after that, and everyone left the bulky wooden table to try to collect their thoughts. Shizuo himself was walking through the corridors of his home, before he caught sight of Riku in the study, staring at a piece of paper with furrowed eyebrows and a small frown. He walked up to the older man to check if he needed something, before getting a closer look at the paper. He felt himself go pale.

"To be honest, I thought these conferences were a waste of time," Riku started, "I already made a draft for a wanted poster for Izaya. Dead or alive. Preferably dead. I thought we could send them to The Isle, so then the people would just bring him to us," He explained, and Shizuo felt sick. He only kept himself up because of the burning desire to punch him in the face. But then, without warning, he ripped the paper in two, and crumpled it up, before throwing it in a nearby bin. 

"A kid from The Isle acted like the bigger person, and we're here arguing like children," He said, laughing hollowly while scratching at his neatly trimmed beard. And then, "I need a smoke," and he was turning, and out of the room before Shizuo could say another word. 

Staring at the crumpled paper, Shizuo felt grateful for not punching him and giving the guy two black eyes. 

-

Izaya swore lightly under his breath when he saw the scumbag he was chasing after disappear around the corner. He had already been chasing after him for a good five minutes, but the adrenaline in his veins and a guarantee of good payment were enough to keep him on his feet in a steady sprint. He started slowing down though, and pressed his body against the wall to look past the sharp turn of yet another alleyway. The last thing he needed was the guy waiting for him with a metal bat in hand. 

It happened once. To be clear it _was not_ pretty. 

But, the only thing he saw was a dead end, and the man looking around anxiously for an exit, so he quickly side-stepped, two switchblades in hand, aiming for the sleeves. At the sound of a panicked whimper and metal sinking into the rubble wall, he flashed his victim a grin. 

"Weren't you on Avalon?!" He was sputtering helplessly, and Izaya cringed slightly for him. He was gone for just a few months and the underground just wouldn't show him some more of the fun cases they had even if he'd retunred an entire week ago. Really, Izaya was like a cop. Not much of a conventional or innocent one. But still, he could dream. Maybe asking Shiki personally for something more fun would help, but he hadn't bothered to contact the man yet because he really wasn't sure how to appropriately initiate his reunion with his boss that he rarely ever obeyed. 

"I came back buddy," He said as he sauntered over to him, an easy smile tugging at his lips, "I made quite the entrance. It's a shame you missed it." 

He remembered crashing at the docks, and Shinra using him to block his blow because Celty lost control of Shooter, which resulting in their crash landing in the first place. She panicked, worried about breaking her precious motorcycle, so she turned it back into its bike form and made sure to land it safely, grabbing Erika in the process so that the girl wouldn't break her face and lose a tooth. 

Izaya meanwhile, _did_ dislocate his elbow during the landing. Then the four of them walked home, ignoring the weird looks people were giving them, and the running children that came up to greet them. Half an hour later they were back in his house, with Maleficent giving him a helpless smile, his sisters tearing up while scolding him, and Erika holding his hand for support while Shinra popped it back into place. 

They weren't exactly planning on making a discrete entrance, so it wasn't much of a big deal anyway. Besides that, they decided to let everyone find out of their return naturally. 

That is, until Kadota and the other leaders of the subdivisions of The Dollars kidnapped him to celebrate his return, and got him as well as themselves drunk with alcohol that tasted absolutely atrocious. That ended with Izaya standing on the table of the main market, kicking at items ready for trade while announcing, very triumphantly, _"I'm back~"_ while another four drunk teenagers whistled before passing out on the floor. 

On that night Erika and Celty lugged him, as well as the other four idiots back to his house. Kadota claimed that Izaya pouted when the people at the market didn't clap for him. Erika insisted that he owed her for life. Celty was pretending that she didn't know him. Izaya was denying that it ever happened. 

Grimacing at the memory, he put his left hand on the man's shoulder to give him a reassuring pat, before pressing under the bone, and after a few seconds, the man fell unconscious and finally stopped his sputtering.

As he plucked his switchblade out of the man's disgusting jacket, and heard the distant but familiar rumbling of Shooter's engine, Izaya thought how The Isle was a dump, but it was a dump he grew up in, and in a way, it was home. 

It was home because he knew the place like the back of his own hand. It was home because he had a job as an informant, and he had The Dollars, and his friends that fell right back in sync as if nothing had ever happened, as if they never left The Isle in the first place. 

But the thing is, he thought stubbornly as he helped Celty put the man on the motorcycle, that they _did_ leave The Isle, and he could smile and laugh all he want, but he'd just be lying to himself if he pretended that something wasn't missing. Because if The Isle was everything he'd ever known, and the place where he made a name for himself, then Avalon was getting to know people that he never thought he'd have the chance of meeting, it was the shining sun and it was Shizuo. 

He'd missed The Isle. 

But, he realised as he smiled at Celty and saw nothing but his own reflection glaring back at him from her helmet, he was missing Avalon too. 

-

_On the first day back on The Isle, Izaya made some observations about the collapsing island. To put it simply, it was no longer collapsing. It was clear to see that some buildings were looking a little better; a little more sturdy. Others were in the middle of renovation, along with more apartments being built up so that everyone could have a roof over the head. Needless to say, it must have all been Shizuo's doing. From what his mother said, construction workers and police had been littered out through the island, going through their day while doing their job. The police had been attempting to make The Isle safer._

_There were flaws to that of course. A few guards leaving the docks and finally walking a little bit into The Isle wasn't going to topple the underground, which was most definitely illegal by Avalon's standards, nor would it make the dark alleyways any less dangerous. But, for the first time in decades, they were trying._

_The Isle wasn't quite as abandoned anymore._

_Upon his return though, they all disappeared. Izaya imagined that it was an order from Shizuo. Something along the lines of, 'Whatever you do, don't engage with Izaya and his friends even if they committed a few dozen felonies in the past hour.'_

_But although all projects had been paused, the improvement was noticeable. And, there was one change which was quite the remarkable feat; The Internet._

_It had an absolutely pitiable connection, resulting in being infuriatingly slow and buffering ever two seconds. But, when Izaya sat on the floor and turned on their television for the first time; the one that he and his friends had found in a garbage heap which wasn't completely decimated; the one they used for the sake of taking up space so that the house wouldn't feel so lonely, it still worked decently enough. The only thing that they had was the news, playing some footage of an impromptu speech that Shizuo had given inside the school just hours ago._

_So as he sat there with his leg cramping underneath him, Izaya stared at Shizuo; the boy he loved; the boy that he pushed into an enchanted lake; the boy that was by now completely healed from the spell. He watched Shizuo, who had every right to be angry with him defend him instead. The bleary camera caught every smile that tugged at Shizuo's lips whenever he said Izaya's name, and Izaya noticed all of them. He stared at the screen, a little winded, at the unwavering loyalty that he was showing, as well as the helpless affection in his tone as he listed all of his flaws._

_Shizuo had his back, because despite what everybody else thought, Izaya had his too. It was why he gave up everything, why he pushed his own feelings aside to heal Shizuo. And why he ultimately didn't take the wand. Because Izaya always had cared about people- about some of them at least, and in his own way if nothing else. But Shizuo helped him to realise that those people, and all the warm fuzzy feelings they made him feel somewhat outweighed his pride, to an extent._

_As he watched Shizuo, falling in love with him a little more, he thought about the naps they'd shared when they were seven, the awkward touch of clammy hands on each other's heart when they were ten, and everything else that happened in between. He thought about Shizuo smiling at him from across the room when he wasn't looking, and all the games they'd played as if they were still kids, and the few mornings were they woke up to each other's stinky morning breaths and horrible bedhead._

_'I really do like you, Izaya.'_

_And suddenly, it clicked._

_-_

As Izaya made his way to the ever so familiar building, just to enter Shiki's office, he felt uneasy, an emotion he really wasn't used to dealing with. It shouldn't have been much of a big deal, because he'd done this a million times before, even visited the man a final time before his departure to Avalon. Granted, at the time, he had entered the office with the intention to take the two cool looking switchblades that Shiki used to decorate the room, even if he had been trying to steal them for years and never succeeded to do so. He remembered it as if it were yesterday.

_"Izaya," Shiki had warned, and the raven his rolled his eyes and turned to look at the man with a smile._

_"I'm leaving for forever and you still won't let me take them!" He complained, voice sounding like a taunt because he'd never let himself slip up and show actual vulnerability to his boss of all people._

_Shiki was his boss. Izaya was an employee. Probably his favourite one, because he was a charmer, and the best informant on The Isle, but still. There was a line somewhere there, even if he'd probably stepped over it a million times before._

_Then, Izaya watched Shiki, his boss, sigh, and get up from his chair to walk over to the switchblades. He took them in his hands, before walking over to Izaya and stretching his arm out. At the time, Izaya gave him a confused look, but Shiki just motioned for him to take them._

_Very tentatively, reached out, hands wrapping around the handles before examining them from up close. "Why are you giving them to me now?" He'd asked, with a bemused smile at his lips. The man just shrugged._

_"I don't like people taking my things. All you had to do was ask."_

_Izaya just stared at him as he made his way back into his seat, before turning around, mumbling a quick "Thanks," on his way out._

_They were the only two blades that he'd never used._

Before he knew it, he was in front of the intimidating metallic door, and he felt thirteen years old again, wondering if what lied beyond could fill up his days, so that he'd have less time to think about the friend he'd lost just because he lived beyond the barrier. And now, all these years later, he felt as if history was just repeating itself. But opening the door now, to see the familiar office, just a little less run down than last time, with the leader of the underground rummaging through files and papers made him feel a little less lost. 

Shiki turned his head and lightly acknowledged his presence, and went back through his mundane tasks. "I thought it was you. You're the only one that doesn't knock." 

Izaya smiled loftily at that, even if he wasn't facing him to see it, "Never have, never will sir. So, let's cut down to the chase. Have you missed your favourite informant?"

And then, Shiki was chuckling, amused at his unabashed behaviour. "I feel like _I_ should be the one asking the questions. I saw the Prince's leaked speech you know. Seems like you had quite the adventure on Avalon. Made a few schemes, spelled the prince," He stopped to hum as he grabbed a particularly fat looking document, and Izaya's plastered smile went tight, "Pushed said prince into a lake."

Izaya knew Shiki was just joking lightly, messing with him to try to get him riled up. But, remembering everything that had happened, and the uselessness of it all, he couldn't bring himself to force out a laugh. So when his boss turned his head to look back at him, he was greeted with furrowed brows and Izaya's lips in a thin line, because despite his flawless bravado, his sauntering around as if he had never been freer, and his carefree attitude, he was still upset over the fact that _everything_ he'd done had been for nothing. Spelling Shizuo just to sit in the front row was just a waste of time. Pushing him into the lake was just another mistake. 

He made the decision to take a risk. He always knew that there were going to be alarming consequences for the actions he'd taken. But he miscalculated, and now, all those risks were all for nothing because Shizuo really had liked him back.

"I hit a nerve there, didn't I?" Shiki asked with a slight smile. 

"I've been meaning to ask you," He said, ignoring the current matter at hand because it was so much easier to not talk about it instead of facing it head on, "When I started out in this field you told me I could do whatever I want as long as I stayed quiet."

Shiki put the document back in its place, and rested his back against the cupboard. "I recall," He interjected helpfully. 

"But you said it would be difficult for me to do so. Why?" 

Izaya didn't think the question to be any bit amusing, but Shiki snorted out a laugh and shook his head, as if the answer was obvious.

"It's just that," He started, pausing momentarily as if trying to find the right words, "You're very loud... your presence I mean. Everyone else here on The Isle, they're quiet like shadows lurking in the dark, you know? But you were... brighter I suppose."

Izaya rose a brow at the reply, never having thought to associate himself with the word _'bright'_ before. 

"Honestly it was one of the reasons I took you in, let you stick around here. I thought you'd get yourself killed. Turns out, you were the kind of guy that used that sort of charisma to your advantage," As if in queue, Izaya's lips split into a smug grin, "And you're the exact same kind of guy that would spell the Prince just to use him for personal gain if they ever infiltrated Avalon. What you're not is the kind of person to change your mind." 

And Izaya would have loved to say something back, a witty jab or some clever remark, but he couldn't because ignoring such a blatantly honest statement was something even he couldn't do.

"You've got an awful lot of ego to make a choice like that." 

Izaya thought that to be true as well. It's not like he went around holding his head high in a literal sense, but he did it in his own way. From making a name for himself in The Isle, and maintaining his reputation. Backtracking on a plan that would have resulted into the most ultimate 'fuck you' to their captors didn't sound like him at all. But that plan involved putting a lot of the people he knew in danger. He still thought he could do it because he always was one to look at the bigger picture. But somewhere along the way, he got attached, because he wasn't careful enough, so like everyone else he had to carry the weight of a human heart. A weight which he really, really wasn't sure that he could hold up. 

But he did hold it, carried all that weight when he let Shizuo go for good. And he'd carry it again a million times if it meant ensuring his safety, even if he had been a coward all his life. 

"I guess you've finally found something that you value more than your own pride." 

Looking up at Shiki with a blank look, Izaya thought about all the times he'd misbehaved and caused a ruckus just to get Shiki's attention, just because he could never get it from his own father because he was never around anyway. But hearing Shiki figure him out so easily made him think that the man always had been paying attention to him. 

Izaya would never admit it, but he always had wished that his father could have stuck around, underneath the thick and heavy layers of insulting indifference and disdain that he held for the man. And at that moment, remembering all his interactions with one of the most feared men on The Isle, he thought that his real dad always had been by his side without him ever realising it. 

-

On his way out of the building, which was probably the most steady structure one could find on the entire island, Izaya spotted the secretary behind the desk; the desk that had been empty when he walked in. A smug grin pulled at his lips as their eyes locked, and it only grew wider as he saw her face go through the five stages of grief in about five seconds. 

"Izaya," She greeted, almost accusingly, folding her arms and furrowing her brows slightly. "The one and only," He responded, stretching his arms wide so that she could inspect that he was very much there and present, "It's been a while, Namie-san." 

Namie was possibly one of The Isle's greatest attractions. She was cynical, almost always pissed about something, and he shared some of his finest banter with her. One wouldn't think that the mafia on a shabby island would have something like a secretary, but she was there when Izaya had walked into the building for the first time, sitting on her chair and glaring at every person that passed by. Needless to say, Izaya made it his mission to become the bane of her existence. 

She wasn't even the daughter of any significant villain, but her personality was more than enough to make her a walking attraction. He himself would pay money just to watch her offend people. She was just so _colourful_ with her insults.

"Just when I thought that I'd finally gotten rid of you," She confessed petulantly, while he walked over to her desk, just to start flipping through the files and documents that littered it, "Boring," He muttered as he saw the mundane paperwork, "Stupid- Huh? A list of potential informants? Ridiculous," He clicked his tongue before crumpling the list and throwing it away. 

"Hey- Izaya that took me forever to compile!" 

"Don't kid yourself Namie," He chided as he pushed the files aside, mushing everything together so that he could half-sit on her desk, "As if anyone could replace me as an informant." 

"You think I don't know that, idiot? I tried to tell them that no informant was going to be at your caliber, but they insisted that they wanted someone to fill in for your absence. And it's not like any of our people here meet the requirements for the job either.

"And do not get me _started_ on the idiots that have already tried to replace you- Their brains are the size of a _maggot-_ They were so useless that they were the existential equivalence of pink eye. And who had to deal with them? That's right! _Me._ " She paused from her rant momentarily to narrow her eyes and glower at Izaya even harder, "And now you just _crumpled my list."_

He was almost moved to tears. "Namie-san. You just called me the best informant ever," He cooed. He'd known it of course. Still, having someone else admit it, someone like the constantly pissed off _Namie_ to say so, was something that he would never let her forget. 

"Yeah," She agreed while stabbing him at the hip with a pencil so that he'd get off the desk, "Because you're an obsessive _lunatic."_

He pouted. 

"Honestly, it's concerning with how good you are at stalking people." 

_"Stalking?_ Being an informant is an _art form,"_ He defended, while begrudgingly getting off the desk because he was pretty sure that she would sooner or later break his hip bone. Seeing that she was close to fuming, he thought that he had had his fun with her, and that he could finally let her get some peace. But as he was turning to leave, 

"I saw the Prince's speech." 

As if his feet were bolted into the ground, he stopped, and slowly turned his head. A lot of people on The Isle were still clueless about the events that had happened. Very few people had anything they could watch the news from, after all. In fact, there were still a lot of people that didn't even know of his return, which certainly made some interactions to be interesting. So knowing that Namie saw the speech, made him want to wince. It was a tender topic for him, and he and Namie were anything but personal. 

"I see," He said to fill in the gaps of silence. He didn't know what her thoughts were, or cared much for them anyway. She grew up on The Isle like him, so she thought that the people of Avalon were all snobby bastards that had left them to die _(which wasn't necessarily an incorrect opinion)._ But, seeing as he had clearly protected said snobby bastards along with the prince when he could have given them hell, he was sure that she had a piece of her mind to share with him. 

Yet, it didn't seem like she was planning on arguing with him and calling him a moron for his actions. It was like she was trying to see beyond the surface, and the meaning behind his actions, which he really didn't appreciate because he barely understood them himself. After careful consideration, she spoke up again. 

"You pushed that Shizuo guy into a lake." 

He blinked. "I did," he admitted. 

Izaya never thought that he'd ever see Namie smile. But at that moment, he thought that she was smiling, or trying to smile if nothing else. He always thought that it would look like a grimace. Instead, it was small, just a slight pull of the lips, but an unmistakable smile nonetheless. 

"Good job," She said, just like she always did whenever he was leaving the office after having brought in some miserable soul that Shiki had asked him to track down. 

After a few moments of not knowing how to respond, he offered her a little smile of his own. As he exited the daunting building to hear the familiar screeching of crows, he thought about how Namie was acting like a friend in that moment, before laughing in amusement at the sheer absurdity it. 

-

On one afternoon, that was littered among the days of pretending that everything was normal, and that nothing had changed, and that he'd never left, Izaya walked in on the twins napping on the couch. Their faces were mushed together, and Mairu's pigtails as well as Kururi's lose hair was splayed on their faces, with long brunette strands threatening to touch their lips and tickle their noses. A blanket was thrown haphazardly over them, and he had every intention to arrange it, but instead, he stayed stuck in place, across the room, staring at the window behind the couch. 

Closing his eyes, he imagined sunlight filtering persistently through the curtain; caressing their cheeks in yellow and gold, making them scrunch their eyes in annoyance for its brightness. Opening them again and heaving a small sigh, he walked over to arrange their blanket, and to gently brush away their unruly hair from their faces. The colours around him looked so bleak, but his sisters had never seen the brightness of the sun, so they were released from the burden of missing it. But for Izaya it was different. He knew what the sunlight could be. 

"Iza-nii," Kururi mumbled drowsily, and he tickled her chin while Mairu cracked open a tired eye. She yawned shamelessly into Kururi's face, and as her sister scrunched her nose, Mairu had the idea of Izaya telling them a story. 

"A story, huh? Like the ones starting with _'Once upon a time'_ and ending with _'And they lived happily ever after'_?" He asked, feeling amused. It had been easy to fall back in sync with his sisters. Out of the three of them no one bothered with saying _'I missed you'_ because they all knew it to be true. They grew up with him, and Izaya started growing up with them too, because they were the first people besides his friends that he ever wanted to protect. 

Mairu just stuck out her tongue in disgust. Meanwhile, Kururi, who seemed quite intent on returning to her nap just moments ago spoke up. "What does _'happily ever after'_ mean anyway? It sounds stupid." 

Izaya just rolled his eyes. "It's a fancy way of saying _'forever'_. No need to get so grumpy about it." 

Returning his gaze back to the curtains, he wondered if Shizuo was finding his happily ever after without Izaya. And then he was torn between grimacing and laughing at the thought that he must've been busy trying to keep Izaya safe. He hadn't heard anything as The Isle had never been more distant to Avalon before, but he was pretty sure that no one was pleased with the idea of him sauntering through The Isle, even if that was a prison within of itself. They probably wanted to throw him in a jail cell. 

Maybe, they wanted him dead. Not something that he wasn't particularly prepared for. At this point he was just counting down the days till they decided to strike. 

He'd made his choice. Now all he had to do was live up to it- which he technically wasn't _great_ at, but he convinced himself that he'd figure it out. 

"Izaya?" Mairu was mumbling again. He looked away from the curtains, feeling a little startled at being pulled out of his stupor. He was sure that they'd fallen asleep again, "Have you ever been through forever?" 

Izaya blinked at the question. They always did ask the weirdest things, and today's query was certainly not the exception. Deciding to humour her, he tried to form a response. Something that started with 'No', and ended with calling her stupid. But as he opened his mouth, he remembered sunlight and loud cicadas; he remembered being seven and wondering if Shizuo was a friend he could keep; he remembered asking _'Do you think we'll always be friends?'_ and Shizuo answering with the affirmative.More or less at least. 

"Yeah." 

Kururi was forcing her eyes to stay open so that she wouldn't fall asleep while her big brother was talking, and Mairu decided to go for another question that was accompanied by a stifled yawn. 

"And what did it feel like?" 

Looking back, all he could remember was smiling, and the days seeming nothing short of endless to his younger self. 

There was a pull at his lips, and as he ruffled their hair, coaxing them to fall asleep, he thought that it felt bittersweet. 

_"Like it's a little too short."_

-

Izaya was growing restless. A few more days had passed, and in those days he tried to see the news channel, just to try to understand the ongoing debates about the ever encompassing question; What was their punishment? 

If Shizuo had participated in a discussion, then Izaya had missed it, and he clearly wasn't taking part in them anymore. What they were showing on television didn't seem to be quite serious anyway, because to Izaya it looked like some common politicians discussing the morals of the situation, while he just wanted to know what they were planning. He always hated not knowing. 

Thinking about it, he mulled over the fact that probably, the ones that had any power to inflict actual punishment on him weren't only going to give him a sentence, but one to his friends too. And, why wouldn't they? Celty, Shinra and Erika all helped out; they'd be thrown in a cell to rot just like him. And his friends were too smart to think that nothing was coming for them, but they didn't seem to be on edge because just like him, they'd made their choice. 

But frankly, as curel as it sounded, Izaya didn't care for their loyalty toward him or for their friendship. Needless to say, he appreciated it. But his choice didn't include screwing his friends over as well. So, perhaps a little selfishly, he went to the docks one day; the only place on The Isle that still had guards. There were only two, and judging from their posture and the quality of their armour they were of the royal guard. 

It was still early morning. He could count the entire four people that were around, and they barely payed him any mind as he walked over to them. They looked intimidating and emotionless, but Izaya shot them a smile anyway, because he had to keep what he had.

"I have a message for you to deliver," He announced with a wayward smile. 

-

Izaya spent the 28th of January like he spent any other day. He dealt with his annoying family, and met up at The Dollars hangout which was located in a top secret hideout (which was just a fancy way to say it was in one of the more abandoned and run down parts of The Isle), and nagged at Celty to give him a ride on her motorcycle because he didn't want to drag his unconscious victim all the distance to a personal client. He went to the markets with Erika and Shinra; the former who wasn't as lively and bubbly as she used to be just weeks ago and the latter who was still smiling placidly at everything making him almost feel unnerved, so nothing was new with him. 

But although he tried to ignore the date, treating that bleak Tuesday just like any other mundane day, he couldn't. So in the evening, when the sun was making its decent, colouring the sky beyond the barrier in gold, he wandered to the edge, where they used to meet years ago. On their birthdays, Izaya made a very peculiar tradition; the birthday boy had to let the other touch their heart. It was an idea that was born in a single moment; A moment of a young Izaya staring at Shizuo, who had sprinted to the forest to greet him on the special day. But while it was a spur of a moment decision, the yearning to touch Shizuo's skin had always been there; to feel the softness of his hair, to trail maps over his chest with his fingertips; Izaya always had wanted what he couldn't have. 

He hadn't been to the barrier for years. Because while Shizuo was like a forbidden memory, locked in his brain for all those years, Izaya never forgot the boy that resembled sunshine, who shared naps with him and played by the barrier. And once he made the connection that the current, gruff looking Shizuo was the same boy from those sunlit days, all the memories became clearer, like stories unfolding before his very eyes whenever he tried to sleep. 

As he passed by a familiar tree house, which was miserable and rotting, he knew he was getting close, and when he stepped on ground covered by grass, instead of dust and broken concrete, he couldn't help the giddy smile that pulled at his lips. The clearing hadn't been thwarted by the depressive setting of The Isle; it was as if no time had passed at all. Looking up after admiring the blades of grass, he shifted his gaze to the barrier. Despite the distance between him and that damned wall and it's bleariness, he could make out a standing figure; resting his left shoulder and pressing his head against the barrier, with most probably closed eyes. 

Maybe the surprised gasp that left his lips travelled with the wind that whisked past his ears, because that boy that was so unmistakably Shizuo opened his eyes, which he knew to be warm and hazel even if he couldn't see it, and then he was shooting him a smile, despite that their last encounter ended with Izaya pushing him into a lake. Izaya wanted to run away, or to saunter ever so confidently to the Prince of Avalon, that would have been king by now if it weren't for him disrupting the coronation. 

But this was Shizu-chan, the boy he was in love with, the boy he must've fallen for when he was eight, or nine or maybe ten, but he couldn't pinpoint it because all he could ever remember was loving him.

And then he was seven years old again, running to the barrier while making his own wind, a sound bubbling up through his throat and out of his lips that sounded somewhere between a sob and a laugh. 

He almost smashed his head against the barrier, and his cheeks and ears were painted in an unflattering red.

"Hi," He breathed, pressing his forehead against the wall, unable to contain the sheer happiness he felt at seeing Shizuo again. He hadn't realised just how much he missed him in the past few weeks. A part of him thought that he'd never see him again. 

"I knew you'd be here," Shizuo said, sounding amused, "You're such a _sap,"_ he added while resting his own head against the barrier. Izaya wrinkled his nose, a petulant, _'Am not'_ escaping his lips. 

Izaya thought that maybe he could hear birds from the other side, and if he looked real hard he could see the tippy-tops of castles reaching the highest heights, but he was much too glad to examine Shizuo's face to find comfort in the fact that nothing had changed. His skin would have been a clear canvass, lacking freckles, but it was full of proof of Shizuo's clumsiness. It was littered with tiny faint scars, like the one above his right eyebrow and the one at the edge of his lip that he wanted to kiss better when he was innocent and nine years old. He still remembered witnessing the incident of Shizuo tripping and falling on his face, just to get up seconds later with blood in his mouth and tears in his eyes. On that day Izaya tried to distract him by showing him rocks and blades of grass, while secretly panicking that the boy was going to bleed to death.

"I hope you know I'm infuriated with you," Shizuo warned, voice softer than he probably intended it to be. Izaya hummed in response because he had every reason to be. 

"What you did was stupid, and a little horrible. And so _dramatic."_

"And selfish?" Izaya supplied around a laugh, because that's all he'd ever known, and one of the top traits one could use to describe Izaya Orihara. He was selfish when he asked Shizuo to remember what they used to be while tears escaped his eyes on a bench, and when he spelled him, and when he dragged his friends, his _family,_ into his insane plan that ruined the coronation. But Shizuo scowled at his suggestion, before softening a little, as if knowing that the comment had an underlying meaning. 

"Aw Izaya," He was saying, tone so gentle and affectionate that it made him want to cry, "It was anything but selfish." 

Closing his eyes, he let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding, along with a quiet _'Thanks'._

"The message I sent the other day... did it get delivered?" He asked a little nervous, a little hopeful, remembering the bemused looks that the guards had given him when he announced it. It was more of a request than anything else. 

"Yeah, it did. And after some deliberation the council agreed to it," Shizuo admitted, before concern took over his features, "But are you really sure that you want to take all the blame?" 

"Of course," He said without missing a beat, remembering his own words echoing in his head, _'Give me whatever sentence you'd like to. But leave my friends alone- you don't want them anyway, because I'm responsible for this entire mess. If you follow this condition, I'll cooperate. If not, I'll give you hell.'_

"They don't know about it yet, but I can't just leave them in the dark, can I?" 

"They probably don't want to leave you in the dark either though." 

Izaya grimaced at that, already imagining an infuriated Erika screaming at him for going behind their back. He'd gladly welcome that if they were left to their own accords, safe and as free as they could be on a place like The Isle.

"I can't tell you much, because I don't know the details either, but you're going to go through a trial," Shizuo told him, and Izaya perked up at that. "A trial, huh? In a fancy courtroom with a judge that has an abysmal haircut banging his hammer against the table?" 

"Something like that," Shizuo said through a laugh, with the area next to his eyes crinkling. 

And then, as if remembering what day it was, Izaya raised his hand, trailed his nails over the barrier until he found the wobbly part. He pressed his open palm against it, and Shizuo stared at him quietly. He must have forgotten about their little tradition, he thought, before Shizuo came closer, until Izaya's fingertips were pressing against his heart. "Happy Birthday Shizu-chan," He whispered enthusiastically, and Shizuo just hummed. 

"This tradition of yours is weird," He remarked, and Izaya pouted. 

"It's _sentimental!"_ He insisted, but Shizuo only snorted, making Izaya want to stick his tongue out at him. But despite his complaints, Shizuo didn't seem to have any intention of pulling back, and Izaya didn't want to pull away from the warm touch either. 

"You're weird," He said as Izaya felt the erratic thumping of his heart underneath his fingers. At that, Izaya looked him in the eye, and felt his heart grow two sizes larger. He noticed the light blush tinging Shizuo's cheeks and ears, and the content little smile that hung at his lips. He stared at Shizuo knowingly, and the blonde tilted his head in silent question. 

"But you love me anyway," He sing sang, the pull on his lips feeling both fond and smug as Shizuo's blush intensified. But there was such a heavy weight to his words, because he'd spent so long refusing to believe Shizuo's feelings were genuine. And despite his embarrassment, Shizuo must have been letting the words sink in, because his eyes went wide and bright as if he was seeing the sun rise for the first time.

-

"Stay safe during the trial, okay?" Shizuo said before Izaya turned away from the barrier, because it was getting late and he had to make sure his sisters were still alive. His mother was home, but that meant that she probably attempted to cook something, so that was all the more reason for him to go and check on them. 

He wanted to make a joke, mock Shizuo for being so concerned, and tell him that he was going to get permanent wrinkles at the age of twenty if he kept giving him such a worried look. But Shizuo looked so serious, and almost a little scared, and Izaya couldn't help but wonder what type of trial this was exactly going to be. All he knew was that it was going to happen soon, because although they were keeping the details top secret, even to the Prince, Shizuo had told him that as far as he knew, everything was prepared. So surely they wouldn't waste any more time. 

"I will," Izaya said without missing a beat, lifting his chin up a little out of pride. He'd survived The Isle for so long. He'd be damned if he didn't get out of a trial. 

"Promise?" 

"Promise," Izaya confirmed with a determined smile, as the two lightly fist bumped the barrier. 

"If you don't make it back safe and sound," He heard from behind him, "I'll kill you."

Izaya laughed, all loud and boisterous so that it would surely be heard beyond the barrier. "I look forward to that Shizu-chan." 

It was just a trial. With some lawyers and a fancy judge. How bad could it be?

-

The next day, Izaya found himself at the docks, laughing at Shinra who was trying and failing at his advances with Celty, while Erika was fussing over the two. He had Kida half asleep on his lap, because he couldn't stay awake, probably a result of having slept for only four hours the night before. He could have left him to take a nap on the floor, using a sack of potatoes as a pillow, but he simply didn't have the heart to do so. Instead he scolded him while the younger boy rested his head against Izaya's chest, and he was tapping his foot up and down, swaying Kida in turn, just to annoy him as punishment.

Then, the children running around the docks stopped, and the air seemed to still, as he saw the barrier open up in the distance; just like it did so many months ago, when it revealed a limousine and a few nervous soldiers that were ready to escort them out of their hell. But now, there was an onslaught of soldiers, the very best that the Royal Guard had to offer he was sure, in their intimidating and gleaming armour. 

They surrounded them, spears at the ready, and Izaya wondered if he was about to witness a massacre, and was already making eye contact with Celty, signalling that he could make a diversion while she took away the children on Shooter, so that they wouldn't get hurt. They were all members of The Dollars, part of the younger division that had insisted on joining, and he knew all their names and their favourite colours because they didn't want to shut up about them. 

They stared at the soldiers as if they were their executioners, with this dull look in their eye, because even if they were eight or eleven or twelve years old, they'd already seen so much, and couldn't do more than glare at their opponents and think of a way to escape. But this wasn't their fight. It wasn't Shinra's, whose smile went tight was was ready to diffuse the situation as best as he could. It wasn't Erika's who was standing in front of Kaito and Yua, two kids who had stumbled across The Dollars when they got lost in an alleyway a few years ago. It was his. This was his fight. 

Although ready to face them there and them, the soldiers stayed in place, enclosing them in a circle, weapons in their hands but not pointed _at_ them. As two soldiers walked forward, he whispered a quick _'It's okay'_ to Kida, who had long been startled awake and was close to doing something stupid if Izaya didn't beat him to it. Standing up, he gave them a sharp smile, hands in his pockets wrapping around the switchblades that he always carried with him. He was sure Shizuo wouldn't order them to engage in a fight, but maybe they were acting out of their own accord out of spite. 

"Orihara Izaya," The one of the two that looked more buff said, and Izaya felt the pull at his lips go bitter at the mention of that surname, because it was the only thing his father left behind before running away, and he frankly didn't want it, "Upon your request, you'll be the only one undergoing the trial which will determine if you receive punishment or not. Erika, daughter of Gothel, Shinra son of Dr. Facilier, and Celty will be left unharmed," He announced, voice booming, so loud and clear that he was sure even his mother could hear it from home. He'd told her the night before that something like this was probably going to happen sooner or later, and she hadn't looked the least bit surprised. 

His smile only widened, with this sort of bitter relief, and he was about to make some clever remark that he really shouldn't make, but then he heard a devastated " _What?"_ from behind him, and recognised it to be Erika's voice. She could be making so many faces, ranging from hurt to infuriated, and he thought that his heart just might break if he turned to see it, so he put his arms out in front of him, and loftily said, "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get this trial over and done with," because he was so desperate to get away from his friends. 

"Any weapons on you?" The other guard asked with a raised brow, and Izaya sighed dramatically, taking the two switchblades out of his jacket and wondered if he could make a show of ever so humbly handing them over to the soldiers. But as he stared down at them, his smile fell a little, because he'd been carrying them around long before he learnt how to use them, and all his other blades were at home. Giving them up now meant that he'd be walking around without his knives for the first time in years. It might have sounded silly to anyone else, but they were practically an extension of his arms, something that mean adrenaline and safety and some semblance of power whenever he got into trouble, which was often. 

He swung his arm to the side, and threw them behind him, hearing the scratching sound of metal clattering on hard cement. 

The soldiers then cuffed his arms, and put a hand on his shoulders as they escorted him forward, followed by the other dozen or so soldiers that were thankfully leaving everyone unharmed. He felt a little flattered by all the attention he was getting. But as he walked forward, he felt irritated by the gloom and silence that filled the air, wondering what the trial was going to be like, knowing it wasn't going to be fair and that he was probably going to be thrown in a prison worse than The Isle when he heard Erika calling his name.

Her voice sounded broken and frustrated, and he did the mistake of stopping and turning his head, to see her lips in a frown and tears flowing down her cheeks. "This was _not_ the time to decide to stop being selfish." And with a blank look on his face he saw the strong and fiery Erika bite her lip and clench her fist as she cried silently, and he saw Shinra staring back at him as if trying to figure him out, and even Celty's shiny black helmet seemed to be sadder than usual. 

"Well there's a first time for everything, isn't there?" He joked, voice light and breezy. Before turning his head away he locked eyes with Kida, who looked close to bursting into tears himself, so Izaya just winked at him, because he didn't need to worry about the leader of The Dollars for a second. 

The two soldiers by his side pushed him forward again, and his legs felt heavy, and his wrists ached from the cuffs, but the thing he hated most was the silence. It felt like he was being escorted to his own funeral.

"So," He started casually, glancing at the guards with a sly smile, "How did you two get this job? Did you volunteer? Are you fans of me?" He teased, voice laced with the drawl of mockery, and completely devoid of the inkling of fear wrapping around his throat. 

-

_"They're taking me away soon," Izaya had told his mother the day before, when the sun had long set and the twins were fast asleep. She just rose her brow at his statement that didn't fit the conversation at all, but she didn't seem to need any elaboration. She must have been expecting something like that ever since he crash landed back into The Isle._

_"Well I can't say I'm surprised," She responded, lifting her cup of coffee to her lips, and resting her back against the counter. It would have been odd for anyone else to see the great Maleficent look so domestic, in her daunting pitch black cloak that a young Izaya stole dozens of times, turning it into a fuzzy warm cape that trailed behind him as he ran around the house._

_"If it's any consolation, I'll do my best to survive," He said, a sharp, almost mocking smile on his lips. It's not like she didn't care. She did, in her own weird way, but she was worse than him at showing it._

_"I'd hope so," She responded nonchalantly, "If not, I'll have to give them a better reason to lock me up."_

_It was a threat, one that probably promised bloodshed. It must be terrifying to witness Maleficent claim to release her wrath on the people of Avalon if they were to kill her son. But Izaya wasn't quite as horrified as he was touched, because she had basically told him that she had his back._

_"Thanks mum," He said around a small smile, one that was wholeheartedly genuine._

_Then he watched Maleficent, The Mistress of Evil, the baddest villain of them all, and the woman that didn't know the first thing about raising kids, walk over to him and wrap her arms around him to give him a hug. As he returned the embrace and rested his chin on her shoulder, he let an amused laugh bubble up his throat and past his lips._

_With the fabric of her cloak scratching his chin, he closed his eyes, and vaguely wondered if the embrace of such a wicked villain should feel so warm and safe._

_-_

Beyond the barrier, Izaya couldn't see the sun. Hiding behind the bleak and dull clouds that acted like a blanket on the world, it might as well have been missing from the sky. Once they made it to Avalon, a bag was put over Izaya's head, and his hands were tied, and there were voices and hushed whispers. He could have been taken to his execution without ever knowing it. But after a speedy, and slightly bumpy ride, and hearing muffled shouts and yells because the dark black bag was blocking all of his senses, he was pulled gruffly out of the limousine. The same car that was used to take him to Avalon so many months ago. This time around it felt an awful lot like a hearse. 

When the bag was taken off his head, he felt like he could breathe again, and he blinked owlishly as his eyes tried to adjust to the sudden splash of colours. It was still an overall dull palette; He could see that he was in the clearing, just a few metres away from the forest that held the enchanted lake, and the barrier beyond that. And he was alone, save for the snobby looking man dressed in pants, a shirt and a blazer that made Izaya think he wanted to show off his importance. 

"Careful there," He said as the stranger started removing away his cuffs, "I bruise like a peach." 

The guy didn't crack a smile, but Izaya just grinned wider, while a small part of him accepted that he was going to die at the hands of an old man. He hoped that the story books would make it sound cool. Or maybe, his tale wouldn't be written down in the first place, only left to be forgotten. 

"I'm Riku," He offered a handshake along with the name, and Izaya rubbed at his wrists were the cuffs left a few light bruises. "Right," He said while putting his hands on his hips, and ignoring the gesture just because he was annoyed by the man's trimmed beard and well kept grey hair, because he was sure that he himself was looking like a mess. Riku's smile flickered a little before he put his hand down. 

"So there's been a change of plans," He informed him while he tapped his fingers on the cylindrical holster that was at his waist, "Your trial is going to be a bit different than normal. It's going to be just us, here." 

Izaya didn't like the sound of that, but he only hummed in response, smile sharp, and hands aching to have the familiar hold of a switchblade. The driver in the limousine had driven off the moment Izaya got out of his seat. And looking around him, around the clearing, and at the trees that lined the start of the forest, his suspicions were proven to be true. 

They were completely alone. 

"You came here quite willingly. And we appreciate that, but that's not the version of things that was released to the public," Riku said, pacing back and forth, sharp grey eyes eyeing Izaya like he was a pest. 

He furrowed his brows

"What?" He asked as he felt his mouth go dry.

"As far as the public is concerned, you put up a fight, went on a rampage before running away. Sources report that you went to the edge of the barrier. And when Prince Shizuo heard of that, he went right _there,"_ He reached into the holster as he said it, pulling out a wand, painted in icy blue and covered in crystals; The Fairy Godmother's wand. And he pointed it at the forest. Izaya's thoughts were running a mile a minute, while he felt like his heart had just stopped beating.

"You're manipulating the public," He said shakily with a laugh that lacked any mirth. Riku's lips moulded into a smile, making Izaya taste bile in his throat, "I'm shocked that you sound so surprised. Surely you know that you've done much worse." 

"Aw, come on," He drawled as he felt his hands start to shake, anticipating the worst outcome, "You say that like it's a bad thing." 

And Izaya folded his arms, knowing that if this guy wanted him dead, he was going to do it soon. But men like him were all talk and fancy speeches without any bite to back up their words. "What game are you playing?" 

Riku hummed as he tapped a finger against his chin. 

"How about the game where I have the wand in my hand, and the prince who the people still adore because they're all blithering _idiots,_ is going to get what he deserves."

His smile was vengeful, and he made a motion with his hand holding the wand that looked an awful lot like pulling the trigger of a gun. It was still pointing at the forest. 

Shizuo was in the forest. 

"You want to kill him." 

Izaya felt numb all over. 

"Don't sound so glum." 

It was like being soothed by a mad man. 

"I'm done with all of this bullshit. The politics, the talk about what's right and wrong. You have people caring about the victims on The Isle while others don't give a shit, only pretending to care so that they look good." 

"Riku-"

"But you're a smart kid, aren't you? You just want to bring hell on Avalon, right? Well after I blow up that forest into flames you can take the wand. You can have all the power." 

As Izaya stared blankly at him, and as everything started to click, he couldn't help but laugh, the sound so loud and bitter because he figured it out. 

"I get it! _You're_ the judge. _This_ is my trial. I take the wand, and I'm guilty," And he wished it could end there. He so desperately wished that it could be that simple. But Riku had a manic look in his eye and he was staring at the forest as if he was imagining what it would look like if it were to crumble and fall. "And there is no way to prove I'm innocent." 

He was going to burn it all down. Frame Izaya for it probably. Then, it was Izaya's word against his. No one would ever believe him. And he should have been concerned for himself. He really should have, because there was no way out of this. But the only thing screaming at him in his head was that Shizuo was in trouble. There was only one entrance to that forest. Burn that down and Shizuo had no way out. 

"You caught on quickly. I'm impressed. But did you know that you're also representing your friends right now? So my judgement for you is also going to apply for them."

Izaya bit his tongue and gave him a humourless smile. _Every_ meaningful decision he'd done lately had been for nothing. But then, he had a thought.

"There's only one thing you failed to consider, Riku. Only magic wielders can cast spells. And as far as I'm concerned, you're not related to anyone that has distinct magical abilities." 

The pull at the man's lips didn't even twitch, and that's when Izaya felt his blood turn cold. 

"Oh, but that's the thing Izaya. All our ancestors possessed the ability. So it doesn't matter _where_ you come from," He paused and smiled even wider, "We all have a little magic inside us." 

The first thing Izaya saw was fire. He didn't even have time to register the swish of a wrist, or catch the mumbling of a spell. The trees were engulfed in flame, and it was so bright and colourful, like witnessing the death of the sun. 

"Was that so hard? You can take the wand now." 

Slowly, _very slowly_ , Izaya turned to look at Riku who looked so disgustingly satisfied.

Izaya's vision was red, even if he wasn't looking at the fire, and everything was bleary and unclear. There was a horrible blood curdling scream, before he realised that it was his own voice ringing in his ears. He barely processed Riku's deranged smile falling as he locked eyes with him. And then Izaya was lunging at him, grabbing the man by the collar and punching him so hard in the face that he fell backwards with a pained scream of his own. There was blood on Izaya's knuckles. 

"I swear to you," His voice was shaking but he forced out the words anyway as he put his left foot on the man's chest while pressing down, "I swear to your _miserable_ existence. I'm going to make your life a _hell_ even if it's the _last_ thing I do," He spat, only stepping away when he heard a scream of anguish and the sound of cracking ribs. 

As he ran to the forest, he had nothing. There was no plan. He wasn't experienced enough to do any good with the wand. He would probably just make the fire worse. But he could outrun the fire, he could find Shizuo, he could push him into the lake again as the world around them burned down to the ground.

He hadn't even entered the fire, but the smoke alone was making him delirious, but he kept pushing through, because adrenaline was pumping in his veins, and his heart was in his throat, and his hands were shaking from dread alone. 

_'I'll keep you safe Izaya-kun,'_ Shizuo had promised him when they were eight, when Izaya was complaining about losing sleep because of horrible nightmares. 

_'I promise.'_

For some twisted reason, Izaya remembered, very vividly, how his eyes went wide and the giggle of excitement escaping his lips. 

_'Really?! Then I promise to keep you safe too!'_

As he ran into the forest engulfed in flames, the forest that would soon turn to ashes, Izaya faced the fact that, there was no plan. 

There was only a promise to keep.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone thank "All The King's Horses" and "Wicked Games" (one of the covers of it anyway) because I wrote the last scene and edited it as they played and without them I would have not been able to execute it properly. 
> 
> Next chapter will be the finale :)


	14. I See The Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That moment when you're writing a kiss scene, and you just forget that the waist exists

Slowly, and very groggily, Izaya opened his eyes to wake up to a familiar room; Shizuo's dorm. There was a dull thumping in his head, and he squinted at the sunlight filtering in through the curtains, because even though he had just woken up from a nap, it felt like he was waking up from some deep slumber that left his body feeling mucky and heavy. He couldn't even recall falling asleep the day before or _how_ he ended up in Shizuo's room in the first place. 

"Shizu-chan?" He called, voice not much higher than a whisper as his throat felt scratchy, as if he'd been screaming the day before. And that was odd to say the least because Izaya was _not_ the type to scream. 

After a few moments with no reply, he decided that Shizuo wasn't there, and thought that he might as well get out of bed and get back to his homework since his professors weren't letting up with that bit at all. Even though the coronation was so close. He paused for a moment as the pain in his head turned sharp.

_-A surge of power rushed through_

_right through his veins_

_so he_

_he pointed the wand at the crown_

_the golden crown_

_it went up_

_up in flames-_

As he rubbed at his eyes, the pain went away, almost forgotten. But there was a small voice of reason, or perhaps of insanity, screaming at him inside of his own head, but it sounded so muffled when it said _'Didn't the coronation already happen?'_

As he tried to sit up, lightly wondering if he slept through any classes, he realised that his body being all mucky and heavy wasn't only in his head. It was like he was a stranger to it, and after living a life that was made up of running and chasing and being constantly vigilant he thought it should be a lot more terrifying for him to not have an ounce of control over his own limbs. But, although he was awake, he didn't feel like he was _there._ It was like looking at the world around him from a different lens.

As the door opened, to reveal a brunette wearing a familiar uniform (the one sported by the staff), he felt sluggish. 

"Izaya! You're awake," The young lady remarked, shooting him a small little smile as she closed the door again, a tray with a glass of water and two pills in hand. She set it down on the bedside table. 

"I'm Akari," She said, with a voice that sounded like bells chiming in the wind, and a small part of Izaya said _'I knew that'_ but he didn't, because they'd never met and then,

_-his fingers were in Shizuo's hair_

_'Am I interrupting something?'_

_flustered_

_she looked so flustered_

_he caught a glimpse of a name tag_

_'Akari'-_

As she watched him with a smile that he started to think was a little forced, a little nervous, a little like it was hiding something, he studied her with a blank look before shaking his head lightly and silently scolding himself for acting so weird. 

"Lovely day, isn't it?" He said as his lips stretched into a smile, silently wondering _'When did I get that memory?'_

At his reaction, she seemed to calm down, and that's when his grin twitched a little because there was something he didn't know, something he couldn't connect, but even when he tried to remember the events of the day before it felt like there was a large shadow looming over his own memories, blocking them off and leaving him clueless. Watching her fumble around the room, putting her arm against his forehead to check his temperature, he tried to think. He was on Avalon, 

_-a sharp pain in his shoulder_

_a sharp sharp pain_

_he'd fallen right off_

_right off of Shooter_

_it was dislocated_

_he was frowning as Shinra popped it back-_

It was like remembering somebody else's life, because none of that had ever happened, but it all felt so _real._

_-'You pushed that Shizuo guy into a lake'_

_Namie'd said sounding like a_

_like a friend_

_he'd heard crows-_

"How are you feeling?" Akari was asking, so he replied with a quipped _'Fine'_ along with another smile because he didn't know _what_ he should be responding with. Under the covers, he searched for his switchblades because he always had one or two up his sleeves, because something was off and he was pretty sure that he wasn't safe- 

_-'Any weapons on you?'_

_he swung_

_swung his arms to the side_

_threw them behind_

_behind him_

_metal clattering on loud cement-_

As he searched, hands trailing over the soft mattress and rumpled covers he realised that he was wearing a loose pajama shirt and pants that he didn't recall putting on in the first place. "I'm sorry," He said after a few moments, deciding to ditch the act like he knew what was happening around him, "I don't remember anything from yesterday. What happened?" 

It probably wasn't the smartest decision. Letting the only person in the room, who he didn't fully trust know that he was that vulnerable really was a stupid move. But he was so utterly clueless, that he didn't have much of a choice. 

"I see," She said, with this unwavering calmness, but it only seemed to reach the surface, the very surface-

_-he watched the surface_

_the surface of the lake_

_ripple and splash_

_ripple_

_before Shizuo's head poked out_

_to stare right_

_right at him-_

"It's a long story, so I must ask you to stay calm. What's the last thing you remember?" 

He gave her a bemused look, a confused little smile hanging at his lips before mumbling the question back to himself, absentmindedly staring at his hands, examining his knuckles where-

_-there was blood_

_there was blood on Izaya's knuckles_

_a blood curdling scream_

_screaming_

_that was his own-_

_'What's the last thing you remember?'_

The dull pain was back, screaming, thumping, screeching in his head, like it wanted to rip him apart, as fragments, little fragments of a story came back to him, and he felt like he was going insane as he tried to make them fit in the timeline of events that he couldn't remember. He was going to burst, open up and burst, fall apart and collapse because-

_-'I swear_

_swear to you_

_I'm going to make_

_make your life a hell_

_even if it's the last_

_last_

_the very last_

_thing I do'-_

-because none of it was making sense, and he was smiling, _still_ smiling, even as he felt like he was splitting apart. But it was only a matter of time before it clicked, before he found some order, as something was there, flashing in front of his eyes, bright and horrible and he thought it to be familiar-

_-The first thing_

_the very first thing_

_that he saw_

_was fire_

_bright and_

_colourful_

_like the death_

_the death of the_

_of the sun-_

As he gaped at her with wide eyes, his unassuming little smile tumbled off of his lips, and fell, to crash and break into a million pieces. 

"Fire," He said, loud and clear, watching her own expression of serenity start to crack, "There was fire."

Before she could react, he was up, even if his own body felt like a stranger, and he tackled her till they fell on the ground with a loud thump. Immediately, he put his right hand over her mouth to keep her from screaming, and watched the panic in her eyes fade away as he pressed underneath her shoulder blade with his other. And then he was up, abandoning the unconscious body on the floor and opening the door wide open, without a care that he didn't know where he was going or who he could trust because all he could remember was running towards a burning forest. 

Outside there was the familiar corridor, looking all beautiful and sunlit, littered with staff that all gasped a, "He's awake!" at the sight of him, and he glared at them all as they started to approach. 

_"Where_ is Riku?" He demanded asking for the name of a man that he barely even knew, watching them shift from expressions of confusion to that of panic, like they knew something he didn't, and he _hated_ it, because he'd spent all his life knowing everything about everyone and suddenly he couldn't remember how he ended up back at the school in the first place. But they tried to come up to him, attempted to talk to him, the few that realised that he was unstable scurried around the corner , but he could barely focus because his body was still so sluggish despite the circumstances. 

His empty hands ached so he clenched them into fists.

"I'm sorry, what's all this commotion about?" 

He recognised the voice before he saw the man turn the corner, had made it scream at the air around it, and he had every intention to hear that awful and pained sound again. Although his voice was very much the same, still snobby and annoying, as Riku himself turned around the corner he was limping, practically hobbling, and not wearing any of his form fitting and regal clothes. He was in sleepwear similar to Izaya's.

As he noticed Izaya, looking absolutely livid, his skin paled, and he wished he could take pride in that, but he was too busy running, sprinting at that pathetic excuse for a man even if it killed him, because he looked like he wanted to run away, to escape, and Izaya wasn't sure why, but he would be damned if he let that happen. Ignoring the panicked gasps and yells from their audience, he tackled Riku to the ground, resting his hands on his throat and ready to start applying a force. "You were there," He said, staring at those steely grey eyes as he tried to figure them out, "You were there when I ran into the fire. Why?" 

He could feel the man swallow nervously under his fingertips, "What do you mean-"

"Why did I run into it?" 

At the time, he somehow found some sense to not ask, _'And why do I want to kill you?'_

As he waited for an answer, he really couldn't remember much. Just flashes of events, and even then it was taking him a lot longer to connect the puzzle pieces even if the picture they painted would have been obvious to anyone else. What he could recall clearly however, was the emotions associated with the vivid images flashing before his eyes. There was anger wrapped up in sadness. And _fear._ A fear that was making his hands tremble against the older man's throat. 

"For Shizuo," Riku, the man that Izaya's mind somehow salvaged, whispered. And as the people around him started grabbing at him, pulling him off and away, his skin went pale, and his body was numb all over. As he was dragged away from the man that he didn't know, he could feel every inch of himself screaming that he was a threat and that he should fight, but so many people now had their hands on his shoulders trying to keep him still, and it was so _loud._ But the loudest thing was the ringing in his ears. 

It was like being twelve again and staring at a group of older children cornering his sisters, like turning around a dark corner and seeing the grimy walls trailed with blood and thinking, _'Since when did it get so hard to breathe?'_

"Shizuo," He croaked out, vision going blurry as he felt hot tears trailing down his cheeks, _"Where's Shizuo?"_ He asked again, voice breaking as he said the name. 

_'He's dead,'_ said a little voice inside his head, and he couldn't _see,_ couldn't _breathe,_ could barely hold himself up on his own two feet. He felt so small, so very small surrounded by all those people because he didn't have a plan or his switchblades, or _anything._

From the distance, Riku thought that Izaya was glaring at him through the tears. But he was actually looking at somewhere else, somewhere behind him, and he was squinting because the sun was in the way but something, or perhaps _someone_ must have caught his eye. 

"Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked as the figure started running through the corridor to reach him. But before he could decide if it was him or not, his body abandoned him, and all he could remember was the world going black before he passed out. 

-

_"So," Hama, a fellow council member started, and Shizuo thought that she made that single word sound so tired and heavy, "After Shizuo's speech at the school and his rebuttal at Riku's statement, it's becoming evident that killing him is a horrible idea. Besides the moral flaws in that, the people are starting to take a liking to this Izaya guy. And I don't want to deal with an angered nation so we're going to have to decide a fair sentence for him."_

_Shizuo wasn't sure if he should have felt frustrated or relieved by the fact that one of the bigger reasons that Izaya wasn't going to be locked up or killed was because he started appealing to the people. But since Hama was taking a step in this direction, he felt a little better, because she wasn't the type of person to look at anyone twice unless she felt like they deserved a second chance._

_" Agreed," Riku joined in, sounding a little tired himself, "And ever since the guards delivered his request to be punished alone, it would be even more of a foolish decision anyway. Question is, what do we do? We can't let him off the hook after everything he did."_

_There was a silent agreement across the table, and although Shizuo wanted to say something, he knew he had no place to do so._

_"How about we make a trial of sorts?" Ronin, who had been quiet like always and mulling over every word, finally suggested. "A trial?" Hama asked with a snide laugh, but the man ignored her and scratched his beard. "Think about it. After looking over Izaya's actions, there are two things that stand out. On one hand, his ambition and pride that started all of this. On the other hand, there is the lengths he went to to fix his mistakes."_

_"You mean the lengths he went to in order to help Shizuo," His dad, who was at the head of the table joined in, and Ronin nodded. "We can use that. Make a sort of trial where his choice reveals what he favours deep down."_

_Everyone on the table then turned to look at Shizuo, and he felt like a deer in headlights, wondering silently what the hell they were going to come up with, and if it would be enough to trick Izaya._

_-_

_"So what exactly is this trial going to consist of?" He was asking as he entered the meeting room, bustling with people and representatives and The Fairy Godmother herself, who was showing Riku a particular motion with her wand._

_"We can't tell you all the details," April, the youngest of the council at age nineteen, and the representative of Rapunzel's kingdom told him, with an excited smile and a stack of papers in her arms, "But Riku is really going to be the star of the show here. I'm teaching him some acting skills because he's really bad at playing the part of 'insane psycho'."_

_Said man sneered at her from across the room, but April just stuck her tongue out at him, and The Fairy Godmother pinched his cheek so that he would focus on the motion again._

_"We're actually going to be broadcasting Izaya's trial live with hidden cameras," She continued while Hama was saying something about alerting the people of their plan beforehand._

_"You're going to turn it into a show," He said, feeling a little sick. From what he could gather, this wasn't going to be some average trial, and the thought of using it as a form of entertainment for the people made him want to stop the entire operation. They shouldn't think so low of Izaya._

_"We're not using him as entertainment," She replied as if reading his mind, tucking a strand of dark black hair behind her ear, "It's so that the people can see Izaya's choice for themselves."_

_He felt a little useless as he stood there in the middle of it all, watching Riku swish the wand carefully and lighting a vase on fire. "Oh marvellous," The Godmother said delightedly, and everyone in the room started clapping while Riku took a light bow. And then, "Oh dear," She tutted, "Oh dear it's actually on fire- no this won't do," And she was taking the wand again before putting it out effortlessly._

_"Set that forest on actual fire and I'll be setting you on fire," Hama warned, while Riku petulantly crossed his arms over his chest, muttering a low 'You try to do it,'._

_And Shizuo just tried to understand what was happening around him._

_-_

_He hadn't exactly told anyone that he was going to the barrier on his birthday, in hopes of seeing Izaya. It's not like he had any intention of leaking anything out, even if he did end up giving him a heads up and telling him that it was going to be some sort of trial. Knowing that much wasn't going to help him much anyway. He just simply wanted to see him, because despite all the frustration he really missed him._

_As he rested against the barrier, he genuinely didn't think that he'd show up. He had no reason to. But then he saw a silhouette appearing on the hilltop in the distance, and as the figure started running towards him, and a familiar, obnoxiously loud laugh filled the air, Shizuo felt like he was out of breath._

_-_

_On that night, when he arrived back at the school (The council insisted that everything was to continue like normal, so professors went on with their lessons, and the students listened, even if no one was paying attention since everyone was wondering if they'd get to see the four kids from The Isle again. The only time he ever went home was to attend the meetings, although lately they were starting to take place at the school since The Fairy Godmother needed to look after it as principal as well as help in the preparations for the trial) he hadn't been expecting to open his dorm room to find his mother there, sitting on the armchair with a book in her hand. She always did love to read._

_"Mum," He greeted, a little awkwardly. They hadn't exactly spoken since the disastrous coronation, even if he was technically on speaking terms with his dad. Since the ceremony had been put to a stop, his dad was still King, and was obviously attending council meetings to make some of the major decisions alongside Shizuo. Despite of everything that had happened, he was more or less on his side But his mum and her silence were a different story. He sighed as he closed the door, and wracked his brain to find the right thing to say. "I know things are bad right now."_

_"They are," She agreed, not really sounding bitter like he thought she would, "But you're trying to deal with it, aren't you?"_

_"Yeah," He said, scratching the back of his neck, "I just thought you'd be angry at me."_

_She smiled a small little smile as she closed the book over her finger so that she wouldn't lose the page, "Should I be angry at you? I wonder," She mused, mostly to herself. Shizuo just stood there, awkward and tall, fumbling lightly with his fingers because he didn't know if she was going to be passive-aggressive or coy or both. He was never good at that stuff._

_"You know Shizuo, for the longest time now I felt like you weren't yourself anymore."_

_He gave her a confused little look, but despite her own words, her smile never fell._

_"When you were still a boy you'd climb trees for the simple reason that it was fun. You'd let me read you bedtime stories even if you wrinkled your nose at every 'Once Upon A Time' that I read to you. And you'd go running to the barrier beyond the forest so you could play with the boy from The Isle, even after hearing for so long that everyone on that island was bad. You were so... you."_

_"Izaya wasn't bad. He was just a kid, like me." He mumbled lightly, and the skin next to her eyes crinkled at his words._

_"Somewhere along the years it felt like I was losing you, you know? Every time I suggested something for you it seemed to backfire. Like, that arranged marriage with Vorona. I could practically see your eyes go dull."_

_Shizuo stared at his mother helplessly, because he had so many things to say, but didn't know how to word any of them. "I stopped talking to you," He blurted out, and her smile turned a little sweeter, "Really talking to you, I mean. I'm sorry," And before he could catch his breath he decided no, that wasn't enough, that wasn't nearly enough, "I'm sorry I messed up. I'm sorry things are bad right now. I'm sorry you and dad have to go through this."_

_She hummed, a wonderful little sound, and she seemed so calm, as if she'd heard it all before. "You messed up? How so? I doubt you could've done anything to stop Izaya."_

_He felt guilty as she asked the question and his mother rose a brow._

_"Izaya actually asked me in his own way if I would go to the enchanted lake willingly so that he'd know I was cured from the potion for sure," He gulped and felt shameful as he continued, "I didn't take him seriously. If I did, probably none of this would be happening."_

_She observed him for a moment._

_"But, even despite all of this. You're not sorry about bringing over those four from The Isle." It wasn't a question._

_"They're good kids," He supplied._

_"And you still want to bring more of them over."_

_He nodded his head._

_"And lastly, you're not sorry about Izaya, are you?"_

_It was a little scary, because he didn't even need to think about the answer for a moment._

_He sat down on his bed and they talked a little after that. He asked how his dad was doing, because they didn't talk much outside of the meetings, and she told him that like her, he was stressed, and a little frustrated, but he couldn't bring himself to be angry at neither Shizuo or Izaya. The both of them seemed to be trying to hard to make the right choice, after all._

_And then, as she left the armchair to sit next to him, she told him, 'Tell me a story,' like he'd told her countless times when he was younger and tucked in bed. Because he liked stories, for the most part, but he loved retelling them to Izaya by the barrier even more, as they didn't have many storybooks on The Isle._

_But, his mother had read every book and knew every story by heart. So he started to tell her stories that she couldn't have possibly heard before. He told her about all the grand adventures of two, seven year old boys. He told her how, as the days passed, Izaya was no longer the lost looking boy from The Isle, but his obnoxious and wonderful best friend that had the loudest laugh and brightest smile. He told her about that time that Izaya tripped and banged his head against the barrier, and how Shizuo panicked and banged his own head against the barrier so he wouldn't be in pain alone, and she'd laughed till there were tears forming in her eyes._

_And as he talked about Izaya, describing his flaws and everything that made him great, Belle gave him this knowing look, like she knew what had taken him years to figure out._

_"I see. Vorona never stood a chance, huh?" She asked, mostly to herself, and he felt his palms go sweaty. He cleared his throat as casually as he could._

_"Even if she's perfect," He interjected, because he fully believed it. He'd figured that much out when he twisted his ankle weirdly when he was ten, and she let him rest his weight on her as he hobbled back home._

_"Oh but Shizuo, you never wanted perfect did you? You just want Izaya."_

_He closed his eyes and let out a small sigh, resting his forehead against her shoulder as she brushed her fingers through his hair, while trying to get his heart to stop beating so loudly._

_-_

_Shizuo was with the council, sitting in their respective seats and staring at the television that was broadcasting Izaya's trial. It was safe to say that every soul on Avalon was watching it. He watched Izaya exit the limousine, looking around him distrustfully, like he knew something was up, because of course he did. He was too smart for this._

_'So there's been a change of plans,' He heard Riku say, and knew it to be a lie, because in reality everything was going well. As Riku told Izaya that he was manipulating the public, that was a lie to, because all the people knew the truth of Izaya complying for the sake of his friends. As Izaya started tensing up and giving into Riku's lie, like what was planned, he didn't know that there were thousands of people rooting for him to make the right choice._

_He watched Riku tell Izaya that he was in the forest looking for him, and he felt dirty and horrible, because he was right there, sitting with the council safe and sound, sharing glances with April whenever he was questioning Riku's sanity, and she just gave him a reassuring nod that he was just repeating all the lines they'd rehearsed. More or less at least._

_Things escalated all too quickly from there. Everything happened at once. The forest was on fire, and the members of the council mumbled about how great the illusion appeared. But then Izaya was screaming before facing Riku, looking so absolutely livid that the man's deranged act fell as Izaya tackled him to the ground. And he was crying, fat tears welling up in his eyes because he thought Shizuo was in danger. He thought he was dead._

_Shizuo was already up from his seat along with everyone else. At April's look of terror as they heard the cracking of a bone and a pained scream he was extremely sure that Izaya was not responding in a way that they'd anticipated._

_"Are you guys INSANE?!" He asked as he whipped his head around to face them. Everyone looked dumbfounded. "Why did the act have to go so far?! Now Riku has broken ribs!"_

_"Apologies Prince Shizuo, I just wasn't expecting him to take such drastic actions- IS HE RUNNING INTO THE FIRE?!"_ _Hama's sarcastic tone morphed into an incredulous question, and she was gaping at the screen. Shizuo wanted to flip the table. His father was gaping helplessly at the screen. This was an absolute mess. "Oh I'm sorry but WHAT DID YOU EXPECT HIM TO DO?!"_

_"I don't know! Maybe not take the wand?! I didn't think he'd actually try to go in to save you," She said defensively, before adding, "He's not that stupid."_

_"Yes he is," He replied frantically, because Izaya was notorious for making stupid decisions. They should have known this by now._

_Then, his father stood up, ready to start taking action._

_"April, Hama, go to them and get them back here safely. The rest of us are staying here to offer an explanation and calm the people. They're going to need it after witnessing something so... unfortunate."_

_Everyone nodded, but the two women of the council were looking expectantly at Shizuo, as if it were obvious that he should go with them. And he himself could feel his heart beating hard in his chest, and his throat going dry._

_"Dad," He said amidst the chaos, and the man looked at him, looking so wise and old, with this knowing look._

_"You want to go," He told him._

_"Need to."_

_They looked at each other with this unrelenting gaze, exchanging everything that they'd avoided talking about for so long._

_"Then go."_

_He didn't need to hear anything else. He, Hama and April were running out of the room, desperate to avoid the onslaught of people that would eventually flooding the corridors with questions and concerns._

_"The Fairy Godmother is there hiding. She told me if he went anywhere near the illusion she'd cast a spell that would make him faint so that he wouldn't accidentally hurt himself. He'll need a few days to wake up," April was saying as they arrived at the limousine parked outside._

_"For fuck's sake! The keys are inside and there's no sign of a driver anywhere."_

_Shizuo had never heard someone as respectful and dignified as Hama swear. He would have laughed if the circumstances were different. With no time to lose, he punched the window, ignoring her loud 'Shizuo!' as he unlocked the door from the inside and opened it._

_"Riku is on the floor with at least one broken rib, Izaya is probably collapsed on the floor by now and the people are going to be in panic if we don't bring them both back soon," he said as he dusted off the glass shards from the seat, "All because your trial went horrible wrong because you underestimated him. Do you really want to lecture me about vandalism right now?"_

_Hama made an annoyed sound before getting in and starting up the engine._

_"Why didn't The Fairy Godmother disguise herself as someone else and made the illusion herself, anyway?" He was asking, desperate to distract himself. Izaya would have never believed that she would turn against Shizuo, but if she pretended to be someone he'd never met before..._

_"She couldn't bring herself to do it. Said she didn't have the heart to tell Izaya such things," April replied, and well, he couldn't really blame her._

_"She doesn't have the wand with her though. Are you sure she was able to cast that spell on him?"_

_Hama scoffed at him while April rolled her eyes. "She's the Fairy Godmother Shizuo, you really think she needs a wand to perform magic?"_

_He bit his tongue and nodded, focusing on the view outside of the car window and desperately trying to forget the sound of Izaya's screams when he thought that he was dead._

_-_

_They arrived to find that the illusion of the forest was lifted, and it looked the same as ever. Collapsed on the floor, were Riku and Izaya. The both of them were unconscious, and The Fairy Godmother was pacing around fussing over them. Shizuo guessed that she must have put Riku to sleep as well to spare him from all the pain that he was feeling. And healing spells normally took up a lot of energy from the human body, which was probably why she hadn't bothered to heal his broken bones with magic._

_Wordlessly, Shizuo knelt on the ground next to Izaya, and cradled his head while pulling him close to his chest. "You're okay," He said, voice shaking a little as he remembered how pained Izaya had looked just moments ago, "You can rest now."_

_-_

_A day had passed and Izaya was still fast asleep. It turned out that he was so violent and reckless at the time, that quite the potent spell was needed to subdue him. But he'd wake up. Eventually. His body just needed to rest._

_Shizuo was thankful that the council and his parents took the task of calming everybody down upon themselves. They were even asking Celty, Shinra and Erika if they wanted to come back on Avalon to see Izaya if nothing else, especially after being alerted of the full story and Izaya's fit of rage. And Shizuo was there, in his dorm, sitting on a chair next to his bed, silently waiting for Izaya to wake up. It was decided that they should remain in the school, since there were already a lot of staff around at the ready to help anyway. Shizuo's room was chosen because it was a familiar place, and temporary memory loss of recent events was something that they were expecting as a symptom of the spell._

_So they were hoping that a familiar and safe environment would calm him down._

_There was a knock at the door that stopped Shizuo from dozing off, but he couldn't help but smile lightly when his eyes took in the sight of blonde hair and sharp grey eyes._

_"Vorona," He greeted. With all of the commotion of the past few days they didn't get much of a chance to talk, even if she and Tom did their best to not leave him alone, given that his proclamation had backfired just days ago. Kasuka even pulled him away sometimes to play video games, insisting that he needed a distraction before he self destructed. He really did have the very best of friends._

_"He's still asleep," She observed, walking over to Izaya and lightly ruffling his hair, and Shizuo thought the action to be a little affectionate. It was adorable. "Yeah. Must be a lot to take in, huh?"_

_She made a sound of disagreement. "If you're talking about the fact that he broke Riku's ribs and threatened to kill him before running into a large fire to drag your ass out of there, I have to say you're wrong. I expected no less of him."_

_Shizuo couldn't help but snort. "Really now?"_

_She nodded her head, looking as serious as ever._

_"I don't know if you've noticed, but despite all your flaws, everyone loved you. They all thought you'd be a great King. And they still do. Me included."_

_Shizuo listened as she spoke, thinking that her words rang true. Sometimes the people around him just expected him to be this great and wonderful ruler, and he could never tell why, because most of the time, he couldn't imagine himself sitting on that throne and giving out orders. But he could see himself trying to make The Isle and Avalon better. Even if he'd screw up along the way. He'd always try._

_"I talked to Izaya once. He said you were nothing but a boy with a crown that's too large for your head," She told him, and Shizuo couldn't help but let out a bitter and a somewhat amused laugh, because Izaya always did know him better than anybody else._

_"And then, the boy from The Isle that knew nothing about love and kindness practically said that he'd stay by your side till it fits. Till you're ready to rule."_

_As he looked at Izaya, skin pale and hair a mess, he felt a little choked up._

_"I think it's safe to say that nobody has higher expectations for you than he does. So, be sure to stick around him, yeah?"_

_Shizuo let out a bit of a shaky and wet laugh. "Don't worry. I won't lose him this time around."_

_Vorona rolled her eyes and punched him on the shoulder, before proceeding to turn to make her way out the door as he rubbed the wounded area. "I don't think you ever lost him in the first place," She said, closing the door behind her._

_Shizuo let out a breath he didn't know he was holding at her words, and closed his eyes, wondering just how long he'd have to wait till he could hear that god awful nickname (which he'd been denying he liked since he was seven) from Izaya's lips._

_-_

When Izaya woke up the second time, it felt an awful lot like the first time, except everything felt worse. Thankfully his back was resting against a stack of pillows, so he was in a comfortable sitting up position instead of laying down. He vaguely remembered freaking out, and tackling Riku before fainting in the corridor. And although now he could recall all the events clearly, including running into the forest and passing out immediately once he made contact with the first wisp of fire, he wasn't in the mood to panic and run away from the castle because he was pretty sure that he saw Shizuo running up to him a little after he attempted to kill Riku. 

He squinted as he opened his eyes, because the sun was _right there,_ and groaned at the thumping pain in his head which was now a lot more unforgiving, even without the temporary amnesia. And then he shifted his gaze, to find Shizuo sitting on a chair right next to his bed, and with a small smile on his lips as he saw Izaya come to. He had dark circles under his eyes, and looked like he hadn't been sleeping for weeks, and his skin looked a little paler than he remembered it to be. And he was _alive._

"You're alive," He observed, before adding, "And you look like shit." 

Shizuo scowled at him, and after a moment of appreciating such a familiar expression, he let his smile drop. "So. What happened exactly?" Something told him that Shizuo knew a lot more about the situation than he let on. 

And know more he did. He explained how everything in the trial went according to plan, except for his own actions. No one was really expecting him to go berserk, so The Fairy Godmother decided to sedate him with a spell for the sake of his own safety. And, the public saw it all. They weren't manipulated and Izaya wasn't wanted dead anymore. He even added that he should probably apologise to Riku, who he had deeply traumatised. 

But despite all of the good news, Izaya couldn't help but feel dread circling around his throat when Shizuo looked at him with a smug little smile. 

"You jumped into a fire for me," He taunted, and Izaya could feel a blush creeping up his neck. 

"Well, Riku was going to frame me for killing you, so the most logical thing was to try to get you out of there," He defended, and although at the time he hadn't even considered such a fact, because all he could think about was how he could never live a life without Shizuo, it's not like it was a lie. 

"Right," Shizuo said, sounding unconvinced, "And because you love me." 

A part of Izaya wanted to make a distressed little sound, and to cover his face in his hands because it was embarrassing to say something like that. But looking over at Shizuo, he thought that even if he sounded so triumphant and victorious, it was also a silent question, a sort of closure that he needed. A closure he could only offer if he lifted his heart with all the strength he had.

"I do," He agreed easily, gazing at Shizuo a little longingly, wishing that he had a different strength; one that would allow him to reach out to him and be closer. Shizuo stayed silent for a few moments before getting the message, and then he was moving, straddling his hips while staying careful to not put too much weight on Izaya. 

As Izaya looked at Shizuo who was resting their foreheads together, taking in a deep breath as if satisfied that they finally closed the distance both literally and metaphorically, Izaya decided that he didn't mind the weight, or that Shizuo was taking up all of his vision. Because it meant he was there, _right there,_ just like the sun was every morning to greet the world with a new day. With his back against the pillows and no way to escape, Izaya was surprised that he didn't feel trapped. 

But such a sentiment was impossible, when Shizuo was leaning in to leave a trail of kisses on his neck, the edge of his jaw, and the corner of his mouth. He could feel Shizuo's smile against his skin, so with an amused smile and a suppressed chuckle, he put his fingers at the blonde's chin, steadying him so that he could connect their lips. The excuse in his head was that so he could remember what it felt like, but he'd be damned if he'd ever forget what it's like to be close to Shizuo like this. 

And Izaya would always love kissing Shizuo. It was warm and gentle, lazy and slow. And when Shizuo put his hands on Izaya's waist, trailing his fingers underneath his shirt and against his skin, and Izaya in turn carded his hands through his hair to deepen the kiss, it didn't feel desperate; it was all so natural, even if the two of them barely knew what they were doing. 

So as the sun found it's way into the room to paint it gold, they touched each other's skin with curiosity at their fingertips, and an air of clumsiness surrounded them as they groaned into each other's mouths in one moment and then laughed at the next. And when Shizuo pulled back to catch his breath, Izaya looked up at him with an odd little smile, as if he couldn't believe just how much he loved the boy, and he was fumbling about to lean back in again with a giddy sort of eagerness as the sunlight danced around them. 

-

Izaya barely caught sight of the next few weeks passing by. After being bedridden and unconscious for a few days, everyone from the school was quite anxious to see him again; and that ranged from professors to his fellow students. Even Erika and Celty demanded to see Izaya immediately once the guards delivered the news to them, while Shinra trudged back behind them, complaining that all the travelling was tiring him out. Celty elbowed him in the ribs for that. 

When they shoved open the door to find him conversing with Akari, Erika was at the lead, scolding him about everything he'd done wrong in the past few hours. Izaya just rolled his eyes and insisted that he was fine and that he didn't do anything over the top in the first place, while hiding a smile with the back of his hands at the sight of the three idiots again, but the brunette just deadpanned and said, quite dully he might add, _"You broke a man's ribs and ran into a fire."_

And after that, they were all sort of accepted back onto Avalon, after they all agreed that they wouldn't mind enrolling back in school there. But things were different this time. Shizuo, who was still spending a lot of time working on The Isle, appointed Izaya and his friends to help him. They knew the place better than anyone else, and in turn knew how they could actually help. Currently, Izaya was convincing Shiki to work alongside them, so that the underground could turn into a sort of police station that would keep citizens safe and in check. So they were practically going to continue operations normally, except with a lot less killing and violence this time around. Izaya was actually agreeing with Namie about how tasers should be given to authorities on the island so that violent situations could be diffused peacefully. Shizuo was a little hesitant on listening to them. 

And that's another thing. They were now allowed to return back to The Isle and spend time there as much as they wanted, as long as they didn't do anything too illegal and kept up with their school work. So when Izaya lead his two sisters, Kida, and a gaggle of other kids to Avalon the first time alongside Celty, he wasn't worried about leaving his mum alone because Mairu and Kururi were going to force him to go with them whenever they visited; which was going to be quite frequent. 

Perhaps it was chaos mixed in with a little bit of insanity. Perhaps the kids of The Isle were never meant to take a step on the grounds of Avalon. But Izaya didn't mind all the madness that much. Not when he was doing homework and studying for tests with his friends again, and going late to dinner because he and Nishikata spent too much time listening to the librarian's book recommendations for the fifth time in the week. And not then these days, whenever he walked through the courtyard, he could spot a handful of kids from The Dollars running around with the kids from Avalon, Isabelle at the lead alongside Kaito and Yua, because they were just kids, and didn't care where anyone was from as long as they were willing to play.

He and his friends visited The Isle all the time on _'Official Business'_ as it was called, and they checked out the steadily improving markets and the ever so slowly declining rates of crime. And then, they'd go to their parents, and The Dollars, and their rotting tree house and all they'd ever known. Izaya would exchange stories of his days with his mother, and he'd plan on how to take out the nastier parts of The Isle with Shiki (And then share all those details with Shizuo so that they could adjust their schemes as they always seemed to be a _little_ to 'extreme').

He started seeing Namie on the island too, sucking the light out of Avalon with her unwavering poker face, and he was sure to tell her that every time they crossed paths. 

He'd even managed to bring Kadota over. That ended with the two of them along with Shizuo, drunkenly attempting at making cookie batter at one in the morning in the kitchen of the school, and Erika caught all of it on tape along with Vorona. But then, the more stoic of the two got drunk, and long story short she and Izaya ended up sprawled on the floor having a conversation about dolphins. 

Erika caught every second of it. 

It was madness, and broken, crossing boundaries that perhaps should have never been disturbed, but they were all finally growing under the light of the sun. 

-

Shizuo was dreading the task that was given to him. Izaya was supposed to be the one dealing with this mess, since _he_ was the one that turned the crown to ashes, but he managed to thrust the job upon Shizuo. So like an idiot, he was entering the forest, searching for the blacksmith's hut so that he could ask him to make a new crown.

Red Hook wasn't exactly the most approachable guy. Firstly, barely anyone knew his name, and the nickname came about because his left arm was missing and was replaced by a red hook instead. No one really knew details about the incident and no one was stupid enough to ask. And now he had to enter the man's household slash workplace to not only tell him that the crown he had forged all those years ago and meant to be passed down through his own family for ages to come had been disintegrated, but he also had to demand for a new one to be made. 

He knocked on the metallic door and cringed at the sound, and just when he thought that no one was home, he heard a hostile _"Who's there?"_ from the other side. 

"It's Shizuo."

"And?" 

He gulped.

"I'm here on official royal business," he decided, not wanting to tell him that he was the prince and heir to the throne. His dad had told him that Red Hook wasn't exactly fond of royalty. And the man was the very same blacksmith that made his father's crown, so he probably knew what he was talking about. 

There was a an annoyed groan on the other side, as if Shizuo was the very bane of his existence, and then he could hear a series of locks twisting and turning. He counted at least five different ones, until the door opened to reveal a man, probably a little older than his own father, with grey hair and a messy beard. He had this look in his dark eyes that made Shizuo think that he'd seen everything. And although he was a blacksmith, dealing with hands on work all the time, he had quite the average frame. But as he walked back and behind the counter engraving some sort of encryption on a blade that he was working on, Shizuo realised that where he lacked in muscle, he made up for in steady and experienced hands. 

The room was filled with weaponry and contraptions; some thrown on the floor, others lining the walls, and he was pretty sure that he could spot a mace by the fridge in the other room. He listened to the steady sound of fire crackling and scraping metal before, "So I heard you destroyed the crown," He said, almost conversationally if not for the judgemental look he shot at him. 

"Oh," Shizuo replied dumbly, "So you heard of that part." 

"Just cause I live in the forest doesn't mean I never know what's going on kid," He said, leaning back down to add the final touches on whatever he was working on. 

"Why do you live here anyway?" He found himself asking, instantly regretting it at the very moment that the words left his lips. But he wasn't being kicked out of the house so he decided to flail some more, "You could live in town instead." 

"I could," He agreed even though he was still glaring at him, "But that would mean being around people. People gave me a hard time back in the day." 

As he turned to store the knife away, Shizuo couldn't help but stare at his left arm, or better yet, the lack thereof. 

"People changed," He said absentmindedly, thinking that living in a forest must get lonely, and that no one these days would cause the man too much trouble. He certainly wouldn't lose another limb for it. But all he got in return was silence, so he decided that it might help if he cut straight to the point. 

"I was wondering if you could make a new crown for the family." 

"No," Came the response, quick and easy, and Shizuo let out an undignified little _'huh?'_ because he hadn't been expecting such a blatant rejection. 

"But I need it." Maybe the guy thought that he was joking. 

"That's too bad, isn't it?" 

Shizuo grit his teeth at his loftiness. 

"How about I help you make it?" 

"Still no." 

"I'll make it myself then. Just tell me how to." 

That's it. That's the last thing he could think of, the most he could bargain. All he had was out on the table, and he was left to hope for mercy from a sour old man. But the blacksmith just put his hand on the counter and leaned a little forward, narrowing his eyes at him. 

"You're Beast's son, aren't you?" 

Shizuo rose a brow at the question. There was no way that he recognised him, because he was pretty sure that the guy never saw what the prince looked like in the first place.

"Yeah. How'd you know?" 

"Because you're acting like him," He said gruffly, "He was stubborn. So stubborn that he made a barrier and proceeded to regret it for the rest of his life." 

Shizuo was the first to get defensive over the people that were his family, but Red Hook sounded so bitter and so sure of what he was saying that he couldn't bring himself to be angry. And although the words were unkind they weren't exactly untrue. 

"Did you know him?" He found himself asking, even if the man didn't seem to be the type to open up about personal matters. 

"We used to be friends," He said while shrugging lightly, "Had a fallout when he decided to make The Isle. Told him it was a messy idea. He wouldn't listen. At the time it was the only thing to be done of course. I just tried to tell him he didn't need to sacrifice his own sanity and take up such a burden to save all the other kingdoms. I told him that he could be selfish for once."

Shizuo stared a little helplessly at him, because he had never considered it like that before. No wonder he was just a shell of what he used to be. 

"But he did anyway. The decision broke him, and I couldn't handle sticking around after that. He's always been stubborn, but," And then he was pointing at Shizuo, poking him in the chest with the metallic hook, "You're even more stubborn than he is." 

"You think so?" He asked while snorting out a laugh. Red Hook just rose a brow.

"How else would you have been able to get those kids off of The Isle? It's not exactly talked about, but I know you spent years talking to your parents and the council trying to convince them to bring them over. They only took you seriously once you decided that it would be your proclamation. And now, you managed to get them back, even after all they did. Your old man has got nothing on you, kid." 

Shizuo was taken aback to say the least. What he said was true, but he really didn't know who he heard all that from. The Prince's desire to join the two worlds wasn't exactly a secret; anyone who was somebody knew about a young Shizuo wondering aloud and shamelessly about why the kids of The Isle were being punished too. When noblemen asked him for his solution of the problem back then out of entertainment, they always gave him weird looks when he'd tell them _'It's simple. They can just live with us!'_ with great fortitude. Of course they didn't think much of it until he had the power to do something. At the end, it wasn't so difficult because he had been annoying every member of the council about it for eight years. And when his father's regret about the entire thing was thrown into the mix, it wasn't too difficult. What it really took when it boiled down to it, was being excessively stubborn on the matter. 

"I can't take all the credit," he insisted with a small smile, "They've all been trying too," and he couldn't help but think about how far the four of them had come, even if they still resembled a ragtag team of misfits, "They earned their place here." 

"So I've heard." 

They stared each other down for a moment, and finally Shizuo sighed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "So you're really not going to make that crown?" 

"Nope," he said while reaching down to grab a wooden crate that was on the floor to put it on the counter, "Because I've already made it," And he was sliding the top off to reveal it; all gold with intricate designs that he could spend hours spotting, but still simple enough that it didn't scare him off. It was humble in it's own way. And probably shiny in the light too. Izaya would love to steal it. 

"Thanks," He said, sounding as grateful as he felt. 

"Try it on." 

Although hesitant at first, he decided to give in, just to find that it sat a little lopsided on his head. He almost laughed at the irony of it all. It was like history repeating itself all over again. 

"It doesn't fit," he supplied helpfully while taking the crown off. "You'll grow into it," Red Hook said as he put it back into its crate, sparing a glance at Shizuo as he added an, "Eventually." 

Shizuo thought that he was making fun of him, but then he noticed that little smile at his lips, and a playful glint in his eye, and thought that perhaps, he had said the very same words to an old friend. 

With a final 'thanks' for the road, Shizuo was turning around to see himself out. "I really do think you should consider moving into the town. You'd be a lot more accessible like that," He called back. 

"Maybe I will." 

"That it'd be great," He was almost out the door, but he stopped and turned his head, "I have a friend of mine that would love to ask you for a new pair of knives!" 

"I look forward to it," He replied, sounding so endlessly amused, and so Shizuo held the crate that held the weight of the world a little closer, and opened the door to face the sun. 

-

Izaya was waiting patiently at the clearing in front of the forest because for once he had some time to spare, and he was asked to make sure that the crown was delivered back to Beast and Belle safely anyway. He was just doing his job. It's not like he was there for Shizuo. 

Definitely not. 

After a few minutes of resting on the ground, splayed out under the sun with blades of grass underneath his fingertips, something came along and blocked the light.

"You lazy shit," Shizuo greeted, and Izaya cracked open an eye. 

"Shizu-chan. You're taking away my light," he complained, but taking the hand Shizuo was offering nonetheless. Almost immediately, his gaze landed on the crate, and he was taking it for himself with greedy hands and a curious gaze. 

"How did it go?" He asked conversationally, and Shizuo grumbled something about how he wasn't the one that was supposed to go get it in the first place, but Izaya just ignored him. He slid the top of the crate off, letting it drop on the floor, and audibly gasped as he pulled the crown out of the box all together because it was so _shiny._ And Shizuo was giving him this weird look, a helpless smile on his lips as he furrowed his brows. 

"What?" He asked as he lowered the crown so that he could look at Shizuo in the eye. 

"You looked so excited just then," He said, and Izaya just smiled wider, before lifting the crown up and shoving it on Shizuo's head. The movement was so sudden that Shizuo stumbled back with a startled little sound escaping his lips. 

Izaya looked at Shizuo, who had a blush dusting his ears, and thought that the crown sitting lopsided on the mop of blonde hair seemed fitting. 

-

_'You don't deserve that crown.'_

_-_

"You're King now!" He said, even if the coronation technically hadn't happened yet. Shizuo barely had the chance to smile, because Izaya was taking the crown for himself and putting it on his head, and then he was running with Shizuo's complaints and laughter dancing in his own ears.

And it took them so long, so many uncountable days to get to this point, just to get back to the beginning like when they were seven years old, laughing and running without a care for the world. And even if there are other worlds, like those mentioned in the story books, perhaps they'll always end up together; in every reality, every timeline, every tangible possibility of life. Not because they're something as beautiful as soulmates; they're just too stubborn to let each other go. After all, who could give up the smile of the sun? 

Shizuo finally caught up to him and interlaced their fingers, and they kept running hand in hand because they had places to be. In that moment, Izaya decided that he'd continue to play baseball with Hina, and let Ichiko tell him all the latest gossip because he'd always be an informant at heart, looking at people around him to wonder where they came from, who they were, and what mundane thing made them so wonderfully human. He'd continue to annoy Namie, and check out the patrol schedule so that he could see Tanaka, and spend lazy days with his friends even if he didn't have the time for them. And he'd continue to love Shizuo, because he'd been loving him since he was seven years old, in a way, and now he finally had the courage to show it. 

Looking up at the sky with a laugh bubbling past his lips, he realised that for the first time, he could really see it; 

**_He could see the sun._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to say a big thank you to whoever read this behemoth of a story. Despite all the hours and pain that went with all this writing, I can wholeheartedly say that it was a labour of love, and I hope that it proved to be a story worth telling. 
> 
> Love you all so much for reading, and I definitely do not have another story idea that I'll try to write over the summer and then release as a completed work.   
> Definitely not.


End file.
